S&P Says Dexia Failure May Be A Bad Thing

Tyler Durden's picture

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Kitler's picture

Quick! Call 1-800-FED-CASH 

$1T in free fresh BennyBucks could make a difference here... it did for Goldman, JPM and friends!

(A paid commercial endorsement by the KAZI party, Kleptocrats Against Zee Insurrection)

PAPA ROACH's picture

Will the duct tape dispensor please run the phuk out already?

kaiserhoff's picture

Little band-aids, on the patches, on the boxes made of ticky-tacky...

JohnG's picture

And the fiat, in the bonds, all cut down to zero,

And there all made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.

And the countries, in the south, have people in the streets,

And the riot police are fighting and they all look just the same.

And the Germans, they don't like it, and Merkel has had it,

And here come the Deustchemarks, and the Euro goes away.

Comay Mierda's picture

how much do these guys get paid?

no2foreclosures's picture

How much do these guys get laid?

Comay Mierda's picture

I wish S&P could rate my credit

zorba THE GREEK's picture

BAC should unload Countrywide too. In fact, All banks with toxic assets should unload them

into one giant toxic bank and have Goldman Sachs dress up the balance sheet of the new bank

and sell it to the public in an IPO. Just need a catchy name for it.

SheepDog-One's picture

Call that IPO 'IBank'...fucker would be $500 overnite.

Agent P's picture

"Maid Hole"...DSK could be president.

q1w2reader's picture

The International Maid Fucker as CEO of iBank, that's some idea, every bit of toxic waste bad debt and $5T starting capital lent from Ben Badbanke.

Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

No, we'll create an SSI 401K, and IPO the bad bank into the retirement fund, and to the general public. Like GM, without the hassle of creating "products" or value, just margin for underwriters. Call Buffet, we'll sell some preferred stock to bleed the profits, and his name is a solid stamp of opproval for why SSI shouldn't miss this chance of a lifetime. Slap a $5 per month fee for breathing, and a -1% rate for SSI accounts, and we have a business model. Why aren't I working for GS, this is ready for the market, just not mark to market.....

malek's picture

Hehe, just like Siemens did with Infineon!

Divided States of America's picture

Why dont we just put all the worthless toxic junk into a big space shuttle and send it off to the moon. That should put an end to all the bad assets once and for all.

DB Cooper's picture

Maybe we could use a really big rug, with a really big broom.

Mutatto's picture

It'll need a cool logo, something that looks like tit's or even a Va-jay-jay.

We need catchy stock ticker, too.


I think this idea might actually work.



eatthebanksters's picture

call it 'GS Golden Turd LLP lll'?

Pancho Villa's picture

All banks with toxic assets should unload them into one giant toxic bank...

Maybe we could call it 'The Fed'.

riley martini's picture

Freddies Fannie toxic dump fund.

SheepDog-One's picture

'Dexia failure may be bad'...this scurrilous rumor no doubt will soon be laid at the feet of the mysterious' Zerohedge blog'.

slewie the pi-rat's picture

We expect to publish a more detailed analysis of any impact on the credit ratings on Dexia Crédit Local, Dexia Bank S.A., and Dexia Banque Internationale à Luxembourg as soon as permitted to do so under applicable EU law.

Hahaha!  but if you really wanna know? 

Complete ratings information is available to subscribers of RatingsDirect on the Global Credit Portal at www.globalcreditportal.com. All ratings affected by this credit notice can be found on Standard & Poor's public Web site at www.standardandpoors.com.

L0L!!!  the nannies have muzzled S&P, but only "for the time BEing..."

walküre's picture

Bear Stearns convulsions

Lehman puke out

What does this remind you of?

lapedochild's picture

I think this is just a shot before the bow... the apparently can not release yet.. downgrades coming

pods's picture

So a non-functioning bank taken over by a non-functioning government might not be bullish?


Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

There is function in disfunction, could the Gov do any worse? Bring fries......


NotApplicable's picture

What are you talking about? Of course it is bullish, it is bad, after all.

For it to not be bullish, it would have to be... umm...


SheepDog-One's picture

The funny part is all these bankrupt banks are STILL rated A-anything at all! WTF would a C rated bank look like? Heroin shooting den in the lobby?

fuu's picture

Glory holes in the executive washroom.

Greenie's picture

sticking a plunger handle up one's ass also "may be a bad thing"

Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Not if your Barney Frank....... hot plunger to mouth action!

pods's picture

As well as surprise shagging a porcupine.


jmcadg's picture

iBank, love it, with the slogan


iBank ... insolvency you can believe in

tekhneek's picture

Nah, gotta Apple-ize it.

iBank, do you?

We'll get Lebron James and Ashton Kutcher for the first spot, then nothing but hot chicks after that dropping their debit cards and picking them up then turning around, smiling, and popping the question.


TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Nah, gotta Apple-ize it.

iBank, do you?

"iBank - yes, your butthole hurts"


marcusfenix's picture

Ibank- there's a (print) app for that...

Pancho Villa's picture

Dexia S.A. announced yesterday that it is preparing measures to resolve structural problems penalizing its operational activities.

I love that language! Could those 'structural problems' include being out of money because everyone knows that the bank is bankrupt?

clones2's picture

Ibank - "Do you know where your money is at?  No seriously..... do you?"

Silverhog's picture

Love Canal Trust  would work.