What Should Jon Corzine's Hedge Fund Be Named?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Since over the past five years hedge funds are better known for coming up with ingenious names, than for actually outperforming the market (recall that "the aggregate hedge fund index is now significantly underperforming the S&P 500 (from both the top in 2007 and the lows in 2009"), we hereby wish to do the Honorable Jon Corzine a favor, and save him the money he would otherwise spend on an expensive naming consultant, by offering up the creative services of our audience in conjuring the name for his future hedge fund. So dear ZH readers, take it away, although keep in mind Long-Term Capital Vaporization LP appears to already have been taken by a patent troll (soon to be likely sued by YHOO).

0
Your rating: None
 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:58 | 2709956 fuu
fuu's picture

DIAF

Doing It Again Fuckers

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 09:59 | 2710005 Concentrated po...
Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.'s picture

Prostitutes Purse, LP

or

Gimme your money you fucking widow, LP

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:02 | 2710037 Concentrated po...
Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.'s picture

Dishonorable Discharge of NY Graft, LP

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:03 | 2710055 dough eating squid
dough eating squid's picture

Coarse Swine LP

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:07 | 2710072 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

(MSF) Mupet sucker fund

Sign up today and get a 40% return by months end. We'll even throw in a spiderman towel absolutly FREE!

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:13 | 2710158 saturn
saturn's picture

BGGR

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:15 | 2710174 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Deposits Only Capital Managment

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:18 | 2710196 El Viejo
El Viejo's picture

"Money Mine"  What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:19 | 2710216 Crisismode
Crisismode's picture

V.A.N.I.S.H.

 

Virtual

Anonymous

Naked-Shorting

Is

So

Hot

 

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:25 | 2710262 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Vapoorized!

Aand....it's gone!

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:30 | 2710308 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

The Nothing.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:32 | 2710330 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The there is so many posts that I doubt this one will get noticed so I'm not even going to try fund.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:33 | 2710336 redpill
redpill's picture

C.O.R.Z.I.N.E. Asset Management

 

Complete

Orifice

Raping of

Zealous

Investors

Never

Ends

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:39 | 2710359 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Perpetual Presidential Immunity Fund LLC...

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:40 | 2710396 bania
bania's picture

Fahrenheit 451 Capital

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:48 | 2710457 BigJim
BigJim's picture

AYMABTU

All Your Muppets Are Belong To Us

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:00 | 2710537 forexskin
forexskin's picture

Black Knight Massacre Fund

BKMF

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:06 | 2710557 Aziz
Aziz's picture

Bath Salts LLP

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:21 | 2710634 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Motherfucking Peregrine Global!

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:36 | 2710723 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

POOF

Only POOF, nothing else. All it signifies is that your money is gone. Doesn't stand for anything.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:00 | 2710841 WorkingClassHero
WorkingClassHero's picture

Paying Out Non-Zero Interset, So Come All Muppets 

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:38 | 2710978 greenEagles
greenEagles's picture

Rehypo-Distressed Segregated Master Fund LP

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 18:06 | 2712384 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

How about:

Maelstrom Capitol;

Abyssal Investments;

Black Hole Equity;

Three-Card-Monty Inc.

Quicksand Partners;

Vapor Assets;

Sinkhole Group;

Hotel California Investors;

Muppet Management Co.; or

P.T. Barnum and Associates?

This is fun!

 

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 18:15 | 2712433 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Shame On Me Investments (as in "fuck me once shame on you, fuck me twice shame on me")

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 19:46 | 2712662 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

BOHICA

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 21:24 | 2712908 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I'd just fucking call it 'Robot Trader' or 'Million Dollar Bonus'...

But that's just me...

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 22:11 | 2713019 FMR Bankster
FMR Bankster's picture

Gone in 60 seconds LP

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 23:54 | 2713218 A L I E N
A L I E N's picture

Rehypothecation Total Return Fund

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 00:17 | 2713241 Michael
Michael's picture

I'm voting for evil vs a cunt hair's less evil, I'm voting for Obama.

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 00:43 | 2713256 Michael
Michael's picture

Time is almost up. Complete and total worldwide economic collapse is on our door step.

The only thing we're doing right now is playing the political game. If you don't play you can't win, and the only way you can win is by changing the rules, which is what I am doing. Think Kobayashi Maru.

We're just paving a new path to possibly fix our country.

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 01:29 | 2713313 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Why not just call it MF Global again?  The muppets love repetition and things they recognize.

 

MFG - Muppet Fleecing Grinder

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 01:41 | 2713318 Michael
Michael's picture

OK, just fucking around with you.

I'm taking a 3 week vacation so you'll not hear my antagonistic mind for a while.

You'll have to think for yourselves.

See you in about three weeks, and that was just a psy-op test to see if your were paying attention.

You were.

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 01:45 | 2713320 fourchan
fourchan's picture

the

new

normal

fund

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 05:29 | 2713482 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

 

 

The end of the freakin road.

 

Welcome to Corzine's Island.

 

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 18:22 | 2712456 Strider52
Strider52's picture

ROFL @ Quicksand Partners.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 20:35 | 2712799 malikai
malikai's picture

Slain Capital.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 23:23 | 2713167 Surly Bear
Surly Bear's picture

me? call it The Fed.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 20:58 | 2712855 URZIZMINE
URZIZMINE's picture

Ticker FNK

(F)uct

(N)ot

(K)issed

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 21:08 | 2712870 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

Or:

 

 

Phlim-Phlam

Our

Nitwit

Zilch

Investors

So

Come

Here

Everyone--

Muppets

Everywhere!

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 22:13 | 2713027 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture

 

Too easy:

 

The Caveat Emptor Fund

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 00:20 | 2713248 Michael
Michael's picture

I'm voting for evil vs a cunt hair's less evil, I'm voting for Obama.

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:51 | 2710797 Chrome Child
Chrome Child's picture

EL OH EL

 

+10

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 13:46 | 2711230 Vaiman
Vaiman's picture

BOFJ.A

Bend Over For Jon.  Again

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 16:56 | 2712188 misterb4096
misterb4096's picture

Okay so I have to ask (been reading for a year or so, first comment), where/how did the "Are belong to" verbiage come to be? First few times I saw it I thought we had an ESOL reader making a simple grammatical error, but I'm starting to feel that I'm missing something here...

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 17:58 | 2712391 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

It came from a video game. According to Wikipedia "The text comes from the opening cutscene of the 1991 European Sega Mega Drive version of the video game Zero Wing[1] by Toaplan, which was poorly translated from Japanese."

The full text is "All your base are belong to us". You can search on that phrase in your browser for a more complete explanation. 

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 03:16 | 2713393 AustriAnnie
AustriAnnie's picture

+1

Not a day goes by when I don't learn something from ZH.

I thought "all your ____ are belong to us" was just something stupid AnAnonymous said in one of his tirades against American citizenism.

 

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 05:31 | 2713484 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

 

Oh no.......it's totally real actually.

 

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 16:56 | 2712189 misterb4096
misterb4096's picture

Okay so I have to ask (been reading for a year or so, first comment), where/how did the "Are belong to" verbiage come to be? First few times I saw it I thought we had an ESOL reader making a simple grammatical error, but I'm starting to feel that I'm missing something here...

Thu, 08/16/2012 - 18:00 | 2712396 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

There was an "Aliens Attack" type computer game (was it on the TRS-80?) in the old days that had the line:  "All your base are belong to us."

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!