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State Of Emergency Issued For New Jersey, Voluntary Evacuations For Jersey Shore

Tyler Durden's picture


And so the Irene-induced state of emergency pronouncements start trickling in. First, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie signed a state of emergency order and urged people at the Jersey Shore to leave voluntarily by mid-day tomorrow as Hurricane Irene approaches the Northeast. The governor, in a briefing with reporters, said he was considering a mandatory evacuation of the Jersey Shore area. Following this news is the announcement by the US coast guard which issued a hurricane alert for Long Island sound. But the biggest losers? Insurance companies: both Chubb and Allstate CDS have spiked on expectations this hurricane could be a doozy in claim terms (although we urge readers to check their hurricane insurance: many times the deductible is far higher if the damage is caused by a Hurricane than a Tropical Storm: alas, this may be a saving grace for some insurance cos). What would be amusing is if the biggest loser out of today, now that BAC is threatening to close read for the day, is Berkshire's insurance empire.


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Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:16 | 1600354 lolmao500
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Hurricane upgraded to Category Snooki! If you get caught in it, you'll have STDs.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:39 | 1600505 espirit
espirit's picture

Maybe the cast and crew will stay, filming a reality "hurricane party".

Me? I'm praying for a Cat 5.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:53 | 1600557 Pegasus Muse
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Christie: "There will be no fracking during this hurricane, dammit."


Well, hell, there goes NJ's biggest revenue generator .... Jersey Shore --- cancelled!!

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 14:28 | 1600837 John Rotten
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Me? I'm praying for a Cat 5.


Yeah, you and Krugman.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 17:32 | 1601738 TheFourthStooge-ing
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Me? I'm praying for a Cat 5.

Come on Irene...


Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:17 | 1600359 HelluvaEngineer
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If the Jersey shore gets destroyed, will anyone be able to tell?

"Odd, more hypodermic needles than usual."

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:18 | 1600370 Eagle Keeper
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Will anyone care???  (armpit)

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:58 | 1600618 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Kramic Retribution for SITUATION! And the rest of the JS Gang. The pits of TV, which is the pinnacle of social engineering AND a great barometer for social evolution.

I'd suggest a quick relocation to New Mexico. 


Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:17 | 1600365 Eagle Keeper
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Oh hell, here comes another Rita fiasco. Evac caused far more damage than tha storm. Will they never learn!

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:35 | 1600486 fyrebird
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Either way, it's bullish for the economy. They are practically duty-bound to panic. /sarc

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 15:17 | 1601087 Idiot Savant
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What's often forgotten about the Rita evacuation is that if the storm would have hit Houston, most of the evacuees would have been sitting in their cars on the highway. Every gas station in Houston was drained and those of us at home were called to volunteer to take water to the people stuck on the highways. I sure hope these govenors have extra shipments of gasoline on hand. If not, a lot of evacuees will enjoy the storm in their automobile, sans water, food, and fuel. Gridlock, bitchez!

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:18 | 1600373 Irish66
Irish66's picture

Stay out of pennsylvania

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:39 | 1600506 centerline
centerline's picture

Thats good advice for any time!  Ha, ha, ha.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:54 | 1600595 Josey Montana
Josey Montana's picture

Glad you're saving me perfectly good 00 buckshot I won't have to shove up your ass  :-)

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 14:36 | 1600885 centerline
centerline's picture

I was born there, so I reserve rights to make fun of it!  LOL.  Dont even get me started on the Florida hell hole I am in now.  Ha, ha.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 16:50 | 1601543 Josey Montana
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Haha.  I get it.  Born in Philly courtesy of the US Navy who thought mom's dad and my dad would enjoy the experience.  I guess they did as they borth married lcoal girls and hung around a while.  Moved out - fled? -- in the Sixties.  Came back after b-school but enjoy life in Chesco or visiting the old homestead upstate/Poconos area much more.  Still, for all the cities and places I've traveled, I like it just fine.  Great place to raise the kids.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 17:54 | 1601805 TheFourthStooge-ing
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Great place to raise the kids.

Centerville - a real nice place to raise your kids up.


Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:40 | 1600515 KingdomKum
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Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:19 | 1600376 Cognitive Dissonance
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Re: Banzai7 on Twitter.

New Jersey Governor declares Jersey Shore a TV disaster.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:20 | 1600380 Mercury
Mercury's picture

OMG....gym, tan or laundry first?

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:22 | 1600392 AbandonShip
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At least The Situation is under control

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:27 | 1600408 Mercury
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Actually the bigger (potential) insurance story here is the possibility of massive claims being made against state supported (and underpriced) policies on coastal properties in places like FL and NC.


That government Franken-chicken WILL come home to roost one day...

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:20 | 1600383 Sow-puncher
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I've got an eagle farm in New Jersey... What should I do now??

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:32 | 1600465 Dick Darlington
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If Your eagles are golden and buried into your backyard, You can sit on the couch and open another beer with a smile. ;-)

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:21 | 1600389 chistletoe
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Far and away the most damage occurs with the storm surge on the EASTERN side of the eye.


We're talking Easthampton here, not Hoboken ....

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 17:30 | 1601730 TheFourthStooge-ing
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Far and away the most damage occurs with the storm surge on the EASTERN side of the eye.

We're talking Easthampton here, not Hoboken ....

Look at it this way: if it razes the Hamptons like the world's biggest belt sander, it'll save the effort of having to burn it all down.


Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:21 | 1600391 reader2010
reader2010's picture

Narcissist Pual Krugman is praying for massive population death and property destructions right now in his Jersey home.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:28 | 1600425 CrashisOptimistic
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He's wasting his time.

If he wants to pray for something, he needs to pray for another Ghawar field, only in Arkansas.

Brent is approaching $111 and the spread is back to $26.  Libya was never enough to matter.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:23 | 1600397 dick cheneys ghost
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Snooki is on top of the situation............

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:37 | 1600494 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

Yeah, literally.

I always get my Facebook friend's feed Thursdays where every other status is "Thursday bitchez" 'bitchez', bitchez bitchez  bitchez. Guidettes, bitchez!

America no doubt began its steep secular decline when MTV became a non-music channel

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 17:20 | 1601683 TheFourthStooge-ing
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America no doubt began its steep secular decline when MTV became a non-music channel

Beavis & Butthead was the only show on MTV that I ever found worth watching. It was genuinely funny for those who could appreciate it (i.e., those who laughed at Beavis & Butthead).

Regrettably, I'm afraid the show's humor was a bit too cerebral for a significant portion of the viewers. This group laughed with Beavis & Butthead because they couldn't comprehend that the characters' stupidity was the focus of the humor. In other words, instead of seeing B&B as a couple of dumbass kids, they saw them as peers.


Thu, 08/25/2011 - 17:31 | 1601721 baby_BLYTHE
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They are coming back, the series was revived!

New Episodes begin October 27 this year.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 17:35 | 1601752 caerus
caerus's picture

are you threatening me?!

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 17:42 | 1601765 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Thanks for the tip! I guess today turned out alright after all.

BTW, how goes the economics class? Are your classmates and instructor still trying to fit things into their ridiculous cling-to-paper-promises worldview?


Thu, 08/25/2011 - 22:44 | 1602675 SylphGlitch
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Too true, most people never really got B&B.  Though Daria was a good spinoff of B&B, just recently out on DVD.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:24 | 1600400 PulauHantu29
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Maybe there is a God....a Wrathful God at that!

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:56 | 1600608 Josey Montana
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If Manhattan were washed out to sea .. along with North Jersey and SE Connecticut, would it be an ecological disaster or ... a wash?

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 17:25 | 1601706 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

If Manhattan were washed out to sea .. along with North Jersey and SE Connecticut, would it be an ecological disaster or ... a wash?

It's an ecological disaster in its current form. Sweeping it all out to sea can only be an improvement.


Thu, 08/25/2011 - 16:13 | 1601377 toady
toady's picture


First he takes out the chuch where they were going to have the party, now he is going to rain on his parade!

Allah Akbar!

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:26 | 1600415 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture It's a disaster medley ...Bitchez.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:28 | 1600424 youngman
youngman's picture

I bet the Flash mobs are warming up...

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:29 | 1600433 WarPig
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It is interesting that this massive natural disaster is coinciding perfectly with THE BERNANKE's big announcement in Jacksum Pole.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:29 | 1600438 centerline
centerline's picture

I am sure some folks in Miami are already filing FEMA claims. LOL.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:30 | 1600445 JohnFrodo
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Trump is worried his hair will be blown away

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:31 | 1600446 Infinite QE
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Could be a setback for Hopey's golf plans

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:36 | 1600489 Catullus
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Expect the entire eastern seaboard to follow suit in the next 6 hours. No one wants to be the odd man out. Hope people in delaware got out now that new jersey just packed the roads. Good luck, y'all. The traffic isn't going to get any better by being a dick about it.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:37 | 1600493 Gold Man-Sacks
Gold Man-Sacks's picture

God save Snooki.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:46 | 1600516 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

Here's to hoping Snookie and the rest of the idiots on that nothing show don't heed that order.  Perhaps some actual reality in their 'reality' show for ONCE?

Well while not a tornado, I guess someone has to replace the wicked witch of the east that Dorothy landed on.   I guess Ms. Wylde of the NY fed was not available, she was too busy making sure homes were crushing OTHER people.


Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:47 | 1600549 mynhair
mynhair's picture

They're all gonna die!  Head for the hills, and watch out for rolling earthquakes!

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:52 | 1600576 Debtless
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Quick everyone hide in Snookie's vag. You'll all be safe in there. Just don't touch anything.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:54 | 1600589 Henry Chinaski
Henry Chinaski's picture

Homeowners insurance will never be the same.  After the 2004 storms hit Florida, rates went crazy and many large insurers left the state.  If a large part of the NE Atlantic coast gets whacked by Irene, it is going to be another setback for home ownership and the residential markets. It will cancel out whatever refi/principle reduction schemes that the president has up his sleeve. 

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:55 | 1600600 randocalrissian
randocalrissian's picture

Good thing my gold bullion wall is hurricane-proof.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 14:04 | 1600654 UGrev
UGrev's picture

Someone tell snookie to stay.. 

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 16:15 | 1601391 Steaming_Wookie_Doo
Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

Lord, could you imagine losing GS and Snooki on the same weekend!?! Big up day for the foreign markets on that news.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 22:49 | 1602686 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Snookies poof would get puffed and the situlation will finally get blown. 

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 14:05 | 1600665 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Is this because of the hurricane or is Corzine back?

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 14:26 | 1600825 IMA5U
IMA5U's picture

i hope the hurricane blows away Snookie

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 14:40 | 1600910 surfersd
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Thu, 08/25/2011 - 14:40 | 1600911 surfersd
surfersd's picture

My best Jersey Shore memory was in Sea Girt. Big wave washes in around my feet and when it recedes there is a tranfusion bag wrapped around by leg with some blood still in it. Yikes

Imagine what the beaches will look like after Irene.


Thu, 08/25/2011 - 15:40 | 1601206 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Dude, recall a little further how all that shit being dumped by NY were doing so only 1/2 the required distance from shore, the investigation into it, and of course not even a follow up story of any consequence what so ever.

I'm right here in Belmar/Avon NJ no news of medical waste in yrs or nothing that is news worthy....

Tampon applicators? well thats a different story.

As far as what the beaches will look like after this storm? like they will need 100's of millions of replenishment sand for oh the 3rd time in about 15 yrs

The Jersey Shore Show....really it should have been named NY benny and the Jets..

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 16:19 | 1601398 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Good. All those suck-ass Pennsylvania drivers will stay home this weekend instead of jamming up all the roads.





Thu, 08/25/2011 - 16:53 | 1601558 Josey Montana
Josey Montana's picture

Was that you who flipped over on 95 last week after trying to pass on the leftside shoulder?

I thought so.  I mean, I know I was only going 85 in a 65, but really.

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 18:06 | 1601840 Anonymouse
Anonymouse's picture

You mean I'm going to have to watch Geordie Shore now?

Thu, 08/25/2011 - 19:11 | 1602010 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Kind of like find Waldo.  Where will Obama be.  Fly out to Omaha?  He will have to end his "Continual Vacation" in Martha Vinyard.

Fri, 08/26/2011 - 00:19 | 1602943 Hacksaw
Hacksaw's picture

What's going to be interesting is, what does FA Christie do after the storm is over. Will he stick by his principles, refuse taxpayer money from Obozo, and cut relief funds to balance his budget, or will he do the hypocrite crawl to DC, with his hat in hand, begging for or maybe demanding tax payer money? Should be fun watching TV this weekend. There will be much to learn about the tea baggers for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear.

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