The Status Quo Is Back - UniCredit Halted, Down 7.8%

Tyler Durden's picture

As we said earlier, "it was fun while it lasted." Now reality, and the pricing in of tomorrow's Berlusconi vote of "confidence" comes back with a vengeance. From Reuters:


Fear not! the imminent surge in Italian CDS means that the Boot will report infinite EPS once its bonds hits zero: thank you JP Morgan.

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knukles's picture

Seemed like a good idea at the time is the new fun while it lasted before everybody had their eyes poked out.
I like Jarts.
Bag-0-Glass wasn't half bad either.

Seize Mars's picture

Bag-0-Glass wasn't half bad either.

How about "Invisible Pedestrian?"

Jim in MN's picture

'Drano-Filled Kaleidoscope?'


Pretty swirls.....

ratso's picture

Always a surprise that it isn't zero.

pods's picture

Jarts was a fun game. Best thing was you played it in the soft summer grass so you could play barefoot!


slaughterer's picture

Ahhhhhh, Unicredit... as insolvent as a rotten, maggoty turd on a "Made in China" plastic spoon.  Prepare for the next 5-day wave down.  

qussl3's picture

It's one of those turds that no matter how many times you flush simply keeps floating back up.


Falcon15's picture

We have a saying in Texas. Polish a turd, it's still a turd.

MachoMan's picture

Yeah, but it stinks worse if you smear it everywhere...

ceilidh_trail's picture

floats up- unlike that chinese boat...

Gandalf6900's picture

well it only went up 50% in the last 2 weeks, you think some people will take profits...

And I understand its a phantom bank

And I understand that it went up on low volume

And I understand all you want, but we are in this game to make money not to be moral, if not we should stay out of the stock market and grow tulips

Tyler Durden's picture

Absolutely, although someone not taking a profit may be anoyone who bought the stock on January 1 and saw it drop 50%.

Gandalf6900's picture

Regardless, they will never let it fail even if it is a rotting peace of shit so we are no longer trading a bank stock but a worthless peace of paper that can make us small speculators a lot of money...anyone who trades financial stocks and thinks they are trading something real is a ..... (pick your insult), so stating that it fell 7% because its a piece of shit makes me say....duh

unununium's picture

Be sure and get back to us on how playing this negative-sum game works out for you.

disabledvet's picture

You seem to arguing we should be watching the country then. I agree. "What price this lack of failure?" Seems rather high and growing as the Zero Hedge "re-rack" segment shows all too well. What say you Gandalf?

M.B. Drapier's picture

If you want to ride the bailouts, shouldn't you be buying bank senior debt, not equity? I don't see equity surviving the next round of European bank bailouts unscathed.

augie's picture

Great, so now the popular consensus is that morality and turning a profit are mutually exclusive.

Lulz, that's Really a bullish sign for capitalism in an era desperate for a return to egaltarian ethical principles...


fuu's picture

"but we are in this game to make money not to be moral"

Thanks for summing up the evil in the world.

Gandalf6900's picture

Yes I did sum it up.

I wish I could put my saving in the stock mkt as an investment, but nowadays you put your money in the stock mkt for speculation by definition, there is no investing...unfortunately, and as a ZH reader all should understand it by now, but let me be cristal clear this saddens me to no end, regardless I won't let easy money get away on the fake pretext of morality

fuu's picture

Your sense of entitlement is showing.

gojam's picture

This is bad volatility not good volatility ?

VisualCSharp's picture

Last time I looked, the definition of volatility was when something moves about wildly and unpredictably. Simply dropping off a cliff seems very predictable to me. The trend is it goes to ZERO.

The Axe's picture

Market is broken, it just doesn't know it....

Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Right - I miss the "Rule 48" tweets in the morning -- but VIX is back rising

sabra1's picture

only hookers and their mothers are permitted to vote!

John Law Lives's picture


Gee, I wonder why the markets don't get suspended during rapid, low volume melt-ups. I suppose that sort of volatility is okay.

Quintus's picture

Now you're getting it.  There is 'Good' volatility and 'Bad' volatility.  Just like there is 'Good' Mark-to-Market and 'Bad' Mark-to-Market.


broke433's picture

That's it? BAC does that move everyday.

Racer's picture

I thought volatility meant going .... up ... and down a lot, surely just going down is more appropriately called 'collapsing'!

RobotTrader's picture

Man, what's up with those "picnic arms" on Melissa Lee?

Somebody needs to put her on a starvation diet.

SheepDog-One's picture

You just NOW noticed Melissa Lee is a sweet and sour glazed PIG?

knukles's picture

Man gets a Gold Star.
First intelligent comment in weeks.
Keep up the good work.

John Law Lives's picture

RobotTrader used to be a purveyor of nice T&A photos. For whatever reason, that stopped.

derek_vineyard's picture

Robo---i thought part of your therapy was to stop watching cnbc, but if its volume off and for soft porn i'll give you a pass.

Don Birnam's picture

Absolutely not. A very attractive woman, and perhaps the only watchable personality on the network. One can also sense that she has little affinity for James Cramer...but then again, who does ?

fuu's picture

Can you verify that you just had a few day time out?

Jim in MN's picture

B-b-but the EU just finished trashing national freedoms to fix the problems as understood six months ago (i.e. peripheral economies only) mind.   Bombs awaaaaaay!

cossack55's picture

Como frijoles tennis shoes. Where you been Jim? Good to see ya back.

Jim in MN's picture

Oh ya know, massive family relocation, no big deal in today's economic Cuisinart.

broke433's picture

The timing is perfect, it'll take about 2 weeks of euro bank stocks being halted everyday until the EU disappoints again with their plan coinciding with earnings being over though by that time we would be at ES 1350 = 20 * 8 trading days + 1190. Then we would start crashing again until QE3.

SheepDog-One's picture

Who are they fooling anyway? We all know we're just waiting for some morning soon when ICBMs are blocking out the sun.

gojam's picture

Then we'll fight in the shade. ;-)

spankfish's picture

Sooooo... JP Morgan is playing hide the salami with the bond market.