This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
Today's Joke Du Jour Comes From Italy's Biggest Bank, UniCredit
As we have been claiming for months now, Italian banks will have no choice but to raise capital to prevent their undercapitalized status from stirring the insolvent bank vigilantes and making them into the next MF, or Lehman, or pick your favorite bankrupt bank metaphor. Today we get confirmation of this, after Reuters reported that Italy's UniCredit will proceed with a €4 to €7 billion capital raise. So far so good. Where it gets somewhat entertaining is the disclosure of who it is that will be "advising" UniCredit on its capital raise. Per Reuters, "Mediobanca and Bank of America-Merrill Lynch are advising Italy's UniCredit on a capital increase seen in a range of between 4 billion and 7 billion euros, although no formal mandate has been given yet to form a consortium for the operation, sources close to the matter said on Thursday. The sources said a decision on the size of the capital hike depended on a series of factors, including whether UniCredit would be allowed to calculate convertible notes worth some 3 billion euros as core capital." Did they just say Mediobanca and Bank of America advising another bank on... a capital raise? Uh, pardon our ignorance, but shouldn't Mediobanca and Bank of America be focusing on their own capitalization first before advising someone else? Does this mean that Bernie Madoff has somehow magically made his way to the Treasury Borrowing Advisory Committee and is now advising Tim Geithner on how to raise debt? Or that Jon Corzine is running for US Attorney General? Frankly, nothing would surprise us any more... Presenting the YTD performance of all three banks.
»
- 8969 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
Maybe they are just passing on Uncle Warren's cell number.
Paging Dr. Buffy...paging Dr. Buffy.
Hahahahaha what a fecking Joke ...
The new reality is: Which Bank Is more bankrupt than the next???
And SARKO... Has sATAN taken on Human Form again???
without Qaddafi to leand to them they are as good as dead. put a fork in 'em.
there are times when even the blind can see that the emporer has no clothes.
Lowest common denominator or misery loves company?
I scratch your balls you scratch mine
Scratch? Did you mean "claw?" Or "grasp in quiet desperation?"
It's like two drowning dudes at sea (who can't swim and are bleeding), each is going use the other for support. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Or as I've been known to say of some mergers - "let's tie these two rocks together and see if they float better now!".
Well, looks like its all good enough to comfortably park the DOW up over magical 12k, +300 or so on the day of course. All is well, america eats blue pills like M&M's.
Deeply captured ObaMao's overlords (Jamie D, PPT, Primary Dealer Honeybadgers) will throw the White House Kitchen sink at the Dow to keep it above 12k prior to November 2012.
I look at reality and then I look at the stock market. What a disconnect. How is this not obvious to most at this point?
You missed the memo: Reaity has been cancelled until further notice.
Oh okay! Then I will take the Smilodon tomorrow instead of the Mercedes. Why not? And why not take a shortcut - so it will be a flying Smilodon that shits gold nuggets. And then I unleash the Balrog at the ECB building in Frankfurt - great.
And on my way home James Joyce, Fernando Pessoa and Aeschylus will join me - all riding on flying unicorns and we'll drink Guinness and German beer and French wine until we drop dead...yeah, that'll be great!
The smilodon will need a special dental care plan, or else just a lot of floss. It might eat the unicorns and drink all your beer. Damn that reality, it is persistent, isn't it? Maybe Mother Market is alive and well afterall, churning and working it out her own way. It does seem like if you have enough money and influence, you can suspend reality. I do have faith though, blowback will be a bitch.
The truth reality is hidden behind 9 world most important banks in the worlod, we only see and hear what they want we must see and hear.
They are living comfortably, and we are suffering all their manipulation of the information.
Fucking manipulation of financials !!! We go up, they win, we go down, they win...even with a crash, they always win... so...what to do? try to be lucky...
Who said to Papandreu to go for a referendum? Someone is preparing himself to go down, just in case, and in the meantime, they are winning going UP apparently without reason...
Congress should just send a $250B check to Greece.
Or as surprising as throwing a community organizer into the White House who has less management experience than a manager at Mc Donalds! Sorry I know this is an insult to the finely tuned management program that Mc Donalds probably has!
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-09-21/lloyd-s-of-london-posts-697-mil...
U shud look at Unicredit Italian mortgage backed covered bonds. Or any other Italian covered bonds as a matter of fact. Those pieces of shit trade abt 100 bp TIGHTER than Italian Gubbmint. Same is true for most spanish covered bonds. Especially in the spanish case one might have a little doubt abt the quality of the collateral considering the burst of the massive housing bubble and 22% official unemployment rate... I guess there's a reason why ECB will restart it's covered bond monetization program...
The "landscape":
Unicredit -> B of A -> Blind -> Blind -> Blind -> Blind
__________DEBT IMPLOSION CLIFF________________
... Jeffries ...
... MF Global ...
... Dexia ...
... Enron ...
... Greece ...
... Italy ...
... Spain ...
... USA ...
...those money supply growth numbers Tyler showed us earlier (this week or last...I am a bit permanently hazy these days!) tell the whole story. Banker Ben is printing big time. All assets priced in a depreciating (devaluing) currency will rise. Hence equities go up.
Clearly a case of the bland leading the bland.
As a lot of money will have to come from Italian investors given UniCredit's hard earned reputation abroad, it makes sense to include an Italian bank in the group of advisors - although obviously this provokes laughter.
OT: Rumor that Turkey is pulling out of NATO and withdrawing application for EU "membership."
Anyone got anything that can confirm? Alleged announcement at 5pm tonight.
Another rumor of an unofficial "relief" convoy headed from Turkey to Gaza.
It's not a false rumor until AP and CNBC carry it as breaking news
Rumor that Turkey is pulling out of NATO and withdrawing application for EU "membership."
This is bull.
Another rumor of an unofficial "relief" convoy headed from Turkey to Gaza.
This is true. They are due to arrive on Friday.
Not another bankruptcy in the making.
fuckit...buy calls
Unicredit (controlled by the Italian MAFIA) is running out of money?
No, they just gambled away their clients money. Same as MF-Global.
Today's goosing is for tomorrows Groupon IPO. Gotta keep the market floating to get that POS out and sold to pigs.
OT- Weird. Just hit Youtube with 'Economic collapse' - says NO NEW VIDEOS put up today? WTF? WOW, is it being sensored that much already? Only ones are from greater than 24 hours ago? Seriously? Check it out.
Check out the you tube phrase "Freedomain radio" At his core the guy is libertarian philosopher, but he is pretty awesome as a pshychologist/historian for the players involved. And he pegged the greek drama 4 days ago. There is some stuff he says that I am not smart enough to understand (like most stuff here. no snarc, I am trying to learn econ/finance/tax so you guys should know that I dont claim to be smarter than the bulk of you). But his core tool set that he uses to argue are 1. non-agression/violence and 2. politics stinks, but he gets to pretty high truths from just that foundation without racism, xenophobia, jingoism, sexism, conspiracy theory, etc.
Long story short, he is pretty solid on his macro-econ analysis and does cover current topics.
Aaww....Don't sweat it, boy's & girl's...We got 'em on the Run!...
They'er runnin out of bullet's...Remember, patience is a virtue.
Forget about the market's today...JUST NOISE!
On a bright note: Unicredit is raising capital. The not so bright note is that it is quite likely not enough.
People, unfortunately in our complacency and our debt financed spending on just one more thing for money we didn't have we forgot that debt is a moody bitch when the going gets tough. We have voted incompetent morons into the government arena on both side of the Atlantic. We have joyfully voted for them when they promised to give us more, MORE MORE MORE and yet even MORE. Now when we can't have more of course we want to get rid of them. I really wonder; does that mean people will vote responsibe next time? Or will they just keep on voting for the hand-out monkies? It's a given isn't it? Same shit, different monkey.
The bankers; well, what about the bankers? Yeah, sure there are plenty of crooks in this sphere but it is the same everywhere. Corruption and stealing is a bottom's up problem. We did not complain when they borrowed us all the money we didn't need. What has changed? Did something go wrong?
The problem is just bigger at "the top" as the monies at stake are higher. People all over the world cheat to gain benefits, and we have been doing it since before some bright mind came up with the wheel. We are humans after all. They have played their aces to perfection, up until this point. From here it most likely will be downhill though. Like any proper human in a power position greed has taken over and clouded the mind. People can only take so much. Regulators will have to take action as they will simply not be elected unless they take action. But, people got to stand up a little tougher than this occupy wall street movement is. I guess that will take care of itself when the anger grows out of any proportion. It is bound to happen.
But we got to give it to them; they had one hell of a ride with our money.
So the big banks are unsure as to how much actual money they need in order to cover the money they pretend to have? hmm, I guess finance is more art than science.
This is a big joke, truly it is. As on poster put it they are all trying to show who is less bankrupt than the other guy. This whole game is about leveraging to infinity and keeping the debt ball rolling to the same place. You can't have nothing backing nothing and then leveraging it. I think as more are starting to wake up and see the whole forest, they are slowly but quietly getting out of the markets for cold hard cash or resources. When you can't even trust your own certified and govt. bonded futures broker (like MF) using client money to back their position. Then it's time to get out, because the whole banking system is in banana republic mode. You can't trust nobody with your money anymore.
umm, Raising capital by seeing if they can count convertible notes.
That's not raising capital, that accountancy gimmicks!
My dumbass bad.
Since we all know that all the banking system is a fiat based illusion of credit created as computer inputs, it shouldn't come as a surprise when we look inside this hollow institutions and find out that there is no gold in their vaults.
And let's remember that Unicredit does include former Banco di Sicilia, merged in Capitalia first and in Unicredit later.