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Surviving The Apocalypse... In A Lifeboat

Tyler Durden's picture





 

No, this has nothing to do with uber ultra-rehypothecation, fractional reserve banking gone terminally nuts, gold being allowed to rise above $2000, or a second tier Keynesian economist in charge of the Fed's plunge protection team. For the doomsday prepper who has everything, WIRED magazine introduces the water-ready modular bunker (called STATIM pods). Designed to make sure you get through the first wave when the next big Tsunami hits, the 'inland lifeboats' are eerily reminiscent of the Movie '2012' or perhaps 'Waterworld'.

As the seas rise and cities fall, imagine a community of these built and arranged in new flood zones, perhaps for scientists seeking to learn about new littoral urban ecosystems or salvagers prospecting for the remaining treasures of a lost civilization. Every night, the tribe would return to their STATIM homes, sleeping soundly with the confident knowledge that when the next flood happens, everyone will be all right.

Brace for the Apocalypse! Surviving the worst in an inland lifeboat

 

STATIM Shelter Section

Because the STATIM pods are modular, you can customize them for your particular nightmare scenario.

First things first. Before worrying about food storage or access to clean water during a major disaster, you need to make sure you get through the first wave safely. But never fear: When the next big tsunami hits, a water-ready modular bunker called the STATIM pod aims to float you above the flooding.

Invented by Miguel Serrano, President at Brahman Industries, the STATIM (Storm, Tornado And Tsunami Interconnected Modules) pods are designed to withstand the awesome power of tsunamis, while giving survivors a fighting chance in the aftermath.

Brahman Industries calls the pods “inland lifeboats.” The reason: they’re buoyant and self-righting, so when the floods come, they will bob to the surface. They’re also low-tech, easy to maintain, and easy to construct, which means there’s a possibility for wide deployment. The company’s plan is to install and anchor them in flood-prone areas so when the alarm bells ring, those most at risk can rush to the safety of the pods. Inside, up to 50 people can cling to secure seating arrangements.

Rendering depicting STATIM system in use

It's the end of the world, but this guy is feeling fine.

The biggest issue with rescue-shelter design is always cost. We already know how to make structures that can withstand natural disasters; it’s just incredibly expensive. The key to keeping costs down is using concrete, a cheap and well-understood building material. “We’re addressing a high-priority need with a low tech approach,” says Serrano. When STATIM reaches scale, Serrano aims to offer the 50-person pod at around $1,800 a head.

The tubular hull is made from a series of pre-cast concrete modules. The modules can be created at local factories, shipped separately, and then aligned and winched together on site to create a watertight seal. “Everyone knows how to do this,” says Serrano. According to the company, the assembly process for the pre-cast parts requires about the same amount of knowledge as installing a drain system.

A STATIM pod waits to be assembled

A STATIM pod waits to be assembled.

The pod continues to serve the people inside long after the first wave of disaster. “After Katrina, they spent three weeks just rescuing people with helicopters,” Serrano says. Because the pods are buoyant and equipped with communications devices, rescuers will be able to easily meet up with the pods to tow them away. A boat or helicopter can transport 50 people at a time to safety.

And because the parts are modular, the pods are customizable. By including different segments equipped with all kinds of survival gear, your personal STATIM pod can be modded to your anticipated needs.

The next step, says Serrano, is creating pods that house critical infrastructure. The company has proposed a variation on STATIM called the Genset, which houses working generators. Having survivable power sources would have prevented the Fukushima meltdown, Serrano says, by providing power to the nuclear plant’s critical systems after the tsunami. Other variations include pods with desalination facilities and a version of the pod that can withstand an EMP blast, ensuring that critical electronics would survive a nuclear strike.

Statim Floatation

The eerily calm diagrammatic disaster illustration. Not pictured: STATIM occupants bracing before nature's fury.

While the intention of the STATIM system is that they be temporary shelters, let’s indulge ourselves in a little bit of design fiction for a moment. What about the pod’s potential to facilitate long-term living in environmentally extreme places?

As the seas rise and cities fall, imagine a community of these built and arranged in new flood zones, perhaps for scientists seeking to learn about new littoral urban ecosystems or salvagers prospecting for the remaining treasures of a lost civilization. Every night, the tribe would return to their STATIM homes, sleeping soundly with the confident knowledge that when the next flood happens, everyone will be all right.

 

As an area becomes picked over, helicopter scouts are dispatched to the horizon to find new fields of discovery. When a suitable destination is discovered, the helicopters return, towing the community to their coordinates. In this way, the group slowly makes their way along America’s flooded coastline, passing by long lost levies and through once thriving port towns. Thanks to an accompanying desalination pod, the group can remain operational away from freshwater for a long, long time.

Back in the present, Brahmin’s disaster-related design pulled in seed funding earlier this year. Serrano says that they anticipate the first demonstration units will be available in early 2014. In the meantime, keep watching the horizon.

STATIM pod exploded view

An exploded view shows how the modules of a STATIM pod are assembled.

Images courtesy of Brahman Industries.

 


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Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:56 | Link to Comment A_S
A_S's picture

lol

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:03 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

This is beyond stupid. There's not a single solvent municipality left these days, yet they're going to spend $1800 a person for a tsunami life-boat?

Only if Benron's buying.

And that's not even until the hit the economy of scale sweet-spot. Early adopters will require the services of GS in order to finance the damn things.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:10 | Link to Comment sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

Nice, but not as cool as this Zombie Apocalypse House.

 

 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:12 | Link to Comment Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

Need 2 feet of concrete between occupants and the outside world for two weeks to thwart radiation following a full scale global nuclear war:

http://thespiritoftruth.blogspot.com/2009/05/russias-secret-war-plans.html

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:28 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The tubular hull is made from a series of pre-cast concrete modules. 

Hey, baby, wanna check out my survival tube?  It is 7 modules long and several inches thick with a power module in the rear.


Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:33 | Link to Comment krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Looks like a giant suppository...Let's try it out on Ben "Dover" Bernanke and see if it fits. Then we can fill it with Banksters, insert, and send him up on the next rocket launch to deep space...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:19 | Link to Comment AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Put all banksters in there with 1 scuba gear and sink that in the ocean.

call it "social darwinism"

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:42 | Link to Comment Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

They'll all survive.  Scum floats to the top.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:46 | Link to Comment Michael
Michael's picture

I like this one better;

Dome of a Home

http://www.domeofahome.com/

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 09:22 | Link to Comment N. B. Forrest
N. B. Forrest's picture

If this is an actual worry of yours, move to Leadville, Colorado.  Elevation 10,000+ feet. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:46 | Link to Comment Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Will we still be able to lose our gold in a "water ready modular bunker" accident?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:44 | Link to Comment Mr. Fix
Mr. Fix's picture

Why would you need both an anchor, and a GPS?

 There obviously counting on at least one of them not to work.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 02:31 | Link to Comment Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

HAHAHAHA!!! +1000!!! :)

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:35 | Link to Comment tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Its actually an anti-suppository - a giant pill and the asses are stuffed inside it.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:33 | Link to Comment Precious
Precious's picture

... or when you hear the fucking tsunami sirens you can get off your fat ass and go to higher ground.  

Just say'n ...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:21 | Link to Comment The Disappointed
The Disappointed's picture

Will we believe them is they say that the bombers and coming?
If missiles were approaching, believe that it be on the news?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:30 | Link to Comment HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

They wont tell you if the missiles are coming. A Major city choked in gridlock will simply become a messier place and harder to contain with everyone caught in the open.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:36 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'm not sure what pornographic is but I'll know it when I read it. You're pretty close Horseman :->

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:49 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

When things get really wet the bilge pumps fluid from down underneath out the end.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 03:12 | Link to Comment prains
prains's picture

made in china

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:13 | Link to Comment Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

How do they know how long to make the tether?  It works so perfect in the picture. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:28 | Link to Comment michael_engineer
michael_engineer's picture

Suspect it would snap with incoming or outgoing debris adding load. A semi truck or warehouse section snagging on tether or on unit would add a lot of surface area to catch the rushing currents going by.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:36 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

My friend just built a surf camp on the beach in the Philippines.  He has some long chains anchored to bedrock with life preservers on the ends.  Clip in and roll the video.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:50 | Link to Comment CPL
CPL's picture

How would an engineer even get the chance to test a working model of it? 

 

Seriously.  The design fault being the tether.   Surfers get creamed assuming the tether on their ankle holds.  Sometime the wave takes the foot.  Water is a powerful force.  Cuts mountains in half, sculpts landscapes and assigns where life starts.

 

Weird yet.  Why did OracleBoy just buy a Hawaiian island?  Seemed a slightly odd thing to do, like Goldfinger weird.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:54 | Link to Comment nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Seriously.  The design fault being the tether."

Thats the first thing I noticed. The last thing one wants is to suspended underwater, with hysterical screaming people bouncing off the walls (and you) as the oxygen level depletes, underwater debris crashes into (or through) the hull.

Apparently this is meant to keep you in one place (instead of wisking you away and dropping you at highwater mark) so when (or if) you emerge unscathed you can be the first to step over the dead bodies and begin cleanup operations?...lol.

Pretty weird.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:19 | Link to Comment krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

This too:

"rescuers will be able to easily meet up with the pods to tow them away. A boat or helicopter can transport 50 people at a time to safety."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4_13xYlgfY

Not sure that's gonna work with these pilots...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:43 | Link to Comment nmewn
nmewn's picture

So in the end, its about gathering up the bodies in the most efficient manner...fifty at a time...lol.

I dunno, I think I'll take my chances clinging to the downstream side of a palm tree if ever get caught in a tsunami before I'll hop in one of these puppies and have little to no control.

Better yet, I'll stay here in Fla where they don't have them ;-)

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 07:50 | Link to Comment Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

Once the hull is breached, with chance you dont ever need to gather the bodies... The safety pod becomes the grave pod.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:39 | Link to Comment Element
Element's picture

put it in your swimming pool then!  ... 'solved!' ...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DccVdzmP43U&feature=related

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 23:02 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

With my luck the water would recede and I'd find myself standing atop the Staten Island garbage dump.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:50 | Link to Comment Squid-puppets a...
Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

I thought that, too. Also wondered 'where the f*** are the helicopters going to refuel for their scouting missions'

beyond ridicuous. even us taking the time to flamie this preposterous project is a chronological malinvestment

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:16 | Link to Comment NewThor
NewThor's picture

I write movies. So...

I read a lot of stuff based on prophecy...

AND

I see two things: Hyperinflation/economic collapse  and a BIG FUCKING COMET / PLANET in our future.

this is not a joke.

 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:34 | Link to Comment westboundnup
westboundnup's picture

Yes to the first.  No to the second.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:23 | Link to Comment IrritableBowels
IrritableBowels's picture

Sources?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 03:09 | Link to Comment imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

Planet X?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:50 | Link to Comment John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

That zombie apocalypse house looks sturdy enough for the apocalypse... until Komrade Samov drops a bunker buster bomb on it and confiscates the gold and silver stored in the basement...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuniKsBxZ10

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:52 | Link to Comment IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Drone bait. Anchored.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 04:39 | Link to Comment Reptil
Reptil's picture

mmm stands out like a bunker but is actiually made of trusses and plywood.

"inconspicuous" is a good idea, but mobillity even better.

All of these apocalypse "solutions" are nice, but what happens when you step out after the event is "over"?

You're fucked alongside the rest of the environment.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:04 | Link to Comment surf0766
surf0766's picture

Some lib politician will say it is a civil right to have it.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:19 | Link to Comment Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Your correct, all the municipalities are insolvent and there is no way they will buy these things. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:19 | Link to Comment Cortez the Killer
Cortez the Killer's picture

Make mine Whites Only

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:38 | Link to Comment RobertC
RobertC's picture

...silly fool...

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 01:50 | Link to Comment Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

Then who will do the actual work of repairing the world after the tsunami?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:35 | Link to Comment Gene8696
Gene8696's picture

I'll take two. Can I finance it?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:56 | Link to Comment adyaner
adyaner's picture

Tyler knows something we don´t???

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:04 | Link to Comment Bizaro World
Bizaro World's picture

Man enters cage.....Cage enters salsa......Sharks in the salsa.....Our shark.....Gonna need a bigger boat...

~ Clerks

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:58 | Link to Comment runlevel
runlevel's picture

um.. what

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:05 | Link to Comment CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Did you see the GPS items in their diagrams?

As if global Apocalypse is going to spare the satellite controllers.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:01 | Link to Comment Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

And don't forget your 4G iPad, when you go to get saved from the apocalypse.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:48 | Link to Comment Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

That's what the helicopters are for... "... scouts are dispatched to the horizon to find new fields of discovery."

They'll run on water, of course.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:17 | Link to Comment Rollerball
Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:59 | Link to Comment tawse57
tawse57's picture

Could be very popular with Hollywood luvvies who live in Malibu on the disappearing beaches.

Having seen the wrecks left behind in Japan I fear a lot of big metal tubes will just get crushed though - but perhaps better than nothing for the Hollywood actor who ends up in his or her own disaster movie.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:04 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Better yet, they all get sucked out into the Pacific Garbage Patch and have to subsist on plastic.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 18:59 | Link to Comment Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

I'm told it's 40 cubits long and 8 cubits wide.  And don't forget to bring along a dove.

 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:05 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

"What's a cubit?"

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:13 | Link to Comment JohnG
JohnG's picture

45.72 cm. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:28 | Link to Comment Raisuli
Raisuli's picture

Riiiiight!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 01:51 | Link to Comment Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

How long can you tread water?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:23 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Isn't he that little guy with a bow?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:36 | Link to Comment tawse57
tawse57's picture

"What's a cubit?"

 

A hot bit of Cuban pussy.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:02 | Link to Comment Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

That depends if it's been hypothecated, rehypothecated or re-re-re-re-re-re-rehypothecated.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:57 | Link to Comment bronzie
bronzie's picture

Ah yes, but how many furlongs per fortnight will it travel?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:44 | Link to Comment tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

depends on how many stones it weighs.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:00 | Link to Comment chump666
chump666's picture

That is wild.  I want one

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:01 | Link to Comment 100pcDredge
Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:46 | Link to Comment Matt
Matt's picture

I don't know, does it look like it could take a 40 foot wave from the side?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:01 | Link to Comment Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Does this mean 2012 was a documentary?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:02 | Link to Comment Mike Cowan
Mike Cowan's picture

Noah Ark?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:14 | Link to Comment Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

Gotti's Ark

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:39 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Actually, Noah's ark was, well, 'ark' shaped.  It was like a cross-section of a UFO.  The shape compensated for the action of the wave front to back and side to side, as well as the spinning motion of the vehicle as the earth spins around the sun.  Whoever tipped him off, were some real technically smart mofos.

If you take a copy of the 'Ufo Crossection' , maybe about 8 or 10 inches across, made out of wood, and spin it, it will spin for a while, come to almost a stop, wobble, and reverse direction. 

 

Oh, and Noah's real name was Utnapishtim.

 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:02 | Link to Comment drink or die
drink or die's picture

What a terrible idea, who would actually pay for something that will get crushed in a tsunami like a tin can?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:19 | Link to Comment Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

Unlikely, now that we have ample video of two large tsunamis and how the water hit in various ways.  Regular cars withstood the impact fine in many cases, they were lifted and carried great distances. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:04 | Link to Comment cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

Mini Noah's Arks?

What about the animals. the monkeys. elephants and zebras?

This inventor is not environment conscious is he?

Why not invent a staff to split the water in two?

Will we all be in the next version of the Bible a thousand years from now?

Maybe we should send a negotiator to God to help us out with this stuff.  Obama, George Bush, someone?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:43 | Link to Comment Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDRENZ?

I don't see any child seats.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:33 | Link to Comment HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Me neither.

Just try handing out MRE's.

The first night aboard is gonna be stinky as hell. I don't want it.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 07:53 | Link to Comment Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

Children are a renewable resource, don't you remember?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:04 | Link to Comment zaphod
zaphod's picture

Nonsense,

Everyone knows the best place to be when the SHTF is far above in a plane, avoids all the nasties happening down below.

Seriously, doesn't anyone watch movies anymore?!?!?! Hello

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:04 | Link to Comment SgtShaftoe
SgtShaftoe's picture

It looks kind of like a surfaced submarine, but there's no deck gun. How will you protect yourself from pirates, or sea monsters?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:49 | Link to Comment Matt
Matt's picture

$1800 per person for 50 people is the base model. You can easily add another $3600 per person in accessories if you really want to trick it out, to "customize it", to "express yourself". That's where the money is at these days.

Pimp My Survival Raft. 

Yo dawg, I heard you like guns, so we put a deck gun, IN your deck gun, so you can shoot, WHILE you shoot!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 01:54 | Link to Comment Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

Toilets optional for a small surcharge.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:16 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

There's no windows, either, so who would know what might be 'lurking' outside?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:05 | Link to Comment LynRobison
LynRobison's picture

I notice that the "sanitary system" is outside the "collision bulkheads". You had better hope you're not on the pot when you collide with something.  

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:06 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Otherwise known as "when the shit hits the can."

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:06 | Link to Comment FubarNation
FubarNation's picture

Oh very well done Sir!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:34 | Link to Comment HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

And have a extra can with a rim painted red for those with STD's

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:06 | Link to Comment El
El's picture

These are so cool...lol. Apocolypse or not, these are great!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:08 | Link to Comment AustriAnnie
AustriAnnie's picture

Then when you get on board, the majority of people on board vote to murder the minority in order to increase their chances of survival......

I'm not sure being locked in a small space with a panicked mob is my idea of a survival plan.

But its sorta cool, nevertheless.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:07 | Link to Comment Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

I notice the designers placed handrails along the waterline, probably so that those of us without $1,800 have something to cling to while we tread water and wait for Godot. A thoughtful touch.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:03 | Link to Comment Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Indoor seats are only for the 1%, 99% go to handrail please.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:19 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Rofl!  I saw those too! '.....waiting for Godot.....'   -priceless!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:08 | Link to Comment Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

This is like a stupid Slashdot story.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:41 | Link to Comment paulbain
paulbain's picture

 

Spastica Rex wrote:

=============================

This is like a stupid Slashdot story.

=============================

I am glad to see that others hereon (ZH) are familiar with Slashdot and some of its useless, "filler" articles. Years ago, I read Slashdot at least an hour per day. Not anymore. I now spend that time on ZH, Seeking Alpha, or the like. Things sure have changed.

-- Paul D. Bain

paulbain@PObox.com

 

 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:53 | Link to Comment NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

I grew up on Slashdot during the late 90's. It used to better, but that is because Socialism was envogue then.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:10 | Link to Comment JohnG
JohnG's picture

WTF?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:10 | Link to Comment Ineverslice
Ineverslice's picture

C'mon man.

Booze cruise maybe ;)

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:12 | Link to Comment Will To Live
Will To Live's picture

"Every night, the tribe would return to their STATIM homes"

If the Tsunami hits during the day, your fuct.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:50 | Link to Comment Lucky Guesst
Lucky Guesst's picture

During the day all the Brownshirts are busy with chores. No brown shirt? No lifeboat.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:13 | Link to Comment Umh
Umh's picture

Is this like golf ball size drones.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:15 | Link to Comment Itch
Itch's picture

Fuck that, a pair of flippers and i'll be fine.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:22 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Mankind is due to evolve 'flippers' soon from the FUKU radiation.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:37 | Link to Comment Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

You're killing me.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 05:06 | Link to Comment Itch
Itch's picture

I suppose you could just grow your toe nails really long = free flippers. There has to be some way of grooming them so they grow out wide as they grow long. I think i seen it before in some amazon documentary, they were using their toenails as shovels to dig up witchetty grubs, even sharpening spears on the on the things. I'll have a think on it.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:17 | Link to Comment ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

'The Plunge Protection Team' thinking about the people first, wow a moment.

"Well done Potter, you're going big places here at the Fed"

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:50 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Let me guess, you're getting all 'verklempt'?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:18 | Link to Comment cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Nah, waaaayyyy to stable. Precious Metals owmers need something easy to capsize.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:19 | Link to Comment s2man
s2man's picture

I'll take two...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:20 | Link to Comment nmewn
nmewn's picture

Its gonna need a longer rope.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:25 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Make sure you get good quality rope.  I lost my silver anchor that way, remember.......

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:21 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Oookkkaayyy.... This is one of the stranger articles I've seen on the Hedge.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:23 | Link to Comment working class dog
working class dog's picture

I want to sell somebody my dad's nuclear attack bomb shelter in our basement, maybe I can get an even swap for the pod.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:02 | Link to Comment shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Does Alicia Silverstone come with it?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:24 | Link to Comment cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

No no no.

For the ump-teenth time people; in the case of an actual apocalypse the dead are the lucky ones.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:26 | Link to Comment RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

If it ever gets this bad I'm pouring myself a water glass full of Glenlivet, downing it, and going for one last, spectcular body surf. Comes a time when you just have to say fuck it, I'm throwing in the towel.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:35 | Link to Comment HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

There is a round with my name on it..

But not before a good stiff drink.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 02:09 | Link to Comment i-dog
i-dog's picture

If you carve your name on a round, then put it in your pocket, you'll be safe!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnFQkB0D0ww

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:33 | Link to Comment Precious
Precious's picture

... or when you hear the fucking tsunami sirens you can get off your fat ass and go to higher ground.  But that's just me ...

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:29 | Link to Comment Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

Iron Maiden comes to mind.

 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:33 | Link to Comment g speed
g speed's picture

slow news day?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:34 | Link to Comment marco1324
marco1324's picture

'the STATIM (Storm, Tornado And Tsunami Interconnected Modules) pods are designed to withstand the awesome power of tsunamis, while giving survivors a fighting chance in the aftermath.'

After which your remains are poured out and your seat sold to the next sucker.

And I love the claim - Every night, the tribe would return to their STATIM homes, sleeping soundly...

Not in them fucking seats you wont be.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:31 | Link to Comment Yes_Questions
Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:36 | Link to Comment NumNutt
NumNutt's picture

I want one just for myself, equiped with a large door so I can park my Hummer and two jetskis inside it. And it would need to be outfitted with a large sectional sofa, a 50 inch HD flatscreen, with several game systems, and lots of DVD's, and month supply of cold beer.....

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:40 | Link to Comment geologyguy
geologyguy's picture

But where are the .50 cals mounted?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:40 | Link to Comment sangell
sangell's picture

Did I detect the odor of 'unsinkable' about these concrete tombs?

I think you could sell more 'hurricane bathyspheres' as a sort of ultimate amusement park ride. A very strong steel sphere with full complement of survival equipment that one would deploy in front of an approaching hurricane. The occupant/s would then bob in the ocean atop 50 foot swells and violent winds as the hurricane swept over you.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:36 | Link to Comment HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Minus the sea sickness and puking everywhere in the scuppers... oh wait, this thing has no scuppers.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:41 | Link to Comment MikeMcGspot
MikeMcGspot's picture

Hey tricky Dick.

Glenlivet is the trick for the preppers guide to the galaxy of arc building.

I've got a nice little one bedroom in Mpls about a 1000 ft, above sea level.

You bring the Scotch and you got a place to stay.

Towels not included, so bring your own.

:>)

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:45 | Link to Comment dukeness
dukeness's picture

Does it float on small pieces of paper? That's the coming tsunami. Tsunami Bernanke.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 02:16 | Link to Comment BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

Catch 22 Lifeboat with a ZARDOZ size black hole in it. LMAO 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qksz72Xtpwc

...now that is a familiar masonic spirit that mapped out the market makers timing for the ''builders'' of that pathetic display of fear and loathing in Las Vegas. Lol. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_BoAXopS54

''As your attoney I advise you to look up'' http://bible.cc/mark/13-14.htm 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVzoOYUR5QQ

LMAO. ...with a ZARDOZ Kurzwell ending, after a short Krugman middle and a long painfull beginning. Lol.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3q-XEl6Y34&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL1FD7A6654E787ECA

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:55 | Link to Comment strangeglove
strangeglove's picture

And I thought i was retarded until i saw this poorly thoughy out seating system

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 19:59 | Link to Comment nmewn
nmewn's picture

It allows for full face plant against the hull when it rolls over...its the latest in centrally planned design ;-)

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:01 | Link to Comment slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

slewieUndergroundTM bunker, cunningly designed to look like a buried conex container or two can also be painted orange for complete fuking bozos and comes with landscaping and "old shed" garage plans (w/detonation specs);  needless to say it is famous and award-winning...

e-mail tyler;  he is handling the marketing has the pdf for the site preparation and the tax credits to pay for it if you opt for:

  • the lead-lined roof and
  • the smoke-signal and semaphore software for phone modems and slewieSecureTMoptical cable protection and humor codes
Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:23 | Link to Comment nmewn
nmewn's picture

Don't forget the EMP screening and deodorant!!!

Bidet's sold separately ;-)

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:02 | Link to Comment HD
HD's picture

S.S Botany Bay?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 00:37 | Link to Comment HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

S S Botany BAY?

SS BOTANY BAY!!!

WE GOTTA GO!

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:09 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

I'll order '1', please.  Only two seats required, however. One for myself, of course, and one for Bond Girl TANYA ROBERTS at the ripe old age of, say, 22?!

 

She and I will be the new Adam and Eve. It'll be like Billy Joel's looks and Christy Brinkley's brains. 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:18 | Link to Comment Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

Thats fucking funny right there.

Earth's second great human population spawned from this pairing.

 

Just wait for what the inbred masters will be like a few centuries down the road.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:09 | Link to Comment Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

"NOAH"   

"RIGHT"

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 22:20 | Link to Comment Element
Element's picture

"hey, ya wanna get this thing out of my driveway?"

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:14 | Link to Comment crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

and we are back to 1950 and the traveling bomb shelter crapola.  Christ, when the shit hits teh fan, its not fucking thunderdome time, its fading into becoming mexico time.  Last I check, the poor were just poor, not drowning.

and does this stupid thing do anything a 5 story building doesnt do?  

Sat, 06/23/2012 - 11:47 | Link to Comment BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

When China's people are starving, and they call in their trillions of UST debt, and president MittHillJebAyers tells them to go fuck a knothole, you think the Middle Kingdom will go quietly into the night?

Not disagreeing with the financial collapse - that's just a matter of time. But it could easily precipitate other, non-monetary disasters, too.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:14 | Link to Comment Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

2014 is too late, need to ramp up the demonstration models a hora!

 

I like the aquatic RVish idea though. 

 

 

 

 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:06 | Link to Comment ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

The way the wind has been blowing around here as of late, I'll take one with four wheels and a sail, please.  Hopefully I can stay a little ahead of the Tsunami of Sand.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:31 | Link to Comment Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

+Haboobocalypse vehicles

 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:17 | Link to Comment dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

No thanks. I'm comfortable here in OK at 1200 feet above sea level.

Besides, our biggest problem after the collapse isn't going to be the natural elements. It's going to be the starving people.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:21 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Noah's Turd

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:23 | Link to Comment sudzee
sudzee's picture

Manufactured in China?

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:30 | Link to Comment msjimmied
msjimmied's picture

Bucky had the right idea. Most of the houses built during the last upheaval was on farmland. Flat, manicured, access to water, with roads nearby. That was criminal. Every time you take the easy route, you destroy the structure that wiser ones have built over time. 

http://a-place-to-stand.blogspot.com/2009/04/buckminster-fullers-40-year-old.html

Think about his domes in tornado alley, I would think the winds would have a harder time finding a corner to use leverage on. I like his car for parking purposes, I still can't parallel park to save my life. 

 

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 20:46 | Link to Comment Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

i see ALOT of seats, but how many toilets does this thing have !

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 21:00 | Link to Comment icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Alternate configurations may also include "mobile gas chamber" and "portable mass crematorium"

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