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Start Of The Zombie Apocalypse Caught On Tape
For those who missed it, the weekend's most morbid, and harbingery, story was the official launch of the zombie apocalypse.
Per the Miami Herald:
It was a scene as creepy as a Hannibal Lecter movie.
One man was shot to death by Miami police, and another man is fighting for his life after he was attacked, and his face allegedly half eaten, by a naked man on the MacArthur Causeway off ramp Saturday, police said.
The horror began about 2 p.m. when a series of gunshots were heard on the ramp, which is along NE 13th Street, just south of The Miami Herald building.
According to police sources, a road ranger saw a naked man chewing on another man’s face and shouted on his loud speaker for him to back away.Meanwhile, a woman also saw the incident and flagged down a police officer who was in the area.
The officer, who has not been identified, approached and, seeing what was happening, also ordered the naked man to back away. When he continued the assault, the officer shot him, police sources said. The attacker failed to stop after being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.
Miami police were on the scene, which was just south of The Miami Herald building on Biscayne Boulevard. The naked man who was killed lay face down on the pedestrian walkway just below the newspaper’s two-story parking garage. Police have requested The Herald’s video surveillance tapes.
The other man was transported to the hospital with critical injuries, according to police. Their identities were not released.
The CCTV camera caught it all.
And to think people made fun of us when, again just slightly ahead of the curve, we gave readers advice on surviving the Zombie Apocalypse:
Map Of The Dead: How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse
On a long enough timeline... the zombies will arise, and exhibit a sudden craving for brain stew. So what is a person who will have survived the great central bank collapse to do? Full interactive map for any specific location in the US can be found at http://www.mapofthedead.com
US Danger Zones...
And for our friends at the New York Fed...
»
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Might be the only way ordinary slubs like use can get our d!ck in her mouth though...there are worse ways to die!
Note to self...do NOT eat p%ssy with the Miami PD around.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VSzEEbZJPo
Just in case you need the appropriate ammo.
White cops did the shooting? Black Zombie was killed?
Wascism! Wascism! Wascism!
it's a good thing there was a live victim and camera footage, or that police officer would be in deep doo-doo.
Right on! Cops knock off 1 gay obamazombie voter!
Lock and load. This is spreading fast.
obamazombies go for the ebt card and your wallet first, so watch your ass (especially if it's a gay zombie).
They are both naked.
WTF?!?
Clearly a PCP/Crack Ninja. Felt a little nostalgic for Jax Memorial between Overtown and Liberty City. That's why God invented hollow points.
I think many are missing the bigger picture here: Crockett and Tubbs are on the case and pastel is making a comeback!
Another sure sign of the Apocalypse... The Three Zoomigos. True story (almost).
A man, a Zebra, and a Parrot were pulled over in a car outside a bar in Iowa. The parrot was taken away in handcuffs for not having a license and for driving erratically.
Actual Police Report: A man, a zebra and a parrot walked into a bar. The bartender went up to the Zebra and asked him, "What'll ya have?" The parrot then apparently told the bartender, "You idiot, what the fuck you asking the Zebra for? Everybody knows Zebras can't talk, so clearly I'm the brains of this outfit!"
The situtation quickly escalated, an altercation ensued, the parrot was refused service and was told to leave immediately with his friends. They were last seen squealing out of the parking lot at a high rate of speed before being pulled over 5 miles away with the car straddling the center line of the highway.
Police Chief, Seymour Chit, statement: "We've seen a recent spike in these type of incidences, they are on the rise. The public should be very cautious of any animal that appears overly friendly when they approach you. It may just be a ploy to gain your confidence. Always demand to see a valid driver license for ID, and never, ever, buy one a drink."
More on the story, photos:
Police Arrest Iowa Man Driving With a Zebra, Parrot in His Car ...
Man drives to bar with a zebra and parrot in his carPolice Arrest Iowa Man Driving With a Zebra, Parrot in His Car ...
The Dog House Lounge. Why wouldn't you take your zebra and parrot to drink with you there?
Wow. What a great weekend to go Traverce City, MI.
I had Bourbon St. And Esplanade in the French Quarter as ground zero.
was he in anyway jewish?
The speaking comments many peoples here are having are sounding like the juvenile speaking of stupids. Many of you would be be having betterment if you were having no speakings than the speakings you are doing.
My sources tell me the police officer and the victim of the chewing were both Asian.
Could the shooting having been a face saving maneuver?
That one needs a rimshot!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phencyclidine#Effects
"The analgesic properties of the drug can cause users to feel less pain, and persist in violent or injurious acts as a result... Symptoms are summarized by the mnemonic device RED DANES: rage, erythema (redness of skin), dilated pupils, delusions, amnesia, nystagmus (oscillation of the eyeball when moving laterally), excitation, and skin dryness."
If by cocaine psychosis they mean "psychosis from cocaine mixed with PCP" then, yeah.
By now, Monday Morning on May 28, 2012, it should be apparent that the United States of America has systematically imploded on itself. If you had thought we were going to pull through this time, now is the time to re-consider your thinking based on naked men eating other naked men in public, Dogs having explosives tied on them and ignited, and more rumors of wars, and lies infiltrating from the British owned news agency called NPR on Syria.
Take your pick. It is SO over America!!
Don't forget the fear-mongering of SS Reichfuhrer "Butch" Napolitano about surgically enhanced bombs.
They could not find anyone at DHS to volunteer, so they had a chick on a plane last week pass a note to a stew that one was implanted in her.
These people are really full of shit if they think we are going to buy that one.
Everyone is on to the government guy suggests to feeble minded guy to blow something up, here's the bomb, you are under arrest thingy.
this just in....Mark Zuckerburg in critical condition at Miami's Jackson Memorial. Pieces of his 'face' were found in the mouth of a gay cannibal who is purportedly a member of a gay cannibal fringe group...
..in other news a Miami area gay cannibal fringe group declared bankruptcy after suffering losses from recent investments in an as-yet-to-be-determined IPO
I don't get why they had to shoot and kill the guy. They had enough police to get the guy off the other one. The other side of this is how the U.S. always seems to think the answer lies in a Bullet or Bomb.
You have never seen the amazing psychotic strength of a manic or the old fashioned term maniac.
When the guy is crazy and naked and seems oblivious they can even lift vehicles though they will dislocate their shoulders but they wont even notice
Whether it is drugs or not. When someone becomes a maniac they cannot be stopped by a single individual or even two or three.
Did you not see that the guy kept chewing on the face even after the first shot?
The victim may die anyway, but in civilized europe the victim would have been certainly dead while the police waited for back up, fearful they might injure the maniac
Ok. I see you guys' points. I only saw when all the cops were there but don't want to go view it again. I trust what you say.
oh great. so you mean i could've watched it instead of reading you're guy's lofty comentary/anlaysis ? ah.... thnx anyway tyler, but nawh.
You didn't see the video?? The cop was there by himself for almost 2 minutes. The backup only arrived long after the shooting. The answer doesn't always lie in a bullet...but when someone is chewing off another person's face - in the buff - on a public byway, diplomacy is passe.
This is true.
No, I saw the video only when all the cops were around.
this is a misunderstanding about the meaning of giving head.
Someone had some T-Virus for lunch.
Dont worry Umbrella is here to help LOL....
Mad scientist at Monsanto: "....and they laughed at my zombie virus! Well.....who's laughing now!? Mwaahaahahaahah!!!"
Crack cocaine from genetically modified, Roundup resistant Montsanto brand Coca plants?
I'm sure this story will go viral and we will get a follow-up with some answers. Hopefully rational, mind-easing answers and not panic-inducing, shoot-every-naked-man-in-public answers.
How far can 2 naked guys walk in Miami before someone notices?
Where were they going,Arbys? joe's stone crab for a mai-tai?
where did they keep their money?
Or was it a case of "Look Larry,a monorail,lets get naked"?
No shoes.....the side walk gets pretty hot in Miami.
Was the cop a Chinese guy and didn't want to lose face in a physical altercation?
People do weird stuff on drugs all day long? but eat face?
How about demonic possesion?
But you can not put the spirit world in a test tube, therefore only imbeciles would believe in such fairy tales, right?
so many questions.
Lt. Columbo Bitchezzz
FACESNACK
O.T but, RED ALERT.........on aisle 7.
Fukushima is here full force.
There goes the Albacore, and Tuna sales............but, they SWEAR its well below dangerous levels.
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_SCI_JAPAN_RADIATION_TUNA?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-05-28-15-48-10
Radioactive Zombies are within the same topic umbrella as naked crackhead zombies, so not off topic at all.
Bath Salts...
All that needs to be said, to close the arguement, is that Zombies should be treated with dignity and respect . All persons (or non persons) with disabilities are entitled to that much.
What if one of those flesh eating zombies were your brother or sister. I think that many of you would have long lasting regrets after that double tap to the brain. Maybe even some deep reflection after that.
Nope,double tap in order,sorry bro,sorry sis.
The zombie proof house! Get yours now
http://all-that-is-interesting.com/post/4956385434/the-first-zombie-proof-house
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation+9%3A6&version=KJV
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EDL6IaAHk0
Babylon is fallen.
http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2012/05/30/miamis-naked-zombie-prove...
Excerpt:
Saturday night's "naked zombie" cannibal attack in Miami shocked the nation, but it's not the first time a seemingly uncontrollable incident has been attributed to a drug known as "bath salts."
Far from making your luxurious soak more pleasant, bath salts is the street name for a drug containing synthetic stimulants such as mephedrone or methylenedioxypyrovalerone (MDPV). It has no relation to "actual" bath salts. The drug can be snorted, injected, or swallowed. According to the Drug Enforcement Agency, bath salts have similar effects to amphetamines, cocaine, and LSD. High dosages can cause panic attacks and hallucinations.