TeenBook: FB Drops Under $20 For First Time Ever

Tyler Durden's picture




 

"Surely not" screams California's Comptroller. "Surely, Yes" sneers Knight Capital's self-aware destructo-capital algo. Faceberg just broke a monumental barrier, trading back into the teens for the first time - somewhere the Winkelvi are bathing in a salty pool of Schadenfreude.

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Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:45 | 2672720 Neethgie
Neethgie's picture

It will drop to below where manchester united IPO, then its a full on race to the bottom

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:48 | 2672740 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Shows ya what can happen when the main driving force of a business is ego rather than a profit model.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:31 | 2673004 AnonymousCitizen
AnonymousCitizen's picture

<-- Not Surprised

<-- Surprised

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:40 | 2673038 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

 Right now in the California Governor's restroom.........................

"Jerry, about the bullet train.   Facebook is taking it in the shorts as you well know."

"I'm well aware of that.   We'll just build it to whatever point we run out of cash."

"Ok, but that's not gonna take it very far."

"I think halfway to Bakersfield is still going pretty far."

 

 

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:54 | 2673116 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

It would appear that Governor Moonbeam's state fiscal condition is riding on little but a wing and a prayer. Indeed, he has nothing more to ride, until "magic" bullet train service to the Romaine lettuce fields of Bakersfield is inaugurated.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 15:18 | 2673354 TruthInSunshine
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  'Like' this comment

  tweet this

 

Facebook's new muppet pitch: 

"We realized you loved us at $42, so here's why you should love us even more in the tweens, and lower still.

 

Folks, let's discuss cost averaging..."

 

Facebook = an already dying business model in terms of being able to effectively monetize any activity of its users, who not only tune out advertising on facebook, but are beginning to shun facebook as a social network platform altogether (for a variety of deeply entrenched and deeply trending reasons).

Poor California. They bet the ability to make this year's state employee payroll on facebook @ $35+.


Zuckerberg: Yeah so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard

Zuckerberg: Just ask.

Zuckerberg: I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses, SNS

[Redacted Friend's Name]: What? How'd you manage that one?

Zuckerberg: People just submitted it.

Zuckerberg: I don't know why.

Zuckerberg: They "trust me"

Zuckerberg: Dumb fucks

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 14:59 | 2673409 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

...All you need the train to reach is FEMA REGION IX Re-education camp. And the BONUS: We'll cut the costs of the project in half because The return tracks will not be necessary.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 15:15 | 2673468 Tippoo Sultan
Thu, 08/02/2012 - 14:16 | 2673231 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

My prediction...when faceplant is selling for 24 cents a share the Winklevoss twins will buy the company using their settlement money and then demote Suckerberg to janitor

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 15:17 | 2673482 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

That would be funny. I'm betting the CIA will take it back to private first, though. I'm sure they've got some spending money laying around somewhere.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:50 | 2672751 DosZap
DosZap's picture

It will drop to below where manchester united IPO, then its a full on race to the bottom

Hahahaha, with a 41% decrease in GM earnings, I wonder where the $600 million they pledged will come from?.

ObaMao's investment of our tax dollars isn't paying off.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 15:01 | 2673414 surf0766
surf0766's picture

communism never works

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:03 | 2672843 OpenEyes
OpenEyes's picture

Facebook = Pets.com

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:06 | 2672862 SwimmininNawlins
SwimmininNawlins's picture

facebook = (mup)pets.com

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 14:22 | 2673254 augustusgloop
augustusgloop's picture

i would say FB = YHOO

Business (attach scare quotes if you like) overwhelmed by shifting models -> YHOO's muddled portal / mail / search (or whatever they were trying to be) eaten by GOOG : FB's fustian social model by mobile, etc.  

Zuckerbook will eke it out as a low billion dollar company.

 

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 16:19 | 2673801 Moon Pie
Moon Pie's picture

FB < YHOO + MySpace

MySpace = negative equity

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:16 | 2672914 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

PE = $5 minus the damage control minus the tarnished more at shit image minus the fake 80% bot-gamed ad rev = FUCKBOOK $2.89

 

And I'm being fucking generous here!

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:19 | 2672941 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

Creamedbook.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:29 | 2672993 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

What does a muppet sheeple look like? Elmo+Sheep=Sheeple Muppet? 

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:30 | 2672999 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

You mean like while bent over a tree stump?

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 14:17 | 2673237 vortmax
Thu, 08/02/2012 - 14:22 | 2673259 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

And MDB is still dollar cost averaging

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:46 | 2672723 marz929
marz929's picture

WHERE IS JON CORZINE?

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:50 | 2672748 bdc63
bdc63's picture

... last seen drinking Cristal poolside in the Hamptons ... why do you ask?

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 15:17 | 2673477 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Rumor has it that The Hon. Jon S. Corzine is preparing a bid to buy PFG & Knight Capital (once it files for BK and discharges creditor claims) out post-Bankruptcy proceedings, and then combine them into an entity that will petition for and receive primary dealer status from the NYFRB.

 

#TheHonorableJonCorzineKeepsPimpHandStrong

Former United States Senator (D-NJ), Former Governor of New Jersey, Former CEO of Goldman Sachs, Former CEO of MF Global (a former Primary Dealer), and prominent Obama Bundler.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:54 | 2672788 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

His latest facebook update was "I'm wayyyyyyyyyy ahead of the curve!"

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:05 | 2672852 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

Where is the PPT?  Doesn't this have some important implications?

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:45 | 2673078 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Downtown Lower Manhatten, not that I've been checking.....

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:46 | 2672724 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

another $18 to fall and I'm buying.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:53 | 2672777 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

I have had standing BUY orders at $1.82 since the IPO...at this rate they'll fill by Labor Day.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:46 | 2672889 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

This is looking like Bukakibook.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 16:08 | 2673743 Thoth
Thoth's picture

No, I would probably actually use Bukakibook

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 15:20 | 2673501 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Well, that's only about $3 more than it's worth.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 14:23 | 2673268 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Optimist! 

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:46 | 2672726 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Winkelvi, indeed.  The smug satisfaction is palpable.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:46 | 2672727 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

no mojo

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:47 | 2672730 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

1 FB share < 1 oz silver

 

As die Welt Turns

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:47 | 2672731 drink or die
drink or die's picture

reposting for lols:

 

Meanwhile Theophilus Hodges, a 36-year-old property manager, stopped into an E*Trade branch in downtown Chicago on Friday morning specifically to open an account to buy Facebook shares, he said.

"If it wasn't for Facebook I wouldn't be here," he said as he left the branch to go to his bank and transfer money into his new account. "I missed out on Groupon when it went public, so I'm not going to miss the boat this time."

Mr. Hodges said he plans to invest $10,000 in Facebook shares—including $4,500 of his own money and $5,500 from his mother.

Mr. Hodges expressed confidence in Mark Zuckerberg as Facebook's CEO and said he isn't worried about Mr. Zuckerberg being young. "To me, he's a genius. You know, he created something for the whole world... Everything is social now. The world is a different place with Facebook," he said.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:49 | 2672743 Neethgie
Neethgie's picture

i feel sorry for him,  because he got suckered into the wall street sales team. he is a victim and usefull idiot for wall street.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:03 | 2672841 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

 ...there is an old saying about a Fool and his [and Mom's] money.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:33 | 2673017 aerojet
aerojet's picture

I wonder if he got kicked out of his Mom's basement after losing so much of her money?

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:37 | 2673028 whstlblwr
whstlblwr's picture

Not everyone is a trader. I remember when they told me not to buy WFM at $20.00

I have facebook, but this is a fucking cliff dive.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 15:22 | 2673510 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

She can't! He's the only retirement option she has left.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:50 | 2672753 malikai
malikai's picture

Suckerberg appreciates Mr. Hodges' support.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:55 | 2672792 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Mr. Hodges and his Mother confused quantity with quality, perception with reality, and gambling with saving.

 

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 12:58 | 2672811 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Mr. Hodges said he plans to invest $10,000 in Facebook shares—including $4,500 of his own money and $5,500 from his mother.

I need to invite this guy to my poker game.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 14:26 | 2673280 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Why? He won't have any more money to lose.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:00 | 2672819 Fred Hayek
Fred Hayek's picture

Too bad it never ocurred to Mr. Hodges that he knew *nothing* about this that everyone else did not also know. 

Yet, he was somehow convinced that it was going to rocket upward in price.  On what basis?  Great value that no one else had seen?  Determined how? 

 

 

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:15 | 2672828 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

The fact that I remember that exact passage tells me that I haven't been drinking as heavily as I thought I have been. 

Reading zerohedge definitely has increased my alcohol intake. 

 

It's funny how he say's he "missed out on groupon."  When facebook IPO'ed, groupon had already lost over 50% of its initial listing price.  You can't get any dumber than this guy...

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 13:09 | 2672885 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

 

> "To me, he's a genius. You know, he created something for the whole world...

 

"This is a drug, for the world, to give worms to ex-girlfriends!"

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ__KkzH1U8&feature=related

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