Step Aside BBC "Trader": Head Of UniCredit Securities Predicts Imminent End Of The Eurozone And A Global Financial Apocalypse

Tyler Durden's picture

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The Deleuzian's picture

It's Rastani!! I'm waiting for him to rip his face off to reveal his lizard/forked-tongue-self

GetZeeGold's picture


He's a retired Greek......he knows the score.

I'm 55. I'm retired. I'm Greek, I'm sitting on the beach with my iPad........and I'm holding the entire world hostage......kinda cool.

Don't care if it's the ECB, the IMF, the EFSF, the FED, the BIS, the Germans, the Americans...somebody...PAY ME!


ratso's picture

Good to hear that the sky is still falling. Run run run Dick and Jane see DIck and Jane run.  

Success these days seems to be vested in who can unfurl the scariest world financial collapse scenario. 


Lets hear a little good news on Zerohedge for a change.

GetZeeGold's picture


Lets hear a little good news on Zerohedge for a change.

All the socialists have just died and the problems have been instantly solved.....oh wait.....that didn't happen.

Sorry....I've got nothing.



flacon's picture



Man in Black: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead. 
Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. 
Man in Black: You've made your decision then? 
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. 
Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. 
Vizzini: Wait till I get going! Now, where was I? 
Man in Black: Australia. 
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. 
Man in Black: You're just stalling now. 
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. 
Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work. 
Man in Black: Then make your choice. 
Vizzini: I will, and I choose - What in the world can that be? 
Man in Black: [Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. Roberts looks. Vizzini swaps the goblets
Man in Black: What? Where? I don't see anything. 
Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours. 
Man in BlackVizzini: [Vizzini and the Man in Black drink
Man in Black: You guessed wrong. 
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha... 
Vizzini: [Vizzini stops suddenly, his smile frozen on his face and falls to the ground dead
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned. 
Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder. I BOUGHT GOLD AND SILVER. 

redpill's picture

Treasury Sec Humperdink won't know what hit him.

Thomas's picture

I am going to stockpile some Gyros.

GetZeeGold's picture


He's also Santa Claus........the REAL one.


Randall Cabot's picture

Attila the Hungarian? His parents had a sense of humor, I guess.

Ahmeexnal's picture

The euro is about to suffer multiple deadly aneurysm ruptures.

Léonard's picture

"A Greek default will trigger an immediate “magnitude 10” earthquake across Europe.".

Pfffff... what a piece of crap, an Anglo-American anti-Europe piece of crap in the new world war : USSA & their Perfide Albion doggy vs. Europe.

Greece's default will make the Euro stronger (the Eurozone don't need Greece !) and by that time the Dollar and the US banks exposed by their CDS will drop dead.

So bring it on ! Let's kick Amerikkka in the nuts !

vipobviously's picture

Will the dead euro bounce?

Pinto Currency's picture


I'd expect this kind of game playing with Allesio Rastani type "hoaxes" by the BBC (or GBC - Government Broadcasting Corporation) to try to make a mokery of a very serious discussion.

MSimon's picture

The solid state ones last longer.

twotraps's picture

stockpile Gyros?  We could buy Mykonos?

pass the salt.....lets just default!



UP4Liberty's picture

I'm a 3rd Gen Amercian Greek - and that is a f***ing hilarious comment.  Thanks for the chuckle, malaka!


mickeyman's picture

Instead of poisoned wine it should have been bonds.

TheLooza's picture

This is baaad.


Though it does remind me of my favorits scene from good 'ol G-busters...


Mass Hysteria!!

hardcleareye's picture

Hmmm..  let's see is Greece/EU mostly dead or really dead, you see there is a difference!

Bring the Gold's picture

It's completely dead, expect the IMF et al to pat the corpse down for loose change belonging to Orphans and Widows.

ManyWeapons's picture

Missle Silo Condo ready --- Check

Fish Gone Bad's picture

Whenever something bad happens, the government comes out with some other "bad news" to change the subject.  Something like so and so is a racist because he said Obama was black.  For the government to come up with really really bad news once Greece collapses, I am thinking it is going to take a full blown flu pandemic.

hardcleareye's picture

Nope it's going to be war with Iran.

pods's picture

Well, the story about a bunch of "heat seeking" missiles gone missing has been spread far and wide.  Even the name Al-CIA-Duh was mentioned in the news bites.  As well as previous attempts at using them for terrrrrrism.



X.inf.capt's picture

please, bad, dont give these parasites any ideas....

dracos_ghost's picture

War with Iran is too easy. Would polarize people too much.

My bet is on a market crash that is blamed on "Cyberterror" and the gubmint steps in and confiscates all wealth "for our own good".

EnglishMajor's picture

On your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.  So you got that going for you...which is nice.

brew's picture

i'd play through, i don't think the heavy stuff will come for quite some time...

DaveyJones's picture

GetZee, don't let them sell the Acropolis

GoinFawr's picture

i get the impression 'gotzee' is just another inflammatory thread hijacker who would pimp out his own mom if he thought her booty was in any sort of demand, and disparagingly misnome a 'socialist' anyone who wouldn't do the same while wilfully ignoring the facts staring him in the face contradicting his conditioned myopia.

Facts like those in the following table:

Or inconvenient facts that indicate that the avg. Greek worker works more hours per week and retires at an age above the European average of 61.

GoinFawr's picture

... I must have cued gotzed's fluffers.

Bring the Gold's picture

GZG is a Kitco regular and staunch right winger of the millitant sort so therefore afraid of the red menace as though Kruschev was still in power. He trusts the government, if Bush is in office, not so much when black "socialist" warmonger, fleece the poor give to the rich Obama is in power. If Obama is in power he expects false flags, but Bush/Cheney were just plain heros...yeah you get the drift.

GoinFawr's picture

He's an 'Useful idiot', gotcha.

jaffa's picture

The BBC is an autonomous public service broadcaster that operates under a Royal Charter and a Licence and Agreement from the Home Secretary. Within the United Kingdom its work is funded pricipally by an annual television licence fee. Thanks.
ottawa lawyers

Don Birnam's picture

Ah, fine piece.

How can one not read the commentary from a chap named "Attila ?"

Au Shucks's picture

Great idea Ratpoo... how about you start?  Give us a solid, well researched post of all of the positive economic and financial news you can find.  Once you're done with that, you should still have time to self groom and eat a little cheese before the cat rips you a new one. 

Looking forward to it

ratso's picture

Au Shucks - EVERY ONE TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BOAT BEFORE IT CAPSIZES -RUN, RUN.  Nothing like a good panic to start the day.

Had a good cup of coffee this morning and now I'm off to the bank, that's still there to depsoit some money I made in the market from the people who panic.  Life is good.


snowball777's picture

Had a good cup of coffee this morning and now I'm off to finish up my errands before the Vulcanalia celebrations get underway. - Ratso of Pompeii


Citxmech's picture

Which "market investment" is paying-off in cash or checks these days?

[or are those your 3-card Montey winnings?]

ratso's picture

When I ask Charles SChwab to send me a check, they send me one.  

Life is good when you are on the other side of the boat that the frightened crowd is on.  As long as yu guys stay frightened, I will make  more money.


Thanks all.

DaveyJones's picture

and as long as you're naive so will all those other guys

ceilidh_trail's picture

Ratso- Kinda like the check uncle sam sends ya?

HoofHearted's picture

He's got three more days before the first of the month...

Moneyswirth's picture

Never trust banksters, bureaucrats, politicians, lawyers and....people who anonymously talk about how much "money" they "make" on blogs.