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Watch Trichet's Last ECB Press Conference Live

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Update: Trichet announces two fixed rate LTRO tender operations, one 12 month in October, and one 13 month in December, very much as expected. In other words, the ECB will repo even more crap than it has already.

Update 2: Trichet announces CBPP2 - a new €40 billion Covered Bond Purchase Program, i.e. a new €40 billion QE program as the ECB will purhcase covered bonds in primary and secondary markets.

A historic press conference is about to unfold, in which the current ECB president, in a state of complete denial about the imminent implosion of his continent, will mumble for 45 minutes one last time and attempt to preserve his "legacy" after which he will hand over the "printer" briefcase and secret codes to none other than Goldman's Mario Draghi. And Goldman, as is well known to Zero Hedge readers, is certainly not nearly as shy as ole' Tricky to print when needed. Expect some vague promises of more liquidity, possibly the reopening of a 1 or 2 year repo line in which the ECB will accept even more used banana peels and sexual prophylactics in exchange for euros, and an overall deflationary bias. It doesn't matter. It is too late. More importantly, today's "shot rules" are a shot of Jager every time the words "price stabeeleetee" are uttered. Trichet's full prepared remarks transcript can be found here.

 

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Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:35 | 1744803 wang (not verified)
wang's picture

Did they ever try to seduce you with a chambermaid?

 

(here is a link to a free standing player of the above broadcast)

http://bit.ly/qBXerS

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:11 | 1744989 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

Trichet will be remembered as one of the stingiest ECB chairmen ever. I will never forget the time when Trichet raised the ECB benchmark lending rate, sending euro bonds plummeting and hammering the balance sheets of many of my financial stocks with exposure to European debt. Trichet is a selfish pig, with no regard for those of us with buy-and-hold equity portfolios. My heart goes out to those patriotic European investors who suffered the same consequences with their Euro-stock and bond portfolios.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:24 | 1745052 strannick
strannick's picture

So, the ECB repos Euros for used banana peels and condoms (European Bank toxic assets, Greek bonds, ect.) and the US -as confirmed two days ago by Bernanke on TV- repos unlimited dollars for Euros? We should just skip all the repos and make used banana peels and condoms the currency.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:34 | 1745092 covert
covert's picture

always more lies, never the truth.

http://expose2.wordpress.com

 

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:28 | 1744804 knight99
knight99's picture

Lower Euro i need it man.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:34 | 1745090 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

why does trichet call it LTRO?
Let,s call it for what it is: TROL!

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:29 | 1744808 misterc
misterc's picture

I hate this priggish, complacent French bastard. 

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:51 | 1744903 LibertyIn2010
LibertyIn2010's picture

I hate this priggish, complacent French bastard.

- From the Department of Redundancy Dept.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:29 | 1744809 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Mumbling is preferable at this stage in the game. 

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:01 | 1744815 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

"price stabeeleetee"

It hasn't even started and I'm already tipsy from the smell...

Let me add quickly before I black-out, there was some weird tension going on here. Europe is heading back to tribalism while Trichet retires in Monte Carlo.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:30 | 1744817 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

He brought us all market stability what more needs to be said?

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:31 | 1744823 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Obummer-Style of being late!

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:32 | 1744827 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Jager ready!

Let's get this party rollin'.

11 days until Black Monday II

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:32 | 1744828 PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture

Bank of England Surprises Market With Large Expansion to Asset Purchase Plan; Pound Collapses


International Jonathan Granby, On Thursday October 6, 2011, 7:24 am EDT The decision to expand asset purchases made by the MPC was certainly expected but the timing and size of the action has caught many by surprise which has led to a sizeable Sterling sell-off intraday….

 

The Bank of England has moved to expand its asset purchase plan by 75 billion pounds to 275 billion pounds. An action which has defied expectations of a move of 50 billion pounds in coming months, few had suggested the central bank would act in October. The MPC voted to keep its interest rates on hold at 0.50%. While the action itself is not all that shocking since the market was broadly expecting the Bank of England to expand its asset purchase plan in coming months to support the floundering economy the size and timing of the action was certainly surprising. The shock factor of the size...cont

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Bank-England-Surprises-Market-fxcm-5517415...

 

Glad you can't eaty gold or I'd be buying it by the mouthfull.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:33 | 1744831 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

must it be shots of Jager? really?

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:33 | 1744832 Curtis LeMay
Curtis LeMay's picture

Yah...but..will he tell the truth - finally...

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:34 | 1744838 Kina
Kina's picture

Authorities are trying to determine if this was Timah, the Bernanke or Trichit or Blythe Masters doing her thing at work.

Or are they all the same person.

 

They deliver, and the MSM spend all their time polishing every turd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD3nPwk9JAw&feature=related

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:36 | 1744846 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

"sexual prophylactics"?  I didn't realize there was any other kind.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:06 | 1744974 Pangasius
Pangasius's picture


prophylacticsplural of pro·phy·lac·tic (Noun)

Noun:
  1. A medicine or course of action used to prevent disease.
  2. A condom
Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:38 | 1744850 The Piker
The Piker's picture

Meister!

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:39 | 1744854 Curtis LeMay
Curtis LeMay's picture

Fix your fucking ECB link, twats

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:39 | 1744856 DaBernank
DaBernank's picture

Vee haf ze prrrrice stabiliteeeeeeee!!!!

will turn into

Weee-ah need-ah more-ah Euros!

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:41 | 1744859 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Wow, already in the introduction a 'ze price stabeleteee'

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:44 | 1744868 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

*13* months LTRO fixed-interest tender. Huh?

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:44 | 1744870 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

There is only one CB and that is the FED --- these other entities/Central Banks will become obsolete.  this guy has his Golden Parachute packed and is hitting the road

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:45 | 1744875 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

And the BBC and world media were 'SHOCKED' when Allesio said in the interview 'Goldman Sachs rules the world'?

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:46 | 1744880 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

Did he just say that 12 month QE was to start October and 13 month QE was to start December ?

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:46 | 1744883 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

"Covered bond" ?

Other phrase for QE ?

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:48 | 1744889 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

good riddance to just another maggot banker

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:52 | 1744905 dermus
dermus's picture

I just shorted Deutsche Bank. I hope this fucker doesn't screw me up.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:52 | 1744910 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Euro Zone Inflation low, growth rate high, future is bright.  I did a great job.   Well thats it for me , retirement, see ya suckers on the golf course.  hahahahahaha

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:55 | 1744918 hourglass86
hourglass86's picture

Buaahahhahaha! WHAT DOES THIS FRENCH BANKER SMOKE?!!!

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:58 | 1744928 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

I'd rather go down on Lagarde after she'd done a spin class than listen to this idiot for 45 minutes.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:22 | 1745042 pods
pods's picture

Note to self:

Read comment, THEN sip coffee.  

pods

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:59 | 1744933 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

German commentary: Draghi is a hawk for ZE PRICE STABELETEEE --- o'rly? wahahahah.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 08:59 | 1744937 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Holy Crap!!...I don't have nearly enough Jager in my bar freezer.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:00 | 1744941 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

"More importantly, today's "shot rules" are a shot of Jager every time the words "price stabeeleetee" are uttered."

This challenge scares me.  Oh, what the hell, why should we even bother pacing ourselves?  At 5 syllables, could probably do 3 shots per utterance.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:00 | 1744947 YuropeanImbecille
YuropeanImbecille's picture

These are the kind of rotten psychopats we tried to rid ourselves during the WW2... well the war was lost and now we, and our children and their children will pay the price.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:03 | 1744959 Michelle
Michelle's picture

Shorts better cover, no recession happening, earnings season starting and I expect more upside from here.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:17 | 1745030 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Obviously not a troll...

Love to see the IP trace on this one.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 11:48 | 1745950 Michelle
Michelle's picture

See, I told ya! Green Green Green!

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:03 | 1744962 Volaille de Bresse
Volaille de Bresse's picture

"I hate this priggish, complacent French bastard"

 

Fyi he shouldn't be here right now. He was put in that position after a diktat by Chirac. Everyone in Europe knew he was a tool but they relinquished and  "agreed" on Trichet provided he wouldn't be around for long (3 4 years). After that a competent person would replace Trichet. That guy was to be Wim Duisenberg alas he died prematurely in 2005. So Trichet glued his ass to his barstool... and in 2011 he's still here... prancing like a twin of Bernanke.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:11 | 1744998 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

'Everyone in Europe knew he was a tool but they relinquished and  "agreed" on Trichet provided he wouldn't be around for long (3 4 years).'

Being a tool is the job itself, the very essence. It doesn't matter whether it's Trichet, Draghi or Twiddy bird.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:04 | 1744963 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

He has "price stability" again, how many times has he said these words during his speech ?

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:06 | 1744970 dermus
dermus's picture

I had to quit the drinking game after he said price stability 5 times in a row in one minute. I was at 4 shots of vodka.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:13 | 1744988 LMAO
LMAO's picture

Interesting to see if we are selling this "news".

BOE expaaaanding QE + ECB donkaments = flushing crispy fiatscos down the shitter at record pace.

And there we have the leaked reason for the market ramp we have witnessed; the mere promise to ignore the problems and continue the print-fest.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:17 | 1745021 Pangasius
Pangasius's picture

 

 

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:20 | 1745037 Wolferl
Wolferl's picture

Trichet is a criminal, who should be in prison for the short rest of his life.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:24 | 1745056 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Is this bullish?

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:25 | 1745058 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Trichet has been regurgitating his krisis prevention model for years.

 

2007 - Brussels Minute

Good riddence.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:28 | 1745071 Mr_Wonderful
Mr_Wonderful's picture

Rally is weak, typical bear market activity.

Tuesday a third of stocks (2300) hit a new low.

They want to try for the falling 50-day MA at 1183 but will probably stall at 1160 or so, the top of the descending trade channel they started a month ago. That is if Mr. Bull doesn´t give up the ghost today.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:31 | 1745084 Shit Bag
Shit Bag's picture

Not QE Tyler.

 

Moneyprinting = QE

Moneyborrowing = NOT QE

 

I know it's a very boring thing to do, but you should spend more time studying Euro crap.

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:42 | 1745127 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

Open market bond purchasing: QE

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 10:30 | 1745437 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

spoken like a true shit_bag!

Jager for tyler, stat!

bong for slewie!

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:32 | 1745085 u5urp3r
u5urp3r's picture

I got close to 10 "price stabliteeeez" now. Be thankful "financiale stabliteeee" is not in the game or you would be past chatting up the nearest fat chick and on the floor in a pool of your own lack of stabliteeeez. Non?

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:33 | 1745091 snowball777
snowball777's picture

"We are very careful of what we are doing..."

Hahahahahaaaaaaaa!

 

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:35 | 1745095 Stuart
Stuart's picture

Hey Trichet, don't let the microphone hit you in the ass on the way out!

Thu, 10/06/2011 - 09:43 | 1745137 u5urp3r
u5urp3r's picture

Four more "price stabiliteeez" in less than 10 seconds... LOL. I tip my hat to anyone still in this.

Wed, 10/12/2011 - 10:24 | 1765565 karmete
karmete's picture

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