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US Aircraft Carrier Stennis Is Now En Route To Join Enterprise And Eisenhower Off Iranian Coast

Tyler Durden's picture


Back in early July we wrote that contrary to expectations, veteran Middle Eastern aircraft carrier CVN-74 Stennis would end its shore leave far earlier than expected, and be redeployed back to its usual stomping grounds just off Iran months ahead of schedule. As of days ago, the Stennis has quietly departed Naval Base Kitsap-Bremerton and is off. It will join CVN-65 Enterprise (which is doing its last tour of duty ever before being decommissioned) and CVN-69 Eisenhower in the Arabian Sea, aka off the coast of Iran. This will be one of the only times in history when the US has had three aircraft carriers in close proximity to those evil Iranians who are hell bent on global domination. Expect Stennis to reach Iran (and be available to support an Israeli attack of Iran) in the last third week of September. Then determine when the next full/new moon is following the arrival of Stennis at its destination, and buy Brent calls just ahead. Finally, profit.

From Kitsap Sun:

The USS John C. Stennis, with more than 2,000 sailors aboard, left Naval Base Kitsap-Bremerton on Monday to begin what's expected to be an eight-month deployment. The Stennis has only been home since March 2, when it returned from a seven-month deployment in the Middle East. But with tensions remaining high in that region, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta ordered the aircraft carrier back out to sea. The carrier had not been scheduled to deploy until January.

CVN-74 departs on its way to CVN-65 and CVN-69.

Source: Stratfor


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Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:13 | 2764933 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

Krugman abt to revise his "growth" estimates up up up.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:15 | 2764948 Muppet of the U...
Muppet of the Universe's picture

I can't figure it out, is krugman purposefully that stupid?  Or is he actually... that stupid?  Cus when I see his goofy little face pretending to crunch data I can't help but think, this guy actually has it, that fucking wrong.  LOL HAHAHAha, AHHHH.. painful that people that stupid are chosen to lead us.  Thanks illuminati, you guys are the best!

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:44 | 2765072 Ying-Yang
Ying-Yang's picture

The third US aircraft carrier, USS Stennis, is moving into place off the Iranian Gulf coast to lead a 12-day naval exercise of 25 nations on Sept 16-27, that will include a large-scale minesweeping drill simulating the breaching of the Strait of Hormuz against Iranian efforts to block oil passage through the strategic waterway. President Barack Obama may see Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu on the last day of the exercise. He hopes to present him with proof of US readiness for military action against Iran and demonstrate that an Israeli strike is superfluous.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:55 | 2765123 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

"It will join CVN-65 Enterprise (which is doing its last tour of duty ever before being decommissioned) " - I wager this is the false flag target for this opp. Israel will hit this carrier, make it look like Iran, and BOOM, shake and bake oil crisis for Barack Hussein Carter. 

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:06 | 2765174 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

BOOM will only occur prior to the election if polls show Obama is heavily favored to win.

Otherwise Nut and Yahoo will wait for his former business partner to ascend the Imperial throne in January for the Iranian LBO (Leveraged Bomb-Out) to proceed.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:11 | 2765225 economics9698
economics9698's picture

US Zionist A, US Zionist A.  No Jew should leave home without a nation of 313 million gonium’s ready to serve and protect their little Jewdom state of Israel.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:27 | 2765291 Precious
Precious's picture

Any US or Israeli bomb attack on suspected nuclear enrichment stations in Iran will certainly release dangerous radioactive isotopes into the environment.  

US and Israel will be responsible for all resulting dangerous, short and long-term environmental nuclear hazards and the cost of life and property they summarily cause.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:29 | 2765322 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

3rd week in October.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 16:10 | 2765655 Lets Hang Parliament
Lets Hang Parliament's picture

September 30th for full moon October 15/16 for new moon

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 23:55 | 2766956 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

Nothing quite like the lunacy and seasonal insanity of man:

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 20:09 | 2766414 monad
monad's picture

This isn't about Israel, this is about protecting the city of london's investments in the area; which is why they set up Israel in the first place. The reason America pays for it is because our political leadership all sold us out, at least the ones who aren't mentally handicapped.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 23:44 | 2766939 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Not bad, but not quite right. Demographic basis for Israel was laid during 1930s, via trade/immigration deals between international Zion and 3rd Reich. Then the 1st neoCon - bankster stooge Winston Churchill - took care of the rest, via a forced World War, Round II, and - as per Hitler's standing threats - a "holocaust". It's very much about Israel, the power of organized Jewry, and of course the petro-dollar.   

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:16 | 2765237 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Remember the Maine (Enterprise), to hell with Spain (Iran)!

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 17:38 | 2765895 Dugald
Dugald's picture

MMmmm think I would be wearing a life jacket 24/7 on that vessel.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 20:47 | 2766520 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Praise the Lord and pass the Ammunition because we are betweeen perdiction and the deep blue sea.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 16:34 | 2765729 Jake88
Jake88's picture

WTF How would any of this prove an Israeli strike superfluous? The Israeli objective is to destroy nuke production. Sweeping mines and Obama bullshit won't acheive that. And you better believe that if either Israel or US strikes Iran both will be quickly drawn into the battle. Any attack on Iran will involve an attack or counter attack by Israel. SUPERFLUOUS MY ASS.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 16:57 | 2765790 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

well we in the west think of the "nuclear option" literally meaning nuclear bombs, the Iranians think of the "nuclear option" as closing or even disrupting the straits of hummus, thus threatening the petrodollar, USD hemogeny and political/banking establishment of the Wu World Order.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 17:58 | 2765958 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture



And you better believe that if either Israel or US strikes Iran both will be quickly drawn into the battle.

If either Israel or US strikes Iran, Russia and China will quickly strike Israel and US they've promised openly.

There, fixed it.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 05:56 | 2767356 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture

Russian and chinese are doing their own game. and they lie too as everyone else.


i am not that sure China or Russia will REALLY support Iran. Lies are the same everywhere.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:19 | 2764963 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Zero Hedge Brand Anti-Perspirant Jingle


$4+ a gallon

And creeping higher

The difference is

The hedged stay drier

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:22 | 2764981 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Persia Shave

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:35 | 2765041 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Will your shave appointment still be fir the 29th of September then good sir?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:36 | 2765345 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

And the ZH Pro-perspirant jingle:


$4+ a gallon doesn't matter at all
because you need only 2 gallons
and a few brave men
for an anti croud vehicle to fall


Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:38 | 2765355 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

 <--< YES

 <--< NO

slewie opinion poll:  should US Mint-produced gold and silver coinage be restored as LEGAL TENDER in the US as per the US Constitution and not subject to the fuking "collectibles" and OTHER TAXES?

yes or no? VOTE!

...please...  L0L!!!

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:54 | 2765411 BigJim
BigJim's picture

C'mon, Slewie - you already know what the results of this poll will be. This is Zerohedge!

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 08:52 | 2767706 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture

that would be a pleasure to see who are the 3 idiots that downvoted our Pirate!!!

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:58 | 2765424 BigJim
BigJim's picture


Wed, 09/05/2012 - 20:49 | 2766524 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

And the gasoline evaporates faster than your sweat buying it.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 20:56 | 2766544 adeptish
adeptish's picture

Bibi wants a cookie...

Fetch America ! , Fetch ! ...

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:13 | 2764936 Muppet of the U...
Muppet of the Universe's picture

I would just like to start off by saying I fucked that corn right and proper today.  & made sweet sweet love to crude.

Second, I can't fucking wait to strait on some rubber booties and get a killface on, and murder some brown people!  YAY for the draft and yay for being 25 when the world goes to war! I love life.  This was fun.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:15 | 2764945 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

WTI is CHEAP right now!  BUY IT! BUY IT! Before the SHTF!  Israel reneged ont hei pledge to strike before Nov 6th a day or two ago, and this SHTF soon.  WTI triple digits by EOW.  

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:17 | 2764958 Muppet of the U...
Muppet of the Universe's picture

no fucking shit wti is trip digis.  wti is fucking increasingly more rare than crude, and it is demanded much more than crude. 

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:22 | 2764986 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

King's English...........Please!

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:55 | 2765120 Michael
Michael's picture

I'm glad I decided not to have children. Maybe after we fix our country.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:24 | 2765279 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

YOU decided to not have children? Unless you have a man-womb, your claim to decide if a child lives or is aborted is nonsense. Women decide. You -as a taxpayer- just foot the bill.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:08 | 2765461 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

I have a question about that. If a woman wants to keep the kid, and I don't, why do I have to pay? Shouldn't choice be involved for men? What if I want to keep it, and she doesn't? It's lopsided!

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:15 | 2765480 wiebern
wiebern's picture

Any child YOU carry to term and deliver is yours to keep.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 16:23 | 2765699 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

jeez dude, think.

if you want to keep something, you need to pay for it (in some way or another) before you call it yours - if you want babeez, then negotiate to own 'em.

since I presume you don't have a womb, you'll need to enter into some kind of binding agreement to "rent" one, with a stipulation as to who gets what when.

that's your "choice" if you want to "keep the kid" - if you DON'T - then don't fuck, or at least do it in a way that doesn't make babeez.

it's not rocket science. . .

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 16:47 | 2765759 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

TDS, het males everywhere, you sign a binding contract with the female that you will financially support any products of conception and agree to defer the decision making to her as to termination of fetal tissues or carrying to term till there is an actual baby......




Every time you stick your dick in a pussy you play reproductive Russian roulette, and there is not a single person on the planet that wants to listen to irresponsible men whine about how they are getting shafted.  You want to avoid getting plugged for support for 18+ years you may wish to rub one out on your own or find a pretty little CD or TS or you can just go gay for that matter.  Hang in there though, there is a male contraceptive in testing in India...

A new birth control procedure shows promising signs of becoming another viable option for people who don't want children now, but may want them some day.

Techcitement points out that the procedure, which is in advanced clinical trials in India, has been found to be 100 percent effective.

One downside -- depending on how you feel about shots -- is that it requires the man receive an injection into the vas deferens with a polymer gel called Vasalgel, after a local anesthetic has been given. The substance works by breaking apart sperm.

The whole procedure takes about 15 minutes and lasts ten years or more and is more easily reversible than a vasectomy.


Wed, 09/05/2012 - 20:50 | 2766533 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

It's better than Praprism, where they shove a large grade needle in there and drain the blood.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 17:40 | 2765897 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

even if it's lopsided, the fact that you got it in, means you have to pay.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 09:05 | 2767753 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture



yes man can decide. if you wife or girl ask you to have a children and if you dont want, you just have to pull out, no?


so i think in this case MAN decide

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:55 | 2765415 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

It's OK, CD.  I speak Jive.

In the King's English, he said:

"Thou hast the right of it, sirrah.  West Texas Intermediate petraoleum is more dear than anon, forsooth!  It becomes, alas, ever more elusive, and more sought after in Our markets.  Let's nuke Iran."   

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:17 | 2765487 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture


I was wondering if anyone would catch the veiled "Airplane" reference.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 03:28 | 2767266 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

+QE3 .. I had forgoten how good this was... better times.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 16:11 | 2765661 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Thou will be financially screwethed by thee handlers of the USSA.


Translated to King's english for you.....  Ugh!

Mon, 09/17/2012 - 10:29 | 2803232 nofluer
nofluer's picture

Who needs wti? Hugo has a crapload of Good Socialist glop!!! (Add corn at 6:1 for viscosity.)

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:29 | 2764988 Muppet of the U...
Muppet of the Universe's picture

You butches are just mad that im trading drunk. 

Take it to the next level:  Trading on DMT...  Get on my level bro.



Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:36 | 2765044 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture






Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:46 | 2765069 Muppet of the U...
Muppet of the Universe's picture

Party up in here bitches.  Fuck that Nat Gas.  We were lovers in another life, but right now, I'm just looking to go down on you.  But wait ur turn, I'm not done with ES yet.  That bitch has been asking for it.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:48 | 2765089 TIMBEEER
TIMBEEER's picture

Umm ".. fuck fuck fucking shit hey dude. Fuckedy fuck, fuck fuck .." That sounds like .. Cartman? Is that you? And .. where is Kenny?



Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:54 | 2765109 Muppet of the U...
Muppet of the Universe's picture

'The Bastards That Be' killed him.


& cartmen got his guts ripped from him limb from limb.


This is me now

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:02 | 2765186 Zap Powerz
Zap Powerz's picture

I do everything drunk ya fuckin noob.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:23 | 2765247 Muppet of the U...
Muppet of the Universe's picture

YUea well I do everything on NO SLEEP FOR WEEKS AND ULTRA FAST PASTED LOUD MUSIC. WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT?  :D...  & now I'm drunk and smoking cigarettes on top of it.  & you know what?  I fucking love it.

LOVE THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT.  I live for video games.  Cus that is exactly what this is. I've learned more in 1 year than I have in 10 years of zombie life.  I understand the world, and soon the universe.  and no sleep and 10 hours of music all day every day?  Somehow I can't get enough of it. This is the greatest playlist ive ever made.  and this song, is wicked fucking gay, butt i love it.  lol butt

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:27 | 2765305 Zap Powerz
Zap Powerz's picture

Ok sport, sounds like youre having fun.  Pro Tip:  quit the cigarettes and smoke cigars instead.  Youll look like a boss and save your lungs.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:28 | 2765315 Muppet of the U...
Muppet of the Universe's picture

pro tip heeded.  Any brands you would recommend?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:48 | 2765587 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture


Wed, 09/05/2012 - 16:09 | 2765658 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Explosive tip!

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 20:52 | 2766535 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

King Edwards.


If you can still find them.


Don't worry you will die of something else before the damn things kill you.


Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:26 | 2764998 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture




After US Rebuke, Israel Scrambles to Climb Down From War Rhetoric

Israeli Army Shuffle Seen as Evidence Attack Isn't Imminent

by Jason Ditz, September 04, 2012


Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:48 | 2765088 Sofa King Confused
Sofa King Confused's picture

What if it's all a head game and the U.S want Israhell to hit Iran and then the U.S.  can swoop in and destroy Israhell for starting war on a sovereign nation that has been nothing but peacefull and finally bring peace and properity to the midlle east and winning the hearts of the muslim people....

Just a thought....I'm back to reality now

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:20 | 2765272 Overfed
Overfed's picture

All the better to set up a false flag attack. America, holding out an olive branch to the Iranians, gets it's beloved Enterprise sunk in the Straits of Hormuz. I can see it now, the chickenhawks would be screaming for a war with Iran.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:50 | 2765390 Nikao7
Nikao7's picture

Or all their shuffling is a ruse so there is an element of surprise.  Just a thought.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:14 | 2764940 pazmaker
pazmaker's picture

I wonder why most Americans are ok with having US warships off the coast of other countries(in international waters) but flip out when it is mentioned that another country has warships off our coast in international waters?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:26 | 2764997 spartan117
spartan117's picture

Our coast?  The US flips out when there are warships off the coast of any continent on this planet. 

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:58 | 2765153 potlatch
potlatch's picture

thnx for the fact check spartan117.  some people just refuse to realize what all this air-sea-ground power is.  It is not nationalistic.  It is empire baby.  It is the only capital investment that can survive actual war.  Long bullets.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:52 | 2765405 Nikao7
Nikao7's picture

It's starting to hit me like a 2 ton heavy thing.....

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:28 | 2765004 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Because most Amerikkkans are hypocrites blinded by religious zeal, with a healthy dose of nationalism thrown in for good measure.

In short, a cross between national socialists and fascists. I'm just not entirely sure which one is dominant. But then again, does it REALLY matter?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:37 | 2765046 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I hate Natsofascists.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:04 | 2765190 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

"Because most Amerikkkans are hypocrites blinded by religious zeal, with a healthy dose of nationalism thrown in for good measure."

You don't know many Americans because most Americans are blinded by porn and sports with a healthy does of beer and drugs thown in for good measure.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:51 | 2765397 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture


Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:02 | 2765442 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

You don't get it, do you?

You described the other part of the hypocrisy of Amerikkkans - blinded by porn and sports, strung out on and/or addicted to any drug and/or alcoholic beverage they can find, yet somehow moral and righteous to the core. With severe nationalistic tendencies.

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 08:59 | 2767729 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture

your answer was really funny :)


but you have to recognize that the guy was not too wrong, there are many christian foundamentalist in USA, which they make USA look like Spain in 1600..........................

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:38 | 2765338 savagegoose
savagegoose's picture

try having a passenger air liner  shot down  at one of your airports  by a foreign warship off the coast. say off new york coast.  accidentally shoot down a plan with 300 civilian passengers,

see if some place would get fucken blown off the map.  guess its just an accident when us warships do it.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 19:33 | 2766277 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

You mean like when Iran Air flight 655 was shot down by the USS Vincennes?  Or when TWA 800 was shot down over Long Island Sound?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 20:11 | 2766423 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

Is that the same USS Vincenes which shot down the Iranian airliner while simultaneously engaging several Iranian speedboats 3 short months after the USS Samuel Roberts was nearly sunk by an Iranian mine in nearly the same spot in the Strait of Hormuz?   Or is that the 'itchy trigger finger' USS Vincenes?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 20:54 | 2766537 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Actually it was a Exocet. Not a mine.


The Iwo Jima was the one that got mined.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 21:37 | 2766651 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Actually it was a Exocet. Not a mine.

The Iwo Jima was the one that got mined."


Actually, USS Roberts was mined.


Uss Stark took the exocet hit:


USS Iwo Jima had a boiler explosion (maintenance failure) and was neither mined nor hit by a missile

Mon, 09/17/2012 - 10:41 | 2803282 nofluer
nofluer's picture

Actually the Passenger aircraft was a perfectly understandable accident. The CO had been playing RPGs and was still in character as his AVATAR ("God") and smote the evil Flying Dragon.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:15 | 2764942 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Puny humans playing silly war games. Wake me when mother nature roars and the New Madrid fault slips.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:32 | 2765024 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

I agree. All the Navy does is move. Wake me up when it's the ARMY that moves..."and with whom" of course. Big story is Egypt getting a massive aid package...not this baloney.

Mon, 09/17/2012 - 10:43 | 2803295 nofluer
nofluer's picture

SecNav's new theme song... "I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it...

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:15 | 2765475 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

"So you really are the destroyer of the world?" Fortran asked her sister.

"I am," Diamond replied easily.

"Jee-zuz. I can't believe you!" Fortran shot back, her wings lifting in aggitation. "You can sit there and say something like that? Why would you want to destroy the entire fucking world?

"I don't want to," the other said, pulling up her knees and smiling. "If I had wanted to I would have already." Fortran glared down at her, unsatisfied. "Besides," Diamond continued. "It's not like I'm going to destroy the entire fucking world, as you put it"

Fortran took a step back and threw her arms out shouting, "Then what the fuck subset of the entire fucking world are you fucking going to destroy you mean-spirited fuck!"

"I am tasked with destroying the world of men," Diamond said. "All of it. Every tower and every invention and every road and bridge and standing army and seated government. And every single thought that troubled them and every dream they ever dreamt, to the last quivering neuron in the least of their maddened brains." Fortran took another step back, her hands rising to her face in dawning horror. Diamond leaned forward and in a soft voice ladden with enough menace to peel paint added, "And if you don't stop shouting at me like this I'll be forced into a violent act that I actually would regret a great deal, and that would be to toss you out a window. Sister."

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:33 | 2765535 Shameful
Shameful's picture

Or the awesome Yellowstone Super Volcano, that will pretty much end NA as we know it.

Mon, 09/17/2012 - 10:46 | 2803310 nofluer
nofluer's picture

"Ooooooo! Look at the big pretty, Mommy!"

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:14 | 2764944 q99x2
q99x2's picture

arrival of Stennis at tits destination. Sounds like I might wanna go there.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:20 | 2764976 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I'll drive.  In my brand new Escalade.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:30 | 2765016 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

My Escalade came well-equipped with the optional z-hull configuration, swim platform, and outdrive.  We're covered.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:34 | 2765036 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Way to plan ahead for all the motoring your boat will be doing!

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:16 | 2764956 Payable on Death
Payable on Death's picture

Wag the dog, bitchez.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:16 | 2764957 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

What is a TITS destination, Tyler?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:24 | 2764970 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Based upon modern advertising practices apparently it is where all males want to be.

<Are we there yet?>

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:29 | 2765012 KK Tipton
KK Tipton's picture


Prepare emergency services....we're coming in hot.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:50 | 2765096 TIMBEEER
TIMBEEER's picture

I guess Tyler has more than one browser open .. kinda distracts your thoughts.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:24 | 2765286 Overfed
Overfed's picture

And to think, somewhere, somebody is getting sick of putting up with her shit. :-)

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:37 | 2765350 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

I wish there was a vagina history reset button like on web browsers.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:18 | 2764959 Dalago
Dalago's picture

The Roman Calvary is on the move.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:23 | 2764991 Jason T
Jason T's picture

it's 192 A.D. roman empire time to the U.S. 2012 .. 12 years after it peaked. 

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:06 | 2765454 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

The legions marching confidently toward Cannae.

Mon, 09/17/2012 - 10:50 | 2803333 nofluer
nofluer's picture

Who's getting crucified this time?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:18 | 2764962 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Profits are overrated.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:19 | 2764964 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Bernanke says he doesn't know how much longer he can keep his Ponzi going. It's on to war as the next chapter of the money games.

Destruction causes demand.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 20:20 | 2766446 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

Think of it like a sale ..... smoke those dollars now, because if we're piling on an extra trillion in debt every 280 days we get about 20% more bang for the buck bombing at today's prices.   And you know those ships will be scrapped soon enough to keep the EBT cards filled.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:19 | 2764965 not fat not stupid
not fat not stupid's picture

Policies aside, our navy does kick ass.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:45 | 2765053 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

"our navy"

Who is this "we" you are talking about? Do you think the US navy is somehow yours because you live in the US? Whatever.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 20:35 | 2766495 AurorusBorealus
AurorusBorealus's picture

The U.S. Navy may soon belong to JP Morgan as pledged collateral against all the debt it took to build it and maintain it.  Foreclosure... Bitchez.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:49 | 2765093 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Said nfns wiping a proud tear from his eye with his stars and stripes handkerchief.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:19 | 2764967 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

This is found in the playbook on the page entitled "How We Defend the Petro-Dollar".

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:00 | 2765162 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Less like a playbook, more like a pamphlet.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:20 | 2764977 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Obummer is pulling a Carter: and fucking with Iran before the election to earn "hero points"  Let's speculate on WTi!  And make $$$$$$$

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:02 | 2765182 potlatch
potlatch's picture

let me guess.  You were 3 years old when Carter royally fucked the Iran conflict.  But since you vote Republican, you think you know allllll about history now.  Jesus Christ.  Get out of the US political bubble dude: it's a circus, its not reality.  History is not partisan, no matter how much the partisans wish it were.


Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:15 | 2765244 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Obummer will fuck up the IRan conflict too.. It does not matter.  Obummer will make WTI 100.01 before EOW>  That is all that matter. Not how old I am, not if I vote repub.  

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:22 | 2764982 Isotope
Isotope's picture

"Then determine when the next full moon is following the arrival of Stennis at tits destination..."

Shouldn't that be new moon?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:39 | 2765052 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

"tits" destination would be Dubai wouldn't it?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:43 | 2765358 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

I believe you meant Moonless Kinetic night

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 16:02 | 2765644 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

'........tanks, IED's, Titans, Sunburns......'

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 21:43 | 2766667 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

The one thing we have in our Navy is the high speed machinery. When everything is in order, they can run high for days if not weeks.


That Carrier is going to vanish off the Satellites simply by displacing across the Globe fast enough in a short time that  it will be there before any party.


What are the lucky girls gonna be? Thai? Singapore? Hong Kong? Steel Beach?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:22 | 2764990 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

"Nobody move until Stennis gets here, ya hear?"

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:04 | 2765191 potlatch
potlatch's picture

Ok, listen Moe, it's real easy.  Code word is "Stennis."  You hear that word, you turn this key, got it?  I turn my key, then we both press the buttons.  Ok, got it? 

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:23 | 2764992 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Great strategy, cluster them up so when the Achmadinajihad lights off his nuke it will take them all out.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:35 | 2765039 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture



Yes, "shooting gallery" was the first thought that came to mind.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:55 | 2765122 TIMBEEER
TIMBEEER's picture

The Iranian Carrier Killer. News by the reliable Iranian News Agency (can't be less reliable than the MSM?)



Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:07 | 2765212 potlatch
potlatch's picture

Be a real shame to have Captain James T. Kirk's namesake ship resting on the bottom of your strait and your economic portal to the world, leaking radiation at a rate that makes that one time Octomom tried to use a regular sized tampon during her period look like a minor mishap.


Mon, 09/17/2012 - 10:55 | 2803360 nofluer
nofluer's picture

Ever hear of the "Angler fish"? Dangle dangle dangle...

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:25 | 2764993 sansnobel
Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:32 | 2765021 Jstanley011
Jstanley011's picture

Modern athletics, from high school on, is corrupt to the gills -- money, sex, drugs, you name it -- and the higher you go the worse it gets. I hope the downturn collapses the whole rotten structure right on top of the heads of the scumbags who run it. The funny part in the article is reading how, in allegedly trying to close the loophole, CONgress actually WIDENED IT.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 20:00 | 2766387 sansnobel
sansnobel's picture

Funny how that works huh?  Government tries to make education, housing etc... more "affordable" yet the costs in real and adjusted terms have actually only gone up?  Who would have ever thought the brilliant minds that come up with these idiotic schemes could turn everything they fucking touch into a complete abortion.  These fucking congress critters gut the labor market and let industry go overseas and replace it with lending, spending and consumption and general gluttony at every level of the economy yeah thats gonna work out real well for us in the end....F'n morons  one can only wonder what the next great boom will be....My guess,  the boom of an atom bomb being dropped on some brown people in the name of more consumption driven spending and gluttony.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:25 | 2764994 SDRII
SDRII's picture

An Iranian military official said Monday that the country has planned to carry out a major air defense exercise during the second half of October, the semi- official ISNA news agency reported.


US exercises kick off on the 16th

Defense Department press Secretary George Little said the large minesweeping exercise Sept. 16-27 is a defensive drill and is "not ... aimed to deliver a message to Iran."


Russia plans live fire ICBMs and SLBMs in exercises...Kavkaz exercises

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:27 | 2765006 goldnguns
goldnguns's picture

Jordan and Saudi Arabia are quaking in their boots cuz when the Israelis go pound ahmadamaidiot and the eyeranians launch all to the west the "shorts" will rain down on jordan and House of Saud.  Bahrain feels safe cuz 5th Fleet is tied up at the pier at mina Sulman.  By Christmas there will be liberty in Bandar Abbas!!!  Oh boy, A-rab poontang.  Supposedly better than goats - altho the Iranian men don't think so apparently. 


Yep, "reserve" petro dollah's dying days.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 17:12 | 2765825 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

I love Persian women AND Arab women, perhaps this can be the starting point for future peace talks?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:30 | 2765015 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Wait...before we profit, don't we have to steal underpants?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:43 | 2765065 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Maybe. Because you have to soil your underpants first.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:05 | 2765204 Dr. Kenneth Noi...
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture


Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:32 | 2765025 SDRII
SDRII's picture

meanwhile the NY Fed is doing more reverse repor "tests"

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:37 | 2765047 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

What will the Fed or the PDs be buying?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:33 | 2765029 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Dark Scenario:  Just prior to the attack on Pearl Harbor the navy moved older ships into harbor and kept the new ships at sea...then. Now we move carriers and other ships that are due to be decommissioned into a hot zone.  Two things come to mind.  One is the possibility of a False Flag attack upon these old ships.  Two is the cost associated with scrapping these ships, especially the disposal of all nuclear equipment and fuel.  A False Flag would be an excuse to launch an attack, and the sinking of a nuclear ship would make the cleanup of nuclear equipment/fuel THEIR problem.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 13:46 | 2765076 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Without doubt the worst job on the planet must be Chief Engineer on

the USS Enterprise.Everything must be held together with duct tape and

bailing wire right now.Cash for clunkers must have expired too soon.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:11 | 2765220 potlatch
potlatch's picture

He's doing everything he can cap'n!  She's barely holdin together as is!

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:33 | 2765333 jimod
jimod's picture

False flag is delusional.

But I agree that battleships instead of carriers in Pearl on the day that will live in infamy is a simile for our carriers in the Arabian/Persian gulf.

Sending the 2,000 sailor carriers instead of the 5,000 sailor carriers is a tell in this poker game.

Those ships are bait.  when Iran nukes or drones them, they show their hand and play into somebody's not mine, so I won't say "our" hand.

Aircraft carriers are the last century's technology.   Drones with nukes are the next one's.

Residents of Tehran are well advised to go back to the ancestral rural homesteads.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:39 | 2765357 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

"Drones with nukes are the next one's." WRONG.  Sharks with frickin' laser beams are the next century's technology.  No, seriously, they are

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 17:20 | 2765735 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

Next century's technology will be nanodrones with botox stings.  They will have real-time connections to the NSA, which will monitor your telepathic internet implants.  Continuously adapting AIs will put out bounties based on individual probabilities of deviance.  BlackwaterGoldmanCitiMonsantoSquidcorp will write the HFT algorithms to manage the kill futures market. 

In case a few anti-social Luddites manage to escape the notice of the NSA, the drones will have antennae which can detect a single molecule in the air.  They will track down scent plumes from hazardous sources such as reefer, raw milk, home gardens, and herbal medicines.  

Don't worry, it's perfectly Constitutional, and if you're not doing (or thinking) anything illegal, you will have nothing to fear.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 21:47 | 2766677 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

You are already here.

That stuff is already availible to the right buyer.


Hell, cell phones were fantasy in the 50's

Thu, 09/06/2012 - 20:47 | 2770056 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Next century's technology will be nanodrones with botox stings.  They will have real-time connections to the NSA, which will monitor your telepathic internet implants."


I would have bet on cheap video games to rot the enemy's mind, and taking control of the public education system to raise a generation of kids who believe that any answer is the right answer, as long as they feel good about it.   Luckily we're on the winning side....

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:12 | 2765370 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

First, you can SHOVE your goddamn DELUSIONAL with respect to False Flag.  

Second, I guess you are not cognizant of our two new carriers which are to come into service in (I believe) 2014 & 2015.  Last century's technology? DELUSIONAL!

If you want to make a counter-argument in some discourse, do so. But SHOVE your goddamn condescending g attitude.

The current US fleet of Nimitz-class and USS Enterprise carriers will be followed into service (and in some cases replaced) by the Gerald R. Ford-class. It is expected that the ships will be more automated in an effort to reduce the amount of funding required to maintain and operate its supercarriers. The main new features are implementation of Electromagnetic Aircraft Launch System (EMALS) (which replace the old steam catapults) and unmanned aerial vehicles.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:20 | 2765499 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

I think it's more like 2015 and 2020 -- Gerald R. Ford and John F. Kennedy.

I don't care if they put lasers and railguns on them, I just don't see how you can protect a carrier against modern missiles and torpedoes.


Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:24 | 2765516 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

And, by the way, I'm so sick of these names!

Let's hire Iain M. Banks to pick better ones!

I want   USS Ethics Gradient   and   USS No More Mr. Nice Guy !

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 15:45 | 2765579 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Well...hang on...I am surprised that the Ford/Kennedy have not been renamed the Barack H. Obozo and the Michelle L.R. Obozo.

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