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"Weaker Euroland" - Two Unhappy Holiday Jingles
A holiday jingle, via UBS Credit Strategy
"Weaker Euroland" - sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland"
Credit calling, are you listening?
On the horizon, defaults are looming
A dreadful sight,
To see high yield's plight,
Walking in a weaker Euroland.
Without a pledge from the German,
Credit spreads are gonna widen
Who wants to pay?
For the peripheral disarray
Walking in a weaker Euroland.
In the markets we can't refinance,
So we put the blame on the ECB
She'll say: What about austerity?
We'll say: No miss,
But you can give us loans
Before we go into bankruptcy.
Later on, sovereigns will conspire,
And on Britain put more pressure
To face unafraid,
The downgrades ahead,
Walking in a weaker Euroland.
In the markets, you can go long financials
And not be taken for a circus clown.
Strong banks and sovereigns are fundamentals
We believe these won't let you down.
When comes a summit, ain't it thrilling,
Though the markets get a chilling
We'll frolic and play, the Credit Strategy way,
Walking in a weaker Euroland.
Walking in a weaker Euroland.
Walking in a weaker Euroland.
And special bonus, from UBS Morning Walk
Europe Got Run Over by a debt crisis
(sung to the tune of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer)
Europe got run over by a debt crisis
drowned in peripheral debt on Christmas eve
you could say there's no such thing as insolvency
but as for me and Germany we believe
she'd been drinking ECB liquidity
we begged her not to let Greece go
but she forgot about austerity
so recession was the only way to go
when we found her Christmas morning,
bond market was under attack
and then the downgrades just came pouring,
and demand for Euro debt was next to jack
Europe got run over by a debt crisis
drowned in peripheral debt on Christmas eve
you could say there's no such thing as insolvency
but as for me and Germany we believe
now we all just blame Bernanke
he's been taking this so well
see him in there watching football,
drinking beer, scratching his head while markets fell
its not Christmas without our bonus,
vacation plans got shot to hell,
and we just cant help but wonder,
Senior Fins, should we buy or should we sell?
Europe got run over by a debt crisis
drowned in peripheral debt on Christmas eve
you could say there's no such thing as insolvency
but as for me and Germany we believe
»
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Nice to see UBS embrace the spirit of Christ.
As a European I look back upon the last few years in dismay! The economy has lost that vital ingredient that I refer to as "the feel good factor." Moreover we lack someone like Ben Bernanke or Melvin King, the kind of learned risk taker needed to get things going again. However, I think we are in a fantastic position to learn from their mistakes; they did the right thing buy injecting liquidity but this hasnt exactly led to the desired effect; the housing market hasnt recovered as it should have done; commodities have been climbing - mainly due to internet fulled slandering of good currencies.
Therefore indead of this scatter gun approach I suggest we employ a precision rifle! Its simple, here is my suggestion: Guarantee a 15% annual increase in all house prices with the money coming from the ECB, plus nominal inflation of 5%. How to do this I hear you cry? Well you just cap commodity prices. Gold $700, silver $10, farmland a few thousand euros per acre, apples 20 cents etc etc. In this system the money would go where its intended to go; everyone would soon start buying houses like crazy again; in turn they would spend more as they have the security of a valuable home behind them, retail and tourism would once again flourish...in shot it would be the return of that magical "feel good factor."
I don't know you well enough to determine whether you're being i) satirical or ii) Paul Krugman.
This should make UBS customer feel confident
Don't call us...
There's 1 trillion in 2 parts of 500 billion flowing into the banks in the next 7 weeks so that will buy us a couple of months.
Nothing more...
But yet again the cn has be kicked.
Up to you again US.
The entire world is in a giant economic circle-jerk, everyone kicking the can to everybody else. At the end of the day we're still going to have a huge economic collapse.
put some paper in the juke box and play burl ives singing silver and gold
In the meadow we can see Merkozy...
Tyler, DO NOT quit your day-job. 8D
Ho Ho Ho
... which would be to compile the "best" UBS holiday theme songs?
When does the accompanying music video premiere? I've got my VEVO bookmarked.
and look...on Ransquawk...the holiday shopping season is wrapping up to be better than expected! YAY!!! Santa fixed it!! /sarc
Did you know the smartest character in frosty the Snowman is the rabbit.
Im taking his lead and heading down a hole.
ho hum Year it was...Mkt gyrated to nowhere.
.
Uhh- they should stick to banking.
On second thought they suck at that, too.
instead of UBS asking the Occupy guys to leave their premises in London. They should incorporate 'Bank of Ideas' as their head office
http://www.bankofideas.org.uk/
Hey, but it's worse in the US.
Thought I'd be the first to get that out:)
May a few more bankers take up flying in the Yr ahead..!
My humble and very amatuer Holiday Tune offering:
Benny, the Red-Nosed Fed Boss
Benny the red-nosed fed boss
Collapsed the world economy
All of the games that he played
Ruined the lives of you and me
All of the other gov’ners
Used to vote the way he named
Even though they knew that Benny
Was fiscally quite deranged
Then one joyous christmas eve
Honest people came to say
“Benny, you have have hosed us tight
We think that you should leave tonight!”
All the other gov’ners left too
It was really quite a scene
The economy worked out ok!
Oh wait, that was just a Christmas dream…
I’m Dreaming of a Debt-Free Christmas
I’m dreaming of a debt-free Christmas
Just like the ones from years ago
Where the gifts are friendship
And folks celebrate kinship,
And we feel good within our souls…
Everybody knows that savings and stocked pantry goods
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with expections set low
Will find that that joy has come tonight
They know their parents pay the bills
They eschew expensive toys and silly frills
That break the neaighbors back’s, and cause them ills,
But inside this house, we enjoy our solvent thrills
And so I’m offering this simple prayer
To incomes from 1k to 92,
All though it’s not said often enough today
Debt-free Christmas to you.
Happy and peaceful holidays to all on ZH, and heartfelt thanks to Tyler for staying ever-vigilant and helping us see the truth. -Roscoe
Good job. Parody is a cool medium to work in, like limericks. Great way to keep the verbal skills sharp. I did a lot of these a few years back before switching over to songwriting with original melodies.
On the first day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
One global RECESSION!!!!!!.
On the second day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
Two ousted euro-crats,
And one global RECESSION.
On the third day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
Three French A’s (oops I mean AA+, or A falalalala),
Two ousted euro-crats,
And one global RECESSION.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
Four years of Obama,
Three French A’s,
Two ousted euro-crats,
And one global RECESSION.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
Five golden ounces, BITCHEZ
Four years of Obama,
Three French A’s,
Two ousted euro-crats,
And one global RECESSION.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
Six bernak-a-bucks,
Five golden ounces,
Four years of Obama,
Three French A’s,
Two ousted euro-crats,
And one global RECESSION.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
Seven-hundred $T in derivatives,
Six bernak-a-bucks,
Five golden ounces,
Four years of Obama,
Three French A’s,
Two ousted euro-crats,
And one global RECESSION.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
Eight Reuters Rumors,
Seven-hundred $T in derivatives,
Six bernak-a-bucks,
Five golden ounces,
Four years of Obama,
Three French A’s,
Two ousted euro-crats,
And one global RECESSION.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
Nine bankrupt sovereigns,
Eight Reuters Rumors,
Seven-hundred $T in derivatives,
Six bernak-a-bucks,
Five golden ounces,
Four years of Obama,
Three French A’s,
Two ousted euro-crats,
And one global RECESSION.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
Ten years of no returns,
Nine bankrupt sovereigns,
Eight Reuters Rumors,
Seven-hundred $T in derivatives,
Six bernak-a-bucks
Five golden ounces,
Four years of Obama,
Three French A’s,
Two ousted euro-crats,
And one global RECESSION.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten years of no returns,
Nine bankrupt sovereigns,
Eight Reuters Rumors,
Seven-hundred $T in derivatives
Six bernak-a-bucks,
Five golden ounces,
Four years of Obama,
Three French A’s,
Two ousted euro-crats,
And one global RECESSSION
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my global bankers gave to me
Twelve Euro Summits,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten years of no returns,
Nine bankrupt sovereigns,
Eight Reuters Rumors,
Seven-hundred $T in derivatives
Six bernak-a-bucks,
Five golden ounces,
Four years of Obama,
Three French A’s,
Two ousted euro-crats,
And one global RECESSSION
Only four years of Owebama? Sweet Christmas indeed. Very well done MC.
Happy holidays to all. And may we all eat squid soup next year for Christmas!!!