Spam Saves The Day

Tyler Durden's picture

Spam may or may not be a better investment than gold (tip: it isn't, and only those for whom the only solution to a record debt crisis is more debt can claim otherwise), but some things are certain: it is edible, it is cheap and it can be stored indefinitely. Which just happens to be great news for Spam maker Hormel, as these three qualities are precisely what saved its quarter. Per AP, strong sales of Spam and Jennie-O products helped Hormel Foods' net income rise in its fiscal third quarter. The meat producer's revenue came in just above Wall Street expectations.


Hormel Foods Corp. said Thursday that it earned $111.2 million, or 41 cents per share, for the quarter. That's up 13 percent from $98.5 million, or 36 cents per share, during the same period a year earlier.


The performance met the expectations of analysts surveyed by FactSet.


Revenue for the period ended July 29 increased 5 percent to $2.01 billion from $1.91 billion, led by sales of Spam. This was slightly higher than the $2 billion that Wall Street forecast.


Revenue improved across all segments except refrigerated foods, which posted a slight decline.


The Jennie-O Turkey Store unit, which makes up 18 percent of the company's revenue, reported a 7 percent increase in its sales thanks to better sales of its fresh tray pack products and turkey burgers. Sales for the grocery products division rose 21 percent due to higher Spam sales and its MegaMex Foods joint venture. The segment, which makes up 15 percent of total sales, was also helped by sales of Don Miguel products.


The majority of Hormel's sales, 52 percent, come from the refrigerated foods unit. It reported flat sales for the quarter.

Bottom line: first we learned that the uber-wealthy US consumer is tapped out thanks to BID, which also happens the be a great market barometer, then we learn that the aspirational one is dying courtesy of BIG, and now SPAM proves that with demand for the no-frills edible soaring, Americans are hunkering down to basics. Which, for an economy that is 70% reliant on consumption, is hardly good news. Luckily the market, which has given up even trying to pretend it reacts to the economy, only cares about one thing: what will the Chairsatan do next.

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fourchan's picture

the sign of the end, parabolic spam sales.

AlphaDawg's picture

Spam for the rich, dog food for the poor.

Long Bakers

NotApplicable's picture

Affordable protien for the masses!

Better yet, it's fairly durable, so it can act as a store of wealth over time while insuring against starvation.

Joe Sixpack may have an alternative to the dollar, after all.

AldousHuxley's picture

how much was due to military buying?

TruthInSunshine's picture

Friendly reminder:


Soylent Green is set to IPO on October 31st. 


Announcer: Governor Santini is brought to you today by Soylent Red, and Soylent Yellow. And, new, delicious, Soylent Green: The "miracle food" of high energy plankton, gathered from the oceans of the world. Due to its enormous popularity, Soylent Green is in short supply, so remember—Tuesday is Soylent Green day.


Det. Thorn: Hatcher, get to the Exchange. You gotta tell them they're right.
Hatcher: But let's take care of you first.
Det. Thorn: You don't understand. I've got proof. They need proof, I've seen it. I've seen it happening. They've gotta tell people.
Hatcher: Tell them what?
Det. Thorn: The ocean's dying. Plankton's dying. It's people. Soylent Green is made out of people. They're making our food out of people. Next thing, they'll be breeding us like cattle for food. You've gotta tell them. You've gotta tell them!
Hatcher: I promise. Tiger. I promise. I'll tell the Exchange.
Det. Thorn: You tell everybody. Listen to me. Hatcher. You've gotta tell 'em! SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE! We gotta stop them! Somehow! Listen! Listen to me… PLEASE!!!
Juan Wild's picture

Bloomberg-Apple News Network:
"This editon of the morning exchange report brought to you by Soylent red and Soylent yellow, high energy vegetable concentrates, and new, delicious, Soylent green. The miracle food of high-energy plankton gathered from the oceans of the world."

TruthInSunshine's picture


You have a career on Madison Avenue, my friend.  Big Pharma & Big Finance will be fighting over you. You just need to throw in a reference aimed at moms, such as "I feel great feeding my children Soylent Green because I know it's made from the best stuff on earth," and you're golden.

DaveyJones's picture

SPAM: We Not Only Save the Day, We Define It.

NotApplicable's picture

Memo to self, spell-check is your freind.

The Big Ching-aso's picture



Eat too much of it and you'll start looking Hawaiian.

Juan Wild's picture

if this keeps up:
SPAM for the haughty Goldmanites and
Soylent Green for us.
Eventually Rothschild will be eating SPAM while pauper Goldmanites will be killing each other for Soylent Green (which by then will be made of central bank heads,presidents, congressmen and DHS agents and yup, all those assinine talking heads of MSM.)
What happens when the SPAM runs out at the Rothschild mansion? hmmm??

battle axe's picture

Good going economic devastation, you saved Hormel. Now if we can just get that Israeli/Iran war going, then the numbers will really pop. /sarc

youngman's picture

Its in my SHTF stash......and the have different flavors now.....

malikai's picture

Spam fried rice! Something I think every marine who'se ever been stationed at Pearl knows..

Hype Alert's picture

You can't beat a fried Spam and egg sandwich with cheese.

SemperFord's picture

Yup, Hawaiians love that stuff

Doubleguns's picture

1969 two week summer scout camp in Oahu. We had spam for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yes they love it. I consider it survival food only. I managed to survive that two weeks but it was rough and got rougher after about 3 days of spam.

Whalley World's picture

I was in Oahu in February and they had a large street festival where every food vendor was selling some form of Spam.

I thought it was a joke but when I said so, nobody was laughing, they take their Spam seriously over there

Agent P's picture

Two words: Spam musubi

akak's picture

Two words: diarrhea, vomiting

Agent P's picture

Ahh, come on!  I know from previous discussions you've got ties to Hawaii.  Do you really not like Spam musubi?  Pan fried spam in teriyaki sauce with a little extra sauce on the  The only thing better is Portuguese sausage musubi (not as common, but really fucking good).

akak's picture

LOL, Agent P!

Yes, I could not resist tweaking your Spam funny-bone. 

But in all honesty, I do despise the stuff, and have since my mother forced it on us (very rarely, fortunately) as kids.  I can still remember the salty greasiness, the offensive barnyard filthy-piggish odor, the unnatural texture --- YECH!!

You know, I liked pretty much all the food in Hawaii (even seeking out and cooking breadfruit and taro leaves myself), but I managed to politely avoid eating Spam every time I found myself in the room with it.

And on that note, some Spam haikus ("Spamkus"), just for you:

SPAM--Jews won't touch it.
Muslims proclaim it unclean.
Wisdom of the East.

Eating SPAM is like
Having two tongues in your mouth,
And swallowing one.

I stare, it stares back.
I long to know its feelings.
It demurs. Lunch, then.

"Slow down," she whispered,
now guiding my trembling hands,
"Turn the key slowly."

Perfection uncanned
Like a beautiful redhead
Fresh from her trailer

I have some SPAM wine
A nineteen-ninety vintage
It's still quite lumpy

Tastes like ham, sorta
But clogs up my aorta
Pig rigor morta

Myrrh, frankincense, and
SPAM: the gifts of two wise men
and one complete fool.

My Jewish girlfriend
naked, handcuffed, blindfolded,
doesn't know it's SPAM.

Is leftover SPAM
worth keeping another day?
Only the cat knows.

Waxed my car with SPAM:
the finish gleams, water beads
hungry dogs chase it


DaveyJones's picture

"I can still remember the salty greasiness, the offensive barnyard filthy-piggish odor, the unnatural texture --- YECH!!"

yeah, I remember my first visit to DC 

SAT 800's picture

Spam Saimin! Yum. Kau Food!

Agent P's picture

I remember going to Hawaii Islander games at Aloha stadium as a kid and getting S&S saimin...three strips of spam and a pink & white fishcake on top of the noodles...mmmm, yummy yummy!

Dr Benway's picture

I got friends from the Phillipines that love the stuff too


I guess it has the key ingredients that make things tasty, its full of fat and salty as all fuck

malikai's picture

I'm sorry. What is "The Market", again?

Stoploss's picture

Where you go to exchange your PM's for whatever your little heart desires.

El Hosel's picture

The "rope a dope" market, Timmy and the boys lean against the ropes and let the bears punch themselves out for most of the session only to come off the ropes with a late flury of combination buy orders. The judges are impressed, until they aren'nt.

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

You can make a case for storing some Spam as part of your preparations, but, I will put more money into gold, silver, and guns & ammo.

WATER production capability appears to be the most important of the TEOTWAWKI preps...

youngman's picture

the two week survival mode is what the spam is for..the 2 year survival mode is where the gold and silver will...might keep you alive...guns and attitude will be important too

dwdollar's picture

I know the stock market is now completely decoupled from the real economy, but it's still amazing to watch.

tocointhephrase's picture

Pink Slime....that is all

akak's picture

And every one of those execrable Jennie-0 (pressed turkey by-products) products is a piece of absolute shit --- worse than Spam by far, in my opinion.  Who even buys or, worse yet, eats any of that crap?

johnQpublic's picture

my thoughts exactly

calling them a "meat producer" is a bit of a misnomer

zapdude's picture

I used to eat the turkey-loaf in a pan with the brown gravy and liked it as a kid. 

Later I realized there is no turkey meat that naturally comes out looking like a rectangular brick with air bubbles in the center.  The gravy was needed to cover up the frankenmeat mixture you're eating.

I envision a huge vat of gelatinous turkey meat swill (butts, beaks, feet, floor sweepings) being mechanically stirred and then poured into 4x9 aluminum pans... 

Jenni-O Turkey Loaf -- official dinner meal of the Trailer Park!

ptoemmes's picture

SPAM: A hedonic quality adjuster for the BLS CPI.  SPAM: When you just cannot afford to buy real meat anymore.

malikai's picture

Which begs the question: What, exactly, *is* spam?

NotApplicable's picture

Lips and assholes. (like DC)

akak's picture

But you can't eat it!

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Chinese citizenism roadside in a can.

akak's picture

And they make a dogmeat-derived version for the Chinese market as well: SPOG.


(Which is actually better than the vegetarian version made for the North American market in the early 1980s that was made from pressed wheat germ --- but who wanted to buy SPERM?)