The Truth Behind Juncker's Lies: In The Second Largest Greek City, 1250 Companies Have Shuttered In 2012

Tyler Durden's picture


European viceroy of various neo-colonial territories Jean-Claude Juncker, best known for being a self-professed pathological liar, just concluded a press conference in which he did what he does best: lie. Here is a sampling of the soundbites along with our commentary:

  • EU'S JUNCKER SAYS TRUTH IS GREECE SUFFERS CREDIBILITY CRISIS - coming from a pathological liar, this one is our favorite
  • EU'S JUNCKER SAYS GREECE MUST OPEN UP CLOSED PROFESSIONS.  Chimneysweep? Bootblack? Telegraph Operator? Tax Collector? Prosecutor? Uncorrupted muppet?
  • EU'S JUNCKER SAYS BALL IS IN GREEK COURT; IS LAST CHANCE. The ball will be repoed to the ECB shortly
  • EU'S JUNCKER SAYS BALL IS IN GREEK COURT; not for long: ball will soon be repoed to the ECB

And much more propaganda. Here is the truth. According to Greek Thema, in Thessaloniki, the second-largest city in Greece, so far in 2012, an unprecedented 1,250 companies have shut down. This means no jobs, no tax revenues, no money in circulation. A complete and total economic collapse.

So let us explain: while Greece and Europe may engage in endless check kiting Ponzi schemes: such as the most recent one, whereby Greece promises to pay Germany by issuing bills, bought by its banks, which in turn are repoed to the ECB via the ELA, with the cash used by the country to pay Germany and the ECB, even as Germany's contingent liabilities get more massive by funding the ECB's capital, the reality is that unless someone does some work, and creates real wealth, real money, instead of merely shuffling electronic cash from Point A to Point B, while the only thing increasing are German contingent liabilities, aka systemic debt, absolutely nothing will change.

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Wed, 08/22/2012 - 12:58 | 2727823 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

haha. Tyler, you have Juncker's number down

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:02 | 2727843 macholatte
macholatte's picture




[trying to confuse an android]
Captain Kirk: Everything Harry tells you is a lie. Remember that. Everything Harry tells you is a lie.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Now listen to this carefully, Norman. I am... lying.
Norman: You say you are lying, but if everything you say is a lie, then you are telling the truth, but you cannot tell the truth because everything you say is a lie, but you lie... You tell the truth but you cannot for you lie... illogical! Illogical! Please explain! You are human. Only humans can explain their behavior! Please explain!
Captain Kirk: [giving him the same statement the androids have repeatedly given him several times before] I am not programmed to respond in that area.



Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:19 | 2727898 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

@ slaughterer, LOL, + 1

Yes, excellent article on the LIAR Juncker.  

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:29 | 2727947 Roandavid
Roandavid's picture

At least he's man enough to admit it.

"When it becomes serious you have to lie."  Jean Claude Juncker

But we already knew that.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:33 | 2727966 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Who wants to buy a Greek island with me?

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 14:24 | 2728168 Michael
Michael's picture

And much more propaganda. Here is the truth. According to Greek Thema, in Thessaloniki, the second-largest city in Greece, so far in 2012, an unprecedented 1,250 companies have shut down. This means no jobs, no tax revenues, no money in circulation. A complete and total economic collapse.

You quoted me, Thanks.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 15:07 | 2728366 Roandavid
Roandavid's picture

I'm in!

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 14:27 | 2728179 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

Greece is imploding as we speak. More will come.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 20:00 | 2729039 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

No kidding he does.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 12:58 | 2727825 piliage
piliage's picture

But but...Draghi said they will fix it... I feel so used.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:30 | 2727956 Lohn Jocke
Lohn Jocke's picture

Used? You clearly haven't been throught the TSA lately. THAT will leave you feeling used.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:50 | 2728034 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture


Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:31 | 2727961 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

While you are being used I thought I would see if you would get me a beer...


At least I'm willing to say please...still no kiss though.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:01 | 2727838 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Crunch time for the hated rally.  

Watch FOMC disappoint, watch silver plunge.  

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:02 | 2727840 The Wizard of Oz
The Wizard of Oz's picture


Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:03 | 2727845 HedgeFun
HedgeFun's picture

"Measures" and "Efforts" are barbaric (yet traditional) words.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:03 | 2727846 HedgeFun
HedgeFun's picture

"Measures" and "Efforts" are barbaric (yet traditional) words.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:03 | 2727850 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

Liar shit heads Juncker and Netanyahu: STFU

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:05 | 2727853 youngman
youngman's picture

I bet those 1200 business´s were government sponsered nepotism Brother in laws greek wedding clean-up business....that was just flagged by the tax collector as never having paid taxes...ever....and was shut down...and never had a wedding to work on..but had a government subsidy paid directly to the brother in law...

They had their its time to pay...or starve....starve and die is better for the enviroment and global the beaches will be less crowded..

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:07 | 2727854 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

"And much more propaganda. Here is the truth. According toGreek Thema, in Thessaloniki, the second-largest city in Greece, so far in 2012, an unprecedented 1,250 companies have shut down. This means no jobs, no tax revenues, no money in circulation. A complete and total economic collapse."



For a site that professes contempt for economics and PhD economists, there is rather too much interest in economics and its collapse.

It doesn't matter.  Only oil matters because if there are no jobs and no tax revs and no this and no that, how do they pay for the 400,000 barrels per day that moves food to the grocery store shelves?

At $115 Brent, this is $138 million per month to feed people.  How's that supposed to happen?

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 14:08 | 2728110 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

At $115 Brent, this is $138 million per month to feed people.  How's that supposed to happen?

Like this:



Wed, 08/22/2012 - 14:15 | 2728141 CrashisOptimistic
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Those reports are interesting and have nothing to do with oil.

Only oil matters.  Not nat gas.  Oil.  Oil fuels the trucks that bring food to your grocery store inland from the coastline in Greece.  They run on diesel.

Oil.  Oil.  Oil.  Focus and stay focused.  It decides everything.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 14:10 | 2728126 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Donkeys for Gold?

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:06 | 2727856 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture


Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:06 | 2727861 AGORACOM
AGORACOM's picture

Greece is already into full cannibal mode.  Tenants (residential and commercial) are not paying rent .... Not 1/2 .... 0 ..... and stuffing whatever cash they have left into refrigerators.

The country has outright failed to provide a solution other than taking whatever they can from each other, starting with the government who LAUGHABLY is proposing further pension and pay cuts.

The worst is yet to come in Greece.  Riots are around the corner.

That Juncker and the media have the balls to pretend this is nothing more than some re-balancing of the books is proof positive the scumbags are buying time to simply divvy up Greece for themselves and toss the carcass back into the Aegean.

Greek people may have been grossly irresponsible but they are not stupid.  They will burn it down first.

George .... The Greek .... From Canada

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:11 | 2727873 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Greece is leaving the EURO in September.  Prepare accordingly. 

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:39 | 2727996 Negro Primero
Negro Primero's picture

...already posted, but this song is soooo beautiful!

The Happenings - See You in September
Wed, 08/22/2012 - 20:25 | 2729074 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"and stuffing whatever cash they have left into refrigerators."


So that's where the term "Cold Hard Cash" came from.  I would have never guessed that it was Greek!

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:08 | 2727866 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

"And much more propaganda. Here is the truth. According to Greek Thema, in Thessaloniki, the second-largest city in Greece, so far in 2012, an unprecedented 1,250 companies have shut down. This means no jobs, no tax revenues, no money in circulation. A complete and total economic collapse."


So, in other words, a total socialistic success and central-planning at it's finest.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:23 | 2727916 john39
john39's picture

more along the lines of a fascist success...  the global parasite corporations will take over from here... once all small independent businesses are destroyed. 

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:09 | 2727871 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

And just today the iron chancellor said "Europe needs credibility". Well, all Europe has is this. ROFLOL! Everytime u think the €-cult can't sink lower one of the stooges steps from the shadows and opens his/her mouth.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:17 | 2727888 Venerability
Venerability's picture

For goodness sake, Tyler, isn't that really tremendously Bullish?

That sounds like a Nadir to me.

And since Markets are six months ahead, having reached the Nadir is the best possible starting point.


Wed, 08/22/2012 - 17:45 | 2728811 css1971
css1971's picture

No actual blood yet.


Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:18 | 2727892 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

'absolutely nothing will change'. Which is exactly what TPTB want.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:21 | 2727908 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

Greece, the lamprey eel of the EU.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:26 | 2727934 asteroids
asteroids's picture

Everything gets fixed if people have jobs and are productive. Nah, lazy selfish bastard find it easier to print than use their brains and hands.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 20:17 | 2729060 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"Nah, lazy selfish bastard find it easier to print than use their brains and hands."


OK, isn't that an oxymoron?  They recognize the need to print (use their brains) and then click on the drop-down menu and select "Print", or just use control-P (which requires the use of hands).

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:29 | 2727946 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

Therefore they hate the internet and try to get it under their control: Truth is spread, they are called what they are and their agenda is unmasked.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:34 | 2727974 timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

That lying bastard from Luxemburg is the best example that those eurocrats live in a fiat world and they have no clue what the underlying problems are and how to fix them.  

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:46 | 2728017 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

This interplay between the ECB, EU, IMF, member states and zombie countries is more akin to paper hanging, since no real funding is ever going to materialize, primarily because no matter how many cocksucking rat bastard politicos are involved in trying to propogate this fraud, the laws of economics are unassailable.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:46 | 2728022 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Work, ha, you want us to do work. Why work when I can take a year off with pay, direct deposit, and from time to time answer a few questions to a govt. employee who is happy to have any job via the Internet. And Greece, to late to work there. Nothing to work for. Poor Bastards. Bankers screwed them, and now the people pay the price, not the bankers.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:51 | 2728038 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Based on those statements, things have got to be REALLY serious in Greece now. 

What bs - but just a warm up: Merkel is next, then Hollande. Shovels ready for the press conferences to come. 

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 13:57 | 2728056 Zola
Zola's picture

Isn't that what entrepreneurs in Greece could have written :


" I cannot work under the terms of Directive 10-289 ( this government) though not for the reasons its perpetrators intended. I know that their abolition of all scientific research does not mean a damn to you or me , and that you would want me to continue. But I have to quit, because i do not wish to succeed any longer.

I do not wish to work in a world that regards me as a slave. I do not wish to be of any value to people. [...]

And this is the thing that i cannot take, even were i able to take all the rest: that in oder to give them an inestimable benefit, we should be made martyrs to the men who, but for us, could not have conceived of it [...]

I'm tired of helping those who despise me,

Sincerely yours,

Quentin Daniels" 

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 14:10 | 2728124 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

Paul's Letter to the Thessolonians: "4:13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who have died, so that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope."

Junker's Letter to the Thessolonians. "But we do not want you to be informed, plebs, about those who are dieing, so that you may not blame us as others do who have no hope."

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 15:14 | 2728391 Reptil
Reptil's picture

Gold? Gold?
The gold is supposedly in NY, with the FED. But it might've been on Alpha-Reticulae, when the poop hits the ventilator.

ooh... you mean our gold?

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 16:53 | 2728693 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

Who's gold, this is the question...
Perhaps a timeshare scheme is necessary?

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 15:17 | 2728401 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Brilliant article -- sliced and diced so nicely...

I felt like destroying something Beautiful

Well not exactly beautiful...

Juncker...Where in the hell do they get these fucking names?

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 15:23 | 2728420 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture

This shit is bordering on surreality, in the sense that I have yet to see a charade-like situation such as this, that has up to now being managed with a such brazen use of bullshitry and deception, towards the broader public.

And it's not as if the ignorant populace doesn't understand this time, since it affects every single one of them on a personal level, yet they were all made to believe that there is actually no fucking solution for this 100% artificial fuck-up, and that complacency 'till a divine solution is acceptable.

Despairingly, the masses seem to revolt too late, and only after bullshit-feeding by politicians reaches critical mass.

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 17:42 | 2728805 css1971
css1971's picture

It'll take some people swiinging by ropes before it gets fixed. The politicos can't imagine this happening so they'll just keep fucking everyone over till it does.


Wed, 08/22/2012 - 15:40 | 2728485 walcott
walcott's picture

damn! how many campanies can there be in the ancent city or a country smaller than Chicago - Greece.


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