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Supremely Ironic Humor Du Jour Brought To You By Bankrupt MF Global

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Exhibit A (source):

  • FEDERAL OFFICIAL SAYS MF ADMITTED USING CLIENT MONEY, AP SAYS

Exhibit B (source):

 

......Uhhhhh, WTF?

 

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Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:09 | 1833608 PicassoInActions
PicassoInActions's picture

glad i don't have abt money, nothing to lose

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:17 | 1833655 sunnydays
sunnydays's picture

The full PDF file of what is says in how they protect their clients is on this link, in fact many of their statements of never commingling money is in it.  What a laugh.  So they outright lied to their clients.  But will there be jail time?  I am not hearing anything on CNBC about anyone being arrested for what they have done.

 

http://sherriequestioningall.blogspot.com/2011/11/mf-global-stole-hundre...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:42 | 1833764 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

MF Global is the tip of the iceberg. It just happens to be the most visible portion what is a massive iceberg (so large that it will inevitably sink the global economy) that is the fractional reserve banking-created global fiat Ponzi.

Remember: Wall Street and the banking system (created by central bank fractional reserve banking) now accounts for the greatest percentage of the nominal (and fantasy) global 'wealth,' yet this wealth is a net negative sum in reality, as it is merely the process of creating a series of bubble after bubble, all designed to concentrate wealth in the hands of the insiders.

Conjuring fiat that is sold as money (i.e. 'wealth') from thin air, and then leveraging that same fiat up to multiples of debt exponentionally higher, indebting people and companies in the process, so as to allow for the taking of their real assets and wealth, is the greatest scam ever devised in the history of the world.

The money conjurers and shape-shifters love harvest time, especially after any period of time where people were severly indebted and drunk on notions of selling tulip bulbs/houses/real estate/stocks at nosebleed levels.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:46 | 1833791 Hard1
Hard1's picture

Errata:   Where it reads MF global is a broker-dealer, it shoul read MF Global WAS a broker dealer

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:57 | 1833899 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Why people that understand the phrase "fractional reserve" still give their wealth to others for safekeeping is beyond me.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:58 | 1833910 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

11-01 15:17: JP Morgan (JPM) seeks a lien on all MF Global holdings assets

 

Jamie Dimon says:

Obama's my bitch. Step aside, bitchez. I don't care if you're a first secured lien holder. I'm Jamie Dimon.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 18:17 | 1834599 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"I don't care if you're a first secured lien holder."

lol...this is a job for Steve Rattner.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:29 | 1834088 Misean
Misean's picture

Broke dealer...

Broke back dealer...

I say MF like Samuel L. Jackson does...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:48 | 1833804 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Absolutely correct. Derivatives etc = uNreality.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:55 | 1833886 eurusdog
eurusdog's picture

Greek 10 yr Ink Bonds will be sold to print the ballots.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:36 | 1834128 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

Does it make me an insider if I buy the dips in physical these bastards create? I feel like a small fish picking at the bits of flesh floating in the water after a feeding frenzy of sharks.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 21:28 | 1835196 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Here's how to tell if you're an insider:

Can you -

1)  Create fiat using nothing more than an computer/ledger entry, backed by nothing of inherent value, and certainly nothing of yours, in any way, shape or form, that has legal recognition?

2)  Circulate such fiat via loaning it out, charging interest?

3) Successfully get nations, business entities and individuals to borrow said worthless fiat that you conjured from thin air, and pay you interest, pledging their real, inherently valuable assets in exchange for said worthless fiat (i.e. meaning that you can take their real, inherently valuable assets if you force the conditions that make it impossible for them to repay you the worthless fiat)?

4) Set the rate of interest payable on the loans of fiat that you conjured from thin air, solely at your discretion?

5) Supply more of such fiat, or withdraw fiat, to/from the system, at your discretion, bringing about inflation or deflation?

6) During times of large scale loan defaults, on the repayment of the fiat that you conjured from thin air, backed by nothing of inherent value, seize the most valuable assets that exist on the planet, many of which mankind depends on for its very survival?

 

If you said yes to numbers 1 through 6 above, you are an insider.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 00:22 | 1835660 Milestones
Milestones's picture

Perfecto!!          Milestones

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:37 | 1834452 collon88
collon88's picture

Well said.  Private central banking is the ultimate cause of much misery and the supreme real world expression of greed and lust for power. I doubt 1 in 1,000 people understand this.  I didn't until a few years ago when I read Ellen Brown's book Web of Debt.  The Fed's charter is up for renewal in 2013.  That will be the time to drive a stake into the heart of the Beast and kill it forever. 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 18:35 | 1834642 Libertarian777
Libertarian777's picture

More like 1 in a million. Ellen brown doesn't get it either. Her solution for central bank fiat currency is fiat us treasury currency. Right now those are synonomous. Federal reserve notes are backed by US treasuries. Allowing the us treasury to issue fiat currency is like replacing stalin with hitler.
The constitution and coinage act limit governments role to 'regulating the value thereof'. And that meant the treasury can define coinage in various weights and purities of gold or silver used, nothing else. 'Regulate value' doesn't mean governent price controls on money or central economic planning from the fed or the treasury

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 00:54 | 1835719 Milestones
Milestones's picture

Nonsense. Congress MAY NOT delegate the vale thereof as I have pointed out several times. You state "means the treasury can define coinage in various weights and purities of gold or silver used, NOTHING ELSE." First, Congress does not have the authority to DELEGATE that authority; as Congresses authority comes from "We the people" and it is ONLY the PEOPLE who have that authority as SOVEREIGNS TO DELEGATE THAT AUTHORITY TO THE VALUE THEREOF. John Locke agrees with me on the delegation of authority as does the Supreme Court.

Under Marbury V Madison @1803 Congress did not have the authority to pass said bill (The Federal Reserve Act of 1913) but President Wilson did not have the authority to sign it and in fact the law is VOID via the Marbury v Madison decision of 1803 (which is the Supremacy Clause) making the Constitution the supreme law of he land.

The Federal Reserve act is a fraud and has always been a fraud just as the Santa Clara v S.P. Railroad decision of 1886 saying corporations are persons is a fraud and in 1907 The Western Turf Assn. v Greenberg decision blew that argument out of the water.

Have a good evening.          Milestones

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 19:49 | 1834925 Goldtoothchimp09
Goldtoothchimp09's picture

 

If all this paper getting sloshed around - that's represents 'revenue' for financial firms - were to no longer be counted toward GDP (which is a meaningless stat anyway) ...

 

GDP just might fall of a cliff ledge.  And it should.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 00:48 | 1835710 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

They are drug dealing slave traders and their M.O. hasn't changed in 200 years.  They've just extended their product line and market reach.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:51 | 1833852 Ura Bonehead
Ura Bonehead's picture

I am not hearing anything on CNBC about anyone being arrested for what they have done.

Well, there's a good reason for that, Sunny, and that is that no one is being accused of doing anything illegal.  Except around here.  Fortunately, in America, evidence is important.  Sunny, respectfully..... Everyone needs to give it a rest (regarding MF). Having been around a few similar events/investigations, the auditors and investigators haven't had time to find the MF bathrooms much less any missing/misallocated money or scandal (if any).  Missing money or not, the apparent admission of using client money is bad enough.  But while I know witch-hunting is a national pastime around ZH (I have tossed a few folks without due process in the fire myself), give it a rest on calls to build a fire until you see the whites of the regulator's eyes telling you EXACTLY what they have found.  that will take a while.

P.S. Corzine stepped into the CEO's shoes just last year. Perhaps... PERHAPS, any actual fraud (if any) took place b/f John took the position.  BUT CLEARLY....  It was under John's leadership that the firm tried to bolster profits by increasing the number of bets the firm made using its own capita (as with Goldman).

Anyway.... Unless you’ve nothing better to do, why not wait for the auditors and regulators before putting anyone in jail and calling for another ZH witch hunt.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:03 | 1833937 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

"Anyway.... Unless you’ve nothing better to do, why not wait for the auditors and regulators before putting anyone in jail and calling for another ZH witch hunt"

 

Wait for the auditors and regulators? Hilarious. Your survival rate will drop to zero before the auditors and regulators show up to investigate this fraud.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:11 | 1833993 Transformer
Transformer's picture

I was gonna say, "Auditors and Regulators", why, they're all ex Goldmans Sachs folk.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:27 | 1834083 narapoiddyslexia
narapoiddyslexia's picture

Does he mean the guys that audited and regulated Madoff? 

Or the SEC Inspector General scumbags that whitewashed the way the SEC let Madoff get away with it in spite of their possession of enough evidence to put him away years ago?

Auditors and Regulators my ass.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:49 | 1834196 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

Anyway.... Unless you’ve nothing better to do, why not wait for the auditors and regulators before putting anyone in jail and calling for another ZH witch hunt.

Now where is the fun in that?  It would be much funner to throw EVERYONE in jail first (to prevent them from leaving or making matters worse), and then sort out the mess.  A little prarie justice as it were.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:52 | 1834211 Ura Bonehead
Ura Bonehead's picture

Your survival rate will drop to zero before the auditors and regulators show up to investigate this fraud.

And yet that's sort of the way it works, isn't it?  Last reported they have already "shown-up" so I'm sure you and ZH will be first to know when/if they find anything.

Worry about the growing net worth of Congress.  Worry about the fact that American's constantly votes for the party that raises the most money.  This story is (so far) just noise.

Moving in...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 18:26 | 1834620 11b40
11b40's picture

Yep, it's noise, alright....KA-BOOM!

 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 21:53 | 1835251 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

That's some "witch-hunt" ya got there  ya MF'ing bonehead.... NO ONE has yet gone to jail for destroying the financial system.

NA DA

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 20:03 | 1834988 Bwahaha WAGFDSMB
Bwahaha WAGFDSMB's picture

I think someone might actually go to jail for this one.  Of course that someone will be a mid level scapegoat, but no matter.

The Occupy Wall Street crowd persists, and draws a bit of media coverage.  Might be time for a little 'Feds getting tough on wall street' show.  Could be a big media circus.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:11 | 1833989 Ace Ventura
Ace Ventura's picture

ROTFLMAO! Yep, just wait on those good ol' auditors and regulators. Just give it some time, and all will be well. HAHAHAHAHA!

Oh man, thanks dude. I needed that laugh.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:11 | 1833992 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Last time I checked, using client money was illegal. There can't be that many people who could do such a thing, so arrest the person(s) who made the transfers, then work your way up the chain-of-command to determine who made the decision. While the real decision maker may be protected by a fall-guy, it's still the place you have to start.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:20 | 1834049 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

Say what you like, but the moment it looks like your friend John weighs the same as a duck- into the fire he goes!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:24 | 1834064 undercover brother
undercover brother's picture

no one's getting arrested and everyone will be exonerated.  same story, different crisis...as long as you've written this month's donation checks to the obama campaign, you can be assured the US AG will lose the file. 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:41 | 1834157 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

you meant to say BITCH hunt, right fool.

 

Under Dear Jon's leadership he tanked the share price and then for shits and grins busted the place!

 

Yeah, just that is enough to get your ass tossed for sure.

 

Funny how when the slimeball bitch had a whiff of a non-pimped system he failed just as your post did, clown.

 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:56 | 1834237 crazyjsmith
crazyjsmith's picture

Hey Bonehead,

So. you are suggeting that we all take a large collective breath, and hold it...until our fabulous regulators do their job?  Ok, let's go...GULP............

= crickets = death due to suffocation.  

Good suggestion.  Any more bright ideas?  Explain this to me genius, why was it rather easy putting crooks in jail after the S&L crisis?  In the wake of that debacle, special government task forces referred 1,100 cases to prosecutors, resulting in more than 800 bank officials going to jail.  What is our tally so far?  How long should we wait? 

The sucking sound that creeped into clients accounts was most likely a result Corzine's Hubris/Greed/Overconfidence coming out of the recent Europe debt crisis, so I think we can all comfortably say that there is a more than rational chance that this all happened under Mr. Corzine's watch.  If you want to go ahead and hold your breath for "the truth", go right ahead.  Just show us some commitment and don't cheat by sneaking a breath before we so graciously accept the Faithful word of our regulators. 

Meanwhile, until we have actual evidence that we should start trusting our regulators to do the right thing, in the face of HUGE conflicts of interest, I will continue to breath and read ZH for the truth.       

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:45 | 1834484 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

derivitaves: (derr-riv-atevs) diverting your money to other people never to be seen again.

 see also: gullible, banking, fed ponzi.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 18:19 | 1834602 ResFam
ResFam's picture

"Unless you’ve nothing better to do, why not wait for the auditors and regulators before putting anyone in jail and calling for another ZH witch hunt."

Yeah, because those auditors and regulators have done such a fantastic job of putting people behind bars for "actual fraud" so far.  As William Black says, they put over 1000 crooks in the pokey after the S&L crisis... Guess how many were put in jail after the most recent banking crisis?... Zero, nada, zilch, zippo, goose egg, null, empty set.

Nah... I think I'll vote for the witch hunt.

 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 19:01 | 1834518 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

I found this video link to their investment guide. I dont know what went wrong?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0veaeu6rOqY

 

Prestige World Wide..

world wide..

world wide...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:10 | 1833614 truont
truont's picture

Just imagine...it's not just MF Global that has pooled the client and prop funds...other "liquidity" providers do it too...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:37 | 1833743 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

The only difference is MF Global got caught. But that doesn't really mean anything. No one will get convicted. And even if they are, they'll commit suicide and move to the Bahamas.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:37 | 1833750 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

ain't many trump cards left to hold up the house - tic toc

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:20 | 1834050 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Therz one, and his name is Trump.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:35 | 1834123 yabyum
yabyum's picture

Off to Vesco Island for the lot of them.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:14 | 1834321 unununium
unununium's picture

What do you mean they got caught?

Just as with Madoff and for that matter the housing bubble, MFG continued until the ponzi simply collapsed.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 23:40 | 1835553 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

True. Poor choice of words...

Replace "got caught" with "imploded"

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:11 | 1833617 Sequitur
Sequitur's picture

Mmm, let's see how that "guarantee" holds up.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:11 | 1833618 illyia
illyia's picture

This is ART!

Where is Warhol?!?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:32 | 1833733 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Don't you mean:

Where is William Banzai?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:11 | 1833619 vegas
vegas's picture

Yeah, thanks for the helping me to discover liquidation only trading.

What tools.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:12 | 1833624 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Dammit, but I want to place some new orders with them. I heard the guys are the best in the marketplace.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:12 | 1833625 Godisanhftbot
Godisanhftbot's picture

 get the noose

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:15 | 1833645 fuu
fuu's picture

Hangins too good for 'em. They should be torn into little pieces and buried alive.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:40 | 1833765 mrdenis
Tue, 11/01/2011 - 18:46 | 1834690 fuu
Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:12 | 1833626 drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

"The protection of its customers’ funds is MF Global’s paramount concern."

 

apparently levered to the moon Sov debt trading was slightly more paramount...haha

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:11 | 1834249 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Governor Jon Corzine (D): I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.

Jon Corzine, private citizen and head of MF Global, perhaps getting confused: "I'm from MF Global and I'm her to help you protect your money by mixing it with our own. It's for your own benefit, really!"  

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:13 | 1833632 Darth Silver
Darth Silver's picture

look out belowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:13 | 1833634 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

at least cutomer service is still up and running :)

 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:20 | 1833673 SuSpencer
SuSpencer's picture

Yeah, but would you really want to be the person on either side of THAT phone call?  

 

Probably not :)

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:23 | 1834061 andybev01
andybev01's picture

...up and running...to the nearest exit.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:24 | 1834067 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

at least cutomer service is still up and running :)

 

My name is Peggy, how can I help?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:15 | 1833641 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

When an idiot can print trillions without inpunity, why people care about a few billions? No problem, no release with no charge. BTW, please free madoff too, he is relatively innocent.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:52 | 1833853 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

You can have Corzine and Madoff. Just bring us the heads of Bernanke and Geithner, and we can trade.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:21 | 1834053 Billy Bob
Billy Bob's picture

YesWeCan.....

there, I fixed it.

 

By the way... WTF does "without impunity" mean exactly?

 

Bill

 

 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:15 | 1833642 AldoHux_IV
AldoHux_IV's picture

This is how JPM becomes 'hedged'? By stealing whatever is left from MF's stealing of clients' money?

This is hilariously pathetic, but soon to be at a broker near you.  When all else fails in manipulating the market just steal the rest via liquidation only status.

Occupy JPM

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:15 | 1833643 farmboy
farmboy's picture

I guess this is why CSFB send a letter to cleints two weeks ago drawing their attention that cash is part of their comingled buisness. But hey nothing new here to see just move along please.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:16 | 1833647 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Awesome- make sure their marketing dept is the last in line to go......

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:16 | 1833650 Mactheknife
Mactheknife's picture

Check this out...from this past July. More ironic humor.

"President Obama is desperately putting his Wall Street stock in an unlikely old buddy.The beleaguered president has recruited former Goldman Sachs head honcho Jon Corzine to shore up re-election funds from the banking industry, which is furious over Obama's financial regulations.Corzine, the former governor of New Jersey who was blasted out of office by Republican Chris Christie in 2009, has attended secret meetings with the president and has been working on Obama's 2012 campaign for months, The Post has learned.The Democrat, who now leads Manhattan-based brokerage MF Global, has been tasked with scraping up the very little banking-industry support Obama can still get."

http://market-ticker.org/

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:21 | 1833681 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

Yeah, like enron secret meetins with cock cheney.

Victoria is the only one that have secrets.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:26 | 1833703 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I smell a pardon coming down the road.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:41 | 1833769 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

More likely the DoJ will take the lead on the coverup.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 20:53 | 1835119 Jena
Jena's picture

But I bet Obama waits until after 11/2012 to make that (or any other controversial) pardon, whether he's re-elected or not.  

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 19:44 | 1834897 crazyjsmith
crazyjsmith's picture

Obama - the gift that keeps on giving. 

Thanks for that little nugget Mactheknife. 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 21:59 | 1835267 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"...the banking industry, which is furious over Obama's financial regulations"

uh...which regulations were those?

those toothless, potemkin, little "look busy" thangs known as Dodd-Frank?

" I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro."

pfffft

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:16 | 1833651 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

If that was my photo on their website, i would ask them to take it down.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:17 | 1833654 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Apparently, they replaced the "How MF Global protects client assets - learn more" tab by "Relentless Pursuit"

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:17 | 1833657 qussl3
qussl3's picture

Closing all my US based accounts never seemed like a better idea.

What a godamn farce.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:56 | 1833898 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

My bank account is for electronic bill paying and transferring funds.  My WEALTH (what little there is) is bank of Sealy!!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:12 | 1834001 data_monkey
data_monkey's picture

My bank account is for electronic bill paying and transferring funds. My WEALTH is bank of safe, bolted to the floor, backed by Mr. and Mrs. Glock and Mr. and Mrs. AK-47.

Feel a helluva lot safer that way... 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:18 | 1833659 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

HeHeHe

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:18 | 1833660 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Protecting clients assets :)

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:21 | 1833665 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

MF protects client assets by bundling them with other crap, leveraging them up, skimming off bonuses, salary, and golden parachutes, then going belly up but getting bailed out by complicit "regulatory" agencies and no one goes to jail or even gets cuffed.

Party on Wall Street!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:30 | 1833728 Agent P
Agent P's picture

It's the old saying about Wall Street..."We want to take your money and our experience and turn it into our money and your experience."

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:35 | 1833745 BetTheHouse
BetTheHouse's picture

Exactly. Just like that episode of the Sopranos where they do the bust out operation on the sporting goods store. The financial sector has become a bust out, only instead of selling beer coolers on the street corners which they ordered on credit, it's your investment money. Bada-bIng!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:21 | 1833667 wang (not verified)
wang's picture

The numbers in the guys head - what is the secret message?

 

 

237 hmmm

 

 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:27 | 1833706 seek
seek's picture

Actually I think it's 23%, not 237.

The graphic artist is probably a discordian. Discordianism is very common among the graphics artist types, especially in advertising. The numbers 5 and 23 are classic discordian markers.

(See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discordianism and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/23_Enigma )

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:38 | 1833758 BetTheHouse
BetTheHouse's picture

Very odd. And the guys head appears to be superimposed over a crop circle. Seriously, WTF? Maybe the aliens came and took thre investors money away on a spaceship

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:45 | 1834181 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

Heh, these dudes are fukin NutsO, is this just now shinking in around here!

 

muaahhahaaaa.

 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:20 | 1833670 blindman
blindman's picture

"To reduce the risk of loss or default, exchanges and clearing firms set customer margin high enough to assure that the will be sufficient net equity available in a customer’s account for most anticipated price movements. Margin requirements for customers at most exchanges are computed in accordance with the so-called Standard Portfolio Analysis of Risk (SPAN) algorithm. This takes into account historical and implied price volatilities as well as current and anticipated market conditions, including worst case scenarios. Although margin is not the only means for assuring contract performance, it represents a primary safeguard.
MF Global maintains an aggressive risk management program and, if it deems necessary, will require a customer to post margin in excess of the minimum customer margin required by an exchange."

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:21 | 1833677 Zola
Zola's picture

How to become a successful Wall Street Firm :

1. Lie 

2. Lie Again

3. When caught plead innocence or ignorance

4. Repeat step 1

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:43 | 1834167 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Where's Steal ?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:21 | 1833678 Johnk
Johnk's picture

MF Global only did the same thing as Full-Tilt Poker, and since the markets are a big casino, that seems appropriate.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:39 | 1833759 Sgt. Oddball
Sgt. Oddball's picture

Only difference is the Justice Department has actually filed charges against the operators of Full Tilt for running a ponzi scheme because they were knowingly using the players funds to run their business operations, which is against their gaming regulations causing them to also lose their international gaming license as well.  I do not hold any hope of getting my money back from these criminals either, much like the suckers involved in the Wall Street Casino.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:22 | 1833686 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Are these guys any good? Nice website. I'm looking for a new dealer, maybe I'll give them a try

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:23 | 1833689 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

Hahahaa, this one's a keeper!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:24 | 1833691 peekcrackers
peekcrackers's picture

Fresh eggs and scam ...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:24 | 1833694 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

Hahaha, what a fucking joke!!

"The protection of its customers’ funds is MF Global’s paramount concern. In this regard, the key components of the futures and securities regulatory regimes with which MF Global must comply are risk-based margining, capital and the segregation of customer funds."

 

 

 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:25 | 1833699 Poule Mouillee
Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:30 | 1833719 Sequitur
Sequitur's picture

From MF Global's own document:

"Probably the cardinal safeguard of both futures and securities customers' funds required by the relevant provisions of the Commodity Exchange Act, the Securities Exchange Act of 1934 and the rules and regulations of the CFTC and the SEC is that they be segregated from the funds of the FCM/broker-dealer and may not be used to meet any obligations of the FCM/broker-dealer. A brief description of these provisions is set forth below."

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:25 | 1834072 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

I once read thru the entire SLV prospectus. Every word a lie including "and" and "the".

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 22:11 | 1835305 fattail
fattail's picture

What are the odds the TPTB and the TBTFs are meeting and discussing the tremendous amount of liquidity that will disappear from the capital markets, along with the 5 figure dow offers and 4 figure S&P offers, if not every single penny is covered in those segregated accounts.  If your broker can fuck you like this why would you leave any money in your account, or trade at all.  If I had to bet I would bet on the Fed preserving liquidity.  I expect all of the clients funds will be "found" after being mistakenly transferred during a fat finger episode so common among our broker dealers.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:26 | 1833702 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

I checked out the careers section, but couldn't find a position for bullshit spewer

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:33 | 1833740 Mediocritas
Mediocritas's picture

It's there, but they use the alternative spelling of "CEO".

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:29 | 1833717 wang (not verified)
wang's picture

Rob Mogan of Fulcrum Securities on bloomberg radio just now the majority of Greeks don't want to leave the Euro

 

Pimm Fox is okay but why wouldn't he ask Rob the obvious question? Bloomberg is really strating to suck

 

 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:35 | 1833744 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Better late than never.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:29 | 1833718 SecondComing
SecondComing's picture

So much depends upon how I define "protects."

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:30 | 1833724 mfoste1
mfoste1's picture

hmmmm i wonder how much this type of activity goes on at other firms....

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:31 | 1833729 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

A UBS lowlife can trade away a billion, MFG dives into customer money with no regard or controls except a long standing rule that from what I can tell IS NOT ENFORCED.

THERE ARE NO CONTROLS, there may be rules, but they don't matter anymore.

Corp lies take a back seat to the COUNTRIES/LEADERS WHO LIE.

And people wonder why the world is in a funk.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:32 | 1833737 partimer1
partimer1's picture

Totally agree! no rule of law in this world any more.  we all might need guns.  

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:55 | 1833888 economessed
economessed's picture

Might?  Come to think of it, you might need oxygen too.....

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:32 | 1833735 RSloane
RSloane's picture

He'll walk without a scuffmark. He's tight with Obama, tight with other millionaires. Doubt if he's even losing sleep over this.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:35 | 1833747 unionbroker
unionbroker's picture

good news all your money is  safe in a bank.... bad news it is in somone elses acct.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:39 | 1833762 Elwood P Suggins
Elwood P Suggins's picture

So can we now safely assume that the "MF" in MF Global stands for Missing Funds?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:28 | 1834085 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Massive Fraud, Global.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:50 | 1833800 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

and the U.S. Treasury, FRB, TBTF Bankers, etc., etc.,... have the gonads to tell the EU how to run their financial house -

somethings gotta give,... someones gonna give,... somebody's got to lay down and take one for the team,... somethings gotta give,...

 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:50 | 1833818 vegas
vegas's picture

Hello, thank you for using the MF Global help line.

Press 1 if: you want to discover how to liquidate your bankrupt position,

Press 2 if: you would like to know how much equity you had 1 week ago,

Press 3 if: you would like to purchase equity in MF Global directly from our company,

Press 4 if: you would like to leave a message for our risk management team headed by Jon Corzine,

         4: "I'm sorry, that mailbox is full",

Press 5 if: you would like to speak with a customer service representative from the CME,

         5: "I'm sorry, that line has been disconnected",

Press 6 if: you would like your call to be ignored in the order in which it was received.

"Please select an option, or hang up and wait for somebody with cash to show up."

"Thanks, have a nice trading day."

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:49 | 1833821 DonutBoy
DonutBoy's picture

I can picture a new "Corzine Rider" on a bond. 

If Jon Corzine joins this company in any capacity these bonds become immediately due and payable in full.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 15:51 | 1833849 truthparency
truthparency's picture

 

JP Morgan might be the only ones getting a payout:

 

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-11-01/jpmorgan-seeks-lien-on-all-mf-g...

MF Global, which filed for bankruptcy with assets of $41 billion, has five operating accounts, all with JPMorgan. The bank may have a lien on the entire balance because of so-called setoff rights related to a credit line to MF Global where it acts and agent and lender, the New York-based bank said in a filing.

 “JPMorgan asserts, and the debtors admit, that ‘by virtue of such setoff rights, such funds may be subject to liens in favor of’” JPMorgan, it said.

 

 

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:02 | 1833927 common_sense
common_sense's picture

NOT REGULATION NEEDED, "gREENSPAN SAID", BECAUSE IS GOOD FOR fraud !!!  and now Bernanke is scared??  dont kidding please...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:04 | 1833945 James T. Kirk
James T. Kirk's picture

OK. Let's think about this one. All fiat money is created by simple keystrokes on a computer. Since any monkey can pound on a keyboard, the creation of money is only limited by self-imposed rules set by bankers and politicians. And these rules change as quickly as the changes can be rationalized and "securitized" in some manner. Yet, the actual cost of punching a few computer keystrokes is always zero.

Given how blatantly foolish and intrinsically dishonest this system is, I'll make anyone a simple wager. If I can somehow teleport an impartial jury of 12 from about 100 years ago, and present them the facts of MF Global case, I could get an aquittal on all counts. Easy. Bet you a quintillion "dollars" I could.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:16 | 1834024 monximus
monximus's picture

If you liquidate contracts or equities into cash aren't you more likely to lose that cash (having it divied up equally among all who have cash claims) than any positions?

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:15 | 1834026 Deadpool
Deadpool's picture

Kenneth Ziman, a lawyer for MF Global, at a bankruptcy court hearing in Manhattan.

“To the best knowledge of management, there is no shortfall,” Ziman told U.S. Bankruptcy judge Martin Glenn, who inquired about whether a shortfall in customer accounts would affect the case, citing media reports that hundreds of millions were missing. Ziman said most of MF Global’s U.S. assets are held at its brokerage unit.

The brokerage unit is not part of the main bankruptcy case, in which creditors are trying to recover on their claims against the company. The Securities Investor Protection Corp. has appointed a trustee to liquidate the assets in the brokerage.

guess the rumor was more exciting....

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:48 | 1834194 nothing can go wrogn
nothing can go wrogn's picture

John Corzine, 2011 Letter to shareholders and annual report.

http://media.corporate-ir.net/media_files/irol/19/194911/MF_2011AR/lette...

"Finally, the growing investment demand for commodities beyond traditional end users is a substantial opportunity for MF Global to leverage our longstanding position as a leading broker in these products."

In other words...we're gonna fuck with the commodities markets! Who gives a shit that millions of people rely on an affordable supply of food and energy.

Good riddance assholes!

I haven't been this happy since the day Dominique Strauss Kahn was dragged off an airplane and taken to the police station.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:59 | 1834252 Saucy-Jack
Saucy-Jack's picture

The global economy will eventually be fine. The global financial system will be destroyed.

Iceland has done fine by telling the bankers to fuck off. People will start to be productive in new ways. The collapse is going to be fun. Hot fun.

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:03 | 1834253 Saucy-Jack
Saucy-Jack's picture

Double tap...

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:04 | 1834269 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Sell Mortimer.  Sell!!!!

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 17:36 | 1834444 AndrewJackson
AndrewJackson's picture

You just made my day man. Turn those machines back on.lol

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 18:06 | 1834549 Village Idiot
Village Idiot's picture

del

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