UBS' Advice On What To Buy In Case Of Eurozone Breakup: "Precious Metals, Tinned Goods And Small Calibre Weapons"

Tyler Durden's picture

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Obadiah's picture

spot on silverbullion

The false christ will come first and decieve many in "fixing" this bs, he will be the savior ( yeah right).  The True Christ comes at the 7th trump not the 6th. 

How the heck could the fake christ fool people if they are already gone??  Unfortunately this is the twisted form of the Word that is taught in 95% of all churches.

The Truth is out there and that all we need.  Truth!

WhiteNight123129's picture

And so what, what if we are trapped in deflation? Devaluation would be in order, I would not mind having a devaluation 1932 style with your Gold getting boosted from 20 USD to 35 actually, then buy frantically stocks trading at 5 times earnings. When there is disorderly debt destruction, you can´t lose on Gold (at least at the current price). The only way you lose if the indebted nations of the world 62% of world GDP can find export markets on Mars or if massive new super cheap energy is found in the next 3-5 years.


VyseLegendaire's picture

Ladies and gents, the wheels have come off the bus.

Oh regional Indian's picture

Cue Neo/Bullock to the rescue.


j0nx's picture

Oh if I only had a dollar for every time I have read that on a forum...

The wheels will come off at a time when you least expect it.

Cheyenne's picture

I'm inclined to agree.

Think about MF Global. Respected casino players who had shitloads of chips vaporize in the casino's safe, which isn't free, are being told they might get 2/3 of their stake back.

A couple days later, casino management meets and passes a custodial rule that the pit poss who's missing was so dead-set against.

Yeah, it's fair to say the gloves are off and that you'd better figure out a life on your own.

akak's picture

Robot Traders Mom said:

You have to be a complete imbecile to have not seen this coming.

Or your son.

Teamtc321's picture

I thought Robo was a chick>......geeze. Ruined the whole titty pic for me aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. lol. 

akak's picture



Every ZHoo down in ZHooville liked the free market a lot,
but Robot, who lived just north of ZHooville - did not.
Robot hated integrity, and transparency --- no teasin'.
Now, please don't ask why; no one quite knows the reason.
It could be, perhaps, that his stops were too tight.
Or it could be that his commodity funds were too light.
But I think that the most likely reason of all...
may have been that his gold stash was two sizes too small.

akak's picture

Dr. ZHivago

(Who was, as you know, a poet as well as a doctor.)

1000pips's picture

There, there everybody--everybody calm down. No one is going to have a revolution or anarchy. Everything is fine; the Euro will be here for hundreds of years. Gold wil never be a currency, it is nice for watches and jewelry, that is all-oh, and coin collecting.
Don't let this propaganda ruin your Christmas with your family.
2012 will be a huge Bull market rally. Trade accordingly.

UP Forester's picture

Since the Anti-Tilson fund did so nicely, you want to be the new anti-fund?

Ghordius's picture

now I'm not sure if your's is irony - while I do believe that the EUR will stay for a while, I also believe we'll see some zeros added on the bills, as on the USD bills, so don't mind me if I prefer to have some gold...

WhiteNight123129's picture

Someone has been socializing too much with MDB.

SnobGobbler's picture

awwww, see they warned us... they seem to have prepped slightly deeper underground.

MFL8240's picture

Most people are not as sophisticated as you and I and they go to work, take care of the kids and trust that their government will be truthful with them.  We were all taught to believe that people were by and large good and while not perfect, most would like to believe that companies especially banks would be safe and sound, honest and run with integrity.  In the past 10 years, this has all changed with greed the overriding theme and illegal actions gone unpunished.  Politicians once honorable are now liars and thieves and yet many good and honest people have not adapted.  So, while I tend to agree with you on the state of affairs in the US economy, it’s better to continue to reinforce the need for people to shelter themselves and finances than suggest they are clueless and have no sympathy for them.  Better to help them change by sending articles that help them make some sound choices before this mountain blows.

Chuck Walla's picture

 I will have zero sympathy for the unprepared. You have to be a complete imbecile to have not seen this coming.


Hell-OOOOO, Occupy!!!!   Romney and Obama Voters, Too!

WhiteNight123129's picture

Pff, No big deal, collapses happen all the time, look at the French revolution and Weimar, it will pass, their might some really bad outcome but so what? I guess we have to be prepared to profit from it and be fatalists... Humanity runs in circle and repeat the same mistakes again and again and again and again and again and again.... until we are replaced by computers.... Alea jacta est!

MonsterBox's picture

"As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool returns to his folly"  -Proverbs 26.11

apparently, we've been "repeating" for quite a while.

as a species, we deserve what we get.

The Big Ching-aso's picture



This Europacalypse Not Yet Now suspense is killing me.   Oops.   Maybe that was the wrong word to use.


ACP's picture

Metalocalypse is more like it.

Have some now, same some for later.

stacking12321's picture

that's not very brutal at all.

i'd rather cut off my ding dong than admit that booze isn't food!

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Add Larry's name to the waiting list for the gallows.

"Do you see what happens, Larry? This is what happens when you fuck all of humanity in the ass!"


BoNeSxxx's picture

"And with that the global banking cartel has officially (sic) jumped the shark" TD, 12/06/11

When the SHTF, I am going to re-post that as a the most elegant and seminal summation of the pre-EZ breakup.

Just brilliant.

PulauHantu29's picture

If you have the weapon why do you need tinned food or PMs? They will be easy enough to get.'s picture

Because self defense is morally acceptable but theft and murder are not?

Peter K's picture

In the modern world, this old Christian=Judeo sense of right and wrong is so.... passse;)

Chuck Walla's picture

Because self defense is morally acceptable but theft and murder are not?


Then you aren't really, really hungry yet!

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

You haven't thought this through very carefully, have you?

If you have the weapon why do you need tinned food or PMs? They will be easy enough to get.

...said the man with a post-collapse life expectancy of less than a month.


Ghordius's picture


"the powder keg that is Europe, with its tens of religions, hundreds of mutually exclusive cultures, and millennia of hatred, almost without fail took the decision that led to massive game theory fail, and an outcome that resulted in bloodshed"

Sometimes words say more about (the mindframe of) the writer then the object(s) of the words.

In this case, the writer is clearly American (Texan, to be exact) and presents a specific cultural bias - based on individualism (good old American value somewhat lacking in Europe) and Action! (things that go wham! are also very popular).

At the end, this meme that the EZ "is destined to fail" is based on this assumption that the French, the Germans and the Italians are never going to build shared policies for longer than thirty years. You just forget that they are not Yankees or Brits and that they have more sense of mutual solidarity, built in their core values and beliefs.

This is my biggest beef with the Libertarians - this complete denial of any (cultural) shared sense of mutual solidarity. Explain Nations without, if you can.

j0nx's picture

You're kidding right? GL living in your fantasy land of shared unity in muli-cultural environments. Let me know how that works out for you sparky. My guess is that we never hear from you again when it comes time to test out your belief.

Ghordius's picture

multicultural in the sense that there are Saxons and Dutch and Bavarians and Lombards and Hanoverans and Tyroleans and Rhinelanders and Austrians and Sicilians and Ligurians, each more or less in their ancestral lands?

or the new meaning of multicultural?

you seem to forget that a big part of the EZ is composed out of relatively young countries/nations/states, including Germany and Italy, younger than the USA

ffart's picture

If there's one thing we can count on it's that the commies in euroland will not learn from their mistakes and promptly roll out EZ 2.0 as soon as this one fails. Hopefully the nukes only fall on Brussels.

rsi1's picture

When is UBS writing advice on the following?

How to blow up a bank and require a bailout

How to have a rogue trader burn $2bn without noticing

How to sell out to US tax authorities

Everyone is so pessimistic I am starting to become very optimistic about the future of the Euro.

Pythaes's picture

They are scared about what happens to CHF....gonna be messy anyway you cut it.

jonan's picture

sooo, when we gonna start a zerohedge militia?

que blackhelicopters above my house...

Mauibrad's picture

Guns, grub, and gold, bitchez.

King_of_simpletons's picture

So how does one go about procuring small caliber weapons ? I am a newbie when it comes to violent material.

Slartebartfast's picture

Start with a pistol.  Get training along with the weapon.  Practice, practice, practice.

YBNguy's picture

Invest in a Bow and Arrows too.


You can reuse the arrows and its silent when you hunt/protect yourself.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Don't forget a good length of strong rope. You never know when you might run into a banker.


SheepleLOVEcheddarbaybiscuits's picture

this is terrible advice...........this is the 21st century, do you think your adversaries arent going to have superior weapons? buy silencer if you want silent firepower

UP Forester's picture

Worked for the VC, mujahadin, American revolutionaries, etc.  Look up "asymmetric warfare" and figure out who wins in molotov cocktail vs main battle tank.

YBNguy's picture

And what happens when you run out of bullets fucknut...

SnobGobbler's picture

bullets are for bipeds, not M1-A

UP Forester's picture

And, cue the Finnish invention, the Molotov Cocktail....

Chuck Walla's picture

And what happens when you run out of bullets fucknut...


Its called "hand-loading", the re-loading of spent ammunition casings.  Get you some brass, buy or cast your bullets, some primers and powder(I'm partial to Tite-Group & Bullseye).  Presses are widely available, roll your own. Hornaday can provide you some superb hollow points.

jonan's picture

you change magazines, or pull out your secondary??? a lot of shit would have to splatter for me to go through my personal stash of 5.56, 9mm, 40cal and 22...