From A Trader's Diary...

Tyler Durden's picture

Ever wonder what a page in the daily diary of a "sophisticated" institutional trader looks like? Wonder no more. This is currently making the rounds...

Dear Diary:

  • 7.00 – 8.00 Mkt rallies on Chinese Buying Italian Bonds – But they were’nt!
  • 8.00 – 9.00 Mkt Crashes as Greek Electricity/Tax Office Strikes & therefore default looms.
  • 9.00 – 11.00 Mkt moves sideways to down as BNP in WSJ says that nobody will lend them $’s and nobody likes them. – But then they deny it!
  • 11.30 – 12.30 Mkt rallies like crazy because Sarko & Merkel to make an announcement – except nobody knows what that the annoucment is for.
  • 12.40 – 12.50 Mkt Crashes because they’re not going to make announcement
  • 12.56 Figure out how to explain to a child that ‘yes dear, there’s a lot of clever people who think very hard & make very bright decisions in the stock market business!

h/t zeropower

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malikai's picture

Lol! Welcome to the rubicon!

DefiantSurf's picture

Rubicon? this is a minefield !

Long-John-Silver's picture

More like a semi-controlled Jungle landing without a clearing in sight.

malikai's picture

"Is that anti-air-artillery down there alongside that strip? Are you sure we should land there? Those guys look pretty mean and what are those flashes? Um, it looks like they're throwing baseballs at us.. Wait, what was that?!"

Triggernometry's picture

There's nothing like tea-bagging a hot LZ

malikai's picture

To me, a hot LZ is 36-24-26. :)

prophet's picture

$300 million cable to speed London-New York trades


September 13, 2011, 9:10 AM

A $300 million underwater cable is being laid between London and New York to speed up financial transactions by 6 milliseconds, or about 10%, the Telegraph reports.

It’s the first such cable since the dot-com boom.

Privately-held Hibernia Atlantic expects to sell high-speed bandwidth on the cable to hedge funds, foreign exchange traders and other trading firms once it’s completed in 2013.

By some estimates, each millisecond saved can boost hedge fund’s annual bottom line by $100 million.

The 3,741 mile cable attempts to follow the great circle route between the two cities as closely as possible.

-Tom Bemis

MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

$300 million may be a lot of money to average day traders, but trust me its nothing to the pros. The reason some people are such successful traders is that they aren't afraid to think big.

SheepDog-One's picture

Theyll be thinking 'big losses' real soon, and this time they wont be saved when they cry and throw their tantrums to be rescued again...not this time!

dizzyfingers's picture

Quote: this time they wont be saved Unquote

I'll bet you're wrong....

No one has to be responsible and take their consequences anymore. Everyone gets rescued...especiall those who screw everyone else.

Idiot Savant's picture

That's funny sheepdog; put the bottle down and get some sleep.

Uncle Remus's picture

Idiot Savant - that's like a Bubba Savant except with most of their own teeth.

He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

Its just daily noise now, the new 'normal'.

Hello Traders, goodbye  Investors.

WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Welcome to the Con - Rube!

Gully Foyle's picture

Patrick Bateman: I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

 Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe.

gangland's picture

order me a j&b and a bellini be right back im going to the men's room.

TGR's picture

WALLST - I'm sure glad you are being sarcastic there. I thought for one disturbing moment you were actually being serious.

WALLST8MY8BALL's picture


Thisson's picture

"I have to return some videotapes."

blueRidgeBoy's picture

I must be the only one who doesn't get the joke. Why does this link to Christian Bale's IMDB page?  Must be an inside joke among the conspiracy theorists...

gangland's picture

brad easton ellis american psycho book better than movie, yeah we  conspiracy theorists like to read, idiot.

blueRidgeBoy's picture

Oh, NOW I get it.  A pop culture reference to some piece of pulp-fiction "literature" and its Hollywood adaptation.  So you're demonstrating your superiority by recognizing a quote from the movie.  Got it.  Jackass.

StychoKiller's picture

"Call me Ishmael."  (or Wooden Bender!)

caerus's picture

i have to return some videotapes.

gangland's picture

“I'm resourceful,” Price is saying. “I'm creative, I'm young, unscrupulous, highly motivated, highly skilled. In essence what I'm saying is that society cannot afford to lose me. I'm an asset.” Price calms down, continues to stare out the cab's dirty window, probably at the word FEAR sprayed in red graffiti on the side of a McDonald's on Fourth and Seventh. “I mean the fact remains that no one gives a shit about their work, everybody hates their job, I hate my job, you've told me you hate yours. What do I do? Go back to Los Angeles? Not an alternative. I didn't transfer from UCLA to Stanford to put up with this. I mean am I alone in thinking we're not making enough money?”

lincolnsteffens's picture

I love my job. I used to make a modest living at it. Now the only way to keep from going under is to figure out what is true vs. utter bullshit in the financial and political arenas.

gangland's picture

but isnt that interesting in itself and how are you dealing with that technically? it seems like sort of a progression if not evolution in sociodynamics. what i'm saying is thati think youre experiencing the rebalancing of the quantitative with the qualitative. what do you think?

bid the soldiers shoot's picture

This ain't the Rubicon. This is the Styx.

ZeroPower's picture


Trading decisions solely based on.... rumors :)


malikai's picture

Buy the rumor? Sell the rumor. Fuck it, just sell.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Welcome to the world of machines, for machines and by machines. We messy humans will soon be reduced to technicians and street sweepers. You know..........the (machine) service culture.

Opps, looks like we already are.

malikai's picture

As a machine fixing slave all of my working life, I resemble that statement! Sadly, though, the machines do not show me any love in return. I would go on strike to protest, but I don't want them to begin to view me as fuel.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Machine # 1: malikai seems to be malfunctioning again.

Machine # 2: Third time this month and only half way through.

Machine # 1: Shall we grind his bones to make our bread?

Machine # 2: Too much gristle. Feed him to the lions instead.

Jim in MN's picture
Ray Bradbury. The Veldt "George, I wish you'd look at the nursery."
"What's wrong with it?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then."
"I just want you to look at it, is all, or call a psychologist in to
look at it."
"What would a psychologist want with a nursery?"
"You know very well what he'd want." His wife paused in the middle of
the kitchen and watched the stove busy humming to itself, making supper for
"It's just that the nursery is different now than it was."
"All right, let's have a look."
Careless Whisper's picture

The Careless Whisper Morning Report


Zambia Uses Chinese Renminbi In Day To Day Transactions

German Minister Says Facebook Threatens Data Privacy; Urges Avoidance,1518,785712,00.html

Chase Official On "Chase Burning" Painting; "It's Scary",0,686...

Manny Ramirez Arrested For Bitch Slapping Wife; He Says It Was A Swing And A Miss

Last Nites Debate In 100 Seconds

9/11 Conspiracy In 4 Minutes




SheepDog-One's picture

Banksters not too keen on paintings of banks burning? Well, they should be worried, people are beating the elites guards in the streets as we speak!

Chile - Rioting Injures 50 - Mostly Police Injured - YouTube

ramirez's picture


This video made my day! Hope to see some similar activity all over Europe too.

caerus's picture

that's just manny being manny

Gully Foyle's picture

Careless Whisper

Hasn't China pumped a lot of money into Africa? And where that money is aren't there very large communities of Chinese who seem to be very insular. It comes as no surprise that Zambia has adopted the currency of a principle investor who also just happens to be colonizing, to some extent, wherever they invest.

snowball777's picture

Alex Shaefer should work on some personal portraiture. I'd bid.

The Burning Moynihan.

Lloyd on Fire.

Jamie Flame-on.

StychoKiller's picture

How about something surreal, like "The Bernank's Melting Printing Press?"  :>D

island's picture

"9/11 Conspiracy In 4 Minutes" is excellent. 

Thanks for the link.

Real Estate Geek's picture

"Chase Burning" is nice, but the artist made a mistake choosing oil as his medium.  His vision would be conveyed much better as performance art.

LoneStarHog's picture

Sheesh! Just post a list of the times and headlines on ZeroHedge if you want a roadmap of market Schizophrenia. 

MFL8240's picture

The markets were not designed to be a Casino, they were designed for INVESTMENTS.  Of course, Investments with the help of the computer are now limited to 5 seconds in and out.  I would prefer all traders get the hell out, along with this corrupt government (GovtSacks) and let the markets seek their own level on P/E earnings and real, not artificial government induced growth and manipulation.


LongBallsShortBrains's picture

What are you talking about?

Casinos are Investments Sheeeesh!

SheepDog-One's picture

He left out the stock slide on Zerodamus speech?

Heres what the banksters see, their guards getting their asses beat in street riots. This time in Chile.

Chile - Rioting Injures 50 - Mostly Police Injured - YouTube

ZDRuX's picture

Nothing to do with product pricing.. this is just a big zoo.