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UBS' George Magnus On The Eurozone As Monty Python Scouring For The Hollywood Ending Holy Grail

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 10/17/2011 12:13 -0400

Just when we thought we had run out of analogies to describe the daily stupidity in Europe, here comes UBS' senior economic advisor George Magnus who reminds us that that quintessential modern morality tale for lost causes, Monty Python, still has at least one application, in its embodiment of all that is wrong with Europe as it searches for the Holy Grail ofa Hollywood ending. To wit: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail provides a nice allegory for the search by our contemporary European knights of the euro-table for the Holy Grail of stabilising and strengthening the Eurosystem. In the movie, of course, the search was terminated abruptly by farce. In the Eurozone, it continues, and is set to reach its own Bridge of Death in the next two weeks." Unfortunately, following a moment of levity, things get serious again: "The plan soon to be announced by Euro-leaders will most likely reflect elements of much of what has been urged in recent months. Expectations are running high, recently encouraged also by reports that major emerging markets are looking to bolster the IMF’s existing lending capacity of $390 billion, specifically so it could provide additional credit lines to the Euro Area. Several major developed markets are not persuaded this is necessary or desirable, though some announcement about new stand-by credit lines is likely. We shall see what transpires soon enough....The immediate caveat is that the plan may disappoint financial markets if it seems weak or unwieldy, or provides for sovereign guarantees that don’t seem credible or likely to be honoured, or doesn’t provide for guarantees from the ECB, which is the only agency that is a credible provider. Markets may also fear adverse unintended consequences, for example, proposals to strengthen bank capital ratios that banks try to meet by accelerating the shrinkage of balance sheets. This would deepen the Eurozone’s growth crisis, and make higher capital ratio goals retreat ever further into the distance." Of course, this would merely once again shift the burden of responsibility from the legislative body, whatever that may be in Europe, to the monetary, and make life for the new Goldman Sachs head of the ECB heaven on earth, as he undoes years of JCT "prudence" and launches in the biggest money printing experiment ever. But we are getting ahead of ourselves.

For those who fail to recall the outcome of the meeting of Europe's Black Knight with the rumor-free reality of King Arthur, here is a reminder:

Full must read Magnus report:

By George - Europe and the Holy Grail

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Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:15 | 1781771 Deadpool

Minstrel: [singing] Brave Sir Robin ran away...
Sir Robin: *No!*
Minstrel: [singing] bravely ran away away...
Sir Robin: *I didn't!*
Minstrel: [singing] When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Sir Robin: *I never did!*
Minstrel: [singing] Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.
Sir Robin: *Oh, you liars!*
Minstrel: [singing] Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:40 | 1781865 Harlequin001

oops. Cos I can write scribble too...

What does UBS stand for anyway?

Ultimate Bull Shit?

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:16 | 1781776 Deadpool

Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Sir Lancelot: Am not.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:19 | 1781786 Conrad Murray

Euro: I'm not dead yet!

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:43 | 1781895 Harlequin001

You can't make this up can you?

'In the movie, of course, the searchwas terminated abruptly by farce. In the Eurozone, it continues,...' what, the farce?

Yes, it certainly does...

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:19 | 1781787 Ghordius

Dragon: give me two trillions damsels now or I'll torch you!

Sir Robin: if I give you two trillions, you will not eat me?

Dragon: not until I am hungry again

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:20 | 1781790 Deadpool

King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:29 | 1781825 Leopold B. Scotch

If I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bink lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:21 | 1781795 jdelano

Thank you GMCR, for making my freaking month in minutes. : )

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:43 | 1781896 CvlDobd

What do you think the odds are of AAPL making a buying climax this day/week?

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:49 | 1781916 jdelano

Seems likely, but personally I just don't touch Apple anymore--it's got a scorpion tail. Too many factors at play means you're just as likely to get burned for calling it exactly right.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:57 | 1781943 CvlDobd

That comment could apply to everything these days!

Good looking out!

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:57 | 1781946 Mike2756

Goog getting hammered after good earnings, amzn and aapl better blow the doors off.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:21 | 1781799 tmosley

Hmmm, if I recall correctly, that movie ended with the cast being arrested for all of the crimes they committed during the course of their pointless quest.

So, when do these idiots get hauled away in chains?

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 13:12 | 1782004 CPL

HA!

Depends on when populists take over versus the current TPTB regime.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:23 | 1781800 TJ00

George Magnus (AKA UBS labs Frank Zappa clone) nails it again, well done.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:48 | 1781909 Harlequin001

'Even if their plans are well received, these symptoms are likely to re-emerge if sovereign states can’t address the tricky causes of the crisis. These include faltering growth, austerity obsession, and the inability to manage Eurozone imbalances because of dysfunctional fiscal and banking governance' - and how about a little 'mathematical certainty' that the system is inherently insolvent, and becomes more insolvent the more you bail it out?

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:23 | 1781803 Deadpool

Sir Bedevere: ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.
King Arthur: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:24 | 1781805 dr.charlemagne

Death march for the 300 year olde fraud that is private central banking (private money creation)

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:25 | 1781807 Deadpool

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don't know that.
[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]
Sir Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel...
[he is also thrown over the edge]
Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.
[he is thrown over]
Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
Share this quote

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:28 | 1781816 williambanzai7

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:37 | 1781871 Conrad Murray

The Frenchy picture makes my day more than you'll ever know. I was just watching this movie 2 days ago. So damn funny.

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 17:48 | 1782199 Miles Kendig

Like minds brotherman.

rock on

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:29 | 1781824 SheepDog-One

More hopes for carrots and stick rumors to save the markets....meh....I'm not buyin it!

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:30 | 1781829 oogs66

ecb is only credible in that it will either print or hit up germany and france for money...so maybe not so credible

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:30 | 1781830 The4thStooge

On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. Tis a silly place...

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:30 | 1781833 Spastica Rex

Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:30 | 1781835 Deadpool

King Arthur: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
[the Black Knight doesn't respond]
King Arthur: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[no response]
King Arthur: I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land who will join me in my court at Camelot.
[no response]
King Arthur: You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
[no response]
King Arthur: You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy!
[attempts to get around the Black Knight]
Black Knight: None shall pass.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: None shall pass!
King Arthur: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight. But I must cross this bridge.
Black Knight: Then you shall die.
King Arthur: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
Black Knight: I move for no man.
King Arthur: So be it!
[they fight until Arthur cuts off Black Knight's left arm]
King Arthur: Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!
Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch!
King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off!
Black Knight: No, it isn't!
King Arthur: Well, what's that then?
King Arthur: I've had worse.
King Arthur: You liar!
Black Knight: Come on, you pansy!
[they fight again. Arthur cuts off the Knight's right arm]
King Arthur: Victory is mine!
[kneels to pray]
King Arthur: We thank thee, Lord, that in thy mercy -
[cut off by the Knight kicking him]
Black Knight: Come on, then.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: Have at you!
King Arthur: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine!
Black Knight: Oh, had enough, eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:33 | 1781844 Spastica Rex

I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away!

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:34 | 1781851 CrockettAlmanac.com

We're knights of the round table,
we dance whene're we're able.
We do routines, and chorus scenes
with footwork imp-e-cable;
We dine well here in Camelot,
we eat ham and jam and spam alot.

We're knights of the round table,
our shows are for-mid-able
But many times, we're given rhymes,
that are quite un-sing-able
We're opera mad in Camelot,
we sing from the diaphragm a-lot!

In war we're tough and able,
Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable,
Between our quests, we sequin vests
and impersonate Clark Gable,
It's a busy life in Camelot:

(Bass-Solo): I have to push the pram-a-lot!

Arthur: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a55hIGmMzuE

Mon, 10/17/2011 - 12:39 | 1781875 kito