Summary Of Greek Reform "Pledges"

Tyler Durden's picture

At this point everyone is so habituated to worthless updates from Greece that we are shocked Bloomberg even noticed. Either way, here is latest Greek headline tape bomb, via BBG, which looks at a leaked Troika draft report obtained by Bloomberg.

  • TROIKA DRAFT GREEK ACCORD SAYS 2012 GDP TO SHRINK AS MUCH AS 5% - so make that 15%-25% realistically
  • GREECE TO CUT MEDICINE SPENDING TO 1.5% OF GDP FROM 1.9% OF GDP - why not just "cull" 15-20% of the population?
  • GREECE PLEDGES TO MERGE ALL AUXILIARY PENSION FUNDS -  one problem - following the default, there will be no pension funds left.
  • GREECE TO PLEDGE 20% CUT IN MINIMUM WAGE IN TROIKA DRAFT - and Greek citizens pledge to never work again.
  • TROIKA DRAFT GREEK ACCORD RENEWS PLEDGE TO CUT 150,000 EMPLOYEE - or the US equivalent of nearly 5 million workers...
  • TROIKA DRAFT GREEK ACCORD PLEDGES 15,000 STATE JOB CUTS IN 2012
  • GREECE TO PLEDGE ACCELERATED LABOR, PRODUCT MARKETS REFORMS
  • GREECE PLEDGES PERMANENT SPENDING CUTS IN TROIKA DRAFT REPORT
  • GREECE PLEDGES NOT TO INCREASE SALES-TAX IN DRAFT REPORT
  • GREECE RENEWS PLEDGE FOR 1 NEW HIRE FOR EACH 5 DEPARTURES
  • GREECE AIMS TO SELL DEPA, DESFA, OPAP, EYDAP, EYATH IN 1H 2012
  • GREECE ALSO TARGETS HELLENIC PETROLEUM SALE IN FIRST HALF 2012

But the winner is:

  • TROIKA DRAFT GREEK ACCORD SEES RETURN TO GROWTH IN 2013 - OMFG.... no, did they just... HILARIOUS

This from the country that was "just short" of a 9% forecast revenue growth in January with a 7% miss??? Sheer lunacy, and Germany will throw up all over the "pledges" as they have had enough. What is needed are guarantees. And even these are pending since the government meeting is still going on, meaning that Greek "leaders" can't come to an agreement over a set of hollow promises?

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Irish66's picture

1 new hire for each 5 departures, hmmmmmmmmm

besodemuerte's picture

If it were the US, the media would spin that into 20% job growth.

redpill's picture

By 2013 all that will be left of Greece is ashes from riot fires.

GenX Investor's picture

We pledge that every Friday will be Ice Cream Friday for all government employees, plus free unicorn rides for all government workers under age 10.

Spastica Rex's picture

Funniest comment in the last 10 days = +10

BaBaBouy's picture

Looks like the Greek Sheeple get in Da Butt again ...

knukles's picture

So it's all fixed again, right?

Nothing To See Here's picture

Return to growth in 2013. There's no other word indeed, that's hillarious.

But hey, look, I wanted to say that I know my 105 years old great grandmother is terminally ill but wait 'til next year, she's gonna rock!

Spooky Polish's picture

Yeap , to much smoke from tiny green tasty flowers 

 

smoke too much ? 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcCuBWXd-hc

 

Growth nexy year ? the'll need hell of a travel agent 

 

Eisenhorn's picture

23rd times' the charm.....right?

battle axe's picture

AHHH, Snake Eyes again. You lose, and lose and lose and lose......

economics1996's picture

If the BLS was calculating the Greek unemployment it would have dropped from 18.8% to 8%.  Life is simple if you work for the government.

Stoploss's picture

GREECE TO TROIKA:     FUCK OFF, NOW SCRATCH MY BALLS.

VanillAnalyst's picture

All this to put a stop loss on some douche bags unsound lending practices? Screw that, send me a bill, I'll get back to you circa 2045. Best of luck!

-The Greek People

GenX Investor's picture

You were saying something about the "Arte of the Possible"?  Go on....

Sharks with laser beams's picture

Read from recent Armada Markets market forecast that Greece will default within weeks now. This is pretty sure now. If the Greece government accepts these demands then there will be a civil war there soon. 

pkea's picture

I guess it is time to get ready for summer and finally!!!:)pull those shorts on....what do you think they summoned those finance ministers to brussels for? haha

The trend is your friend's picture

a civil war is a war between citizens of the same country.  I think you meant to say a hanging of the politicians and banksters will occur if Greece citizens are forced into accepting these terms

_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

I'd say the right term is revolution. I've said it before: it's either default or revolution now.

Eisenhorn's picture

Greece will not default until they decide it will default.

They will keep this farce going until the markets quit responding to the news of 'NEW" deals, and we are very close to that.

Once the markets stop rallying on this crap, they will drop Greece and move on to Ireland/Portugal to repeat the same crap over again.

 

 

Eireann go Brach's picture

Sounds like a cut and paste from the BLS website!

TeMpTeK's picture

Coming soon to a theatre near you..

"Drachma-ula Returns"

caerus's picture

coming soon to cnbs...monty hall hosts "let's make a greek debt deal!"

Sharks with laser beams's picture

Forget Greece. You should be looking at Portugal > Ireland > Spain > Italy and on we go.

Banksters's picture

How do I invest in these pledges?

MarcusLCrassus's picture

More importantly: how do I short these pledges?

ilion's picture

It's all gona end with a war, no other options left.

non_anon's picture

frat house pledges, bitchez!

JPM Hater001's picture

I pledged once but when I found out Montezuma wanted to carve out my heart and feed it to the Bitchez dragon I got weary and fled.

I see that happening here too.

kaiserhoff's picture

Return to growth in 2013.  Why not?

Legalize pot, prostitution, ecstasy, and (ahem) fraternization with sheep, and watch the cash flow, Baybeeee!

Cowabunga Dudes,  Dudettes too;)

carbonmutant's picture

Those pledges are about as funny as Obama pledging allegiance to the flag...

Ahmeexnal's picture

And a partridge in a pear tree.

alien-IQ's picture

Riots and fires to commence in Athens in 5.....4....3.....2.....

LongSoupLine's picture

 

 

This will end...but not well.  The human element is too strong and NOT being factored by ANY "leader".

pods's picture

Agreed.  These conditions, if actually enacted, will be the jump the shark moment for the Troika.

If Greece defaults, Europe burns, if not, Greece burns.

This signals endgame.

:(

GenX Investor's picture

I think this "Draft" report is just Germany's Santa Clause wish list.

ricocyb13's picture

Greece is building a huge FENCE, so that their citizens can not flee the country:

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-202_162-57372954/greece-to-build-anti-immigr...

 

Ahmeexnal's picture

The USA did the same. But the sheeple thought it was to keep the "illegal brown dirty people" from entering.

nonny mouse's picture

That should read "Germany builds a huge fence". They are paying for it, after all...

smiler03's picture

All Germany pays for is the interest on German bank loans. 

/semi sarc

GenX Investor's picture

Uh, that would be on their Southern border, right???

_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

and they call it an anti-immigrant fence? What a joke. Who would want to enter Greece now?

Use of Weapons's picture

Ahh, that's cleared up a mystery for me: I always wondered why an Icelandic combat ship was flying the EU flag.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontex

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ICGV_%C3%86gir

 

Amusingly, their teams are known as RABITs, and have already seen a few clashes with Turkish military along that border. So, in effect, Greece is building a rabit proofed fence.

GeneMarchbanks's picture

'Sheer lunacy, and Germany will throw up all over the "pledges" as they have had enough.'

You underestimate the German stomach.

Ghordius's picture

and the German endurance...

by reading British Newspaper alone, I'd be convinced that Germany is in a state of monetary revolt with barricades in every city...

GeneMarchbanks's picture

MSM is a self fullfilling prophecy: spew 24hr propaganda that seeps into the unconscious of the unsuspecting and PRESTO! you have unpayed useful idiots doing your work for you. It'd be brilliant if it wasn't so dangerous.

PORTA PORTA's picture

new Loan Facility/Greece

http://www.scribd.com/doc/80957438/New-Loan-Facility-for-Greece-FILTERED...

 

PP

and a new SPV-fiduciary... to receive the interest payments and pay the bond holders.. managed by Merkozy ! based in Lux. tax free.. Juenker has the PATENT. ask Kim yo Il. ( 5bill USD )

xaxaxaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Jesas

 

non_anon's picture

ha ha, OT but what the hell

it's history

President John F Kennedy ordered an aide to buy him as many Cuban cigars as he could just hours before he authorised the U.S. trade embargo - which subsequently made them illegal.

Kennedy asked his head of press and fellow cigar smoker Pierre Salinger to obtain '1,000 Petit Upmanns' on February 6, 1962, so he could have them in his hands before they were deemed contraband.

Then, seconds after he was told the next morning that 1,200 of Cuba's finest export had been bought for him, he signed the decree to ban all of the communist state's products from the U.S.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2098064/John-F-Kennedy-bought-1-200-Cuban-cigars-hours-ordered-US-trade-embargo.html

courtesy Drudge