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Schauble Dashes Hopes (Again) For Greek Bailout, EURUSD Slides (Again)

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 02/15/2012 08:57 -0400

And the hits from the broken gramophone just keep on coming... on coming.... on coming:

SCHAUBLE: SO FAR THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS FROM GREECE ARE NOT PRESENT

Wait, Germany wants.... Greece to fail? Shocker. But, but, but at least China is still bailing out the world. Right? We are now taking bets on what today's idiotic 3:45pm rumor will be.

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Wed, 02/15/2012 - 08:59 | 2161158 qussl3

Iran to buy Greek bonds.

DOW 15k in 2 days.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:03 | 2161166 slaughterer

If we get a "successful PSI agreement" announcement at 3:45pm EST today, ZH pays slaughterer $10,000.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:08 | 2161176 Everybodys All ...

correction ... only need the rumor of an agreement.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:15 | 2161210 Zgangsta

Rumor has it that a heretofore unknown tribe living in the darkest jungles of Brazil has been discovered, and will bail out Europe with their preserved jaguar brain currency (which, unlike fiat currency, has actual intrinsic value)

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:16 | 2161215 disabledvet

"Europe explodes. Dow 15K." there...fixed the headline for you. of course i'm from New York. I know for a fact "these people have no intention of ever getting along. With anyone."

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 13:33 | 2162455 Matt

The single most important thing for a beauracrat, is that no matter what, no matter how serious the situation, how urgent, ALL OF THE PAPERWORK MUST BE IN ORDER! If there is a missing signature or initial or stamp or date, that's it we're calling off the invasion / bailout / evacuation / whatever. I almost admire their amazing single-mindedness.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:17 | 2161216 LongSoupLine

3:30 pm today....

*APPLE TO RELOCATE HQ IN ATHENS.

*APPLE TO DISTRIBUTE CASH RESERVES TO GREEK GOVT.

*APPLE TO RENAME COMPANY "OLIVE".

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:00 | 2161159 Capitalist

China will bailout Greece if collateral pledged is shiny and gold.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:02 | 2161163 agent default

Or give an island to Russia. Russia would definitely love a naval base in the Aegean.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:15 | 2161209 Zero Govt

..or give an island to America ...Obumma is going to need an escape hole after the most disasterous Presidency in US history (after maybe Abraham Lincoln ..and he was shot)

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:18 | 2161221 r00t61

Why can't more Presidents follow in the footsteps of William Henry Harrison...who died after serving in office for 32 days?

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:47 | 2161348 a growing concern

Damn you, modern medicine!

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 10:10 | 2161434 Harlequin001

one wonders when one looks at the candidates whether America actually needs a President, and whether it would fair better like Belgium, leaderless...

Just curious...

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:02 | 2161162 GeneMarchbanks

Meh

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:10 | 2161168 Spooky Polish

Rumor ?

Sirens of Titan stole Rings of Saturn in order to pay EU and US depts . Whole ,

buy, buy, and die

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:05 | 2161171 mkanterm

Zeus will descend from Mount Olypus and save us all. Calling it.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:16 | 2161196 Zero Govt

the desperate Greek Govt will wheel anything out the cupboard to save their skins

...even a marble statue of Zeus if it'll do the trick

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:07 | 2161175 misterc

There's a very positive mood in all the government talks. A deal is imminent. The Chinese offered their support. TOTUS wants to get it done. Germany feels its moral obligation after WW2. Spike EURUSD!

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:43 | 2161330 cranky-old-geezer

Spike EURUSD!

It has spiked. It's up 45% against USD since EU started.

Or maybe I should say USD has lost 45% against the Euro, the more likely scenario.

Hmmmm...... no wonder Iraq and Lybia had their oil priced in Euros.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:09 | 2161177 Dead Canary

What's that, Unicorns...... Flying Unicorns carrying bags of gold.... And I hear... I hear... The Ride of the Valkyries playing in the background. Oh we're SAVED! We're SAVED!

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:11 | 2161194 mkanterm

lolz

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:08 | 2161179 firstdivision

Discovered that Whitney Houston had $2T in assets at time of death
Whitney Houston will bequeths all assets to Greece.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:19 | 2161224 Dr. Engali

Who's Whitney Houston? Did I miss something ?

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:08 | 2161181 Habyarimana

Putin, Iran, China for sure will bailout Greece and the Westerners will GS, JPM and the Rothschilds

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:09 | 2161182 Life of Illusion

Notice how no deal and no money until EFSF compliant.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:10 | 2161192 Zero Govt

...and CDS compliant

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:09 | 2161185 Zero Govt

Euro sliding ...Gold and Silver rising

..this isn't what the textbook says.. getting very 'interesting'

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:09 | 2161187 Mamzer Ben Zonah

Schauble wants documents?

Since when is a Greek document worth anything??

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:39 | 2161311 Dugald

Beware Greeks bearing rifts.....

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 10:05 | 2161418 Instant Wealth

Charlie don't surf

Samaras don't do documents

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:10 | 2161190 Vincent Vega

Today's 3:45 rumor: Documents have been signed and sent via Fedex. Foillowed by the overnight rumor: Documents were sent via UPS not FedEx...documents have been lost, tracking number can not be found.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:26 | 2161258 LongSoupLine

Documents on FedEx plane with Tom Hanks.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:10 | 2161191 Freewheelin Franklin

Farage isn't impressed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vd6EC-BJIaI

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:10 | 2161193 Poor Grogman

So long as everyone keeps their eye on the moving numbers and ignores the imploding ponzi scheme for a little longer. Everything will be just fine.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:11 | 2161195 Dr. Engali

I love how they ramp up futures past resistance. It will be interesting to see if it works.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:12 | 2161197 firstdivision

Ireland to bailout Greece
Spain to bailout Portugal
Greece to bailout Itally
Portugal to bailout Ireland
Italy to bailout Spain

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:17 | 2161217 Sandmann

Why doesn't the US simply raise its debt ceiling by another $4 Trillion and give the money to Goldman Sachs to buy all the Euro Debt ? It could put gasoline prices to European levels to fund the deficit and US commentators on these Blogs would feel vindicated

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 13:45 | 2162508 Matt

The Fed could do it, without all that messy public debate and voting and media coverage. The FBRNY could go Long Euro short USD on one side, and then Fed central can print the money to buy all the Euro debt on the other. Gauranteed win.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:12 | 2161198 satan2liberals

We are now taking bets on what today's idiotic 3:45pm rumor will be.

Record 10 trillion in bailout funds to be distributed via the interplantary bailout fund courtesy of UrANUS cosigned by

little timmy and obama.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:13 | 2161202 adr

The question is, who is getting rich off front running these rumors? Also, will Apple shares drop $200 when the company doesn't anounce a dividend or stock split? The market has priced in nothing short of a 3 for 1 split and a $12 dividend per share. The Bullshit market today makes 1999 and 2007 look like the pinnacle of sanity.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:29 | 2161270 disabledvet

hopefully there never is a stock split. let that thing rise to 100,000 a share just as Berkshire Hathaway has done over the past 40 years. "This is a solution to the worthlessness of money." A very good one as well i might add. I love listening to Maria B talk about "anemic volume"...as is done here i might add. Well..."go ahead...make a market in Berkshire Hathaway stock!" Let me guess:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOU1jDcWM2w&feature=player_detailpage

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:13 | 2161204 AC_Doctor

Let the bums out!

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:15 | 2161211 Sandmann

Karl Lammers President of the Bundestag wants to know where the documents are that MPs are supposed to read before the Vote on 27 February ! It is amazing how Deomcracy and Accountability are receding like the tide - first in the Southern Periphery of Europe and now in the German Bundestag with Merkel expecting a Vote on 27 February without giving parliamentarians the facts of the matter they are supposed to vote on. This is real Communist functionary politics

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:16 | 2161213 Dick Darlington

And now this:

EURO ZONE FINANCE OFFICIALS CONSIDERING PROPOSAL TO DELAY ALL OR PART OF GREEK BAILOUT YET STILL AVOID DEFAULT-EU SOURCE

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:22 | 2161246 valley chick

Craziest one yet!

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:29 | 2161223 Dead Canary

I'm getting tired EURO: "WHY WON'T YOU DIE!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Wx4AzUlaSg

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:20 | 2161226 Curtis LeMay

SCHAUBLE: SO FAR THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS FROM GREECE ARE NOT PRESENT

I went to grade school too, herr Schauble. Wha happin? Did the dog eat Papademos's homework?

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:33 | 2161282 Blkhat117

Oh no its going to collapse! wait its saved. but Greece is holding a reforendum, oh shit its going to fallapart! wait whats that you say? no reforedum? its saved! THANK GOD! oh fuck Itailian bond yelds are above 7% the EU is doomed oh hold on the ECB stepped in and bought the bonds its saved and still the EU basketcase continues.....

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 10:29 | 2161502 StychoKiller

I think yer getting the hang of it now, but ya gotta experience the panic attacks and euphoric highs too, for the full effect! :>D

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 14:59 | 2162838 LiveWire

And the souplines..... don't forget the increased suicide rate. almost as bad as a Chinese iPad factoy.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:36 | 2161300 blindman

everything is priced in
except the cost

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 09:45 | 2161335 justsayin2u

Bernanke to buy all greek debt at no discount.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 10:00 | 2161392 eddiebe

Good Lord, why don't the banksters just order a nuke hit on Greece and get it over with.

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 11:01 | 2161658 Money 4 Nothing

15:45 EST. Breaking News! We have now learned that a new meeting has been scheduled for a plan to be inked as early as tommorow. Cue the Unicorns shitting multicoloured skittles.... now! Bullish on everything.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 04:57 | 2188254 sikefeier0728