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Surviving The Apocalypse... In A Lifeboat

Tyler Durden's picture


No, this has nothing to do with uber ultra-rehypothecation, fractional reserve banking gone terminally nuts, gold being allowed to rise above $2000, or a second tier Keynesian economist in charge of the Fed's plunge protection team. For the doomsday prepper who has everything, WIRED magazine introduces the water-ready modular bunker (called STATIM pods). Designed to make sure you get through the first wave when the next big Tsunami hits, the 'inland lifeboats' are eerily reminiscent of the Movie '2012' or perhaps 'Waterworld'.

As the seas rise and cities fall, imagine a community of these built and arranged in new flood zones, perhaps for scientists seeking to learn about new littoral urban ecosystems or salvagers prospecting for the remaining treasures of a lost civilization. Every night, the tribe would return to their STATIM homes, sleeping soundly with the confident knowledge that when the next flood happens, everyone will be all right.

Brace for the Apocalypse! Surviving the worst in an inland lifeboat


STATIM Shelter Section

Because the STATIM pods are modular, you can customize them for your particular nightmare scenario.

First things first. Before worrying about food storage or access to clean water during a major disaster, you need to make sure you get through the first wave safely. But never fear: When the next big tsunami hits, a water-ready modular bunker called the STATIM pod aims to float you above the flooding.

Invented by Miguel Serrano, President at Brahman Industries, the STATIM (Storm, Tornado And Tsunami Interconnected Modules) pods are designed to withstand the awesome power of tsunamis, while giving survivors a fighting chance in the aftermath.

Brahman Industries calls the pods “inland lifeboats.” The reason: they’re buoyant and self-righting, so when the floods come, they will bob to the surface. They’re also low-tech, easy to maintain, and easy to construct, which means there’s a possibility for wide deployment. The company’s plan is to install and anchor them in flood-prone areas so when the alarm bells ring, those most at risk can rush to the safety of the pods. Inside, up to 50 people can cling to secure seating arrangements.

Rendering depicting STATIM system in use

It's the end of the world, but this guy is feeling fine.

The biggest issue with rescue-shelter design is always cost. We already know how to make structures that can withstand natural disasters; it’s just incredibly expensive. The key to keeping costs down is using concrete, a cheap and well-understood building material. “We’re addressing a high-priority need with a low tech approach,” says Serrano. When STATIM reaches scale, Serrano aims to offer the 50-person pod at around $1,800 a head.

The tubular hull is made from a series of pre-cast concrete modules. The modules can be created at local factories, shipped separately, and then aligned and winched together on site to create a watertight seal. “Everyone knows how to do this,” says Serrano. According to the company, the assembly process for the pre-cast parts requires about the same amount of knowledge as installing a drain system.

A STATIM pod waits to be assembled

A STATIM pod waits to be assembled.

The pod continues to serve the people inside long after the first wave of disaster. “After Katrina, they spent three weeks just rescuing people with helicopters,” Serrano says. Because the pods are buoyant and equipped with communications devices, rescuers will be able to easily meet up with the pods to tow them away. A boat or helicopter can transport 50 people at a time to safety.

And because the parts are modular, the pods are customizable. By including different segments equipped with all kinds of survival gear, your personal STATIM pod can be modded to your anticipated needs.

The next step, says Serrano, is creating pods that house critical infrastructure. The company has proposed a variation on STATIM called the Genset, which houses working generators. Having survivable power sources would have prevented the Fukushima meltdown, Serrano says, by providing power to the nuclear plant’s critical systems after the tsunami. Other variations include pods with desalination facilities and a version of the pod that can withstand an EMP blast, ensuring that critical electronics would survive a nuclear strike.

Statim Floatation

The eerily calm diagrammatic disaster illustration. Not pictured: STATIM occupants bracing before nature's fury.

While the intention of the STATIM system is that they be temporary shelters, let’s indulge ourselves in a little bit of design fiction for a moment. What about the pod’s potential to facilitate long-term living in environmentally extreme places?

As the seas rise and cities fall, imagine a community of these built and arranged in new flood zones, perhaps for scientists seeking to learn about new littoral urban ecosystems or salvagers prospecting for the remaining treasures of a lost civilization. Every night, the tribe would return to their STATIM homes, sleeping soundly with the confident knowledge that when the next flood happens, everyone will be all right.


As an area becomes picked over, helicopter scouts are dispatched to the horizon to find new fields of discovery. When a suitable destination is discovered, the helicopters return, towing the community to their coordinates. In this way, the group slowly makes their way along America’s flooded coastline, passing by long lost levies and through once thriving port towns. Thanks to an accompanying desalination pod, the group can remain operational away from freshwater for a long, long time.

Back in the present, Brahmin’s disaster-related design pulled in seed funding earlier this year. Serrano says that they anticipate the first demonstration units will be available in early 2014. In the meantime, keep watching the horizon.

STATIM pod exploded view

An exploded view shows how the modules of a STATIM pod are assembled.

Images courtesy of Brahman Industries.


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Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:56 | 2549053 A_S
A_S's picture


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:03 | 2549069 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

This is beyond stupid. There's not a single solvent municipality left these days, yet they're going to spend $1800 a person for a tsunami life-boat?

Only if Benron's buying.

And that's not even until the hit the economy of scale sweet-spot. Early adopters will require the services of GS in order to finance the damn things.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:10 | 2549097 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

Nice, but not as cool as this Zombie Apocalypse House.



Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:12 | 2549107 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

Need 2 feet of concrete between occupants and the outside world for two weeks to thwart radiation following a full scale global nuclear war:

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:28 | 2549141 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



The tubular hull is made from a series of pre-cast concrete modules. 

Hey, baby, wanna check out my survival tube?  It is 7 modules long and several inches thick with a power module in the rear.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:33 | 2549163 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Looks like a giant suppository...Let's try it out on Ben "Dover" Bernanke and see if it fits. Then we can fill it with Banksters, insert, and send him up on the next rocket launch to deep space...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:19 | 2549294 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Put all banksters in there with 1 scuba gear and sink that in the ocean.

call it "social darwinism"

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:42 | 2549347 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

They'll all survive.  Scum floats to the top.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:46 | 2549364 Michael
Michael's picture

I like this one better;

Dome of a Home

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:22 | 2550522 N. B. Forrest
N. B. Forrest's picture

If this is an actual worry of yours, move to Leadville, Colorado.  Elevation 10,000+ feet. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:46 | 2549361 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Will we still be able to lose our gold in a "water ready modular bunker" accident?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:44 | 2549695 Mr. Fix
Mr. Fix's picture

Why would you need both an anchor, and a GPS?

 There obviously counting on at least one of them not to work.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 02:31 | 2550023 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

HAHAHAHA!!! +1000!!! :)

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:35 | 2549670 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Its actually an anti-suppository - a giant pill and the asses are stuffed inside it.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:33 | 2549167 Precious
Precious's picture

... or when you hear the fucking tsunami sirens you can get off your fat ass and go to higher ground.  

Just say'n ...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:21 | 2549299 The Disappointed
The Disappointed's picture

Will we believe them is they say that the bombers and coming?
If missiles were approaching, believe that it be on the news?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:30 | 2549903 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

They wont tell you if the missiles are coming. A Major city choked in gridlock will simply become a messier place and harder to contain with everyone caught in the open.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:36 | 2549175 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'm not sure what pornographic is but I'll know it when I read it. You're pretty close Horseman :->

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:49 | 2549214 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



When things get really wet the bilge pumps fluid from down underneath out the end.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 03:12 | 2550047 prains
prains's picture

made in china

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:13 | 2549109 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

How do they know how long to make the tether?  It works so perfect in the picture. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:28 | 2549145 michael_engineer
michael_engineer's picture

Suspect it would snap with incoming or outgoing debris adding load. A semi truck or warehouse section snagging on tether or on unit would add a lot of surface area to catch the rushing currents going by.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:36 | 2549174 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



My friend just built a surf camp on the beach in the Philippines.  He has some long chains anchored to bedrock with life preservers on the ends.  Clip in and roll the video.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:50 | 2549220 CPL
CPL's picture

How would an engineer even get the chance to test a working model of it? 


Seriously.  The design fault being the tether.   Surfers get creamed assuming the tether on their ankle holds.  Sometime the wave takes the foot.  Water is a powerful force.  Cuts mountains in half, sculpts landscapes and assigns where life starts.


Weird yet.  Why did OracleBoy just buy a Hawaiian island?  Seemed a slightly odd thing to do, like Goldfinger weird.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:54 | 2549388 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Seriously.  The design fault being the tether."

Thats the first thing I noticed. The last thing one wants is to suspended underwater, with hysterical screaming people bouncing off the walls (and you) as the oxygen level depletes, underwater debris crashes into (or through) the hull.

Apparently this is meant to keep you in one place (instead of wisking you away and dropping you at highwater mark) so when (or if) you emerge unscathed you can be the first to step over the dead bodies and begin cleanup operations?

Pretty weird.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:19 | 2549465 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

This too:

"rescuers will be able to easily meet up with the pods to tow them away. A boat or helicopter can transport 50 people at a time to safety."

Not sure that's gonna work with these pilots...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:43 | 2549550 nmewn
nmewn's picture

So in the end, its about gathering up the bodies in the most efficient manner...fifty at a

I dunno, I think I'll take my chances clinging to the downstream side of a palm tree if ever get caught in a tsunami before I'll hop in one of these puppies and have little to no control.

Better yet, I'll stay here in Fla where they don't have them ;-)

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 07:50 | 2550244 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

Once the hull is breached, with chance you dont ever need to gather the bodies... The safety pod becomes the grave pod.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:39 | 2549639 Element
Element's picture

put it in your swimming pool then!  ... 'solved!' ...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 23:02 | 2549746 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

With my luck the water would recede and I'd find myself standing atop the Staten Island garbage dump.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:50 | 2549578 Squid-puppets a...
Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

I thought that, too. Also wondered 'where the f*** are the helicopters going to refuel for their scouting missions'

beyond ridicuous. even us taking the time to flamie this preposterous project is a chronological malinvestment

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:16 | 2549118 NewThor
NewThor's picture

I write movies. So...

I read a lot of stuff based on prophecy...


I see two things: Hyperinflation/economic collapse  and a BIG FUCKING COMET / PLANET in our future.

this is not a joke.


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:34 | 2549170 westboundnup
westboundnup's picture

Yes to the first.  No to the second.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:23 | 2549655 IrritableBowels
IrritableBowels's picture


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 03:09 | 2550046 imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

Planet X?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:50 | 2549202 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

That zombie apocalypse house looks sturdy enough for the apocalypse... until Komrade Samov drops a bunker buster bomb on it and confiscates the gold and silver stored in the basement...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:52 | 2549221 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Drone bait. Anchored.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 04:39 | 2550093 Reptil
Reptil's picture

mmm stands out like a bunker but is actiually made of trusses and plywood.

"inconspicuous" is a good idea, but mobillity even better.

All of these apocalypse "solutions" are nice, but what happens when you step out after the event is "over"?

You're fucked alongside the rest of the environment.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:04 | 2549423 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Some lib politician will say it is a civil right to have it.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:19 | 2549466 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Your correct, all the municipalities are insolvent and there is no way they will buy these things. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:19 | 2549125 Cortez the Killer
Cortez the Killer's picture

Make mine Whites Only

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:38 | 2549183 RobertC
RobertC's picture

...silly fool...

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 01:50 | 2549992 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

Then who will do the actual work of repairing the world after the tsunami?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:35 | 2549172 Gene8696
Gene8696's picture

I'll take two. Can I finance it?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:56 | 2549054 adyaner
adyaner's picture

Tyler knows something we don´t???

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:04 | 2549080 Bizaro World
Bizaro World's picture

Man enters cage.....Cage enters salsa......Sharks in the salsa.....Our shark.....Gonna need a bigger boat...

~ Clerks

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:58 | 2549058 runlevel
runlevel's picture

um.. what

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:05 | 2549088 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Did you see the GPS items in their diagrams?

As if global Apocalypse is going to spare the satellite controllers.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:01 | 2549245 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

And don't forget your 4G iPad, when you go to get saved from the apocalypse.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:48 | 2549369 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

That's what the helicopters are for... "... scouts are dispatched to the horizon to find new fields of discovery."

They'll run on water, of course.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:17 | 2549461 Rollerball
Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:59 | 2549059 tawse57
tawse57's picture

Could be very popular with Hollywood luvvies who live in Malibu on the disappearing beaches.

Having seen the wrecks left behind in Japan I fear a lot of big metal tubes will just get crushed though - but perhaps better than nothing for the Hollywood actor who ends up in his or her own disaster movie.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:04 | 2549079 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Better yet, they all get sucked out into the Pacific Garbage Patch and have to subsist on plastic.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:59 | 2549061 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

I'm told it's 40 cubits long and 8 cubits wide.  And don't forget to bring along a dove.


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:05 | 2549084 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

"What's a cubit?"

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:13 | 2549108 JohnG
JohnG's picture

45.72 cm. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:28 | 2549152 Raisuli
Raisuli's picture


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 01:51 | 2549995 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

How long can you tread water?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:23 | 2549133 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Isn't he that little guy with a bow?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:36 | 2549178 tawse57
tawse57's picture

"What's a cubit?"


A hot bit of Cuban pussy.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:02 | 2549248 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

That depends if it's been hypothecated, rehypothecated or re-re-re-re-re-re-rehypothecated.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:57 | 2549602 bronzie
bronzie's picture

Ah yes, but how many furlongs per fortnight will it travel?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:44 | 2549696 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

depends on how many stones it weighs.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:00 | 2549064 chump666
chump666's picture

That is wild.  I want one

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:01 | 2549066 100pcDredge
Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:46 | 2549211 Matt
Matt's picture

I don't know, does it look like it could take a 40 foot wave from the side?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:01 | 2549068 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Does this mean 2012 was a documentary?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:02 | 2549071 Mike Cowan
Mike Cowan's picture

Noah Ark?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:14 | 2549112 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

Gotti's Ark

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:39 | 2549340 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Actually, Noah's ark was, well, 'ark' shaped.  It was like a cross-section of a UFO.  The shape compensated for the action of the wave front to back and side to side, as well as the spinning motion of the vehicle as the earth spins around the sun.  Whoever tipped him off, were some real technically smart mofos.

If you take a copy of the 'Ufo Crossection' , maybe about 8 or 10 inches across, made out of wood, and spin it, it will spin for a while, come to almost a stop, wobble, and reverse direction. 


Oh, and Noah's real name was Utnapishtim.


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:02 | 2549073 drink or die
drink or die's picture

What a terrible idea, who would actually pay for something that will get crushed in a tsunami like a tin can?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:19 | 2549126 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

Unlikely, now that we have ample video of two large tsunamis and how the water hit in various ways.  Regular cars withstood the impact fine in many cases, they were lifted and carried great distances. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:04 | 2549077 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

Mini Noah's Arks?

What about the animals. the monkeys. elephants and zebras?

This inventor is not environment conscious is he?

Why not invent a staff to split the water in two?

Will we all be in the next version of the Bible a thousand years from now?

Maybe we should send a negotiator to God to help us out with this stuff.  Obama, George Bush, someone?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:43 | 2549201 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture


I don't see any child seats.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:33 | 2549909 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Me neither.

Just try handing out MRE's.

The first night aboard is gonna be stinky as hell. I don't want it.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 07:53 | 2550249 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

Children are a renewable resource, don't you remember?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:04 | 2549078 zaphod
zaphod's picture


Everyone knows the best place to be when the SHTF is far above in a plane, avoids all the nasties happening down below.

Seriously, doesn't anyone watch movies anymore?!?!?! Hello

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:04 | 2549081 SgtShaftoe
SgtShaftoe's picture

It looks kind of like a surfaced submarine, but there's no deck gun. How will you protect yourself from pirates, or sea monsters?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:49 | 2549216 Matt
Matt's picture

$1800 per person for 50 people is the base model. You can easily add another $3600 per person in accessories if you really want to trick it out, to "customize it", to "express yourself". That's where the money is at these days.

Pimp My Survival Raft. 

Yo dawg, I heard you like guns, so we put a deck gun, IN your deck gun, so you can shoot, WHILE you shoot!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 01:54 | 2549997 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

Toilets optional for a small surcharge.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:16 | 2549285 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

There's no windows, either, so who would know what might be 'lurking' outside?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:05 | 2549083 LynRobison
LynRobison's picture

I notice that the "sanitary system" is outside the "collision bulkheads". You had better hope you're not on the pot when you collide with something.  

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:06 | 2549090 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Otherwise known as "when the shit hits the can."

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:06 | 2549624 FubarNation
FubarNation's picture

Oh very well done Sir!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:34 | 2549910 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

And have a extra can with a rim painted red for those with STD's

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:06 | 2549085 El
El's picture

These are so Apocolypse or not, these are great!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:08 | 2549087 AustriAnnie
AustriAnnie's picture

Then when you get on board, the majority of people on board vote to murder the minority in order to increase their chances of survival......

I'm not sure being locked in a small space with a panicked mob is my idea of a survival plan.

But its sorta cool, nevertheless.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:07 | 2549091 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

I notice the designers placed handrails along the waterline, probably so that those of us without $1,800 have something to cling to while we tread water and wait for Godot. A thoughtful touch.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:03 | 2549256 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Indoor seats are only for the 1%, 99% go to handrail please.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:19 | 2549295 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Rofl!  I saw those too! '.....waiting for Godot.....'   -priceless!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:08 | 2549093 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

This is like a stupid Slashdot story.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:41 | 2549195 paulbain
paulbain's picture


Spastica Rex wrote:


This is like a stupid Slashdot story.


I am glad to see that others hereon (ZH) are familiar with Slashdot and some of its useless, "filler" articles. Years ago, I read Slashdot at least an hour per day. Not anymore. I now spend that time on ZH, Seeking Alpha, or the like. Things sure have changed.

-- Paul D. Bain



Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:53 | 2549586 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

I grew up on Slashdot during the late 90's. It used to better, but that is because Socialism was envogue then.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:10 | 2549100 JohnG
JohnG's picture


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:10 | 2549102 Ineverslice
Ineverslice's picture

C'mon man.

Booze cruise maybe ;)

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:12 | 2549106 Will To Live
Will To Live's picture

"Every night, the tribe would return to their STATIM homes"

If the Tsunami hits during the day, your fuct.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:50 | 2549373 Lucky Guesst
Lucky Guesst's picture

During the day all the Brownshirts are busy with chores. No brown shirt? No lifeboat.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:13 | 2549110 Umh
Umh's picture

Is this like golf ball size drones.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:15 | 2549114 Itch
Itch's picture

Fuck that, a pair of flippers and i'll be fine.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:22 | 2549302 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Mankind is due to evolve 'flippers' soon from the FUKU radiation.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:37 | 2549338 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture


You're killing me.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 05:06 | 2550106 Itch
Itch's picture

I suppose you could just grow your toe nails really long = free flippers. There has to be some way of grooming them so they grow out wide as they grow long. I think i seen it before in some amazon documentary, they were using their toenails as shovels to dig up witchetty grubs, even sharpening spears on the on the things. I'll have a think on it.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:17 | 2549121 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

'The Plunge Protection Team' thinking about the people first, wow a moment.

"Well done Potter, you're going big places here at the Fed"

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:50 | 2549374 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Let me guess, you're getting all 'verklempt'?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:18 | 2549123 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Nah, waaaayyyy to stable. Precious Metals owmers need something easy to capsize.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:19 | 2549124 s2man
s2man's picture

I'll take two...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:20 | 2549130 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Its gonna need a longer rope.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:25 | 2549312 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Make sure you get good quality rope.  I lost my silver anchor that way, remember.......

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:21 | 2549132 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Oookkkaayyy.... This is one of the stranger articles I've seen on the Hedge.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:23 | 2549134 working class dog
working class dog's picture

I want to sell somebody my dad's nuclear attack bomb shelter in our basement, maybe I can get an even swap for the pod.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:02 | 2549615 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Does Alicia Silverstone come with it?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:24 | 2549139 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

No no no.

For the ump-teenth time people; in the case of an actual apocalypse the dead are the lucky ones.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:26 | 2549143 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

If it ever gets this bad I'm pouring myself a water glass full of Glenlivet, downing it, and going for one last, spectcular body surf. Comes a time when you just have to say fuck it, I'm throwing in the towel.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:35 | 2549913 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

There is a round with my name on it..

But not before a good stiff drink.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 02:09 | 2550008 i-dog
i-dog's picture

If you carve your name on a round, then put it in your pocket, you'll be safe!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:33 | 2549162 Precious
Precious's picture

... or when you hear the fucking tsunami sirens you can get off your fat ass and go to higher ground.  But that's just me ...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:29 | 2549320 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



Iron Maiden comes to mind.


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:33 | 2549165 g speed
g speed's picture

slow news day?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:34 | 2549171 marco1324
marco1324's picture

'the STATIM (Storm, Tornado And Tsunami Interconnected Modules) pods are designed to withstand the awesome power of tsunamis, while giving survivors a fighting chance in the aftermath.'

After which your remains are poured out and your seat sold to the next sucker.

And I love the claim - Every night, the tribe would return to their STATIM homes, sleeping soundly...

Not in them fucking seats you wont be.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:31 | 2549328 Yes_Questions
Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:36 | 2549177 NumNutt
NumNutt's picture

I want one just for myself, equiped with a large door so I can park my Hummer and two jetskis inside it. And it would need to be outfitted with a large sectional sofa, a 50 inch HD flatscreen, with several game systems, and lots of DVD's, and month supply of cold beer.....

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:40 | 2549187 geologyguy
geologyguy's picture

But where are the .50 cals mounted?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:40 | 2549190 sangell
sangell's picture

Did I detect the odor of 'unsinkable' about these concrete tombs?

I think you could sell more 'hurricane bathyspheres' as a sort of ultimate amusement park ride. A very strong steel sphere with full complement of survival equipment that one would deploy in front of an approaching hurricane. The occupant/s would then bob in the ocean atop 50 foot swells and violent winds as the hurricane swept over you.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:36 | 2549914 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Minus the sea sickness and puking everywhere in the scuppers... oh wait, this thing has no scuppers.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:41 | 2549192 MikeMcGspot
MikeMcGspot's picture

Hey tricky Dick.

Glenlivet is the trick for the preppers guide to the galaxy of arc building.

I've got a nice little one bedroom in Mpls about a 1000 ft, above sea level.

You bring the Scotch and you got a place to stay.

Towels not included, so bring your own.


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:45 | 2549207 dukeness
dukeness's picture

Does it float on small pieces of paper? That's the coming tsunami. Tsunami Bernanke.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 02:16 | 2549213 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

Catch 22 Lifeboat with a ZARDOZ size black hole in it. LMAO that is a familiar masonic spirit that mapped out the market makers timing for the ''builders'' of that pathetic display of fear and loathing in Las Vegas. Lol.

''As your attoney I advise you to look up''

LMAO. ...with a ZARDOZ Kurzwell ending, after a short Krugman middle and a long painfull beginning. Lol.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:55 | 2549227 strangeglove
strangeglove's picture

And I thought i was retarded until i saw this poorly thoughy out seating system

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:59 | 2549240 nmewn
nmewn's picture

It allows for full face plant against the hull when it rolls over...its the latest in centrally planned design ;-)

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:01 | 2549244 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

slewieUndergroundTM bunker, cunningly designed to look like a buried conex container or two can also be painted orange for complete fuking bozos and comes with landscaping and "old shed" garage plans (w/detonation specs);  needless to say it is famous and award-winning...

e-mail tyler;  he is handling the marketing has the pdf for the site preparation and the tax credits to pay for it if you opt for:

  • the lead-lined roof and
  • the smoke-signal and semaphore software for phone modems and slewieSecureTMoptical cable protection and humor codes
Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:23 | 2549308 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Don't forget the EMP screening and deodorant!!!

Bidet's sold separately ;-)

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:02 | 2549249 HD
HD's picture

S.S Botany Bay?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:37 | 2549918 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

S S Botany BAY?



Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:09 | 2549268 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

I'll order '1', please.  Only two seats required, however. One for myself, of course, and one for Bond Girl TANYA ROBERTS at the ripe old age of, say, 22?!


She and I will be the new Adam and Eve. It'll be like Billy Joel's looks and Christy Brinkley's brains. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:18 | 2549290 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



Thats fucking funny right there.

Earth's second great human population spawned from this pairing.


Just wait for what the inbred masters will be like a few centuries down the road.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:09 | 2549269 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture



Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:20 | 2549646 Element
Element's picture

"hey, ya wanna get this thing out of my driveway?"

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:14 | 2549272 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

and we are back to 1950 and the traveling bomb shelter crapola.  Christ, when the shit hits teh fan, its not fucking thunderdome time, its fading into becoming mexico time.  Last I check, the poor were just poor, not drowning.

and does this stupid thing do anything a 5 story building doesnt do?  

Sat, 06/23/2012 - 11:47 | 2553710 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

When China's people are starving, and they call in their trillions of UST debt, and president MittHillJebAyers tells them to go fuck a knothole, you think the Middle Kingdom will go quietly into the night?

Not disagreeing with the financial collapse - that's just a matter of time. But it could easily precipitate other, non-monetary disasters, too.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:14 | 2549279 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



2014 is too late, need to ramp up the demonstration models a hora!


I like the aquatic RVish idea though. 





Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:06 | 2549433 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

The way the wind has been blowing around here as of late, I'll take one with four wheels and a sail, please.  Hopefully I can stay a little ahead of the Tsunami of Sand.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:31 | 2549495 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



+Haboobocalypse vehicles


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:17 | 2549282 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

No thanks. I'm comfortable here in OK at 1200 feet above sea level.

Besides, our biggest problem after the collapse isn't going to be the natural elements. It's going to be the starving people.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:21 | 2549296 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Noah's Turd

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:23 | 2549307 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Manufactured in China?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:30 | 2549322 msjimmied
msjimmied's picture

Bucky had the right idea. Most of the houses built during the last upheaval was on farmland. Flat, manicured, access to water, with roads nearby. That was criminal. Every time you take the easy route, you destroy the structure that wiser ones have built over time.

Think about his domes in tornado alley, I would think the winds would have a harder time finding a corner to use leverage on. I like his car for parking purposes, I still can't parallel park to save my life. 


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:46 | 2549363 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

i see ALOT of seats, but how many toilets does this thing have !

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:00 | 2549408 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Alternate configurations may also include "mobile gas chamber" and "portable mass crematorium"

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