UK Vs France: You Decide Who Is Worse

Tyler Durden's picture




The latest scandalous childish spat in Europe is not between some hardcore religious fanatics in the former Yugoslavia, but between the two countries that traditionally (at least in post-war Europe) have been at the forefront of sense and stability: France and the UK, where things got out of joint after David Cameron vetoed the recent G-27 attempt to bailout French and German banks on the taxpayer's dime, quickly followed up by a media war, and culminating with the idiotic announcement by Bank of France head Christian Noyer who said it is not France who has to be downgraded, but the UK. For our thoughts on this ridiculous statement, which merely confirms how clueless Europe currently is, see here. We will say no more about who is more hopeless between the two - it is pretty clear that in a global coordinated ponzi, everyone is only as strong as the weakest link, especially among the AAA-club: the fact that a central bank head does not, is grounds for great concern... so instead we will leave it up to our readers. Below, courtesy of Reuters, we present a tableau of the key economic dataseries for the two countries, and benchmarked against Europe's strongest economy: Germany. So is Cameron right in saying he is protecting the UK taxpayers by keeping them isolated from the European maelstrom, or is Noyer correct when he says that the UK is far worse off? Readers decide.

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Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:00 | 1984218 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

UK

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:04 | 1984239 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Where the food is ugly and the women taste badly.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:05 | 1984250 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

ew

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:08 | 1984272 Manthong
Manthong's picture

OT but interesting:

CNBC: Gold Sheds 'Can't Lose' Status: Now, No One Wants It
http://www.cnbc.com/id/45684174
That’s the word from the mainstream so it must be true.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:29 | 1984360 Reptil
Reptil's picture

Excellent. My truck will be backing up in januari. Please keep up the efforts and continue the fairy tale please?

Really... I'm all for correct information, but if people still believe this shit, they WANT to believe it.

Financial death becomes then financial suïcide. Not my problem.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 19:16 | 1985386 trav7777
trav7777's picture

well, shit that didn't take long.  So the shoeshine boy is gonna say sell gold now?

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 20:12 | 1985589 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Jamie & Lloyd: Amerika's Shoeshine Boys

If it wasn't for fraud and theft as Wall Street's business model... Jamie 'n Lloyd would be shining shoes...

Gimme a shine, Jamie...

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 21:36 | 1985687 sqz
sqz's picture

Both UK and France will be downgraded, though for very different reasons. It is also irrelevant, at least in the case of the UK, until after Eurozone breakup and the short/medium-term consequences!

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 02:47 | 1986182 BigJim
BigJim's picture

I was under the impression (too drunk to look it up now) that the UK's debt is of much longer maturity... that must count for something.

It's having to roll over the short-duration debt that's crushing the PIIGS, is it not?

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 11:54 | 1986923 Mr Shush
Mr Shush's picture

The longer maturity on UK debt is a factor, but I would say it's less important than the demonstrated willingness of the BoE to print, print, print, as compared to the ECB's reluctance. The weakness of the UK position will manifest itself in high inflation, not a default, and that's beyond the remit of the ratings agencies, who explicitly judge only the likelihood of a "credit event".

Between the devil and the deep blue sea, it may be best to stick with Norway.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:39 | 1984400 pine_marten
pine_marten's picture

Time will tell.  Gold at 700 is a possibility.  Lots of real wealth lost in that event. 

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:57 | 1984469 He_Who Carried ...
He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

 

 

Ze Celts, William ze Conquerer and ze Anglos and ze Saxons had it all wrong.
They should've stayed away from Barbaria!

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 07:42 | 1986343 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

IMHO it is unlikely that we'll see serious shortage of money as long as socialist Euro-democracies exist.. I remain long PMs and miners, in fact I added to my positions 2 days ago.
I expect some kind of QE in the US by end of January.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:05 | 1984258 Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

Hhmm.  Wonder if their stats are any less manipulated than ours?

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:28 | 1984354 He_Who Carried ...
He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

.

 

Desolee monsieur Cameron, mister Noyer is right.

Osborne 0 : 1 Noyer

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:42 | 1984418 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

So this is what we have become asking ourselves "whose shit smells better".  All of us are swimming in shit. Relax and enjoy the implosion whereever you are.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:55 | 1984462 Manthong
Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:29 | 1984600 Bwahaha WAGFDSMB
Thu, 12/15/2011 - 21:13 | 1985717 Seer
Seer's picture

To borrow from a favorite saying: A battle to be the best looking horse at the glue factory.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:57 | 1984467 RMolineaux
RMolineaux's picture

Goldman did the biggest manipulation of all times with Greece.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:18 | 1984315 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

HH, that is completely disgusting.  

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:50 | 1984423 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Which one?  Cuisine Anglais like spotted dick (below), or cunnilingus anglais?

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:54 | 1984460 RMolineaux
RMolineaux's picture

Well put!

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:54 | 1984727 Dugald
Dugald's picture

That is NOT spotted dick, aka rolly poley pudding...looks like cake with custard.....God damn..if we can't have truth in pudding, then fuktus cactus we truely are....

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 17:13 | 1984827 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

...yet, maybe there are some areas where it is better to not claim expertise?  At least you did not say, "That is NOT true...Winehouse snatch tastes like butterscotch!"

Sat, 12/17/2011 - 12:49 | 1989835 mutt
mutt's picture

bread pudding; a claimed speciality by jamaicans, brummies, welsh...

creme anglais done proper-like is a real nice sauce

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:01 | 1984480 Hard1
Hard1's picture

UK macro numbers look a bit worse (both are fucked up), but consider the following:

-Cost of aiding your Euro neighbours:  2-3 Trillion Euro

-Having your own currency and the ability to monetize your debt:  Priceless

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 17:56 | 1985105 TK7936
TK7936's picture

The Eurozone can monetize there debt they just havent done it yet.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 12:20 | 1987010 Mr Shush
Mr Shush's picture

But France isn't the Eurozone, and the Germans really don't like the idea of monetization. We know the BoE will print if it feels slightly bored on a Thursday lunchtime; the ECB, not so much.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 20:25 | 1985618 johny2
johny2's picture

the argument of the currency devaluation being better than default on debt makes little sense, like two drunks arguing who is going to have worse hangover tommorow. They are both the same thing, as both british and french people are going to find out more or less at the same time.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:10 | 1984284 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

France?

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:57 | 1984468 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Germany? Meh, I give up!

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 17:25 | 1984915 James-Morrison
James-Morrison's picture

The Three Stooges seems appropriate.

Mo seems like Germany, Larry is France and Curley is Great Britain.

(From RESTLESS NIGHTS)

LARRY:  All for one!

MOE: One for All

CURLEY:  Every man for himself!


Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:22 | 1984332 Alien Invader
Alien Invader's picture

Let's see the US of A for comparison, oh wait forgot we are comparing AAA nations.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:52 | 1984448 RMolineaux
RMolineaux's picture

Who is worse?  The UK, of course.  Those snobs don't know how to cooperate with anyone until you threaten to remove their genitals.   There is no reason for them to have anything to say about it anyway, since they refused to join the euro in the first place.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:43 | 1984667 huanjo
huanjo's picture

Sorry, it's in our nature. We've been doing it for the last 600 years or so. Europe has constantly been trying to force their ways upon us, but we have the best "don't take no shit" attitude in Europe, so that has never happened.  

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:48 | 1984687 RMolineaux
RMolineaux's picture

And when you get into a jam with that attitude, you could always come crying to the US.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 18:57 | 1985330 huanjo
huanjo's picture

Well, 300 years ago the US was British, and today you have inherited that trait of the British culture - the US don't take shit either.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 19:18 | 1985392 trav7777
trav7777's picture

the UK:  where white people have so little balls that they strip down when black people riot.

Where is Napier's "cultural sensitivity" program when you need it?

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 19:08 | 1985365 smiler03
smiler03's picture

RMolineaux - Putain!

Concorde & Eurotunnel?

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:03 | 1984503 RMolineaux
RMolineaux's picture

It is probable that Noyer knows exactly what the true situation is, but like all central bankers, he makes these statements in an attempt to reassure the public.  The French public, understandably, has a built in skeptism about anything the conceited Brits have to say.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:01 | 1984225 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

aig lehman brothers mf global madoff

 

rehypocation

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:02 | 1984230 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

French fried..

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:19 | 1984322 Mountainview
Mountainview's picture

The UK has it's own Sterling-France is using something called EURO... ça c'est la différence..

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:35 | 1984387 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

no because if one goes so do them all

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:03 | 1984234 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

They both look like shit

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:02 | 1984235 0ppenheimer
0ppenheimer's picture

France

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:03 | 1984238 gjp
gjp's picture

Definitely the UK.  Take away the fraudelent City of London and what's left?  At least the French have some industrial companies and wine and cheese.  What does England export exactly?  I can't believe their current account is in balance.  Must be something fishy there ...

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:13 | 1984298 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Whiskey

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:19 | 1984317 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

and Haggis.  Which more than cancels the Scotch. 

"Haggis is a dish containing sheep's 'pluck' (heart, liver and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally simmered in the animal's stomach for approximately three hours"

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:19 | 1984321 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

That's not even their Whiskey, it belongs to the Scotts and Welsh. Irish Whiskey is better anyways.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:33 | 1984376 terryfuckwit
terryfuckwit's picture

mmm the old black bush

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:30 | 1984613 Wolferl
Wolferl's picture

Whisky. The real stuff from Scotland. Slange var.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:18 | 1984316 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Great musicians, bad ass cars, and mediocre actors..

you know you may have a point...

who gives a fuck?

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:25 | 1984349 campag
campag's picture

RollRoyce jet engines / autos Mini /Jags

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:32 | 1984371 He_Who Carried ...
He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

You mean BMW and Ford?

Still, Ze English are toast!

 

And there you have the reason for Cameron's boyish behaviour: They can't pay for it anymore (and according to recent predictions by the Exchequer (a french word) its getting much worse in 2012) !!

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 17:45 | 1985047 falak pema
falak pema's picture

how come your boobs point outwards, have they been riding horses like those bow legged Mongols whose knees point outwards and feet point inwards?

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 18:38 | 1985262 He_Who Carried ...
He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

Come a little closer, nothing points outwards except for your balls! *lol*

 

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 19:11 | 1985372 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Jaguar is Tata, not Ford

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:32 | 1984373 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

Mini=BMW=German, sorry dude you need to dyr

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:06 | 1984497 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

Huh ? Mini is British not German.

edit: Okay it is German now after all.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:07 | 1984520 He_Who Carried ...
He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

Watch your words: Bavarian attack imminent.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:12 | 1984538 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

nope been german for years..uk has no car manufacturers left...remember the black hole of british leyland, british steel and british coal? now the uk has the black hole of the banks, RBS and Lloyds.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 19:20 | 1985399 trav7777
trav7777's picture

most bentleys=VW Phaeton

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 00:01 | 1985991 Ivan the Russian
Ivan the Russian's picture

in the same way that Heckler & Koch is now British.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 16:48 | 1988107 Mountainview
Mountainview's picture

That's why they sold guns to Lybia?

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 00:02 | 1985993 Ivan the Russian
Ivan the Russian's picture

That's a lot of MP5s

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:30 | 1984357 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

The City of London corp makes Russian corruption look like petty crime! Occupy The London Stock Exchange (eating French cheese & drinking French wine)!

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:22 | 1984567 onebir
onebir's picture

" I can't believe their current account is in balance.  Must be something fishy there..."

Just a collapse in domestic demand (which is why they have the weakest growth and the BoE is able to forecast inflation falling back to target and be taken vaguely seriously. Otherwise UK yields would probably explode, like France but due to inflationary expectations.)

 

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 17:03 | 1984774 Dugald
Dugald's picture

Well just as a start you could check out the arms industry..and work your way down....fish exports are probably near the bottom....

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 17:59 | 1985123 richard in norway
richard in norway's picture

import minus exports

 

guess which one has fallen off a cliff

 

hint real wages declining at 5% pa

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 20:01 | 1985557 memyselfiu
memyselfiu's picture

quality street

and central banks

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 02:40 | 1986172 BigJim
BigJim's picture

...What does England export exactly?

England is one of the major exporters of the Bankster empire.

As long as the UK keeps supplying men and materiel for every US 'liberation' around the globe, the Fed will continue to buy UK gilts through anonymous blind trusts, keeping yields absurdly low.

The UK's holiday from reality ends... when the Fed does.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:05 | 1984241 Dcheeth2
Dcheeth2's picture

No surrender monkeys here.

Blighty all the way to prosperity at the behest of those Gallic inbreds. 

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:06 | 1984243 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Noyer you crazy ECB govna. Trying to bring down UK with ya ha.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:45 | 1984672 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Nope the Brits city started the shenanigans. This is late knee jerk to City mega corruption and rip off.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:04 | 1984246 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Sorry, any macro economist would easily see that France loses in the contest against the UK.  I guess that was the point of Tyler's posting this.  

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:05 | 1984247 socratesplus
socratesplus's picture

france, but only because it can't control its own currency

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:40 | 1984626 falak pema
falak pema's picture

France has one thing  going for it, its country side; it'll survive the french bureaucracy. One good joke from history :

The current French Sarkozist government known for its racialist slant prevalent today leading to next year's elections, to fight off rival Marine Le Pen's far right break-through; (she is Tea party type, red neck, traditionalist politician); has a Home Minister who attended a Sarkozy party gathering where a local stalwart was of Arab origin. And somebody cracked a joke saying, "You have Arabs in your party?" The Home Minister replied, "We have one; its becomes a problem when there are more", and the whole congregation cracked up. The media got that repartee and it hit the tweeter and NET and now they were all shitting in their pants that a private comment got "spun" on the NET. To laugh off his comment, the Home Minister said to the press, "Its a local joke, I'm from Auvergne region. And we make these jokes in that region." Obvious side stepping, he got nailed for it.

I looked up History. At the battle of Alesia fort, Caesar's greatest triumph 60000 legionaries beat off 120-180000 "Arverni" Celts, making the 60 000 celts inside fortifications surrender, having driven off those others who came in support. After the battle, his supreme campaign success of Gallic wars, his General LAbienus asked Caesar,  "What do we do with our captives?" Caesar replied "They are brave individually, but as shown by this battle, they are useless when many. So we have a problem with discipline. One is fine, many is a problem." Labienus retained the lesson. Each Celtic battalion had at its head a Roman Centurion. 

No wonder the sons of those Arverni, the Auvergnats of today, have retained the lesson like scalded cats 2000 years later. Now they love playing at Caesar saying to their "minions" : One is fine... ah, History repeats. But the cheese of Auvergne is very good as is their country side. Just kidding...its the elites, their mind set,  I don't like.

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 17:10 | 1984809 Dugald
Dugald's picture

A nice snapshot of history, thank you...should be more of it!

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 18:07 | 1985148 herewego...
herewego...'s picture

good read

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:05 | 1984255 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

ROONEY! ROO-NAY!

/Sarc

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:05 | 1984256 Slipmeanother
Slipmeanother's picture

The UK debt tp GDP ratio is FAR worse when bank debt is included. UK taxpayers sunk UK pounds over 1 trillion which is counted as equity!---LMAO

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:22 | 1984570 el Gallinazo
el Gallinazo's picture

Well isn't the balance sheet of the big three French banks something like 400% of their national GDP?  (Too lazy to get the exact number).  They are both fucked by their banks.  

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:25 | 1984585 onebir
onebir's picture

Wouldn't the French debt/GDP ratio also be far worse, if the cost of recapitalising French banks were included..?

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:05 | 1984257 youngman
youngman's picture

But France has more Muslims...the UK second..and Germany coming in a far 3rd...to me that is just as important

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:08 | 1984278 youngandhealthy
youngandhealthy's picture

to me U R as stupid as Ur as your look

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:39 | 1984401 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

Rotflmao

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:51 | 1984443 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

YH, you may not understand the relevance of his observation quite yet but you will especially if you live in the London area while this all unwinds..

Thu, 12/15/2011 - 15:34 | 1984381 frenchie
frenchie's picture

but all have jews as ruling class...

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