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What Americans Actually Do All Day Long - In Three Charts

Tyler Durden's picture


The average American spends 9 hours, 12 minutes, and 36 seconds 'Working & Commuting' on an average workday. Wonder what they do with the rest of their precious 'unproductive and non-tax-providing' day?

Here's how the average American with a full-time job spends a typical workday...


... and here's how those hours of Leisure and Cooking-and-Cleaning breakdown...


and for those over 55 years old, things are a little more sleep and play...


Source: NPR


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Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:42 | 2750890 death_to_fed_tyranny
death_to_fed_tyranny's picture

All I see is a majority are muppet-sheeple!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:57 | 2750922 Tippoo Sultan
Tippoo Sultan's picture

"Education"..."6 Minutes"

Presented without any additional -- or required -- comment.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:06 | 2750956 janchup
janchup's picture

I would have thought about 6 seconds.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:30 | 2751021 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

That would be the masturbatory time of the average Joe.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:08 | 2751106 Precious
Precious's picture

Something is wrong here.  Most Americans get caught up on their sleep while at work and definitely 50% of them may as well be asleep during their commute.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 23:06 | 2751427 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

I'd love to see the Chinese version of this chart.  or the Somalian.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 00:37 | 2751545 Rubbish
Rubbish's picture

Is Tyler still dating that obese chick?

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:20 | 2751582 Slack Jack
Slack Jack's picture



China and Germany will no longer do business in USD, Euros and Yuan preferred;

So,... How come Tyler hasn't picked up on this?

Is he out with the (above mentioned) obese chick?

This must be bullish for the Yuan,... right.

Should I go out and buy a heap,...?????????

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:23 | 2751594 Slack Jack
Slack Jack's picture

This must be bullish for the EUR/USD,... right.

Should I go out and buy a heap,...???????????

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:41 | 2751608 Michael
Michael's picture

All I got to say is;

Who wrights this RNC shit, Except for that Clint Eastwood stuff, he was great as usual.

I mean really?

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:51 | 2751626 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

Hot crap! I can't wait 'till I get old!

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:58 | 2751637 Michael
Michael's picture

Why were there so many empty seats up there at the upper right of the stage? Is it because they couldn't sell out the event?
Are they that bad that they couldn't even sell out the event and fill up all of the seats?
Even Madonna could sell out all of the seats.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 02:22 | 2751654 Michael
Michael's picture

I'm sorry, I just had too;

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 02:48 | 2751668 Michael
Michael's picture

The Dead Stream Media will no longer Prescribe their Version of Reality on the Sheeple Anymore!

Got That?

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 03:00 | 2751677 Michael
Michael's picture

Actors and actresses have a lot of time on their hands to research the same things we do.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 03:08 | 2751682 Michael
Michael's picture

If any of you fucks post a comment, "I'm talking to myself again",  Go fuck yourself.

These are talking points memos for media, and their free.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 03:59 | 2751715 Michael
Michael's picture

Reads on this thread so far over 14k. Pretty good.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 07:51 | 2751922 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

Me 2.  I could sure use a nap.  Working in a Frankfurt bank takes a toll. 

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 03:17 | 2751690 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

BKbroiler said:

I'd love to see the Chinese version of this chart.

Chinese citizenism version:

Blobbing up into Tibet: 2 hours
Anti-American ranting: 3 hours
Peoples Liberation Opium Parlour: 4 hours
Roadside crapping: 7 hours

or the Somalian.

Choir practice: 2 hours


Thu, 08/30/2012 - 23:41 | 2751481 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

That would be the masturbatory time of the average Joe.

No way!! I can last at leas.. oops.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 02:38 | 2751664 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

You thought this time was different he...


Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:31 | 2751022 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

It's my dick and my soap and I can wash it as fast as I want.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 23:07 | 2751428 Ima anal sphincter
Ima anal sphincter's picture

Chuckle for the day. +1

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 00:09 | 2751522 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

So we can file Master Debater under education, right?

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 02:17 | 2751651 trembo slice
trembo slice's picture

signed in just to upvote ya... haha.  reminds me of that scene in American Beauty.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:28 | 2751013 PSEUDOLOGOI

Don't worry, there won't be an exam on this later.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:24 | 2751146 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

We wouldn't have the faculties to understand any additional comment anyway.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 22:07 | 2751332 Surrealist
Surrealist's picture

"Education"..."6 Minutes" aka 6 Minutes on Zerohedge!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 23:22 | 2751453 Tommy Gunner
Tommy Gunner's picture

Where's the chart for time spent stuffing their fat fucking faces and watching Dancing with Stars?

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:28 | 2751597 THECOMINGDEPRESSION

texting and facebook 99% of the time

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 09:04 | 2752127 midtowng
midtowng's picture

that's the one that jumped out at me too.

Over an hour a day watching TV. 6 minutes educating ourselves.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:58 | 2750928 SheepleLOVEched...
SheepleLOVEcheddarbaybiscuits's picture

where is the stressing out about how I'm going to make ends meet category?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:49 | 2751069 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Does grooming include animals?

Where's the drinking part?

The banging head against doorframe part?

People actually sleep for 7.5 hours?  How?

Where's the "fighting with Windows 7" part?

Nobody fucks anymore?  Or is that leisure....

This is a nightmare (if you can sleep...)

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 03:25 | 2751695 JohnG
JohnG's picture



Thank you, and yes people still fuck.  I can attest to that.  She snores, and so does she.  See you at Jhole.

Yes that was a funny!



(back to bed now, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 22:12 | 2751338 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

Surprised porn didn't make the list. Oh wait this is the average american not the average SEC worker.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 08:44 | 2752043 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Everyone knows the Internet is for porn - even muppets!

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:38 | 2751599 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Watching TV.

Nice. Supporting The Matrix, Hollywood and Baby Allah by being brainwashed by TV and Hollywood.  Stupid serfs.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:42 | 2750891 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Facebook-Company created by douchbag for douchebags to practice douchebaggery.


Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:46 | 2750892 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Sleeping is overrated.

And you know damn well that in real life most of those circles overlap quite a bit like a a giant Venn diagram.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:47 | 2750902 brewing
brewing's picture

socializing and talking are overrated...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:59 | 2750932 saturn
saturn's picture

Where is 14 hours of watching markets?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:26 | 2751151 Meesohaawnee
Meesohaawnee's picture

"markets" whats that?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:06 | 2751224 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

The average investor now spends 23,400,000 milliseconds per day watching markets.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 00:12 | 2751525 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Does programming HFT algos count?

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 02:22 | 2751655 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

No time to think about liberty or the insanity of modern life?

Wait...need to change the channel...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:45 | 2750894 TheCanadianAustrian
TheCanadianAustrian's picture

I can't wait to get home and do "Other". I'm usually done in about 9 minutes.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:02 | 2751100 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Some laxatives should greatly decrease your "other" time.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:11 | 2751116 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

And then there's "etc" for all other places and times...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:44 | 2750896 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Them 55+ are some lazy worthless comes the death panels.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:59 | 2750936 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Some truth to that. Boomers ruined our country and economy. Gen Xers didn't realize that but the younger ones do.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:08 | 2750958 bigkahuna
bigkahuna's picture

Next they'll be blaming gen x, then gen y, then the echo boomers, then the teenagers, then the grade schoolers and babys. This is all our faults as adults for putting up with the bs, even though it started before us--it is certainly not ending with us----well not yet anyway.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:45 | 2750897 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Lets see what the top .01% who have all the money do all day!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:07 | 2750957 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Fuck over the other 99.99%

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:22 | 2750994 poor fella
poor fella's picture

Trying to convince us - "Romney are people my friend!!"


Sat, 09/01/2012 - 15:34 | 2755300 blindman
blindman's picture
At home with the King and Queen of Versailles: America's biggest (and gaudiest) family home which still costs $65million even though it isn't finished

Owners David Siegel, 77, and his former beauty queen wife Jackie, 46, are the subjects of new documentary film Queen Of Versailles
Movie was to chronicle the building of the largest family home in the U.S.
It instead showed how the economic downturn forced them to stop building their dream home, a Las Vegas-style version of French palace Versailles
By Graham Smith
UPDATED:12:46 EST, 17 July 2012
David and Jackie Siegel: Meet the King and Queen of Versailles
They lived the American dream and started to build their own palace. Then came the credit crunch...
here the answer to the question but i can't even read it. let me know if there is anything in there that makes
one bit of sense. ( besides she is hot ).

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:45 | 2750899 Christoph830
Christoph830's picture

I call bullshit on this chart. 8 mins, 24 sec on the internet? Bitchhhh pleaaase

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:54 | 2750915 drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

"9 hours, 12 minutes, and 36 seconds 'Working & Commuting''


they fail to mention that 6 hours out of the 9 hours, 12 minutes, and 36 seconds is spent online doing mock fantasy drafts, reading TMZ/gawker, and "liking" stuff on facebook.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:01 | 2750943 Midas
Midas's picture

Uhh, you are, uhh,  not going to mention ZeroHedge in there?!?   I don't want to admit to anything, but there is some Venn like overlap for me with ZeroHedge and one of the large circles...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:55 | 2751082 nasa
nasa's picture

if that compnay is hiring, please pm the details.   These days I'm doing my usual work plus the work of two former co-workers who were laid off.   It's the new norm of the New World Order.      

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:21 | 2751141 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Yep, just get a job in sales somewhere.  Yesterday, my GM issued a challenge for our store to do X amount of sales and every employee in the store would get a cash giftcard for a decent amount of money so I got busy knowing I could hit that number if I pushed a little.  I hit that goal and had everything billed out by this morning.  The GM was not too happy that I did it all by myself.  He stated to me privately that "Now everyone else gets to benefit from your efforts.".  Yeah, well this is 2012 Amerika so what else is new? 

I read Zerohedge and other market sites most of the day today and got paid base salary.:-) 

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:25 | 2751147 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

you sir; are a slave...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:26 | 2751267 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Slave?  Yep.  So are you.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 00:55 | 2751566 Adahy
Adahy's picture

I feel your pain.  I'm up to doing four peoples' jobs now; and with less "benefits" to boot (shortened vacation time, down to three days a year now).
Here's to hoping my organic carden business takes off this year; if I can get through all the governmental roadblocks that is...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:28 | 2751016 Chump
Chump's picture

And 'jerking off' is nowhere to be found.  I call bullshit as well.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:53 | 2750905 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

My schedule :

Read ZH : 12 hours a day

Sleep : 10 hours a day

Pooping : 2 hours a day

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:59 | 2750933 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You must be pretty loose to get all your pooping done in two hours.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:59 | 2750935 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Appears to be a well balanced lifestyle...may I suggest Metamucil ?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:34 | 2751034 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I would suggest he stop playing solitaire or angry birds on his phone.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:36 | 2751038 IrritableBowels
IrritableBowels's picture

Nice schedule.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 00:30 | 2751542 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

I want to live with you! Please adopt me!!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:58 | 2750927 economicfreefall
economicfreefall's picture

I thought watching TV would make up a lot more of the time!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:01 | 2750941 CH1
CH1's picture

I thought watching TV would make up a lot more of the time!

It does... as I undertsand it from a direct study, the average American watches 154 hours per month.


Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:18 | 2750983 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

I watch no TV whatsoever anymore ...the only thing i miss the TV is ....umm.... let me get back to you on that one

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:42 | 2751054 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

The thing is Freddy drops the TV percentage immensly.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:11 | 2751239 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

The last show I watched before I went TV-free was The Hill Street Blues.

I do wonder sometimes if that Lieutenant ever got together with that doctor woman...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 23:55 | 2751502 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

I do wonder sometimes if that Lieutenant ever got together with that doctor woman...

It was the captain and the lawyer lady and it was all going fine until.. oops.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:07 | 2751227 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Guess I ain't average: I got no television.  ;-)

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:56 | 2751633 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture



Me = TV never.

Never, ever watch that garbage. I have tried but just can't do it. Amazing how many here at ZH say the same thing .......

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 03:16 | 2751689 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture

yeh... many zhers dont watch TV anymore.....


and this is fantastic.... that means some people are getting out of the system.


spread the word, TURN OFF THE TV

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:43 | 2751611 Freddie
Freddie's picture

The Matrix only needs 10 minutes to brainwash the sheep.  The white hut non-muslim muslim good - whitey bad.  

Stupid TV watching serfs.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 18:58 | 2750931 AurorusBorealus
AurorusBorealus's picture

1 hour and 34 minutes watching TV, 33 minutes shopping, and 34 minutes for child-care.   Now I know why "it takes a village."  The whole culture is starting to make sense now.  Looks like your gonna need more money for "after school" programs.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:03 | 2750946 Midas
Midas's picture

It makes sense if you consider someone else is raising your kids at their minimum wage daycare job.  GDP to the moon!

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 06:40 | 2751847 dolly madison
dolly madison's picture

Yeah, I noticed that child-care number too.  Crazy, crazy world we are living in.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:02 | 2750944 I_Rowboat
I_Rowboat's picture

I make it a point to set aside some time every day for sneering derision.  Yep, it's what keeps me young.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:13 | 2751243 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Oh, yeah.  Brilliant!  Derision is stupid, and anybody who uses it is a jerk!

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:34 | 2751601 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Both of you, Brilliant!!! :-)

I think some ZHers lost their sense of humore today.

Too funny!


Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:04 | 2750949 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Relaxing and thinking 10 minutes? Most Americans don't spend that amount of time thinking in a week. They let everybody else think for them.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:36 | 2751041 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

They meant 'masturbating', just a nicer way of saying it.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 03:20 | 2751692 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture



not "They let everybody else think for them"


FIX: "They let the MSM think for them"




Regards Arphy

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:05 | 2750951 FoxMulder
FoxMulder's picture

Banging -2 minutes per day

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:37 | 2751045 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Negative two minutes? You are like a super hero.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:29 | 2751156 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

must not enjoy it much either

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 23:58 | 2751505 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

Negative two minutes? You are like a super hero.

Nope, it means he's finished before his wife even knows he start.. oops.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 00:43 | 2751554 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Good one! This one made me laugh!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:08 | 2750960 catch edge ghost
catch edge ghost's picture

He not busy being born is busy dying. - master Bob

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 04:35 | 2751740 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"When you stop growing, you start rotting."

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:13 | 2750968 max2205
max2205's picture

For those in the SEC/ Govt jobs include 7.5 hours watching Porn

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:23 | 2750984 EscapingProgress
EscapingProgress's picture

And the remainder of their day is spent downloading porn, compiling it on discs, placing the discs neatly into assorted boxes, and stacking the boxes in an organized fashion around their office.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:15 | 2751247 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Unzip disks.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:15 | 2750972 mattdubz86
mattdubz86's picture

What else are we suppose to do when were strapped at our desks working, while on the other side of the world, the Europeans take 2 hour siestas in the middle of the day, lets see a graph of Europes daily acitivities .

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:14 | 2750973 reader2010
reader2010's picture

amused to death.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:15 | 2750974 tmosley
tmosley's picture

People still watch TV?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:25 | 2750998 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

i know, it's so old hat, like still rolling your own filo pastry!

still some people like their data in slo-mo, tedious crap masquerading as 'entertainment', the news in propaganda format and being patronised

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 00:02 | 2751511 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

it's so old hat, like still rolling your own filo pastry!

Hey, I never heard it called that! That's pret.. oops.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:04 | 2751572 Adahy
Adahy's picture

Craving tyropitas now.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:17 | 2750978 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

This study snap shot is two years old. How did the figures tie into BLS U6 reporting?


Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:21 | 2750989 Dead Canary
Dead Canary's picture

Does my time reading ZH, TFMR etc... count as education. Cuz I do a lot of it.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:22 | 2750995 lewy14
lewy14's picture

You know things are slow when ZH runs a story like this...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:24 | 2751002 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

I spend 25 hr/day reading made up statistics.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:30 | 2751023 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

you're not a Steve Liesman groupie are you?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:10 | 2751113 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

Thank God for multitasking!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:26 | 2751008 blindman
blindman's picture

what about yachting?
Romney party yacht 'Cracker Bay' flies Cayman Islands flag in Tampa
kenyans don't yacht?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:33 | 2751028 GCT
GCT's picture

There is a presidential yacht blindman.  Of course we pay for it.

Sat, 09/01/2012 - 15:21 | 2751047 blindman
blindman's picture

i suspected as much. good to know the
bills and taxes are being payed ! hey, have
you noticed how hilarious the world of political
rhetoric has become?
that was a rhetorical
question, device. please do not feel compelled
to respond if it is not essential.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:30 | 2751024 ZakuKommander
ZakuKommander's picture

Utter BS.  No mention of porn.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:33 | 2751030 blindman
blindman's picture

time is/was/has been a funny thing.
did you ever think about that?
what u-is time? and can it be spent?
there ya go ......

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:41 | 2751051 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

sex: 30 seconds.

Porn: 7.5 hours (as per above commenter)

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:43 | 2751052 Jason T
Jason T's picture

I thought Americans watched like 5 hours of TV a day?

Nielsen's 'Three Screen Report' for the fourth quarter says the average American now watches more than 151 hours of TV a month.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:53 | 2751628 Renewable Life
Renewable Life's picture

I think this is just Monday-Friday, motherfuckers have their TVs on 20 hours per weekend, especially during football season!! That's 80 more hours a month, then this breakdown includes!!

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 03:26 | 2751697 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture

they have to do something while eating crap food no?



Fri, 08/31/2012 - 04:38 | 2751741 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

My wife watches a lot of TV (correction:  sleeps while the TV is on)...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:45 | 2751061 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Curious ... it would be interesting to see "Working and Commuting" broken out into further detail.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 19:47 | 2751064 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture


Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:00 | 2751097 lolmaster
lolmaster's picture

I didn't see porn on the list. Clear fail

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:01 | 2751099 barroter
barroter's picture

What? Only 9 hours and 20 minutes working? Crack that whip and get their ass back into the acid mines for another shift!!!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:08 | 2751109 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

Obviously the SEC was not included in the survey.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:15 | 2751126 pamriallc
pamriallc's picture

I would like to see the real breakdown for a workday in China. Not made up or as a joke but a real study. I would bet sleep averages 6 hours and work averages 14 hours including transportation.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:19 | 2751135 Dapper Dan
Dapper Dan's picture

I average 2.5 hours, per day, reading articles and studying the comments on ZeroHedge, and on a long enough time line I will understand what the fuck Slewie the pi-rat is talking about!


If you are dependent on people who do not know you, who control the value of your necessities, you are not free, and you are not safe!



There is nothing more absurd, to give an example that is only apparently trivial, than the millions who wish to live in luxury and idleness and yet be slender, good looking and tan!

Wendell Berry,

The art of the commonplace


Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:30 | 2751158 centerline
centerline's picture

glad to see i am not the only one who doesnt get the pi-rat posts.  but there is also a good chance i am an idiot.  lol.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 00:14 | 2751527 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

Reading Slewie's posts is like eating ice cream really fast. Gives a good headache for a short time but we can't stop, and we always want more.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 23:59 | 2751507 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture



"and on a long enough time line I will understand what the fuck Slewie the pi-rat is talking about! "

Not bloody likely!

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:27 | 2751152 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

8 minutes and 24 seconds on the internet?


I think FB's stock price has slightly more than 8.24 priced into it.   

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:44 | 2751596 intric8
intric8's picture

I think internet and porn browsing time are deeply buried somewhere in the "work and commute" time, especially for those in govt work

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:31 | 2751598 intric8
intric8's picture


Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:36 | 2751165 FerretBrain
FerretBrain's picture

They forgot to include the amount of online porn by the SEC...that alone will at least triple the online/computer time.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:49 | 2751187 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

I would love to see the charts for unemployed and underemployed people... probably a lot more sex and violence.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:04 | 2751222 Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

"probably a lot more sex and violence"

leisure category

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 01:51 | 2751625 Freddie
Freddie's picture

....probably a lot more sex and violence.

The unemployed and underemployed probably combine the two.

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:51 | 2751193 SwingForce
SwingForce's picture

BULLSHIT!   To group WORK and COMMUTE in 1 category?

And the only talk on the phone or play computer games for a combined 11 mins total?

BLS is very misguided, and so are zerohedge commentors for engaging in a discussion of such bullshit information. Maybe this was a test to see who falls for BLS garbage- not me or Tyler or Biderman. Reset.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 03:29 | 2751702 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture

did you even read what zhers said about this article?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:56 | 2751206 Tombstone
Tombstone's picture

Does this schedule apply to us poor bums on Obamafare?  I mean we don't have to work or drive unless we are going to collect on some freebee. 

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 20:59 | 2751213 uncle_vito
uncle_vito's picture

I was just laid off from my job.  Since I am an old fart, I decided to just spend the rest of my days, trading the market and reading ZH.  That takes from when I wake to after lunch.  Then I go exercise and then test out my booze.  After I pass out, I awake and have dinner then try to watch the garbage they have on TV.  I finally give up and go to bed, dreaming about making a killing the next day in the stock market.  Life is grand, right???

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:44 | 2751296 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Exactly right Uncle Z, except, as an over 65er, I start the booze sooner.

As a half-assed trader, I figure the time on ZH gets split between working, leisure, education, games, being on computer, socializing, and relaxing and thinking, so it's all good.

Between BLS and NPR, these charts look like they were outsourced to Vietnam and somebody just decided to screw with the data, which had to be a bunch of lying-ass, made up and fudged seasonally adjusted garbage to start with. Eight fucking minutes on the internet? Right... Fuck, NOBODY spends 8 minutes on the internet, it takes that long for windows to boot up, and another 8 to shut down.


Thu, 08/30/2012 - 23:55 | 2751503 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

Ooooh... you best toss that computer in the trash. 8 minutes?? JHC, even Bill G doesn't take that long to take a shit.

On another note, your computer is choked with start up / shut down garbage. Too much to explain and this isn't a tech forum. But I do know what is wrong with your unit.

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 00:03 | 2751513 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

What does a problem with his unit have to do with his computer?

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 00:44 | 2751555 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

Fuck... I knew I would get busted for using the word "unit" as it does not pertain to the "unit" in question. I think...?

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 04:41 | 2751744 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Linux solves a passle of PC problems...

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:03 | 2751219 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Where's the column for reading ZH all day? Seems like that's about all I get done. :-)

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 21:13 | 2751242 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

hmmm ... is it really feasible for average American to be relaxing and thinking at the same time?

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