Set Your Alarm: Germany's Government Spokesman To Make Statement At 7:30 pm Berlin Time, 1:30 pm Eastern

Tyler Durden's picture

Ok, everyone can go on that Starbucks run: the market will be dead for the next hour when German government spokesman Siebert will make an announcement at 7:30 pm. No need for any UK tabloids to even frontrun the lies this time around. That said, we are concerned that the news won't be spinnable in a favorable fashion.

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Irish66's picture

Expect 2.5 hour delay

Unprepared's picture

Sarkozy will name his daughter Angela

Manthong's picture

"we are concerned that the news won't be spinnable in a favorable fashion"

I'm concerned that the news WILL be spinnable in a favorable fashion.

So which official will commit his/her nation to a far, bar better thing than they have ever done before and commit his/her people to a far better demise to go to, than they have ever known?


Clorox Cowboy's picture

Well...all of them of course.  Was that a trick question?

junkyardjack's picture

At 1:25pm Eastern they will release a statement that denies the release that they would make a statement at 1:30

PY-129-20's picture

This is really urgent. They need an expert. A real Pro. Has anyone the current adress of Baghdad Bob?

doomz78's picture

World politics at it's most incompetent.  Just a bunch of chimpanzees eating bananas.  An insult to the primate community actually.  The Chimpanzees have a distinct plan.  They are hungry so they eat. The European political sideshow is a mess with no distinct plan.  Confused.  And structually screwed.  No sense of purpose and unity at all.  And now the bond market is starting to feed on them and the banks are plummmeting.  

This whole thing has been worst then a slow motion car crash.  It's actually like watching a guy in a rubber cell smash his head against a wall over and over again.......    Absolute insanity absolutely. 

Clueless Economist's picture

Susan Sarandon is a NAZI

bania's picture

now is ze time on Sprockets vhen ve dance!

Sokhmate's picture

ze Sprocket danze is zo eazi it'z like shooting fishes in ze barrel.

vote_libertarian_party's picture

"We have a plan to work on a plan that we will announce with no details at some time in the future."


Stocks rocket higher...

junkyardjack's picture

"I just called to say hi. Nothing much going on here, same old same old.  How have things been with you?"

Leopold B. Scotch's picture

When I yawn, people hammer me with negative reviews.

Are you using leverage to naked short your own negative reviews?

slaughterer's picture

Wir sind sehr stolz zu sagen, dass Herr Warren Buffett hat der ESFS ein zusaetzlich Summe von EU400 Milliarden gegeben.  Deutschland ... uh .. ich meine, der EU is gerettet! 

Bernank of America's picture

merkels yielding to not have a solution to EFSF and no progress has been cited, how can he not disappoint? 3 trillion euros? He talked it over with the Bernank for some extra cash?

DormRoom's picture

Germany exits Euro. <fingers crossed>

Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

cant happen on a thursday night.. but we might wish for it for sunday post-summit

DormRoom's picture

My prof says Greece will exit.  I argued that GErmany would exit first.  If I'm right, my prof buys me coffee.

MachoMan's picture

He ought to buy your degree.

Ethics Gradient's picture

Nothing happens in Europe until forced.

There are many steps that has to happen until Germany feels forced.

France, on the other hand.....


Grimbert's picture

Let's hope they give us fair warning so we can spend / exchange any euros we may have whilst they are still worth something.

MachoMan's picture

Don't worry, you'll have plenty of fair warning before the bottom drops out...  just keep waiting.

Mark123's picture

It will likely just be another don't worry be happy announcement.


Move along people...nothing to see here...stock markets are safe.

Clorox Cowboy's picture

Definitely going to be a non-announcement.  Something like:  Merkozy is getting the band back together, but have decided to only release one detail of the rescue plan each month to make the fun last as long as possible.  Then next month it will be once a quarter.  Rinse and repeat.

slaughterer's picture

Ich hole ein Bier (Jever).

Bam_Man's picture

You left out the "bitchezzz" part...

Ahmeexnal's picture

douche marks, the mark of the beast.

Caviar Emptor's picture

Zer iz no brrroblem in ze UroZohn. We haaf spatzle fur everyone

cossack55's picture

Ich liebe Spatzle, juuummmm, spatzle unt krauterbutter.

dermus's picture

Ja aber wart und du wird goldmark essen.

TheLooza's picture

Your problem Tylers, is that you guys don't realize how creative the market can be when it comes to making a delicious melt up sandwich out of shit and french bread.


V in PA's picture

It's almost like they know how to turn shit into gold.

tickhound's picture

The market went Hollywood.  I thought everyone knew.

junkyardjack's picture

Thank goodness, this market is acting like there is a crisis or something.  Finally the government can come in and shed some truth to the masses and calm everyone down...

Cult_of_Reason's picture

It could be about Qaddafi (nothing to do with EFSF). Germany is involved in Libya.

Obama will make a statement at 2 pm too.

SheepDog-One's picture

OLD, old news already. This market moves on 5 second rumors....if its :30 seconds old we're dealing with ancient history.