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UBS Rogue Trader Had Been "Reduced To Watching Fox News For Guidance"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

This could probably explain a lot. According to the FT, which has managed to sneak a peek into Kweku Adoboli aka, the scourge of UBS, Facebook profile, in a July 31 update said: "Will they? Won’t they? Reduced to watching Fox News for guidance, it’s a grim affair". It appears that Adoboli should thus be commended - under those conditions we believe it is a miracle a person's loss can be confined to just $2 billion. FT continues with the cyberstalking: " That was followed a week later amid steep market falls, by an entry that read: “Can we shut down global markets for a week so everyone can just chill out?” It also appears that the Delta One'er (which is just a fancy name for "correlation desk" trader) enjoyed his downtime as well: "He came across as someone who worked quite hard to get where he was and played quite hard too," said the acquaintance. Yet by all counts it appears that the event that did ole' Kweku in was the Swiss intervention on September 6: "However, the final message left by the trader on his own Facebook page on September 6 simply read “need a miracle”." Odd: so does Tim Geithner and the Eurozone. Alas, as the latest "rogue trader" incarnation just found the hard way, those are in short supply these days.

From the FT:

According to entries on Facebook, Kweku Adoboli, a 31-year-old computer science graduate described as an “up and coming” trader by colleagues, had been following the recent market turmoil closely. 

 

Mr Adoboli is thought to have been arrested on Thursday by City of London police on suspicion of fraud by abuse of position. He is currently being remanded in custody.

 

A 2003 graduate from Nottingham University, where he studied computer science, Mr Adoboli began working at UBS in London in 2006.

 

“There is a lot of shock, horror and disbelief,” the person said of his arrest. “He was incredibly straight and upstanding with very high integrity. He would definitely not be the first place you start looking.”

Which, ironically is the first place you start looking when trying to find a scapegoat for massive losses, and a reason to announce a global monetary intervention. Just recall how Jerome Kerviel's fun with ES was used by Bernanke as a smokescreen to cut the Fed Funds rate by 0.75% in an emergency announcement when futures were plunging on that cold day in January 2008....

 

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Thu, 09/15/2011 - 11:56 | 1673615 oogs66
oogs66's picture

he was arrested at 3:30 am at a night club drinking vodka red bulls and getting pumped for today's trading?

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:06 | 1673661 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

I'm very curious to know what positions he had to close for a $2 bil loss.

Long Euro? 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:07 | 1673670 xtop23
xtop23's picture

Swissie

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:48 | 1673792 He_Who Carried ...
He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

Right. He prolly bought them for 1.06 ...

UBS just need a scapegoat for poorly managed funds.

How can a person so inexperienced become responsible for let's say 600 to 800 million hard equity and then get a margin call without anybody knowing the risk?

He's been working there only for 4 years or so...  UBS truly must be quite a sh*thole!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:49 | 1673795 redpill
redpill's picture

And it comes to be that the circle of light at the end of your tunnel

Is just a freight train coming your way....

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:06 | 1673846 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

Green, couldn't agree more.  Really hard to believe his superiors didn't know what he was doing.  When trade went bad - needed to offer up a sacrifice.  Reading between the lines, looks like UBS thought SNB was not going to back up their claim to devalue the Swissie with an intervention and went or stayed long.  Ooops, that's gonna leave a mark. 

Full disclosure - I was long the Swissie but sold about a month ago after it spiked.  Not at the top unfortunately, but made a profit.  I was in it as a safe haven, not speculation, just don't trust the FRN$.   I thought the SNB was using a bully pulpit to scare people off but obviously their handlers wanted a stronger Euro.  Wish I could be on the distribution list when they make this decision, guess I'm not in the "in" crowd. 

Fri, 09/16/2011 - 02:43 | 1676288 swiss chick
swiss chick's picture

Neither was UBS, surprising...!!!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:10 | 1673675 Zola
Zola's picture

I m quite convinced he was long S&P or Eurostoxx futures based on the debt ceiling deal will rally stocks to the moon blablabla... aka Barton Biggs etc... But unfortunately the opposite happened and he was probably doubling down... 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:40 | 1673770 Don Birnam
Don Birnam's picture

Grim affair ? Mr. Adoboli must be low on vitamins. 

http://www.freeadsonlineuk.com/_mm/_d/_ext2/35637/big_Liz%20Claman01.jpg

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:35 | 1674192 goldenrod
goldenrod's picture

She is not wearing a bra!

 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 20:16 | 1675580 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Without raisin smugglers, where would we get our raisins? :>D

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:38 | 1673764 riley martini
riley martini's picture

Muddy waters on Bloomturd Silvercorp may be another Chinese fraud. A day after Bloomturd was pumping Silvercorp. Ouch

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:55 | 1673812 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

Company came out swinging in defense.  Opened their mine to anyone who wants a tour this month and opened their books and posted them on their website.  The allegations were made in an anonymous letter by individuals who stated they had a short position.  This is being investigated by RCMP, SEC and Canadian regulators.  Watch for a massive short squeeze if they are cleared of wrong doing, currently 20 million shares sold short.  Could be one for the ages.  Pass the popcorn, gonna be fun to watch. 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:05 | 1673841 mac768
Thu, 09/15/2011 - 11:58 | 1673619 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

bahahahahah funyn stuff.. he should have been short NFLX

http://www.hedgeaccording.ly/2011/08/netflix-chart-update-3-to-300-to-21...

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:52 | 1673804 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000's picture

Got his investment info from Fox?

 

I guess my Magic 8 Ball doesn't look so stupid now, huh?

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 11:58 | 1673621 xtop23
xtop23's picture

 lol "need a miracle" facebook entry hahahaha.

 I almost pissed my pants laughing

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 20:19 | 1675601 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"...I need a woman 'bout twice my height!

Statuesque, really dressed, a Goddess of the night!

One more thing, I just got to say:  I need a miracle, every day!..." -- Grateful Dead, "Miracle"

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 11:58 | 1673624 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

So what was the ETF? 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:05 | 1673660 TTaco
TTaco's picture

They say he was naked short some Silver ETF,
But they seem to talk a lot about the SNB as well so maybe a curency Long CHF short USD

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:36 | 1673755 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

FXF

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:10 | 1673858 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

Who did he think he worked for, JP Morgan? 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 11:59 | 1673626 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

And what exactly is wrong with getting your world view from Fox News? If you are one with the machine there is only one place to receive your indoctrination and programming. That would be the nearest MSM outlet.

Plug me in and beam me up Scotty.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:05 | 1673659 espirit
espirit's picture

Trader should probably get bail or badge of honor from fight club.

Wish the damage could have been greater, but he did his part.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:37 | 1673760 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Project Mayhem.

His name was Kweku Adoboli.  

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 18:32 | 1675191 anyways
anyways's picture

Project Mayhem: A secret operation carried out by the Fight Club, led by Tyler Durden. :-)

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:12 | 1673679 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

Shame he never heard of ZH.  :)

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:14 | 1673688 DirtMerchant
DirtMerchant's picture

On the contrary, I would say he was well read on ZH and just took one for the team, he's now my hero!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:25 | 1673730 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Hedge funds often call into my company mistakenly looking for our services.  We are confused with a company that has the same name and deals in the financial community exclusively.  in any event, after I figure out they are a hedge fund I generally ask them a question about a headline I am readin on Zerohedge and then ask where I heard that from.  I point them here regularly.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:10 | 1673861 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

Touché.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:16 | 1673696 Arius
Arius's picture

exactly CD - pile up on poor ole Murdoch - its all his fault... we almost forgot about him heeee....

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 11:59 | 1673630 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Just be thankful he did not depend on CNBC or 2 billion in losses would have been exponentially worse. Where do they get these guys. HA

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:01 | 1673637 Tuco Benedicto ...
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez's picture

Hell, all he had to do was read an article in the Wall Street Journal!  It worked for battle ship hips Hillary in the 80s!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:44 | 1673777 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

Not to get political, but the Hillary incident was an eye opener for me.  It's my suspicion is that after ABSCAM, no congressman in his right mind would accept an envelope.  They are exempt from insider trading rules for a reason.  Big money buys them off with a simple stock tip and then ramps that stock.  It's absolutely fool proof.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 16:00 | 1674489 Irwin Fletcher
Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:11 | 1673865 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

If he listened to Gartman and did the exact opposite he would have made $2 Billion. 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:14 | 1673635 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

as a black guy he was left out of the pre SNB news stream from internal memos.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:01 | 1673636 kito
kito's picture

i cant wait to find out how much gold has been dumped by the largest central banks in an effort to stave off a complete institutional bank run that wouldve otherwise landed in golds lap---must...........save.............fiat...............

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:03 | 1673643 Coldfire
Coldfire's picture

Silly gnomes. "Ultimate responsibility"? Suck it.

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:-fph3b_Vz9wJ:www.ub...

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:02 | 1673644 sladner
sladner's picture

delta one strategies have nothing to do with correlation trading.  they're just the lowest totem on the derivatives pole.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:02 | 1673645 skohiu
skohiu's picture

It's always a rogue trader.  Nick Leeson would be proud.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:33 | 1673747 DaBernank
DaBernank's picture

Barings, ah the memories, back when losing 1.3 billion was losing real money.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 15:01 | 1674245 Jena
Jena's picture

Gosh, remember how that sounded like SO much money?  At least it did to me.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:04 | 1673646 Silver Dreamer
Silver Dreamer's picture

Blame is never focused on the firms or banks of course.  It's always a "rogue" individual's fault.  har har

Was he wearing a red shirt?

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:14 | 1673682 fishface
fishface's picture

yeah and he's only a "rogue" if he looses

if he wins he's getting a rise, promotion, bonus the whole shebang

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:19 | 1673902 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

I'd say he was under the same impression if a "miracle" trade would have cleared him of any wrong doing.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:03 | 1673650 falak pema
falak pema's picture

blame it all on the SNB..they did a surprise move and stymied the poor computer nerd dressed up by UBS as smart aleck trader...a cut n paste job à la Jerome Kerviel. Kerviel was a low level trader having been promoted from techy computer analysis and program maintenance to trading, the golden route!

Wow! these banks never learn. 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:32 | 1673744 Jack Sheet
Jack Sheet's picture

still pretty tame compared to Kerviel who blew 4.9 Bio EUR

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:04 | 1673656 monkeyboy
monkeyboy's picture

Be a hoot if UBS is the new Lehmans.

Black is the new black for 2011.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:54 | 1673810 Capitalist10
Capitalist10's picture

UBS' chief risk officer was formerly the chief risk officer for Lehman.

 

Wherever she shows up next, short it with every dollar you've got.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 16:04 | 1674504 Jack Kreuz
Jack Kreuz's picture

At Barings, both Ash Lewis and Brenda Granger missed Leeson's trades. At SocGen, Kerviel's trades were overlooked by Claire Dumas. Whenever empowered ladies show up, short their employers.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 18:04 | 1675073 24KGOLD FOIL HAT
24KGOLD FOIL HAT's picture

Jack K @ 16:04

O will appoint them as Geithners and his deputies replacements.

Seiously, we should put them in charge of enforcement at Justice.  Like Liz Warren. 

Each gender has its strenghts ;)

 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:05 | 1673657 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

If only we could deal with rogue central bankers the same way..

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:06 | 1673662 Old. No. 7
Old. No. 7's picture

Yeah. I'll phone up City of London Police.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:25 | 1673729 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

London Police have been "too bizzy" harrying teenagers not to form groups of more than 3 on street corners and dishing out dozens of petty fines to milk innnocent motorists

...meanwhile the golaposts have been left wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide open for every financial criminal (banker, crony businessmen and politician) to commit national fraud, theft and create ponzi schemes unhindered

Climate Change anyone? 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:32 | 1673743 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

We form gangs. You all be lone wolfs. Or else this won't work.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:37 | 1673757 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Oh Yes individualism is the key ..everyone, individually, stop paying your taxes ...it'll unlock freedom faster than any other method to stop this rot ...and so simple too

Zero Tax = Zero Govt

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:42 | 1673773 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Bernanke would just print even more.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:56 | 1674222 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

MsCreant - Benny would have no authority to print more money if Govt were gone... Govt is the key to this whole Western (and Eastern) sham. Govt props up all the garbage institutions, particuarly corporate monopolies (Big Oil, Big Pharma, Big Healthcare) and of course that big monopoly of money, The Fed

take away Govt and the biggest protection racket in history, funded by you the taxpayer, gets taken away from this global scum... enter right the Free Market and what fears all Big Monopolists, competition from small business... the Big Dinosaur institutions would be toast in a matter of years from the free markets constant battering of these big slow bloated old farts

Zero Tax = Zero Govt

...and a whole lot more 'Zeros' put to the sword too (Blankfein, Dimon, Rothchild et al)

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 15:42 | 1674386 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Your heart is in the right place, but I believe you are wrong. We stop paying, they have a shortfall, Benny prints and it looks like the govt. is not failing. I am not saying this is sustainable (hell what is happening now is not sustainable) but we would not know for a long time that no one was paying taxes. He'd print, services would continue, and my bet is the dollar will fail before the government would.

I wish you were right. We would all have to know that each of us was not paying taxes to stand a chance of having that work.

The fucker is going to print until no one believes in the dollar any more. I'm banking on it, literally. This shit show goes on for a while longer.

Fri, 09/16/2011 - 09:21 | 1676693 fajensen
fajensen's picture

MsCreant - Benny would have no authority to print more money

As long as the ATF agents and police they send round to shoot up your house and kill your entire family right there on the front lawn on 10 o'clock news (as an example) to others take bennies money, then there is authority.

Hell - A lot of the guys coming back from Iraq and Afgahistan to menial jobs, no money and everlasting boredom would probably kill people for Free - just to get that olde andrenaline going. No wonder bummah don't want to bring them soldiers back home.

 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:57 | 1673824 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

fyi, London does not = the City of London.

Fri, 09/16/2011 - 06:55 | 1676419 Palfreman
Palfreman's picture

City of London police is different from the Metropolital police. City of London police are just inside the square mile.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:57 | 1673821 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

interesting that they have their own force.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:07 | 1673665 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

He LOST money, so he's arrested for fraud...however anyone with a fund going UP is never suspected of fraud.

Ponzi on, bitchez.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:51 | 1673802 Herman Strandsc...
Herman Strandschnecke's picture

That's what I though, SheepDog-One. 'tis like getting arrested for dropping a chinese ming vase at an auction house.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:14 | 1673669 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Oopps UBS!!! Another $2Billion slips through the Risk Managers fingers found yet again asleep at the wheel (worthless crones)... much like every Law and Regulator in every country in history has been a complete unremitting unrelenting failure.... 

Priceless    

...well $2bn to be exact!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:08 | 1673671 Chestire
Chestire's picture

I don't buy the UBS/intervention theory - I think it's 11.09.15, Lehman +3. UBS's case perhaps comes at close of accounts on the 15 th, mid-month. The intervention's case is sustained by Wednesday's downgrades of French banks after the SocGen CEO conference on Tuesday: even after proven liquidity, and loss absorption concerns eased, SocGen was downgraded.

As known, SocGen par with other French banks hold assets plenty to serve as liquidity providers to the Eurozone and were suffering from USD liquidity concerns: it is clear now USD liquidity would be remanded.

Furthermore, the 6-pack was approved yesterday: it is a clear sign fiscal growth is not growth by fiscal.

Finally, Sec. Geithner is in town - brought cash widdim, waz the problem?

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:14 | 1673687 xtop23
xtop23's picture

There's never a problem ...... until there's a problem

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:29 | 1673737 Chestire
Chestire's picture

LOL

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:14 | 1673686 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Guess we won't be seeing RobotTrader much anymore. We should start a pool so we can send him a box of cookies in the big house.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:06 | 1674103 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

or a box of condoms....

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 15:03 | 1674250 Jena
Jena's picture

cigarettes

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:15 | 1673689 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

How the fuck does a Delta 1 trader get into a position to lose $2B?  Also, wouldn't he not be at fault since the SNB performed an intervention instead of letting the market work, causing the $2B loss.  Lastly, where did UBS get money to actually invest?

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:23 | 1673720 optimator
optimator's picture

C'mon, a D1 trader has $ limits on trades.  So far all we've seen is the tip of the iceberg.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:28 | 1673736 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

I find it amazing that people still get amazed at what the world can churn up.

How does a community organizer and summer intern get to be the POTUS?

Where there is a will there is a way!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:16 | 1673694 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

his own Facebook page on September 6 simply read “need a miracle”." Odd: so does Tim Geithner and the Eurozone.

LMAO! Hysterical. They really are getting desperate at this point... seems paper solutions don't have the same bang-effect they used too. With all of this central-bank-created volatility, the end of the quarter is going to look very painful for many a trading desk across the buy and sell side of the Street. The central banks are shooting themselves in the foot with the same tools they are using to fix the problems. Awesome.  

Hey G-Pap, grow a set and show us why Greece is the cradle of democracy.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:07 | 1673848 Segestan
Segestan's picture
“Democracy... while it lasts is more bloody than either [aristocracy or monarchy]. Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide.”

John Adams 2nd American President

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:44 | 1674029 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

We are very sadistic here in Mordor anyway.... besides, I'll take it over any of the alternatives every time.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:16 | 1673695 Sutton
Sutton's picture

You would think the SNB would tip off their own guys.

Like Ben and Tim.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:17 | 1673699 vegas
vegas's picture

I find it ironic that the supposed trade that did him in was CHF. Probably doing some quant shit with eurchf. You would think UBS would have had some kind of inside skinny on the swiss intervention that was about to happen.

Message to Kweku: While you are in prison, read Taleb's book on black swans.

Fri, 09/16/2011 - 09:32 | 1676734 fajensen
fajensen's picture

Maybe UBS management just decided that the best, most face-saving, way to unwind their losing trades was to stick them in Kweku's account?

If this is the case, they will not want Kweku to testify too much in court. A settlement will/has to be made - or maybe the UBS are also cheapskates and poor Kweku will have a fatal accident in prison.

I know of someone being offered to take 4-6 years in the slammer (with possibility of doing half the time for good behaviour) for fraud - in return for a nice retirement account in a tax shelter.  He did not exactly trust the person making the offer so we never found out if it was genuine.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:18 | 1673700 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Don’t go to bed with no shorts on your head

Don’t do it

Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time

Keep your eye on the sparrow

When the ir spread gets narrow

Don’t roll the dice if you can’t pay the price

Don’t do it

Don’t run your feet down a dead end street

Don’t do jpm dirt or you’re gonna get hurt

Don’t do it

Don’t run away ‘til you hear what I say

Ain’t gonna fight with no squid in the night

Won’t do it

How high can it fly with the volume so low?

I’m gonna go where the cold FX wind don’t blow

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:51 | 1673799 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

classic.

 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:52 | 1673805 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

LOL.  And you can take that to the bank my friend.

 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:18 | 1673704 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

"Will they? Won’t they?"

 

Which probably sums up the foresight of any trading desk jockey around the world.

Everything is binary in the world of central bank intervention.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:18 | 1673705 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

Sounds like Robot Trader has officially been unmasked..we know your true identity Robot, sorry about the stint in jail bro

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:21 | 1673716 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

He never learned his Leeson. lolololol

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:19 | 1673706 QuietCorday
QuietCorday's picture

I am kinda struggling to see why UBS thought it was a good idea to hire a computer science grad from Nottingham uni in 2006 and put him on a trading desk. No wonder the lad ended up watching Fox news for help. In these dark times, you need a backstop of hard experience, a core grasp of history, a keen political nose, a good relationship with Johnny the Shoeshine Guy, and probably the ability to play the tuba.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:23 | 1673721 xtop23
xtop23's picture

UBS needed a fall guy. nuff said

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:34 | 1673750 Chestire
Chestire's picture

Wise

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 15:49 | 1674418 anonnn
anonnn's picture

Backstop, indeed.

“Did you ever go to a baseball game?” he said. “Of course,” I said. “Uh hunh,” he said. “What’s behind the catcher?” “Why, there’s nothing behind the catcher, except the umpire.” “Oh yes there is,” he said. “Think.” “I can’t think of anything. There’s just the boxes in the grandstand.” “What’s between the box seats and the catcher?” “Nothing.” “Oh yes there is; there’s a wire net called the backstop. It catches the balls the catcher misses, and all the fouls that go off in that direction, so that nobody in the box seats gets hurt. That’s the function of guys like La Follette and Wheeler, and believe me, they know it if you don’t.” .

Kenneth Rexroth quoting Sen Burton Wheeler...days before Rexroth discovered he was talking to the senator, himself.

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:lWatdmO33J4J:www.bopsecrets.org/rexroth/autobio/5.htm+harold+zellerbach+biography&cd=32&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:21 | 1673714 Wending
Wending's picture

I call bullshit.  UBS knew what he was doing.  It is just like the B movie horror films.  The brother always gets it first.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:24 | 1673725 Watson
Watson's picture

Are we all entirely sure that the damage is limited to USD 2B?

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:31 | 1673740 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

So anyway, we're back to the markets opening up 1%, where they flatline on no volume until close. What a joke.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:31 | 1673741 DOT
DOT's picture

Poor crewman #5; only got one page of the script.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:32 | 1673745 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Damn Wikipedia moves fast. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delta_One

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:37 | 1673761 xtop23
xtop23's picture

Nice Wiki calls it "ample risks"....... suicidal is more apt

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:33 | 1673746 Yogibear101
Yogibear101's picture

Kweku:  ..." but boss, I can trade my way out of this by selling puts and buying pink sheet pennies"

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:36 | 1673758 the iD
the iD's picture

"(Reuters) - A $2 billion rogue trading hit at UBS deals an early blow to its new chief risk officer, previously head of risk at Lehman Brothers..."

 

so the worst is over then. thats good.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:38 | 1673762 Lord Peter Pipsqueak
Lord Peter Pipsqueak's picture

So after Kerviel who lost $6bn, UBS was bailed out by the swiss government in 2008,presumably procedures were tightened to prevent such an event reoccurring,and yet here we are again.That deja vu moment all over again to quote the great Yogi.

Kerviel insisted that his superiors knew of his positions,now am I the only cynic on ZH who thinks: trade goes well,bonuses all round,trade goes bad,trader blamed then arrested,if losses big enough bank bailed out by taxpayer-bonuses all round.End result bonuses paid either way.

Who needs to seperate investment and retail banking?The system appears to be working just fine.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:59 | 1673827 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

More like "deja moo"... we've heard this bull before...

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:40 | 1674205 citta vritti
citta vritti's picture

"Should you or any of your IMF team be captured, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions."

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:39 | 1673768 Surly Bear
Surly Bear's picture

I'm going to get me a beer; want one?

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:40 | 1673771 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

This thing stinks almost as much as Kerviel. 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:44 | 1673778 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

yeah it stinks, but the dude should never let them play him like this.

 

He sounds too dumb to live, life is funny that way.

 

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:58 | 1674078 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

I'm sure there is a healthy trust fund sitting there for this guy like there is Kerviel once he's released from prison.  That's how the game has been played for many years.  If you accept the offer to be a scapegoat there is a payout.  If you decline, you just get fucked.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:45 | 1673779 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

[cough... cough...] Scapegoat [cough... cough...]

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:55 | 1673813 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

are you saying that the S.E.C. has ALREADY Shredded the Documents? LOL!!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:45 | 1673780 Where My Dawg At
Where My Dawg At's picture

Always the black guy...

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:53 | 1673807 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

it is soooooooooooooooooooo much safer for Machines to Trade than Flawed Human Beings..

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:45 | 1673782 irishlink
irishlink's picture

They certainly play hard. Moving that amount of money aruond each and every day brings a certain type of apathy. Many of these guys are burnt out after just a few years. Work hard ,play hard in order to destress and bring the adrenaline back to a normal level. We wont even mention the alcohol and cocaine use!  But there is something about this story that does not ring true. Is he the fall guy for an upper management risk on bet that went wrong?

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:48 | 1673783 Where My Dawg At
Where My Dawg At's picture

.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:59 | 1673794 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Is this the same Kweku Adoboli who's be e-mailing me incessantly (for about 18 months now) from Lagos, Nigeria?

If so - apart from getting around - he's apparently come into sort of inheritance (well over a100 mill) and - due to a military coup of some sort - needs my "trusted" assistance in wiring the funds to a US bank over a period of 10 days or so. I get 10% of the action just for letting him use my acct for this period. Only thing is I hope it isn't anything to do with the current shennanigans at UBS... I certainly wouldnt want it to get out that i was on the receiving end of the proceeds of any fat-finger trading at UBS!

Advice urgently requested: do I go ahead anyway & pick up an easy 10mill - or, err on the side of caution and only let him use my acct for 24hrs or so and only make a couple of million? tia.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:00 | 1673833 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

LOL!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:51 | 1673801 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

This is MUCH better than Fox News.. Only sanitized arguements will be heard for public consumption!

At least Faux News is KNOWN for being stupid.. but on the level below? it can only be described as poisoned by proxy under the direct supervision of YOUR!! Owners!

 

Conference Program Click here to watch the conference live beginning September 15, 2011 at 8:45 a.m. EDT. Thursday, September 15, 2011

8:15 a.m.


Continental Breakfast

 

8:45 a.m.


Opening Remarks by Chairman Ben S. Bernanke

 

9:00 a.m.


Non-Core Bank Liabilities and Financial Vulnerability (PDF)

Author: Joon-Ho Hahm, Yonsei University; Hyun Song Shin (presenter), Princeton University; Kwanho Shin, Korea University

Discussant: Stijn Claessens, International Monetary Fund

 

10:00 a.m.


Governments as Shadow Banks: The Looming Threat to Financial Stability (PDF)

Author: Viral Acharya (presenter), NYU Stern School of Business

Discussant: Tobias Adrian, Federal Reserve Bank of New York

 

11:00 a.m.


Coffee Break

 

11:30 a.m.


The Impact of a Liquidity Shock on Bank Lending: The Case of the 2007 Collapse of the Private-Label RMBS Market (PDF)

Authors: Paul Calem, Federal Reserve Board; Francisco Covas (presenter), Federal Reserve Board; Jason Wu, Federal Reserve Board

Discussant: Elena Loutskina, University of Virginia Darden School

 

12:30 p.m.


Lunch

 

1:45 p.m.


Lunch Address by Governor Daniel K. Tarullo

 

2:15 p.m.


Leverage Regulation and Macroeconomic Dynamics (PDF)

Authors: Ian Christensen, Bank of Canada; Césaire Meh (presenter), Bank of Canada; Kevin Moran, Université Laval

Discussant: Jae Sim, Federal Reserve Board

 

3:15 p.m.


Coffee Break

3:45 p.m.


A Shot at Regulating Securitization (PDF)

Authors: John Kiff, International Monetary Fund; Michael Kisser (presenter), Norwegian School of Economics and Business

Discussant: Erik Heitfield, Federal Reserve Board

 

4:45 p.m.


Rating Shopping in the CMBS Market (PDF)

Author: Andrew Cohen (presenter), Federal Reserve Board

Discussant: Bo Becker, Harvard Business School

 

5:45 p.m.


Reception (by invitation only)

 

6:30 p.m.


Conference Dinner (by invitation only) Friday, September 16, 2011

8:00 a.m.


Continental Breakfast

 

8:45 a.m.


Systemic Risk from Real Estate and Macro-prudential Regulation (PDF)

Authors: Franklin Allen (presenter), Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania; Elena Carletti, European University Institute

Discussant: Stijn Van Nieuwerburgh, NYU Stern School of Business

 

9:45 a.m.


Taming SIFIs (PDF)

Authors: Xavier Freixas, Universitat Pompeu Fabra; Jean-Charles Rochet (presenter), Zurich University and TSE

Discussant: Itay Goldstein, Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania

 

10:45 a.m.


Coffee Break

 

11:15 a.m.


Capital Regulation and Tail Risk (PDF)

Authors: Enrico Perotti, University of Amsterdam and CEPR; Lev Ratnovski (presenter), International Monetary Fund; Razvan Vlahu, De Nederlandsche Bank

Discussant: Adam Zawadowski, Boston University

 

12:15 p.m.


Lunch

 

1:30 p.m.


Panel Discussion: Policy Perspectives on Regulation of Systemic Risk

Panelists: Lewis Alexander, Federal Reserve Bank of New York; Franklin Allen, Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania; Nellie Liang, Federal Reserve Board; Jeremy Stein, Harvard University

 

3:30 p.m.


Adjourn

 

    *Attendance to the conference is by invitation only.
Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:55 | 1673816 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

“He would definitely not be the first place you start looking.”

Nor the last, we can only hope.  Unfortunately, watching these mega banks try to convince everyone they have things all under control is increasingly like watching Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen try to do the same.

RIP Amy Winehouse, you and the rest of us know the awful truth.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:56 | 1673817 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

“He would definitely not be the first place you start looking.”

Nor the last, we can only hope.  Unfortunately, watching these mega banks try to convince everyone they have things all under control is increasingly like watching Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen try to do the same.

RIP Amy Winehouse, you and the rest of us know the awful truth.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:59 | 1673828 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

To his credit, they say he was a big tipper.

I am wondering if UBS might have to avail itself of a few of the bags of unclaimed gold fillings it is holding safely in its vaults.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:01 | 1673835 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

"...on suspicion of fraud by abuse of position. He is currently being remanded in custody."

With this kind of charge, isn't it theoretically possible to lock up, oh I donno, every banker and politician?

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:05 | 1673842 DirtMerchant
DirtMerchant's picture

if only we had balls, citizen arrests for all of them!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:20 | 1673909 par4
par4's picture

I'm shocked! Nobody has accused him of being a 'Keynesian'.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:20 | 1673910 par4
par4's picture

I'm shocked! Nobody has accused him of being a 'Keynesian'.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:24 | 1673933 malek
malek's picture

Isn't it ironic:
Large Swiss bank becomes collateral damage of the SNB intervention...

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:34 | 1674191 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

I think it's more like UBS france fails to get paid by UBS socgen so counefeits the money instead. Banks don't have it so currency holders foot the bill.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:26 | 1673943 Zeff
Zeff's picture

I guess Howie Hubler was a bigger nut than Jerome yet he's never mentioned. Sad.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:33 | 1673978 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Mr. Adoboli should have picked up when Deep Shah was on the line.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 13:45 | 1673992 Nate H
Nate H's picture

Tyler - I disagree with your gold-as-solution for all mantra, however you are one creatively funny dude!r

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:04 | 1674098 irishlink
irishlink's picture

I cannot believe that there is no commentry on poor Netflix today . I would have expected some seriously funny pieces. UBS taking all the credits today. Netflix would be down 30% otherwise

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:05 | 1674099 ItsDanger
ItsDanger's picture

So many of the traders in these firms arent even qualified to have these jobs in the first place.  What were there qualifications to get into these positions?  Pathetic.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:09 | 1674115 Peter K
Peter K's picture

He had the same qualification as the Bamster had to teach at the UofC Law School. Nuff said.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:05 | 1674100 Peter K
Peter K's picture

He he he. I just love it how Fox News (balanced and fair) sticks in the craw of all the basement dwelling lunatic lefty low lives.  My advise: put on a tampon.

PS Socialism es muerte:)

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:09 | 1674114 Mrs Kensington
Mrs Kensington's picture

Is it a coincidence that this news did not get "out" until three days after the Vickers Report - when it seems the problem trade happened a couple of weeks ago?  Such news would have really skewed the reception of these recommendations which are not definitive in splitting retail and casino, and are also going to be proved inadequate well before the notional timeline of 2019.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:20 | 1674141 Yamaha
Yamaha's picture

UBS ALWAYS NEEDS A FALL GUY. WITHOUT A DOUBT ONE OF THE WORST MANAGED INSTITUTIONS. UBS=U BIN SCREWED

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 14:26 | 1674160 Agent P
Agent P's picture

All I need is a miracle.  All I need is you.  And if we ever catch up with you, you're going to jail for the rest of your life.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 15:07 | 1674262 be-short
be-short's picture

On the fatal day there was a long recommendation from the asia fx desk for the swissy and short dollar. everybody expected to see parity in the forthcoming days in switzerland. but then, the SNB ... .well - everybody knows what happened. Lot of traders / banks were grilled :-)

 

Fri, 09/16/2011 - 05:12 | 1676369 Goldenballs
Goldenballs's picture

If you got no loot you just can,t shoot,if you got no cash you gotta dash,if you got no bread your as good as dead,

Doctor Feelgood - Years ahead of their time and the Governments,Central Banksters,Banksters,etc. 

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