Watch The Concluding Euro Summit Press Conference - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture

In a few short minutes, at 4 am local time, Herman Van Rompuy will hold a press conference to formally announce the 50% haircut agreement, to somehow pretend that a 50% haircut is voluntary, and to finally release the captive reporters. Watch it live.

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peekcrackers's picture

rate this rated R for rape of the greek ppl.

LetThemEatRand's picture

More like NC-17.  There's anal.

lizzy36's picture

Fingers crossed that we at least get a Haiku.

CrimsonAvenger's picture

We're fucking over
Everyone we can get to
USA, you're next

danger close here's picture

how to profit from this? when is it time to short euro, es, buy puts?

TradingJoe's picture

Nah think I'm going to bed, there is enough lying already!!! Will focus on how to best exploit this for personal gain, shouldn't we all do that?!?!?

CrashisOptimistic's picture

It's not rape of Greece.  They get 50% of their debt erased.

The banks are another matter.

And precisely what is the value of a CDS in society if 50% write down is not a credit event.  None of them have any value in insuring debt.

All European interest rates should skyrocket immediately if the ability to insure a bond does not exist -- as it clearly does not.  If 50% is not a default, what is?

LetThemEatRand's picture

The banks are going to get backstopped by the taxpayer.  That's where the anal raping comes into play.

peekcrackers's picture

I agree V A T vigorous ASS tapping!

Lady Heather...UNCLE's picture

is that European insignia meant to look like an all seeing eye. Were the illuminati involved in that design?...

PicassoInActions's picture

quick.... any1? short euro or go long?

Pike Bishop's picture

I think I'm gonna go all-in on NFLX. The bond markets and FX are going to be the result of artifice and nonsense. Maybe NFLX will go up, instead of down.

DormRoom's picture

Can't wait for these leaders to shit themselves, if the contagion isn't stopped in the next few months.

kito's picture

this is amazing. so no sovereign will ever "default" if the isda says so?????? i HAVE to be missing something here.....

DormRoom's picture

That's the way I understand it.  yup.   Here's a primer


Here's the breakdown for the determination committe of EMA (Europe, Middle East, Africa)



Voting Dealers
Bank of America / Merrill Lynch
BNP Paribas
Credit Suisse
Deutsche Bank
Goldman Sachs
JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A.
Morgan Stanley
Société Générale

Consultative Dealers
The Royal Bank of Scotland


Voting Non-dealers
BlackRock (Third Term Non-dealer)
BlueMountain Capital (Second Term Non-dealer)
Citadel Investment Group, LLC (First Term Non-dealer)
D.E. Shaw Group (First Term Non-dealer)
Pacific Investment Management Co., LLC (Second Term Non-dealer)


There's some conflict of interests.

kito's picture

so THATS IT?!?!?!? are you kidding me?!?!? all this crap for the past x months, and there is no default because the governing body, run by all of the banks who lose out in the event of a default, say there is no default???!!! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE WE ALL BEEN CONCERNED ABOUT?!?!? what has been the point of relentless coverage of this drama if in the end, they can define the event any way they want? why would anybody fear "contagion" if the isda says what goes??? im done.  im going back to the world that i thought was deluded. now i know it was i who was deluded. i gave up american idol and relentless credit card purchases for what?!?!?!?!?!?

DormRoom's picture

I know this park in New York you can go to, and air your frustration. =) 



Vic Vinegar's picture

What does OWS mean to you?

Pancho Villa's picture

I wonder whether my life insurance policy has a clause specifying that the company, not the doctors or the coroner, gets to decide whether or not I am actually dead.

DormRoom's picture

yes, there is a clause, and corporations have been taking out life insurance polices on their workers for a while.


"Retirement Heist: How Companies Plunder and Profit from the Nest Eggs of American Workers "

-by Pulitzer prize winning journalist, Ellen Schultz

Vic Vinegar's picture


You answered your own question dude - 

i gave up american idol and relentless credit card purchases for what?!?!?!?!?!?

Switch over the X-Factor - Simon is there and Nicole looks good.  Plus you can still earn airline miles for a vacay to the Caribbean with every swipe you make on the Chase card.  Understanding what the phrase "Merkozy" means doesn't get you jack.

Atomizer's picture

Didn't you tell us Gold was going south forever? The fake printing machines have been idling in neutral gear. A worker is going to be told to engage the e-money machine by a stroke of a key.

Comay Mierda's picture

cue epic lawsuits in 3...2...1...

winter is coming's picture

All comes down to  whether any TBTF demand cds's triggers....They will screw others to make a profit and I  hope it happens... Likelyhood of it happening 1%

No One's picture

I just saw some fuck nut say we need to make sure the banks keep lending.. you know what fucker, lending is a risk. The banks lost. Blow this shit up.

hamstercheese's picture

Will someone explain please this recent cut and paste:

"There were concerns that that would require losses that the banks weren't willing to take on voluntarily. Having a voluntary deal is important because imposing losses on banks can trigger massive bond insurance payments that risk creating huge turmoil on global financial markets."

So imposing losses vs a voluntary reduction would cause bond insurance payments from who to who...?? This is a crucial point and would really appreciate someone's clarity here..thanks ahead of time.

No One's picture

They are making shit up as they go along. The only rule is that no bank can take a loss.

web bot's picture

Here's another thought...

When the next shoe drops... you're looking at $1.4Trillion Euro worth of petrol to feed the fury.

This has only begun.

web bot's picture

Could we not get Nigel Farange to interview Van Rompoy?

At least the conference would have credibility with Farange there...  :D

Atomizer's picture

The Milgram Experiments

Collective wisdom salted by fear can progress ailing stagnated societies. Fear in unconventional measures for wealth rewards can disrupt agenda goals.

Not a riddle, face value.

caerus's picture

that's good rompuy

hamstercheese's picture

What about the other 50%? Where's that coming from? Is the ECB only going to monitize half the amount??

Taffy Lewis's picture

Why am I laughing my ass off?

1. Even though I'm a newbie here and don't know much about the financial stuff, I find it exhilarating that I'm in on this global joke of banks and governments whose only plays left in capitalism is swapping debt - and they are even fucking that up. If Krugman's aliens landed and they did a global financial audit, they would say "WTF IS THIS?"

2. I am getting more prepared by the day.

A tip of the hat to ZH and all of the ZH'ers here.