Summarizing Jamie Dimon's Congressional Testimony

Tyler Durden's picture

As expected, absolutely nothing new was disclosed in today's latest Jamie Dimon dog and pony show. To summarize what we did learn:

  • "JPM is not too big to fail, but it is not at risk of failing unless the earth is hit by the moon"
  • "We make CDS for the benefit of veterans, retirees, orphans and widows"
  • "We only bought Bear's assets in a firesale while the Fed backstopped its liabilities, because the US government made us"
  • "VaR can be made to show anything. We have a closet full of models"
  • "Gambling is not investing"

Finally, Jamie Dimon once again refused to disclose the to-date losses on the CIO trade, but promises the firm will be profitable. Which only leaves one question open: how much "profit" from "reserve release" and "DVA", aka blowing out in JPM CDS, will the firm need to take to mask the CIO losses?