Set Your Alarm: Germany's Government Spokesman To Make Statement At 7:30 pm Berlin Time, 1:30 pm Eastern

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Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:40 | 1793547 Irish66
Irish66's picture

Expect 2.5 hour delay

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:45 | 1793572 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Sarkozy will name his daughter Angela

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:51 | 1793611 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Pronounced:   un-HELL-ah

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:54 | 1793633 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Or Helen of Greece

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:02 | 1793679 Andrew Jackson ...
Andrew Jackson epitaph's picture

Really it should be Nafissatou    Julia

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:34 | 1793824 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

What?!   Nosferatu ?!!!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:54 | 1793626 Manthong
Manthong's picture

"we are concerned that the news won't be spinnable in a favorable fashion"

I'm concerned that the news WILL be spinnable in a favorable fashion.

So which official will commit his/her nation to a far, bar better thing than they have ever done before and commit his/her people to a far better demise to go to, than they have ever known?


Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:09 | 1793700 Clorox Cowboy
Clorox Cowboy's picture

Well...all of them of course.  Was that a trick question?

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 14:39 | 1794241 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Rhetorical, of course.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:49 | 1793600 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

At 1:25pm Eastern they will release a statement that denies the release that they would make a statement at 1:30

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:50 | 1793607 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture


Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:33 | 1793813 PY-129-20
PY-129-20's picture

This is really urgent. They need an expert. A real Pro. Has anyone the current adress of Baghdad Bob?

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:13 | 1793712 doomz78
doomz78's picture

World politics at it's most incompetent.  Just a bunch of chimpanzees eating bananas.  An insult to the primate community actually.  The Chimpanzees have a distinct plan.  They are hungry so they eat. The European political sideshow is a mess with no distinct plan.  Confused.  And structually screwed.  No sense of purpose and unity at all.  And now the bond market is starting to feed on them and the banks are plummmeting.  

This whole thing has been worst then a slow motion car crash.  It's actually like watching a guy in a rubber cell smash his head against a wall over and over again.......    Absolute insanity absolutely. 

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:41 | 1793549 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

Susan Sarandon is a NAZI

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:46 | 1793578 nyse
nyse's picture

I knew it.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:14 | 1793708 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

She plays evil characters so very well for that reason.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:41 | 1793552 bania
bania's picture

now is ze time on Sprockets vhen ve dance!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:16 | 1793726 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Dance Bitchez, DANCE!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 14:03 | 1794042 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture


Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:51 | 1793967 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

ze Sprocket danze is zo eazi it'z like shooting fishes in ze barrel.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:43 | 1793559 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

"We have a plan to work on a plan that we will announce with no details at some time in the future."


Stocks rocket higher...

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:52 | 1793622 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

"I just called to say hi. Nothing much going on here, same old same old.  How have things been with you?"

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:43 | 1793562 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture


Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:23 | 1793753 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

When I yawn, people hammer me with negative reviews.

Are you using leverage to naked short your own negative reviews?

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:43 | 1793563 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Wir sind sehr stolz zu sagen, dass Herr Warren Buffett hat der ESFS ein zusaetzlich Summe von EU400 Milliarden gegeben.  Deutschland ... uh .. ich meine, der EU is gerettet! 

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:44 | 1793565 Bernank of America
Bernank of America's picture

merkels yielding to not have a solution to EFSF and no progress has been cited, how can he not disappoint? 3 trillion euros? He talked it over with the Bernank for some extra cash?

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:44 | 1793567 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

Germany exits Euro. <fingers crossed>

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:45 | 1793576 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

cant happen on a thursday night.. but we might wish for it for sunday post-summit

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:46 | 1793580 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

My prof says Greece will exit.  I argued that GErmany would exit first.  If I'm right, my prof buys me coffee.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:30 | 1793790 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

He ought to buy your degree.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:51 | 1793612 reload
reload's picture

Why not on a Thursday? If I was a German any day of the week would do.

Having said that - if he was going to make the "It is with much regret" speach, it would have leaked - at least to the extent that Stocks were a bit more copperish today.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:58 | 1793652 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Just because tomorrow is a work-day -- but we would need some HELLUVA party if they announce that. And as Germans we dont just call in sick ;-)

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:00 | 1793670 Clorox Cowboy
Clorox Cowboy's picture

Having said that - if he was going to make the "It is with much regret" speach, it would have leaked

Are you trying to set someone up for a dirty joke or what?

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:47 | 1793589 Ethics Gradient
Ethics Gradient's picture

Nothing happens in Europe until forced.

There are many steps that has to happen until Germany feels forced.

France, on the other hand.....


Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:55 | 1793637 reload
reload's picture

"France on the other hand......."

is fucked either way?

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:19 | 1793737 Grimbert
Grimbert's picture

Let's hope they give us fair warning so we can spend / exchange any euros we may have whilst they are still worth something.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:33 | 1793811 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Don't worry, you'll have plenty of fair warning before the bottom drops out...  just keep waiting.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:44 | 1793568 Mark123
Mark123's picture

It will likely just be another don't worry be happy announcement.


Move along people...nothing to see here...stock markets are safe.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 13:04 | 1793684 Clorox Cowboy
Clorox Cowboy's picture

Definitely going to be a non-announcement.  Something like:  Merkozy is getting the band back together, but have decided to only release one detail of the rescue plan each month to make the fun last as long as possible.  Then next month it will be once a quarter.  Rinse and repeat.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:44 | 1793571 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Ich hole ein Bier (Jever).

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:47 | 1793593 Wolferl
Wolferl's picture

Good choise.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:45 | 1793573 Archimedes
Archimedes's picture
deutsche marks!
Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:47 | 1793586 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

You left out the "bitchezzz" part...

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:55 | 1793641 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

douche marks, the mark of the beast.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:46 | 1793579 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Zer iz no brrroblem in ze UroZohn. We haaf spatzle fur everyone

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:51 | 1793619 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Ich liebe Spatzle, juuummmm, spatzle unt krauterbutter.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:58 | 1793654 dermus
dermus's picture

Ja aber wart und du wird goldmark essen.

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:47 | 1793582 rambler6421
rambler6421's picture

Bank Run Bitchez!

Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:48 | 1793585 TheLooza
TheLooza's picture

Your problem Tylers, is that you guys don't realize how creative the market can be when it comes to making a delicious melt up sandwich out of shit and french bread.


Thu, 10/20/2011 - 12:51 | 1793616 V in PA
V in PA's picture

It's almost like they know how to turn shit into gold.

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