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S&P Says Dexia Failure May Be A Bad Thing

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Well, not quite the discovery of aquatic wetness but close enough.

MILAN (Standard & Poor's) Oct. 5, 2011--Franco-Belgian banking group Dexia S.A. announced yesterday that it is preparing measures to resolve structural problems penalizing its operational activities. Standard & Poor's Ratings Services believes that this could have a negative impact on the creditworthiness of Dexia's core banks Dexia Crédit Local, Dexia Bank S.A., and Dexia Banque Internationale à Luxembourg (all rated A/Negative/A-1). We expect to publish a more detailed analysis of any impact on the credit ratings on Dexia Crédit Local, Dexia Bank S.A., and Dexia Banque Internationale à Luxembourg as soon as permitted to do so under applicable EU law.

Complete ratings information is available to subscribers of RatingsDirect on the Global Credit Portal at www.globalcreditportal.com. All ratings affected by this credit notice can be found on Standard & Poor's public Web site at www.standardandpoors.com. Use the Ratings search box located in the left column.  Alternatively, call one of the following Standard & Poor's numbers: Client Support Europe (44) 20-7176-7176; London Press Office (44) 20-7176-3605; Paris (33) 1-4420-6708; Frankfurt (49) 69-33-999-225; Stockholm (46) 8-440-5914; or Moscow 7 (495) 783-4009.

Primary Credit Analyst:    Taos Fudji, Milan (39) 02-72111-276;
taos_fudji@standardandpoors.com

Secondary Contact:    Pierre Gautier, Paris (33) 1-4420-6711;
pierre_gautier@standardandpoors.com

Analytical Group Contact:    Financial Institutions Ratings Europe;
FIG_Europe@standardandpoors.com

 

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Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:06 | 1742096 thetruth
thetruth's picture

really?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:07 | 1742311 Kitler
Kitler's picture

Quick! Call 1-800-FED-CASH 

$1T in free fresh BennyBucks could make a difference here... it did for Goldman, JPM and friends!

(A paid commercial endorsement by the KAZI party, Kleptocrats Against Zee Insurrection)

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:08 | 1742100 PAPA ROACH
PAPA ROACH's picture

Will the duct tape dispensor please run the phuk out already?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:18 | 1742148 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Little band-aids, on the patches, on the boxes made of ticky-tacky...

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:44 | 1742248 JohnG
JohnG's picture

And the fiat, in the bonds, all cut down to zero,

And there all made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.

And the countries, in the south, have people in the streets,

And the riot police are fighting and they all look just the same.

And the Germans, they don't like it, and Merkel has had it,

And here come the Deustchemarks, and the Euro goes away.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:10 | 1742113 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

how much do these guys get paid?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:35 | 1742223 no2foreclosures
no2foreclosures's picture

How much do these guys get laid?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:21 | 1742371 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

I wish S&P could rate my credit

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:12 | 1742121 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

BAC should unload Countrywide too. In fact, All banks with toxic assets should unload them

into one giant toxic bank and have Goldman Sachs dress up the balance sheet of the new bank

and sell it to the public in an IPO. Just need a catchy name for it.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:13 | 1742129 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Call that IPO 'IBank'...fucker would be $500 overnite.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:26 | 1742184 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

"Made Hole".

 

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:34 | 1742221 Agent P
Agent P's picture

"Maid Hole"...DSK could be president.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 17:18 | 1742930 q1w2reader
q1w2reader's picture

The International Maid Fucker as CEO of iBank, that's some idea, every bit of toxic waste bad debt and $5T starting capital lent from Ben Badbanke.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:19 | 1742149 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Bank of Amerika?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:48 | 1742151 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

No, we'll create an SSI 401K, and IPO the bad bank into the retirement fund, and to the general public. Like GM, without the hassle of creating "products" or value, just margin for underwriters. Call Buffet, we'll sell some preferred stock to bleed the profits, and his name is a solid stamp of opproval for why SSI shouldn't miss this chance of a lifetime. Slap a $5 per month fee for breathing, and a -1% rate for SSI accounts, and we have a business model. Why aren't I working for GS, this is ready for the market, just not mark to market.....

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:12 | 1742335 malek
malek's picture

Hehe, just like Siemens did with Infineon!

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:22 | 1742167 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Why dont we just put all the worthless toxic junk into a big space shuttle and send it off to the moon. That should put an end to all the bad assets once and for all.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:43 | 1742252 leftcoastfool
leftcoastfool's picture

There's not a rocket big enough...

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:58 | 1742293 DB Cooper
DB Cooper's picture

Maybe we could use a really big rug, with a really big broom.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:23 | 1742172 Mutatto
Mutatto's picture

It'll need a cool logo, something that looks like tit's or even a Va-jay-jay.

We need catchy stock ticker, too.

 

I think this idea might actually work.

 

 

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:27 | 1742189 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

call it 'GS Golden Turd LLP lll'?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:30 | 1742204 Pancho Villa
Pancho Villa's picture

All banks with toxic assets should unload them into one giant toxic bank...

Maybe we could call it 'The Fed'.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:02 | 1742305 riley martini
riley martini's picture

Freddies Fannie toxic dump fund.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:12 | 1742122 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Dexia failure may be bad'...this scurrilous rumor no doubt will soon be laid at the feet of the mysterious' Zerohedge blog'.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:12 | 1742123 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

We expect to publish a more detailed analysis of any impact on the credit ratings on Dexia Crédit Local, Dexia Bank S.A., and Dexia Banque Internationale à Luxembourg as soon as permitted to do so under applicable EU law.

Hahaha!  but if you really wanna know? 

Complete ratings information is available to subscribers of RatingsDirect on the Global Credit Portal at www.globalcreditportal.com. All ratings affected by this credit notice can be found on Standard & Poor's public Web site at www.standardandpoors.com.

L0L!!!  the nannies have muzzled S&P, but only "for the time BEing..."

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:13 | 1742124 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

oh darn!

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:14 | 1742130 walküre
walküre's picture

Bear Stearns convulsions

Lehman puke out

What does this remind you of?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:14 | 1742131 lapedochild
lapedochild's picture

I think this is just a shot before the bow... the apparently can not release yet.. downgrades coming

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:19 | 1742150 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

...only after the closing bell in Friday.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:20 | 1742158 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

What year?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:16 | 1742139 pods
pods's picture

So a non-functioning bank taken over by a non-functioning government might not be bullish?

pods

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:21 | 1742165 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

There is function in disfunction, could the Gov do any worse? Bring fries......

 

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:01 | 1742301 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

What are you talking about? Of course it is bullish, it is bad, after all.

For it to not be bullish, it would have to be... umm...

nonexistent?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:18 | 1742145 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The funny part is all these bankrupt banks are STILL rated A-anything at all! WTF would a C rated bank look like? Heroin shooting den in the lobby?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:33 | 1742214 fuu
fuu's picture

Glory holes in the executive washroom.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:04 | 1742313 nyse
nyse's picture

Gay.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:18 | 1742146 Greenie
Greenie's picture

sticking a plunger handle up one's ass also "may be a bad thing"

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:24 | 1742176 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Not if your Barney Frank....... hot plunger to mouth action!

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:26 | 1742183 pods
pods's picture

As well as surprise shagging a porcupine.

pods 

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:19 | 1742152 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Sherrrrrlocks!

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:19 | 1742155 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

10-05 14:12: Belgium government says reiterates aim to support activities of Dexia...

 

Belgium what? Hahahaa, just priceless...

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:20 | 1742157 Strom
Strom's picture

Shocking!!

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:24 | 1742175 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

iBank, love it, with the slogan

 

iBank ... insolvency you can believe in

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:32 | 1742209 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

Nah, gotta Apple-ize it.

iBank, do you?

We'll get Lebron James and Ashton Kutcher for the first spot, then nothing but hot chicks after that dropping their debit cards and picking them up then turning around, smiling, and popping the question.

 

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:12 | 1742336 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Nah, gotta Apple-ize it.

iBank, do you?

"iBank - yes, your butthole hurts"

 

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:31 | 1742207 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

Ibank- there's a (print) app for that...

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:36 | 1742225 Pancho Villa
Pancho Villa's picture

Dexia S.A. announced yesterday that it is preparing measures to resolve structural problems penalizing its operational activities.

I love that language! Could those 'structural problems' include being out of money because everyone knows that the bank is bankrupt?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:38 | 1742233 clones2
clones2's picture

Ibank - "Do you know where your money is at?  No seriously..... do you?"

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:38 | 1742234 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

Love Canal Trust  would work.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:47 | 1742268 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Y'all are a bunch of preverts;)

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:39 | 1742238 Volaille de Bresse
Volaille de Bresse's picture

What shall we do? Email them with threats of performing anal rape of them? They would like it! 

 

Pierre Gautier... what a crap name (sounds like my mailman)!

 

"Gauthier de St. Lambert" now THAT'd be a name for a S&P employee. A name that **really** screams for anal rape! (without lube)

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:41 | 1742246 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

Out of cash is bad? Do yaaaaa think??

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:46 | 1742262 Mountainview
Mountainview's picture

And they passed the stress test with AAA...

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:47 | 1742265 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture

Well, we have Durbin trying to create an American Dexia situation.

 

http://cnsnews.com/news/article/durbin-senate-floor-get-heck-out-bank

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:35 | 1742428 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

If Durbin is mad at BofA for their $5 rate hike, what does he think of Citibanks $20 rate hike?

Citi announces new fees on checking accounts - Oct. 4, 2011

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 14:58 | 1742294 oogs66
oogs66's picture

Isn't that the same rating as Italy?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:04 | 1742304 Chaffinch
Chaffinch's picture

How's BAC doing today - still struggling to keep its website up and running?

(And what's BAC's rating, by the way? Or is Uncle Warren looking after that for them...?)

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:05 | 1742315 monopoly
monopoly's picture

I....just....do....not.....understand all this. Where is Obama?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:07 | 1742323 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Just like Greece, if they had a solution it would already be announced.

Are things about to go...BOOM? Or would that be CRASH?

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:09 | 1742330 Ellesmere
Ellesmere's picture

I wonder if they realize that all this market manipulation is going to completely sap any remaining credibility in the system.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:17 | 1742354 strangeglove
strangeglove's picture

Damn Terrorists

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:18 | 1742359 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Screw Dexia, it's time for a bunga bunga party!!

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:26 | 1742391 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture
"IMF Says Dexia Failure May Be A Good Thing"

in 3...2...1...

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:31 | 1742414 faustian bargain
faustian bargain's picture

Good, bad...it's all so confusing.

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:42 | 1742452 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Well, not quite the discovery of aquatic wetness but close enough.

LMAO!!!

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:46 | 1742477 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

But they passed the stress test!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6_1Pw1xm9U

Wed, 10/05/2011 - 15:51 | 1742510 falak pema
falak pema's picture

If one could predict the sequence in which banks will fall next and when, one could get rich like Cressus; I wish I had access to that crystal ball. We all know it will come, but who first and who next etc. and when, when when...oh, if only I were in ten little niggers by Agatha Christie...I can't help it if her book had this racist title...it has aged...not the book but the title.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 01:53 | 1744387 Peter K
Peter K's picture

News of nationalization sent share rallying 10%? Happy days for shareholders! It must be a Fench thing:)

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 05:57 | 1744562 Archduke
Archduke's picture

add systemic risk with respect to RBC Dexia Investor Services, a global custodian for funds...

Wed, 10/12/2011 - 11:36 | 1765918 karmete
karmete's picture

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