Watch Trichet's Last ECB Press Conference Live

Tyler Durden's picture

Update: Trichet announces two fixed rate LTRO tender operations, one 12 month in October, and one 13 month in December, very much as expected. In other words, the ECB will repo even more crap than it has already.

Update 2: Trichet announces CBPP2 - a new €40 billion Covered Bond Purchase Program, i.e. a new €40 billion QE program as the ECB will purhcase covered bonds in primary and secondary markets.

A historic press conference is about to unfold, in which the current ECB president, in a state of complete denial about the imminent implosion of his continent, will mumble for 45 minutes one last time and attempt to preserve his "legacy" after which he will hand over the "printer" briefcase and secret codes to none other than Goldman's Mario Draghi. And Goldman, as is well known to Zero Hedge readers, is certainly not nearly as shy as ole' Tricky to print when needed. Expect some vague promises of more liquidity, possibly the reopening of a 1 or 2 year repo line in which the ECB will accept even more used banana peels and sexual prophylactics in exchange for euros, and an overall deflationary bias. It doesn't matter. It is too late. More importantly, today's "shot rules" are a shot of Jager every time the words "price stabeeleetee" are uttered. Trichet's full prepared remarks transcript can be found here.

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wang's picture
wang (not verified) Oct 6, 2011 8:35 AM

Did they ever try to seduce you with a chambermaid?

 

(here is a link to a free standing player of the above broadcast)

http://bit.ly/qBXerS

MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

Trichet will be remembered as one of the stingiest ECB chairmen ever. I will never forget the time when Trichet raised the ECB benchmark lending rate, sending euro bonds plummeting and hammering the balance sheets of many of my financial stocks with exposure to European debt. Trichet is a selfish pig, with no regard for those of us with buy-and-hold equity portfolios. My heart goes out to those patriotic European investors who suffered the same consequences with their Euro-stock and bond portfolios.

strannick's picture

So, the ECB repos Euros for used banana peels and condoms (European Bank toxic assets, Greek bonds, ect.) and the US -as confirmed two days ago by Bernanke on TV- repos unlimited dollars for Euros? We should just skip all the repos and make used banana peels and condoms the currency.

covert's picture

always more lies, never the truth.

http://expose2.wordpress.com

 

knight99's picture

Lower Euro i need it man.

Ratscam's picture

why does trichet call it LTRO?
Let,s call it for what it is: TROL!

misterc's picture

I hate this priggish, complacent French bastard. 

LibertyIn2010's picture

I hate this priggish, complacent French bastard.

- From the Department of Redundancy Dept.

vast-dom's picture

Mumbling is preferable at this stage in the game. 

GeneMarchbanks's picture

"price stabeeleetee"

It hasn't even started and I'm already tipsy from the smell...

Let me add quickly before I black-out, there was some weird tension going on here. Europe is heading back to tribalism while Trichet retires in Monte Carlo.

Global Hunter's picture

He brought us all market stability what more needs to be said?

Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Obummer-Style of being late!

Wakanda's picture

Jager ready!

Let's get this party rollin'.

11 days until Black Monday II

PulauHantu29's picture

Bank of England Surprises Market With Large Expansion to Asset Purchase Plan; Pound Collapses


International Jonathan Granby, On Thursday October 6, 2011, 7:24 am EDT The decision to expand asset purchases made by the MPC was certainly expected but the timing and size of the action has caught many by surprise which has led to a sizeable Sterling sell-off intraday….

 

The Bank of England has moved to expand its asset purchase plan by 75 billion pounds to 275 billion pounds. An action which has defied expectations of a move of 50 billion pounds in coming months, few had suggested the central bank would act in October. The MPC voted to keep its interest rates on hold at 0.50%. While the action itself is not all that shocking since the market was broadly expecting the Bank of England to expand its asset purchase plan in coming months to support the floundering economy the size and timing of the action was certainly surprising. The shock factor of the size...cont

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Bank-England-Surprises-Market-fxcm-5517415...

 

Glad you can't eaty gold or I'd be buying it by the mouthfull.

alien-IQ's picture

must it be shots of Jager? really?

Curtis LeMay's picture

Yah...but..will he tell the truth - finally...

Kina's picture

Authorities are trying to determine if this was Timah, the Bernanke or Trichit or Blythe Masters doing her thing at work.

Or are they all the same person.

 

They deliver, and the MSM spend all their time polishing every turd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD3nPwk9JAw&feature=related

Zgangsta's picture

"sexual prophylactics"?  I didn't realize there was any other kind.

Pangasius's picture


prophylacticsplural of pro·phy·lac·tic (Noun)

Noun:
  1. A medicine or course of action used to prevent disease.
  2. A condom
Curtis LeMay's picture

Fix your fucking ECB link, twats

DaBernank's picture

Vee haf ze prrrrice stabiliteeeeeeee!!!!

will turn into

Weee-ah need-ah more-ah Euros!

Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Wow, already in the introduction a 'ze price stabeleteee'

Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

*13* months LTRO fixed-interest tender. Huh?

Josh Randall's picture

There is only one CB and that is the FED --- these other entities/Central Banks will become obsolete.  this guy has his Golden Parachute packed and is hitting the road

SheepDog-One's picture

And the BBC and world media were 'SHOCKED' when Allesio said in the interview 'Goldman Sachs rules the world'?

PaperBear's picture

Did he just say that 12 month QE was to start October and 13 month QE was to start December ?

PaperBear's picture

"Covered bond" ?

Other phrase for QE ?

buzzsaw99's picture

good riddance to just another maggot banker

dermus's picture

I just shorted Deutsche Bank. I hope this fucker doesn't screw me up.

the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Euro Zone Inflation low, growth rate high, future is bright.  I did a great job.   Well thats it for me , retirement, see ya suckers on the golf course.  hahahahahaha

hourglass86's picture

Buaahahhahaha! WHAT DOES THIS FRENCH BANKER SMOKE?!!!

equity_momo's picture

I'd rather go down on Lagarde after she'd done a spin class than listen to this idiot for 45 minutes.

pods's picture

Note to self:

Read comment, THEN sip coffee.  

pods

Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

German commentary: Draghi is a hawk for ZE PRICE STABELETEEE --- o'rly? wahahahah.

LongSoupLine's picture

Holy Crap!!...I don't have nearly enough Jager in my bar freezer.

Miss Expectations's picture

"More importantly, today's "shot rules" are a shot of Jager every time the words "price stabeeleetee" are uttered."

This challenge scares me.  Oh, what the hell, why should we even bother pacing ourselves?  At 5 syllables, could probably do 3 shots per utterance.

YuropeanImbecille's picture

These are the kind of rotten psychopats we tried to rid ourselves during the WW2... well the war was lost and now we, and our children and their children will pay the price.

Michelle's picture

Shorts better cover, no recession happening, earnings season starting and I expect more upside from here.

LongSoupLine's picture

Obviously not a troll...

Love to see the IP trace on this one.

Michelle's picture

See, I told ya! Green Green Green!

Volaille de Bresse's picture

"I hate this priggish, complacent French bastard"

 

Fyi he shouldn't be here right now. He was put in that position after a diktat by Chirac. Everyone in Europe knew he was a tool but they relinquished and  "agreed" on Trichet provided he wouldn't be around for long (3 4 years). After that a competent person would replace Trichet. That guy was to be Wim Duisenberg alas he died prematurely in 2005. So Trichet glued his ass to his barstool... and in 2011 he's still here... prancing like a twin of Bernanke.

GeneMarchbanks's picture

'Everyone in Europe knew he was a tool but they relinquished and  "agreed" on Trichet provided he wouldn't be around for long (3 4 years).'

Being a tool is the job itself, the very essence. It doesn't matter whether it's Trichet, Draghi or Twiddy bird.

PaperBear's picture

He has "price stability" again, how many times has he said these words during his speech ?

dermus's picture

I had to quit the drinking game after he said price stability 5 times in a row in one minute. I was at 4 shots of vodka.

LMAO's picture

Interesting to see if we are selling this "news".

BOE expaaaanding QE + ECB donkaments = flushing crispy fiatscos down the shitter at record pace.

And there we have the leaked reason for the market ramp we have witnessed; the mere promise to ignore the problems and continue the print-fest.

Wolferl's picture

Trichet is a criminal, who should be in prison for the short rest of his life.

catacl1sm's picture

Is this bullish?

Atomizer's picture

Trichet has been regurgitating his krisis prevention model for years.

 

2007 - Brussels Minute

Good riddence.