So You Think Today's Columbus Day No Volume Squeeze Is Bad...

Tyler Durden's picture

No, it isn't 2008. It is a pale imitation. At least based on the Columbus Day (yes, bonds were closed then too) rally back in 2008 when the S&P soared by a ginormous 11%. Obviously what happened next was a roughly 40% plunge in stocks over the next several months. Suggesting the same could happen again would be preposterous: after all everyone knows Mars is willing and ready to bail out the world when the time come now that every single central bank is dodecatuple all in on preserving the status quo. Not for nothing, but even Greece recently ran out of ink...

Chart by John Lohman

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Arkaenun's picture

I hear Martians export atmosphere. Should be good for another 15T of untapped bailout funds.

dead hobo's picture

Oh hell no. Teach them how to invest. Then tell them about credit and how to use Martian leverage. Then get them to invest their capital  in a myriad of sure things on Earth using Other Martian's Money (OMM). Don't forget to instruct them about the sanctity of contracts, especially as it relates to their part of the bargain. Then thank them for their business, tell them to come again, and too bad if things didn't work out as expected. But they still have to pay up.

smiler03's picture

I think that you are seriously having too much faith in a chocolate bar.

Smithovsky's picture

October 2008 was scary times

hambone's picture

Fear not, the policy "professionals" are now in charge and have this handled.  Feel free to invest accordingly.

SheepDog-One's picture

LULZ, what can you say? And pretty much everyone is convinced the bottom is in and here we go on a year melt-up fest! Good luck, suckers.

derek_vineyard's picture

I play basketball at 5pm daily with a 'trader' that never has a bad day, has the answer for everything, is loud and overbearing and that i easily dominate (though he doesnt realize it)  because his fundamentals stink.  BTW he drives a 2000 ford taurus w/ mismatched rims.   If he were shorter I'd think it was Cramer.

faustian bargain's picture

After all, Mars is the bringer of war.

BlackholeDivestment's picture

...from London (oh the irony), The Hangee V ( for Vendetta) and the Martian Pyramid Stomp.

GenX Investor's picture

It's gonna be a white knuckler... bitchez.  The momentum is topping out on most indices, with bearish divergence.


TD - What happened after the 1982 Columbus Day?

CvlDobd's picture

What index, what time frame, what momentum indicator? Just want to see for myself thanks.

PicassoInActions's picture

so tomorrow we can short the euro? or should we wait...?

Sequitur's picture

Screw this bullshit. Already sold my SPY puts at a profit before this latest rally. Still holding LNKD and CRM puts, two of the biggest POS cos. on the planet. P/Es of 400+, what a joke this market is.

jdelano's picture

snds like you're in perfect shape to buy some new SPY puts today--you should be in a great mood about this joke market, relax seq, you're gonna crush it....

Sequitur's picture

Well would be nice if you are right. But I don't have any SPY puts, but you got me thinking about picking up some more. Contra indicator is the fact everyone is short the euro . . . . bankers want those funds.

Frankly I am a conservative investor, utility stocks, muni bonds, steady returns. But these goddamn market manipulators, HFTers, frontrunners, and the Fed make it impossible for the average retailer to earn an honest buck.

Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Yeah, conservative investing at this point = some free cash under the mattress and Au buried in your backyard.  Everything else is bullshit.

NotApplicable's picture

I'm sorry, but there is no such thing as a conservative investor who participates in a rigged casino, where the only bets are wild speculation about the nature of the rigging.

A conservative would run far, far away from such theft.

Debtless's picture

I wasn't aware the markets had closed today at 11am.

LRC Fan's picture

"Monday is setting up to be an epic, risk off day"-Tyler Durden, 2 days ago.

Epic ZH fail.
But it's okay...I'm sure there is some excuse out there. "TD doesn't pick market bottoms" or some shit. If not then why the fuck did he post that? EPIC. FAIL.

jdelano's picture

What are you doing here?  Go away:   Follow the link little troll... go on, goooo know you want to.

Dr. Engali's picture

Don't you belong on the yahoo boards? There are plenty of cheer leaders there.

SeverinSlade's picture

So if ZH is so terrible, why are you wasting your time on the website?

smiler03's picture

Its terrible isn't it? Somebody having a contrary opinion. How dare they?

homersimpson's picture

Most folks on ZH knows the difference between a dumb opinion and a contrary opinion. Unfortunately, the guy wrote a dumb comment. What's next - is he's going to say the stock market goes down because of a blue moon?..

That's why people like Robo and Hamy are constantly junked. They spout "contrary" opinions without any substance.

Al Gorerhythm's picture

If someone as sharp as "Tyler" makes a fundamental call about where the market should logically trade and the market performed otherwise, it just goes to show you why trading this bitch is an invitation to disaster. So, what was your call. Did you go long and strong on the fundamentals and did the PEs of the market in general trigger your buy signal?


doomz78's picture

the market rallied on Markel and scarsozy..  whatever the hell those two ass clowns are called.  They wil probably have a sub-par highly contraversial plan to fund the european banks in 3 weeks, or so.  lol   The rallies are insanely optimistic.  Based on a thought.   A fart in the wind.  A sorry european promise.  They are batting 0-35.  They will eventually get a bunt or get on, on an error. 

derek_vineyard's picture

I have no verbal explanation why this market has jumped today (it did not jump in european pre-US session) except that the es futures were pushing hard since last nights asian open for an upward resolution. 

espirit's picture

Courtesy of a dollah dumpster dive by daBoyz.

NotApplicable's picture

"Cash for Trash" never held truer.

hondamikesd's picture

The first place I look when I'm baffled about a market move is EUR/USD. As TD pointed out earlier, 200-300 pips is a pretty massive squeeze...

SheepDog-One's picture

You have no idea? Look at the dollar.

derek_vineyard's picture

i have no explanation for the dollar, either.   my point is that the es futures seemed determined since sundays market open to push upward.   i want to say conspiracy, but i have no proof.   the es tape talks for itself.

HedgeAccordingly's picture

just look at some ladies - . thanks indians for discovery america 

zebra's picture


Martians:"take me to your leader".

Soldier: sorry POTUS is having lunch with his Wall St. buddies.

Martians:"get me a broker and start buying ES."


gatersaw's picture

RON PAUL SIGN BOMB DAY, BITCHES! Find your local sign bomb on facebook and get down there to get your dumb asses educated by some real patriots. 4:30-6:30 local time today. Do something with your useless lives.

dead hobo's picture

ZH postulated:

after all everyone knows Mars is willing and ready to bail out the world when the time comes.


Give a Martian a credit card and unlimited credit and show it how to shop. Then try to collect. The Martians can just walk away in amused confusion or they can use their atomic blasters in a big fuck you. The only difference between Martians and Grecians is they have no atomic blasters.But they can still say fuck you and already have.

Or, give a monkey a credit card and teach it how to shop. Then try to collect. Same result, but without the fuck you. Thanks for the bananas, dipshits.

kaiserhoff's picture

Shit far.  Pork bellies redux.

For those who haven't seen this movie before, this sort of volatility is the kiss of death for almost any market.

Breaker's picture

"...everyone knows Mars is willing and ready to bail out the world when the time come now that every single central bank is dodecatuple all in on preserving the status quo."

But Mars needs women. The price of interplanetary bailout is usually very high.

Zymurguy's picture

Mars women may be few but they are easy.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

not to slewie!

i'm from venus!  all my gf's have been from mars! 

i tell ya, mars has beaucoup gold!  they will send it in freighters and return to mars with nannies & bottled water! 

mrdenis's picture

Green shoots baby ! 

Zymurguy's picture

Hey Tyler!!!

If Anonymous is going to take out the NYSE they better get moving... tick tock tick tock tick tock :)