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Watch Obama Discuss the Job Numbers And "Prepare The Nation's Veterans For The Workforce"

Tyler Durden's picture


Watch the live webcast below to hear as "President Obama Speaks on the Administration’s Work to Prepare Our Nation’s Veterans for the Workforce" and discuss today's jobs number in general. Beginning shortly post the fashionably late arrival. As for why a nation's veterans should be preparing for the workforce, well, we leave that one to others smarter than us.


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Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:09 | 1526863 Thorlyx
Thorlyx's picture

This guy must know what he is talking about. All is well....

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:13 | 1526887 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture


Yesterday A BBQ, Today A Chat... How Sweet...

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:23 | 1526955 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture

I wonder what he wished for when he blew out the candles on his birthday cake?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:27 | 1526978 malikai
malikai's picture

Heh. Affirmative action for vets. Just what the economy needs!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:31 | 1527009 TrafficNotHere
TrafficNotHere's picture

Teleprompter in Chief

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:34 | 1527323 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Obama wants one thing and one thing only... to be re-elected.  He will try some game like APPERING to wind down a few wars next year.  That probably means bringing home a few troops and having happy family reuinion-type photo ops on the telly.

As soon as he's re-elected, the REAL story will unfold.  More banker bailouts in the form of QE (other games), more wars... same old con game.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 13:32 | 1527586 Ying-Yang
Ying-Yang's picture

Hey Tyler... I was in my car and Rush Limbaugh just quoted Tyler Durden at about the Jobs numbers at 11:15 AM CST.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:34 | 1527007 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Obama must have an incredibly incompetent advisor, or he is so narcissistic that he is not listening to his advisor, because it's clear that he believes he needs to make a near daily appearance, with each appearance diminishing whatever is left of his now insignificant quantity of credibility.

Face time does NOT EQUAL instilling confidence (CONfidence), Mr. President.

Law of diminishing (or quckly fleeting) returns has already spoken, and with each word you speak, just like with European, Japanese and central bankster blatherers, the more fear is created

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:39 | 1527046 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture

Acually yes, face time does work on most American sheeple.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:11 | 1527172 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Face time works on people as long as they feel the speaker is genuine. Once people get it in their heads that the speaker is lying to them then every subsequent appearance only makes them angrier. How do you think long-term unemployed people feel when Obama talks about the "recovery" and "private sector job growth" for the 1000th time?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:33 | 1527309 Juan Wild
Juan Wild's picture

He's got a 40% approval rating. That means two things. A lot of people are in denial, that is they feel obligated to support him at all costs, or they are in a deep coma.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:36 | 1527332 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

If you combine minorities and die-hard democrats you'll get pretty close to 40%(don't expect this number to fall much lower)

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:51 | 1527407 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture


Acually yes, face time does work on most American sheeple.


Obligatory pic:

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:09 | 1527163 caconhma
caconhma's picture

Obama and his handlers together with the FED are ruining the country.

It is that simple.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:25 | 1527260 Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

From the sound of things, that returning vets won't organize and hang to entire executive branch of government.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:08 | 1526864 caerus
caerus's picture

woohoo!  i love these little chats!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:08 | 1526865 Iriestx
Iriestx's picture

Allow me to be the first to call bullshit.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:31 | 1526866 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture


BUSH was Sooooo Much Better Prezzzident ...

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:04 | 1527134 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

You mean not as horrible. 

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:09 | 1526867 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Verbal diarrhea to commence shortly...

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:02 | 1527129 caconhma
caconhma's picture

You ment mouth diarrhea.

Back in Soviet Union, we had Gorbachov. In America, we got GWB and now Obama.

Well, the final result will be the same: a collapse of the USA.


Gorbachov went to America. Where will Obama go?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:07 | 1527155 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture



Obama will go home.


Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:43 | 1527365 DeltaDawn
DeltaDawn's picture

If only we could get ESPN to make him an offer to sportscast, so he quits his re-election bid. 

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:50 | 1526868 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture


Bring DOWN the market Biatch ...

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:09 | 1526869 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Hey Obama piss off!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:10 | 1526870 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

Watch his lips, if you see them moving, then you know he's lying.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:10 | 1526872 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture


How dare you. I was having breakfast and threw up as this popped up. WTF is this guy gonna to say that is going to change anyhting. Blah Blah Blah and more blah blah blah


Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:11 | 1526873 Gibu The Great
Gibu The Great's picture

Ke$ha was right on this one... blah blah blah

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:24 | 1526962 zerohandle
zerohandle's picture

please go kill yourself

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:33 | 1527036 Gibu The Great
Gibu The Great's picture

after you!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:11 | 1526875 Cassandra Syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome's picture

You would think we all this practice he would now be able to judge the length of time tp finish the 18th.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:14 | 1526891 snowball777
snowball777's picture

He's waiting on Biden to finish retrieving his ball from the woods.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:19 | 1526931 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Obama's game is slowed down because Biden is still learning key verbal commands such as "Go fetch" or "Roll over" and most importantly "Play dead".

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:32 | 1527012 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

I swear it is like he's auditioning for the role of President on The West Wing. What, in all honesty, has this man done? All the mouthbreathers of the so called 'left' can't get enough though.


Fri, 08/05/2011 - 14:59 | 1527870 hardcleareye
hardcleareye's picture

All the mouthbreathers of the so called 'left' can't get enough though.

Here is what a truly left group has to say about Obama (I was interested after reading your post and had to look up left groups, and what they had to say about Obama), here is an example:

Working Families Party

“They manufactured a crisis out of nothing, and they’ve won on every front. The Democrats gave up the store time and time again, and the Republicans kept asking for more. Send a message to New York’s Congressional delegation – Democrats and Republicans alike – that this is not the change you voted for.”

Even though the gallup poll says some 83% of Dem Libs approve of Obama, don't confuse that with the true left, for example Bernie Sanders of Vermont.

"We need a government which represents all the people, not just the wealthy, campaign contributors and lobbyists. "

People in the left are just as disgusted with Obama as the people on the right and in the middle, the only people who like POTUS are his corporate sponsors.  

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:11 | 1526876 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

I don't know why this post made me think of this help me out :)

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:12 | 1526879 mfoste1
mfoste1's picture

"prepare our nations veterans for the workforce"? hmm sounds like a re-election farce play, just the same as his first campaign: "op close guantanamo"{LOL} and "bring troops home from Iraq", when in fact the administration actually had more troops stationed in Afghanistan and Libya than were brought home from Iraq. So now I guess we can assume that there will be another war starting soon.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:32 | 1527016 Tortfeasor
Tortfeasor's picture

I can't hire them.  Homeland Security says they are a terrorist threat.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 14:07 | 1527693 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

As for why a nation's veterans should be preparing for the workforce:

1. Imminent war

2, Soundbite prep for election ads

I think the latter.


Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:12 | 1526881 snowball777
snowball777's picture

The smart veterans will bring home some duty-free goods from Afghanistan and start small retail businesses, if you get my drift.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 14:09 | 1527698 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

Hmmmm. I hear the poor whites in rural used-to-be-middleclass America have taken to snorting heroin.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:12 | 1526882 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

<--- Market reaction Bullish

<--- Market reaction Bearish

C) Obummer is of little importance.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:10 | 1526883 Quintus
Quintus's picture

I feel obliged to watch for professional reasons, but everything about the way Obama speaks, his intonation, his theatrical flourishes and his endless patronising platitudes makes me retch.


The fact that he's generally talking bullshit doesn't help either.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 13:56 | 1527650 Abiotic Oil
Abiotic Oil's picture

He is a master of Neural Linguistic Programming.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:13 | 1526884 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Would rather watch Three Stooges than this crap.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:10 | 1526885 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

And here we go.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:17 | 1526888 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture


With the Barack Hussein Obama, II Finger Puppet, you too can be like Goldman Sachs and have the President say whatever the fuck you want him to say! His all-business blue suit and understanding grin give him the same powerful presence as the real puppet behind the podium.

Tri-mode folksy/ghetto/Ivy League voice changer and Teleprompter not included.


Made in Kenya of artificial materials.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:53 | 1527102 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture


Hehehehehe Good One ...

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:22 | 1527234 Husk-Erzulie
Husk-Erzulie's picture

Man, that is some right special agit-prop.  I predict you take 100 greenies.  :-))

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:14 | 1526890 JSD
JSD's picture

Welcome to the gun show bitchez!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:29 | 1526985 caerus
caerus's picture

also, call the zookeeper cuz there's some pythons on the loose...

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:14 | 1526893 Chump
Chump's picture

It's Friday.  Take a shot every time he says:

~Let me be clear

~Investing in the future



Then take the weekend to recover.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:15 | 1526903 Gibu The Great
Gibu The Great's picture

That's worse than the HIMYM "But Um" drinking game. No one could survive.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:15 | 1526904 Cassandra Syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome's picture

"so that folks can..."

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 14:13 | 1527709 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture


" folks " ?


That's a line out of GWB's speechbook. Fukk 'em both.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:25 | 1526967 Chump
Chump's picture

Obama is a lying piece of shit.  Fuck him, here's some kickass banjo.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:37 | 1527040 Chump
Chump's picture

And some old school flying from Earl the Pearl.


Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:18 | 1527217 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture



Paddle faster...I hear banjos!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:24 | 1527256 Chump
Chump's picture

Just for that, you little effer...

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:38 | 1527053 NuckingFuts
NuckingFuts's picture

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Osborne Brothers.

Nice work Chump.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:00 | 1527120 Chump
Chump's picture

Thanks thanks.  Sonny is an inspiration on the 5-string.  And Bobby, well...

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:16 | 1527200 Chump
Chump's picture

Aw hell, we oughtta round things out with Dr. Stanley's galloping roll.  I forgive you for campaigning for Obama, Ralph, because you are the man, period.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:36 | 1527035 malikai
malikai's picture


Call an ambulance.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:14 | 1526895 Cassandra Syndrome
Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:15 | 1526896 Gibu The Great
Gibu The Great's picture

Looks like the ES wants to take a big steamy dump in front of his pedestal.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:19 | 1526934 Chump
Chump's picture

The White House doesn't worry about things it can't control...lolz

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:15 | 1526899 wombats
wombats's picture

Watch talking heads flap their gums.  Watch the DOW slip lower, lower, lower...

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:15 | 1526902 JSD
JSD's picture

And this is what you call "election damage control".

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:15 | 1526905 alter ego
alter ego's picture

I guess he will appear with a hangover, based that he had a great birthday

bash yesterday in the Whitehouse, with his Hollywood's friends, rappers

and his myriad of followers.


The image that is coming to my mind is he waking up and asking


Hey dude where is my car!



Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:16 | 1526908 Libertarian777
Libertarian777's picture

If you keep hoping the change will come. Let me be clear, there is hope and there is change. Stop being naysayers and eat your peas. We cut the deficit by $24 billion a year in exchange for a more debt of $2 trillion a year. That's austerity American style. We are America! We are impervious to economic laws. The bernak has proven it. Remember, this administration has created or saved 130 million jobs daily. If you get to go to work tomorrow, it's because of this administration's stimulus and economic policies. Without us everyone would be unemployed.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:13 | 1526909 Kyron95131
Kyron95131's picture

thats so wierd!

how did they get the oligarchs of rome to dress so modern?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:16 | 1526910 gaijin
gaijin's picture

Connecting vets with community organizers? wtf?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:27 | 1526994 Printfaster
Printfaster's picture

The job of community organizer was called commissar in the USSR.

Bringing vets to community organizers, is putting them into contact with their commissar to assure that they stay in line, or they will be reported to the KGB.

This jackass is organizing a communist state.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:05 | 1527145 espirit
espirit's picture

Sad that we need to prepare our Vets to flip McBurgers or ring the register at WallyWorld, as that's where all the "good" jobs are at.

Great reset needs to start at the top.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:16 | 1526911 machineh
machineh's picture

S&P crashing to new lows as miltard Mullen jabbers

Poetic justice!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:17 | 1526913 alter ego
alter ego's picture

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:14 | 1526914 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

This general (?) doesn´t use the teleprompter???

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:17 | 1526915 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

As a military wife, I'm a bit sickened at the thought that the military is Obama's top priority.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:21 | 1526940 Chump
Chump's picture

I hope your whippersnapper is doing well.  Ours won't quit trying to crawl to his death every waking second.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:27 | 1526975 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

She is, thank you!  Jane's also a daredevil crawler; I guess it comes from having older brothers.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:22 | 1526953 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

You should be afraid......very afraid

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:46 | 1527079 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Is it him that makes you nauseous or the fact he's playing the 'I'm from the Government and I'm here to help' line? Or the fact that the Left's Golden Boy has the 'Merde Touch' that turns everything he touches into pure shit?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:55 | 1527109 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

D) All of the above.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:16 | 1526918 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

what beggary!


so transparent!


so veterans get to cut the unemployment line? military families first? how about truly qualified candidates first (like the soon to be unemployed banksters ;) )?


this planet is fucked thx to Homo Sap.


Obummer is unfunny joke!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:18 | 1526921 Cassandra Syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome's picture

Ha ha, muted reception for Darth Obama

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:17 | 1526922 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

It's bad when he does anything with the military.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:17 | 1526925 Gert_B_Frobe
Gert_B_Frobe's picture

Market bumps and grinds until ... 11am speech hits and starts its slip slidin' away.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:18 | 1526926 sabra1
sabra1's picture

the so called jobs for these vets, is when they start rounding up terrorist americans that dare speak evil against oBLAHma. fema camps anyone. did you all know that hundreds of these camps are going up at the canadian/american border. being canadian, i'll break you all out for a bit of gold!!!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:18 | 1526928 Shitters_Full
Shitters_Full's picture

Crowd had to be prompted to cheer for him.  Ouchers!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:23 | 1526956 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

yeah i caught that too, on his bday no less.   turned it off after that.   all that needed to be said was said right there.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:19 | 1526930 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

The teleprompter down or something?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:19 | 1526933 KnightsofNee
KnightsofNee's picture

Does he include the Marine Corpse?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:20 | 1526936 docj
docj's picture

It's times like this that I'm actually grateful my internet connection at work is so crappy I can't stream video.

I'd frankly rather be kicked swiftly in the pills by a 7th-degree Taw Kwon Do black belt wearing steel-reinforced workshoes than listen to this empty suit lecture me once more about anything.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:20 | 1526939 Bazooka
Bazooka's picture

The Fucker was waiting 2 minutes in utter dumb silence for his....TELEPROMPT!!!!!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:22 | 1526945 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Veterans already get priority seating at the US Post Office...

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:19 | 1526946 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

MLK was right, this really is Rome all over again.

Far too many people just ignore the past and assume there is nothing worthwhile even exploring. This is why history repeats, largely because of the arrogance of mankind in assuming he  is better than all those who preceded him.

 What Destroyed Rome


Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:33 | 1527017 RichardP
RichardP's picture

Your comment presumes folks have studied history.  Without such study, no one knows what the folks who came before were like - a prerequisite to feeling superior.  Most folks don't study history.  History repeats  because history is made up of human behavior.  And human nature stays pretty much the same across thousands of generations, so behavior does too.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:20 | 1526949 Iriestx
Iriestx's picture

Shell-shocked PTSD'd out vets coming back from Iraq/Afghanistan, who join the military because they didn't have any job skills or education in the first place, are now getting to cut to the front of the unemployment line?  Why hire qualified people when you can hire a tax break!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:23 | 1526954 kito
kito's picture

"i want to thank all the good people of this nation for your birthday wishes and your gifts. in particular, im appreciative of the generosity of those whose gifts included silver eagles. since im not a big fan of the eagles, and wouldve preferred commemorative state quarters, i gifted them to my dear friend and avid silver eagle collector, jamie dimon, who seemed relieved to receive so much silver....."

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:24 | 1526960 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Were all those people in the background told not to move and try not to blink?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:40 | 1527057 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

O's aura is dumb striking.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:24 | 1526961 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

Did you see the teleprompter facing the said "APPLAUSE".....

Somebody give that guy Cymbals and a cute straw hat and a cup at his feet....

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:29 | 1526987 Chump
Chump's picture

Please, please, you have to be kidding.  Surely there is not prompter for audience instructions.  Please be kidding.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:36 | 1527037 RichardP
RichardP's picture

They have prompters for audience response at live TV shows.  This was a TV show, so one would expect the prompters.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:43 | 1527067 Chump
Chump's picture

No, I did not expect the audience prompters.  Maybe I'm naive, but shit just got really real for me.  Everything I've learned from ZH and the like, and this is what shakes me to the core.  We are so fucking fucked.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:34 | 1527025 ricksventures
ricksventures's picture

yeah, its funny right ? its gonna be more fun when they come for your property and your wife and kiddos

stupid 'mericans been living large for too long....

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:49 | 1527089 Chump
Chump's picture

I guess it's good then that we have a shitload of guns.  The fireworks should be pretty!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:25 | 1526968 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

douche bag

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:26 | 1526970 ricksventures
ricksventures's picture

There is only ONE solution:


STEP 1. Play ONE by Metallica

STEP 2. Watch the best scene from Deer Hunter and IMAGINE the patriots being the Deer Hunters and those puppets in the stream being the VietKong, the only ONE solution


Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:27 | 1526977 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

That's an awesome song, especially experienced live.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:27 | 1526976 ABCStore
ABCStore's picture

Is he watching Wimbledon?


Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:31 | 1527022 Printfaster
Printfaster's picture

He has two telprompters.

Obama's problem has always been  that could never make a decision.  Let' see:  Left teleprompter, no.  Right teleprompter, that is no better.  Better go back to the left.  No ...

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:27 | 1526979 bania
bania's picture

if Martial Law is implementd and FEMA camps are running at full tilt, Veteran's should be fully employed

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:29 | 1526982 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

Reverse bootcamp bitches!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:29 | 1526984 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

is he dyeing his temples grey to look distinguished, or is he experiencing the uber fast aging all presidents seem to experience in that office?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:29 | 1526986 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Reverse Boot Camp? WTF!

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:27 | 1526989 Cassandra Syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome's picture

Reverse bootcamp Bitchez!!!

There's one for Williabanzai7 to amuse us with, using his hilarious images!


Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:34 | 1527027 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

'Reverse bootcamp'

That means instead of kicking returning soldiers in ass, they will kick them in balls.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:30 | 1526993 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

Sounds like there are going to be a lot more veterans looking for work soon.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:15 | 1527206 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

That's my read on it as well. I think Obama is telegraphing the fact that military cuts are inevitable and coming sooner than he would have liked (as in before the end of his presumptive 2nd term)

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:30 | 1526995 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

The market is not buying his bullshit.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:30 | 1526996 Animal Cracker
Animal Cracker's picture

Reverse bootcamp! 

Supersized burger meals and TeeVee on the couch, bitchez!

Now you're ready to be a prole.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:31 | 1526997 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

The two pillars that the dollar and Federal Reserve rest on are the income tax and the US military. Right?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:31 | 1526999 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

is the guy with the red tie alive, or a mannequin?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:31 | 1527000 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

put the deer in the headlights behind Obumma. Thats what those people look like

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:42 | 1527065 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

that has some upside.


replace the eagle with the deer


Biggest FSA in the world.....99% of vets who never got within a hundred miles of a fight.



Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:32 | 1527001 Bob
Bob's picture

"Returning Heroes Business Tax Credit" and "9-11 Survivor Business Tax Credit." 

What a hideously cheap propaganda tool this bitch is. 

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:31 | 1527003 tickhound
tickhound's picture

Let's hope this workforce bears no resemblance to the Gestapo.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:28 | 1527005 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

To Summerize so far,

-Military training is equal to or better than private sector training.

-Companies need new employees to grow.

-If you are not a gooberment employee then, FUCK YOU, you have no place in the new economy.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:35 | 1527028 -Michelle-
-Michelle-'s picture

No, the translation is is "we don't want a bunch of young guys with military training and no prospects sitting around and getting bored."

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:06 | 1527150 narapoiddyslexia
narapoiddyslexia's picture


Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:31 | 1527006 Eagle Keeper
Eagle Keeper's picture

Everything he says he is going to do wont happen until after his second term is up. 

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:44 | 1527072 karzai_luver
karzai_luver's picture

Biggest FSA in the world.....99% of vets who never got within a hundred miles of a fight.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:32 | 1527014 Cassandra Syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome's picture

Problem Solved.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:32 | 1527015 jjsilver
jjsilver's picture

Bill Thorton of talks about what it means to be a citizen of the US or a free man or woman on the land not under the jurisdiction of the corporate UNITED STATES. what do you want to be?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:34 | 1527018 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Microsoft helping 10,000 veterans get IT certified...  LOL...  For what?  So they can join the ranks of IT professionals at McDonalds?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:38 | 1527054 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

No shit! Microsoft is on that unstoppable decline into oblivion. The only "advancements" they are making is buying other obsolete company’s like Skype.


Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:54 | 1527105 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture

So they can operate TSA body scanners?

Just a guess.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:33 | 1527019 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Circus music?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:34 | 1527023 JSD
JSD's picture

"I'm inspired. I think I will hire a veteran! Oh wait...I'm unemployed.  Doh!"

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:36 | 1527033 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

what happen to the jive talk accent from yesterday

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:48 | 1527075 Bob
Bob's picture

I haven't heard anybody talk about the issue of his accent before.  Consider: He grew up in a white family in Hawaii, attended the nation's biggest private school in Honolulu, where he was virtually the only black kid in attendance and was known as "Barry," before he went on to Columbia and Harvard. 

Question: How old was Barry before he learned to speak with a "black" inflection? 

Picture Steve Martin in The Jerk or B-Rad "scared white" in Malibu's Most Wanted.

Obama, working "so hard to fit in" as a kid who had no black kids around but was surrounded, instead, by only white people.  And primariy only the priviledged and educated kind of white people up through graduation from Harvard. 

How old was Obama when he picked up the black accent? 

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:17 | 1527204 I Got Worms
I Got Worms's picture

Maybe he ran with a bunch of gangstaz in Indonesia?

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:27 | 1527259 Bob
Bob's picture

As we say around Motown, that mother fucker din't never see a mile road south of Ten!  Until he left Harvard, of course. 

So you could say that Barry needed to go to Chicago to "learn to be black."  Problem is, that's way too late for anything more than cosmetics. 

If Barry still spoke in his actual native tongue, he'd sound just like Mitt Romney. 

He'd impact us as an entirely different character if he did that, though.  And you wouldn't be the least bit surprised that he's selling the masses out to Wall Street. 

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:44 | 1527372 Lord Blankcheck
Lord Blankcheck's picture

What if there's more than one Barry?Why does he where his watch on his left hand?When he is left handed.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:33 | 1527034 Wilk
Wilk's picture

Wisdom from FZ comes to mind:

I am gross and perverted
Im obsessed n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little had changed
I am the tool of the government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you

I may be vile and pernicious
But you can't look away
I make you think Im delicious
With the stuff that I say
I am the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I am the slime oozin out
From your tv set

You will obey me while I lead you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don't need you
Don't got for one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:39 | 1527047 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Yes, prepare for something that doesn't exist.  Go plop down $35k to go to a private IT school for 6 months.  Watch what happens.

Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:36 | 1527048 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

hiring a veteran is a great idea, until you have to fire them, then it could be dangerous

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