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Scam Trek Caption Contest

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Europe, the final fun-tear...

 

Courtesy of William Banzai

 

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Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:03 | 2368172 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

"Fly directly into that Black Hole and see what happens."

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:04 | 2368178 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

"Does anyone know the 'Picard maneuver' for banks?"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:04 | 2368174 DeltaCharlie
DeltaCharlie's picture

"We've got to risk implosion. We may explode into the biggest fireball this part of the galaxy has seen, but we've got to take that one in a Trillion Euro chance."

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:03 | 2368175 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...into the black hole, bitchez. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJzV0_SaV-k

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:04 | 2368177 Misean
Misean's picture

So this is what happens if you keep cheating the Kobayashi Maru.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 21:47 | 2368914 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

+1 for the reference - how do we alter the program, PM's?

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:04 | 2368179 vegas
vegas's picture

Sulu: "WTF could possibly go wrong with these asshats running the ship?"

 

http://vegasxau.blogspot.com

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:04 | 2368180 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

Good grief; I just had a visualization of Nurse Chapel, Cpt Lagarde, Yeoman Merkal with Vulcan Obama in the Star Trek episode: “Ménage à trois. “ You know, the one where Obama gets his 7 year fuck-on!

 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:35 | 2368185 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Scotty: "Captain Lagard, there's a massive 2,000 mile high clown floating in outer space, I've never seen anything like it!"

Capt. Lagarde; "That's our ultimate mission Scotty, to populate Planet Clown, where all central bankers want to go, where no sane person has gone before"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:07 | 2368186 EBR MOD 0
EBR MOD 0's picture

quick Scotty Beam me up, But Captain I can't.....we are out of reactor fuel and no one will accept our Euros any more.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:05 | 2368187 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

"All phasers on Hollande."

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:07 | 2368188 1835jackson
1835jackson's picture

Our mission...TO BOLDLY FUCK THINGS UP LIKE NO ONE HAS DONE BEFORE!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:06 | 2368189 penexpers
penexpers's picture

"These are the voyages of the Scamship Lenderprise... with its continuing mission to seek out new muppets and derivitized debt instruments, to boldy go where no unelected bankster technocrat has gone before!"

I win.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:08 | 2368200 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

My Favorite!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:39 | 2368318 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

You win :)

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:46 | 2368347 Crack-up Boom
Crack-up Boom's picture

You had me at Scamship Lenderprise"!  Spot on! 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:23 | 2368470 1835jackson
1835jackson's picture

I admit it that is a good one.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:06 | 2368190 TwoJacks
TwoJacks's picture

oh shit, we've gone plaid

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:07 | 2368192 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

(Geithner to Obummer): "Let go of my ears, I know what I'm doing!"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:07 | 2368193 Reptil
Reptil's picture

Play this for extra authenticity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPoqNeR3_UA

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 20:58 | 2368848 buckethead
buckethead's picture

Needs to be bumped to the top of the comments. excellent way to peruse.

 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:09 | 2368203 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

J. Probst:  "Last week on FIAT SURVIVOR, the Central Bankster Tribe voted out Jon Corzine.  Who will be Next to go?

Find Out tonight !!!"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:09 | 2368205 michael_engineer
michael_engineer's picture

Our Tribble currency paradigm is making us all rich!!!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:19 | 2368235 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

LOL

 

Those aren't tribbles!  They're dollars!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 21:41 | 2368907 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

Born pregnant

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:12 | 2368212 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Scam Drek

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:12 | 2368214 mt paul
mt paul's picture

for gods sake scottie bernake

we need more QE now...

aye captain 

i'm printing as fast as she'll go

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:12 | 2368216 Stack Trace
Stack Trace's picture

(yes I am bored)

Lagarde (Captain):

"Arm FIAT Torpedos. On my mark. FIRE!"

<Pan to the view screen...a large black nebulous blob glows in green radiation...shrinks briefly...then expands yet again...only larger>

Obama (Science Officer):

"Captain, the FIAT torpedos have no effect on the mysterious force of Ponzi. Scanners indicate a rapid growth in size."

Largarde (Captain):

"Arm LIQUIDITY Phasers. On my mark. FIRE!"

<Camera pans yet again to the view screen...the large black nebulous blob glows in blue radiation....seems to disipate briefly...then solidifies. A large tenderil of blackness flings itself into the deck and begins sucking the crew into the void>

Lagarde (Captain) to Timmah (Idiot on Deck):

"You told me this couldn't happen"

Timmah (Idiot on Deck) to Lagarde (Captain):

"My bad...I goofed"

Lagarde (To the crew):

"All hands abandon ship. Not you Merkel. You stay and buy us some time to escape."

The crew quickly exits the bridge leaving Merkel behind to fight off the mess....

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:15 | 2368221 neidermeyer
neidermeyer's picture

How fitting ,, Merkel's a red-shirt ...

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:15 | 2368223 michael_engineer
michael_engineer's picture

Warp derive engaged!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:16 | 2368226 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

If DSK was there it would be:

 

DSK: Fuck me!  It will save the universe!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:17 | 2368230 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

"OK, which one of you is the REAL slewie the pi-rat?"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:19 | 2368233 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

"I assure you we have a chinamanese wall between our warp desk and our print desk."

Kirk

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:20 | 2368237 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

Capt. Merkelkirk:  Full speed ahead Mr Wolf de Bernank!

Spockbarack:  Captain, is that wise? If you recall, my Green Card expires in November, and if it is not renewed you will really be in trouble.

Capt. Merkelkirk: Oh yes Mr Spockbarack, you're right of course.  Hmm, well what do you suggest then?

Spockbarack:  I suggest...that you give up the ship until then and let me handle things. 

Capt. Merkelkirk:  You poiny-eared mutineer... oh very well!  But it's going to be a rough ride I can see that now.  

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:20 | 2368238 jumbo maverick
jumbo maverick's picture

Kirk-"What do you mean Scotty, our silver fell overboard?"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:37 | 2368312 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Don't worry, the Morgan of the planet JP will sell us more!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:55 | 2368384 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

Yes, but just bear in mind the Morgan will do so only in the interest of keeping a Balanced Book.

I hardly think I need to remind anyone though after the Masters-baiter made the point so convincingly in her recent CNBS appearance.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:20 | 2368239 gimli
gimli's picture

Captain it's Scotty ------ the last batch of dilithium crystals were filled with camel cum --- 

Didn't I tell you not to order them from JP Morgan?

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:26 | 2368264 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

Not sure I get it, but I laughed anyway.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:32 | 2368284 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

It's about salted gold bars filled with tungsten.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:38 | 2368316 gimli
gimli's picture

In essence ..... Scotty got a bad load ...........

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:52 | 2368379 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

Damn camel cum, gets me every time.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:22 | 2368245 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

"Time to find another galaxy.  We've fucked all the muppets out of their savings in this one already."

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:25 | 2368249 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

"Sometimes I wish I could boldly go where no man has gone before, but I'll probably stay here in Aurora."

 

-Garth

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:23 | 2368251 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Beam G-pap bck up, that shit didn't work and the spartanoids are pissed.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:25 | 2368260 Born-Again Bankster
Born-Again Bankster's picture

Those Asians age so damn well. 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 21:38 | 2368900 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

Take a look at http://www.georgetakei.com/WEDDING.asp
You may reconsider. Ohuru's aged a lot too.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:27 | 2368269 FROZENOJFUTURES
FROZENOJFUTURES's picture

In space noone can hear you print

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 08:42 | 2368275 TomGa
TomGa's picture

"Transporter room,  bridge. Has the gold been beamed aboard?" "Very well."

"Print shop, bridge. Mr. Bernanke, I need more fiat!"

"I'm printing all she's got, Captain. I can't print any faster. The d'Itaglio printing presses are wearing out!"

'Make it 120 Trillion, Mr. Bernake, I need it now!"

"Captain's log - After removing an entire world's supply of physical we left them with paper. Suckers. Who knew looting an entire planet was this easy?? They sure didn't teach this at the Academy. But that was before a year spent training in combat tactics at Goldman."

"Set a course out for the next planet in 'need' of central banking, Mr.  Draghi , warp 5."

"And you, Barry, Barack, whoever. Go swab a deck before I transporter your ass back to your homeworld of Kenya."

 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:29 | 2368278 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Spockbama quotes:

Ahh, Mr. Bernanke, I understand you're having difficulty with the printer driver.

It is illogical for a banker to resent the phrase "ponzi scheme".

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:31 | 2368280 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life left here on Earth.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:14 | 2368447 mt paul
mt paul's picture

beam me up scottie

no signs of liquidty here..

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:31 | 2368281 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Scotty: Capn the replicator is out of controllll!  It's making endless amounts of fiat and it won't stop.

Captain: It's working just fine Scotty...just fine.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:31 | 2368282 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Any attempt to turn off the printing press is futile...  The Bernanke , aka the " BORG" !

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:34 | 2368289 piceridu
piceridu's picture

Prepare a landing party...phasers on kill... any Muppet who refuses to buy AAPL, PCLN or NFLX...let's also add Spanish and Italian bonds

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:38 | 2368293 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Keep your hands off my dilithium crystals--fuckers.

Attack your own worlds. Leave ours alone.

Renounce your species and be gone.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:34 | 2368295 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Stardat 2012... We met the taxpayers today.... Threw 5 fotontorpedo's on them and took off at warp speed...

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:36 | 2368306 Thamesford
Thamesford's picture

"Fleece,  The political top tier. This was the visage of the Euro Enterprise Zone. It's ten year mission to implore strange old laws (of economics), to eek out strife and new disimillation. To boldly blow what no man had blown before" 

 

 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:37 | 2368310 Haddock
Haddock's picture

"Illogical Captain"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:46 | 2368321 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

We need...more funding...now. Scotty, can we get...more power...to the laser...printers?

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:57 | 2368326 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Prepare to inject thermonuclear liquidity!
Engage capital controls!
MSM spinners on stun!
Deploy public employee anti-austerity shield!
Timmay!...your life jacket stays on!

(Scotty):  She can't take it captain! It's too much!

Silence!
Printus Maximus sanity override on my count...
Thermonuclear liquidity injection away!

(rumble, rumble, twitch, twitch) AHHHUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHAAAAHHHHHyyyyyeee!!
ttttthhhhhhhhhhppppphhhhhhffffttt!

(stars bleed to streaks of white on the displays)

Yes! Yes! I'm inflating! I'm inflating!
We're  inflating awaaayyyyyyyyy!!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:41 | 2368328 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

The Federation wants a piece of the action.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:30 | 2368485 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Only die hard Trekkies will get that.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:45 | 2368621 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Wait - is that the one where Spock was supposed to be from France?

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:43 | 2368338 ivana
ivana's picture

williame legendo! :-D

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:43 | 2368340 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Scotty, beam Corzine up! There's nothing left to steal down there! Mr. Sulu, set a course for Uranus, Timmy wants to go looking for some Klingons! Bones! Give me another shot, whatever that STD was that Ben gave me is itching like crazy...!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:59 | 2368360 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Klingon Captain QE:  "Us Klingons have never been at war with The Federation; we have always been allies and stand united in imposing austerity upon the Tribbles."

Angelayota Merkelhuru:  "But Benlakh Bernankmock!  I believe I see a Borg Cube ship approaching in 3D!"

Christinjames LaGukirk:  "Nonsense my dear, those are simply journalists from the MSM.  Besides, I'm the Captain, go put those satin sheets from Antares IV on my bed!"

MarioLeonardo DragMcBoy:  "*Sniffle*, *Sob*, I thought all your gifts were for me!?!."

Timothpavel Geithrekov:  "Dr. Obummerpock, Romulan fleet firing photon debt torpedoes and insolvency lasers!  However, I see no risk; I repeat, no risk!".

Dr. Obummerpock:  "That is a highly logical conclusion; especially the more you repeat it."

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:49 | 2368364 gimli
gimli's picture

Captain, Spock here, I've just notified the Corzine family that their MF Global

package has been tracked to an alternate universe where time and space have 

no logical meaning. I'm afraid it can not be recovered.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:50 | 2368369 phraseshifter
phraseshifter's picture

"Bones-the Euro's on life support!"

"jim-I'm a doctor not a (new contest caption insert)"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:48 | 2368625 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Jim, I'm a real doctor, not a paper doctor.

Tue, 04/24/2012 - 12:29 | 2370282 Thamesford
Thamesford's picture

"Jim - I'm a doctor not a printer  repiar man!"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:51 | 2368371 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

"Set course for planet Kenyos. The Soterians must be saved!"

 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:52 | 2368372 Paul Atreides
Paul Atreides's picture

"All these countries are yours except Iceland attempt no banking there"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:00 | 2368544 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Wrong movie, but that's the best one.

+1

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:41 | 2368608 Paul Atreides
Paul Atreides's picture

Thanks, couldn't resist...the implosion of Jupiter and the whole final scene has striking similarities to the future of our financial system.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:53 | 2368387 Drachma
Drachma's picture

...our mission, to search far and wide for new blackholes, to boldly and deeply...

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:55 | 2368389 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

"Jim, we just got an urgent message from the Federation. They want us to put USPS on the side on the Enterprize, fly eratically, and stop frequently. For this, they will give us a handsome pension, including that Spock fucker who will live to be 324."

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:55 | 2368393 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Oi, we're stuck in a credit well.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 16:59 | 2368405 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

That's what you get for violating the zirp zone treaty.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:32 | 2368400 Paul Atreides
Paul Atreides's picture

2nd entry:

"Fiat...the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the banking criminal Enterprise. Its mission: to explore strange, new fraudulent derivatives, to seek out new wealth and conquer civilizations, to boldly go where no bank has gone before."

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:01 | 2368407 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

to INFINITY and beyond !..............

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:01 | 2368410 stuartbushcraftblog
stuartbushcraftblog's picture

KIRK "Quick bones, Commander Bernanke is in need of an emergency vasectomy,if not he will ease his quantative all over the econosphere!"

 

BONES "Thats a negative Jim, don't you know that there is no end to this prick?"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:03 | 2368416 trip kitchen
trip kitchen's picture

"Captain, I see no signs of intelligent life here."

"Agreed, but somehow we keep our jobs"

"No, I meant on the planet."

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:03 | 2368417 BudFox2012
BudFox2012's picture

"I'm givin' er all she's got Captain... this printing press is packing quite a load..."

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:04 | 2368419 Nozza
Nozza's picture

Lol

What goes in in WB's mind? Why has Scotty been left unaltered?

Thanks William

Noz

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 22:24 | 2368953 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Ill not have you tampering with this delicate image!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:09 | 2368425 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Lagarde's face looks so much better on a man's body.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:14 | 2368440 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

SAR-bernan-EK is Really O-Spocks father. If only we could see the birth certificate…..

Geithner: “I sense a disturbance in the force” “Oh crap, wrong set”

Lagarde: “Hey Doc, what about those tit’s you promised me?”

Drahgi: “No prob, I only accept Gold or Silver Bullion”

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:18 | 2368454 theTribster
theTribster's picture

Zulu is wearing no pants! He wants Draghi and Merkel wants LeGarde who wants Geitner. The scene seems incomplete without Bernanke...

Nice Pic +1

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:19 | 2368458 windcatcher
windcatcher's picture

Uncloak Geithner!

Do you see how we lizards are prettier and smarter than you humans?

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:21 | 2368463 catch edge ghost
catch edge ghost's picture

Dystopia: the fiat frontier. This is the carnage of the dumbship Printerprize.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:22 | 2368468 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

" But Captain, the force shields are down...I canna give you more power and we can't outrun them..."

"Brace for impact, Scotty".

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:27 | 2368473 Assetman
Assetman's picture

Draghi McCoy: "Dammit, Christine!  I'm a Doctor in Economics, not a Miracle Worker!!!!".

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:24 | 2368474 resurger
resurger's picture

Captain the mission code is:

"paper een"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:27 | 2368481 Rathmullan
Rathmullan's picture

Farce, the final frontier. These are the voyages and sinkings of the drudge ship Euro. Her mission: to explore strange new world orders, to snuff out life and liberty and once proud civilizations, to coldly go where no sane man has gone before.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:31 | 2368490 Wags
Wags's picture

 "I think this is our last episode"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:35 | 2368498 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Do you think those people looking at us on the view screen can tell we are all inbred sociopaths ?

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:36 | 2368500 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

""Captain's log, Scamship Spenderprize, Stardate 4-23-12".........The Victory of the Goldmanites continues as they ruthlessly crush MidClassers and subject the survivors to indentured servitude........

 


Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:41 | 2368516 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

We're all fucked

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:58 | 2368539 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

M-m-m-must print!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:50 | 2368637 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Relax - it's just a wallet-meld.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:44 | 2368520 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Lookout, Timmy is again exploring Ben's black hole!!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:48 | 2368524 A shaped recovery
A shaped recovery's picture

Captains log : stardate 042312 : We were approaching a planetary shift but escaped due to Mr. Sugga's geniust treasury stabilization dampiner. We are now on course to meet up with Fleecefleet at Deep Space nigh.... 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:52 | 2368528 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Borg? Assimilated?

CTL-P, Captain?

Yes, Sulu! Fiat Torpedos!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:56 | 2368533 Sausagemaker
Sausagemaker's picture

"I CAN"T HOLD HER TOGETHER MUCH LONGER CAPITAIN! She's braking up!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:06 | 2368538 de Tocqueville
de Tocqueville's picture

Merkel : Scottie !! Where's this freak'n blond bitch taking us NOW !! ?

Scottie : I cannie tell Frau Merkel !! But by the smell of us all here shitt'n ourselves, she seems to be taking us straight to the................................................................. cleaners.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:59 | 2368540 Mach1513
Mach1513's picture

Do we have a deal for you!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 17:59 | 2368541 boooyaaaah
boooyaaaah's picture
Ron Paul Slams Internet Control Bill CISPA
  •  

 

“Big Brother writ” will allow feds to use corporate resources for “spying on the American people”

Steve Watson
Infowars.com
April 23, 2012


 

In the week that lawmakers will vote on the Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act (CIPSA), Presidential candidate Ron Paul has slammed the legislation in an effort to raise public awareness of the dangers the bill poses to the free and open internet.

“CISPA is essentially an Internet monitoring bill that permits both the federal government and private companies to view your private online communications with no judicial oversight, provided, of course, that they do so in the name of cyber security,” Paul notes in his weekly Texas Straight Talk address

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:02 | 2368548 boooyaaaah
boooyaaaah's picture

The only protection we have is the constitution

And the resident socialists was to change it all the time

for any reason

The resident facists do too

 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:33 | 2368604 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

DEC 1, 2012

 

"I have decided we do not need Congress or The Court anymore. I alone shall be responsible for the Germ-- uh, American people."

"Sieg O! Sieg O! Sieg O!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:28 | 2368595 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

NSA Chief: "why is the floor so sticky in here, Colonel?"

COL: "All we intercept is porn, sir."

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:03 | 2368552 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

psssst! Spock! Your hat! They'll find out they're ruled by Reticulans!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:11 | 2368564 Jacque Itch
Jacque Itch's picture

Capt Kirk:  I don't care about that crap!  What did Priceline close at today?

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:20 | 2368578 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

He's dead Jim.

Watch out! Don't touch the fiat! It's everywhere on this planet.

Get the away team back, pronto!

If any of this get aboard it will reproduce endlessly!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:30 | 2368599 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

Resistance is futile.  Your organic life forms will be absorbed jnto the continuum.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:30 | 2368600 Savvy
Savvy's picture
"Please, Captain, not in front of the Klingons"
Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:41 | 2368617 Ellesmere
Ellesmere's picture

LMAO !

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 18:48 | 2368628 phraseshifter
phraseshifter's picture

from the Viewscreen:

"This is Starfleet Command-which one of you

 groped a Groupon?"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 19:07 | 2368673 Homey
Homey's picture

Scam Trek - the video....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQQgzC58w4A

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 19:30 | 2368718 blindman
blindman's picture

" captain, we are simple fiat country-wide doctors
of ponzi, someone sell the derivative futures with
no collateral and rehypothecate the the lithium shields
before this Klingon eats up the space-time dis-continuum."

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 20:09 | 2368771 Jimmy Twinkle
Jimmy Twinkle's picture

I may be the only token chinese american on this bridge right now, I may be Koffi Anan's and Boutris2 Galli bitch. a Dan aKroyd to Eddie Murphys O Bama wajger right from the left hand side of the pack. Maybe Bulford's right and I am part of the Jade Tiger Dynsaty Sent out West to Kill me a jew. I dont care Ive appeared in a video even you have no escuse out uo a fucking head. IMF motherfucker.

Thats aboust as much words as youll ever get out of a chinaman again.

 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 20:10 | 2368774 Jimmy Twinkle
Jimmy Twinkle's picture

I may be the only token chinese american on this bridge right now, I may be Koffi Anan's and Boutris2 Galli bitch. a Dan aKroyd to Eddie Murphys O Bama wajger right from the left hand side of the pack. Maybe Bulford's right and I am part of the Jade Tiger Dynsaty Sent out West to Kill me a jew. I dont care Ive appeared in a video even you have no escuse out uo a fucking head. IMF motherfucker.

Thats aboust as much words as youll ever get out of a chinaman again.

 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 20:10 | 2368775 Jimmy Twinkle
Jimmy Twinkle's picture

I may be the only token chinese american on this bridge right now, I may be Koffi Anan's and Boutris2 Galli bitch. a Dan aKroyd to Eddie Murphys O Bama wajger right from the left hand side of the pack. Maybe Bulford's right and I am part of the Jade Tiger Dynsaty Sent out West to Kill me a jew. I dont care Ive appeared in a video even you have no escuse out uo a fucking head. IMF motherfucker.

Thats aboust as much words as youll ever get out of a chinaman again.

 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 20:15 | 2368786 steelrules
steelrules's picture

To boldly indebt where no man dared indebt before.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 20:30 | 2368806 Artemis Fact
Artemis Fact's picture

To Boldly Go...
Where No One Knows What's Happened Before!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 20:32 | 2368809 nick howdy
nick howdy's picture

Now that we've destroyed planet earth...let's go fuck some green bitches!  

Tue, 04/24/2012 - 07:55 | 2369321 nick howdy
nick howdy's picture

Tyler,

I should have won this thing, nothing beats green bitches! Nothing!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 20:38 | 2368821 projectxland
projectxland's picture

I canna push them any harder captain! the rehypothecailium crystals are running at 110%!

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 20:46 | 2368833 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Obama as Spook?  Er...   is that the Vulcan spelling?

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 21:31 | 2368890 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Nigel Farage approaching at warp speed.

 

Shields up! Load all photon torpedo bays.

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 21:38 | 2368901 DaylightWastingTime
DaylightWastingTime's picture

tv series - Scam Trek : Fuck The Next Generation

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 22:09 | 2368935 bluebare
bluebare's picture

And some tardy also-rans:

 

"Shut-up, Spock! We're rescuing you!" – McCoy (The Immunity Syndrome)

 

“By golly, Jim... I'm beginning to think I can cure a rainy day!" -- McCoy (The Devil in the Dark)

 

"In four hours the ship blows up" -- Scotty (The Savage Curtain)

 

"Resistance is futile." -- Data (Star Trek: First Contact)

 

 

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 22:14 | 2368942 Oh-Globits
Oh-Globits's picture

...there are NO INTELLIGENT life forms here

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 22:22 | 2368948 brown_hornet
brown_hornet's picture

"Someday the Chinese are going to want a piece of OUR action"

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 22:22 | 2368950 CoolBeans
CoolBeans's picture
KIRK:  SHIELDS UP!!  No more jokes about wiping out the klingons circling uranus. 

         

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 22:35 | 2368971 Shazam342
Shazam342's picture

"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a central banker!"

Tue, 04/24/2012 - 03:38 | 2369194 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

YES, AND I WANT 5 POUNDS OF THEIR FLESH!

and drain me a pint of their blood, I'm thirsty...

Mon, 04/23/2012 - 23:33 | 2369044 Irwin Fletcher
Irwin Fletcher's picture

 

These are the voyages of the Scam Trek Genocide.

Its five-year mission: 

To explore strange new OTC markets

To seek out new credit and new penalizations

To boldly debase what no bank has devalued before... 

 

Tue, 04/24/2012 - 02:03 | 2369145 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Destruct Sequence LTRO1-LTRO2-ECB-IMF-FED-EU Engage

Tue, 04/24/2012 - 07:16 | 2369283 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

But they wont accept this currency in this part of the galaxy, they say it will lose too much value by the time they make it home!

Sat, 04/28/2012 - 14:25 | 2382462 saturn
saturn's picture

THE BERNAKLINGON: "Captain, the tungsten is ready for shipping.."

 

{SULU: "All systems ready! Nothing can go wrong as long as we have a green leprechaun on board!"

First Mate Draghon: "Beam"

Cpt. Laggard: "That"

Android Merkel: "Shit"

Officer BIG-O: "Up my.. oh, bummer!"

SCOTTY: "OK, my captains! Beaming the SHIT where it belongs! ENERGY!!!" }

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