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What Should Jon Corzine's Hedge Fund Be Named?
Since over the past five years hedge funds are better known for coming up with ingenious names, than for actually outperforming the market (recall that "the aggregate hedge fund index is now significantly underperforming the S&P 500 (from both the top in 2007 and the lows in 2009"), we hereby wish to do the Honorable Jon Corzine a favor, and save him the money he would otherwise spend on an expensive naming consultant, by offering up the creative services of our audience in conjuring the name for his future hedge fund. So dear ZH readers, take it away, although keep in mind Long-Term Capital Vaporization LP appears to already have been taken by a patent troll (soon to be likely sued by YHOO).
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Master of the Fuckin' Customer's Universe, LLC
FUCK YOU, LP
Trust Me Your Money Is Safe This Time Fund, LP
Reducto Capital Management, LLC
All-Your-Eggs-in-One-Basket Discovery Failure Fund, LP
Winning, Inc.
Securties and Exchange Commission Commingling Trust, Ltd.
Now You See It
Bendover 2X Fund
Ponzine Divestments, Intl.
Possible tickers: PNZ4U PZRUS
But what about Corzine VapourCrony Capital?
Here Today, Corzine Tomorrow, Inc.
BTFD
or
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for your money is zero.
Surprised no one is using BTFD as a ticker symbol yet. I would have thought one of those clever ETFags would have taken it.
ATL Fund (Above the Law)
or
OPM Fund (Other People's Money)
Fund Under Corzine's Ken Equity Dealers, LP mostly for the acronymn it would spawn.
BOHICA Fund
Sucker Fund
Bet it all on Red Including the Segregated Accounts, LLC
Pissonu Little Guys, LLP
Robber Barons Vaporisation Fund.
After all that, and he is back in business?
This Time is Different, LP
Harbinger Capitalzzz
Lulz LLC
Wail of the Banshee
All Your Capital Are Belong To Us LLc
KKK
Asinine Corzine Management
Shame on Me Fund....seeing as he already fooled us once....
Bubble Booster Fund
account vacuum cleaning service
Oceania Ministry of Truth Premium Trading Partner
MF Global II. Why not? It has name recognition which might be all it takes to snag those muppets who slipped through the cracks unscathed the first time.
Vaporized.com.org.gov
Tyler, I think you've already named it - the "Take It Away Fund"
S.E.A.T.B.E.L.T.S.
Ha! Nice 2007 call back! The world would have been a better place had that fucker died in the crash.
The "I Will Fuck You Over" Fund
Comingled Synergistics, LLC
The Corzine Vacation Fund
Unarrested Capital
BSPMI - Black Swan Perception Mgt Inc.
Unsegregated Capital LP...
Uncapital Punishment LP...
Segregated from the Law LP...
Margin Call Capital (Mis-)Management, LLC
PaybackTimeIsAComin thats the name of MY hedge fund.
Ebola Group Resources
The Real Zero Hegde Fund LP:
On a "short enough timeline the return of everyone's capital drops to zero".
<---Corzine is clueless how this looks
<---Corzine is a stone cold sociopath who acts with impunity
Or if government funds it, he can call it "Southern Seas Hedge fund".
Hookem, Fleecem and Flee
JP Morgan Feeder Fund
Day 4, sitting at the sell side... Jon? are these phucking phones plugged in?
Yes, I just called for security again from line 1.
ASSHOLE WITH A LICENCE TO STEAL LLC.
Satan's Retarded Partners, LLC
The Vanilla Iceberg Can't Touch Me Sukka Fraud of Funds
The "I Take, You Give" Fund
Very-Long-Term Capital Management
Corzine Seggregated Fund
Ernie and Burt Enhanced Value fund
FCS Capital Partners
WTF...THIS LIQUID FART-FUCK SHOULD BE IN JAIL, doing the Butt-Boogie with Holder and all the other criminals in the OBAMA EMPIRE.
Black Hole Fund
The "Take It Up The Ass" Fund
aka, Sodomy, LLP
The "WTF!!! You're Stupid" Fund
"Billy" Shears IUD
Gonzo, Kermit, and Piggy Trusted Investments
Corzine kind of looks like Frank Oz.....
Commingling Capital Specialists " CCS "
The "How Fuckin' Dumb Are You" Fund
Damn, it feels good to be a banksta LLC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rL9ihXiFAko
CRAP Inc.
Corzine Rape and Pillage. Inc.
Veni Vidi Corripui LLP (I came, I saw, I took.)
"The Honorable Jon Corzine Hedge Trust Fund"
Corn-Hole Partners (CHP)
Scumbag, Inc. LLC
Barely Legal II
Come In Said The Spider To The Fly Fund.
Die Walküre
Hyper Rehypothecators R Us.
"All your basis are belong to us" Fund
The "Cockzine Is God" Fund
BDRC: Ben Dover, Rehypothecated & Corzined
Me & Milken, LP
The "You're A Dumb Motherfucker" Fund
Dewey, Cheatem & Howe LLP
Jon Corzine’s—truth in advertising—hedge fund name:
“Istealalot”
C.U.N.T.
"Corzine Underperforming No-return Trading inc."
* Caput Capitol LLP
* Haircut Capitol LLC
* Losses Can be Written Off LLP
The Muppet Mugger Fund
And.... It's Gone! Fund
Banana Republic Asset Tracking (BRAT)
Really Awesome Potential Earnings (RAPE)
PRoprietary Investors Specialty Ownership Network (PRISON)
Funky Komadina on your Capital, LP
Ten Cents on the Dollar LLP
Guaranteed 10% return (of capital).
10% is optimistic!
Fuckyoushima Capital
The "Corzine Capital Misappropriation Fund"
Corozine has no shame and a massive ego to to even attempt this garbage.
Tongue-in-check: and why not?
As long as a complicit criminal judicial system let's him loose...
The "You Didn't Earn That Money On Your Own, Anyway" Fund (TYDETMOYO.AW)
Bermuda Triangle Capital
Perfect. Headquartered in Bermuda, of course.
since Meyer Blinder is dead and his firm (Blinder & Robinson, - Denver circa 1960's) - the name is available
how about - Blind Em and Rob Em?
New Teflon Don Fund
Sorry Jon Gotti. Sicilian gangsters go to jail, Jewish gangsters just keep on stealing.
CON Fund = Corzine Opaque Nest Fund
Slogan: Thank you for your generous donation!
Advanced Libor Liquidity Mutual Investment Nationwide Entity.
alternatively: WFU Capital
Roach Motel Investments, LLP
Fiat Fairy Fund
Re Re Rehypothecation LLP.
Where's my consultancy fee or did that disappear too?
Gonzo Capital Management
Gonzo is available as a spokesmuppet if needed
Rehypothecation Services SA
Takeiten asset management
FYFM The Fuck You Fucking Muppets fund LP.
The Magic Man Fund; "now you see your money... now you don't, almost like it vaporizes into thin air"
The Magic Scam Man
SKY HIGH ASSETS LP
(FIAT CURRENCY ONLY)
INSURED BY THE FDIC
MF LOCAL.
The Federal Reserve
I don't know what he will come up with - but had I been an investor and lost everything -- It Would Be DEAD MEN WALKING!
Beuna Suerte Capital
(perhaps spelled wrong, not good at spanish)
Buenas Suerte -- "Good Luck" in Spanish
:) That's hilarious! Thanks!
Corzines Holden OBamas Sach
JPM Supplementary Retirement Fund
Scams R Us
Corzine's Unsegregated Nil TransferableS (once i get my hands on it)
Anyone who gives that dickhead any money to invest belongs in the above acronym prefixed by STUPID.
First National Fisting
The Global Muppet Fucker Fund
SSFTNTWTMW Capital
She's So Fine There's No Telling Where The Money Went Capital
See Robert Palmer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrGw_cOgwa8
corzined ultra conservative fund
Muppets Inc!
The Scorpion and Frog Fund.
Corzine Investment Advisors (CIA)
The Sheep Shearers' Group
FraudForge
Funny names are clever to read but, if Obama is re-elected and you are told that your 401K or pension must be invested in this fund run by Corizide because it buys US Treasuries that no one else will buy, it won't be a laughing matter.
satan's proxy smoke and mirrors devaluation capital destruction and confiscation fund. spsmdcd&c ' fund. 1 million ... scratch that, no minimum dollar/share entry. 10% annual and 50% charge minimum on all accounts. checks on all returns and proceeds will be post dated one year from date of issue due to rehypothecation requirements and potential legal expenses.
ATLHF (ABOVE THE LAW HEDGE FUND LLC)
Muppet Fools R Us; Corzined Red, Inc.; Rathole, NLC* (* No Liability Corporation);
Jail House Stock, LLLLLLC; Grim Weepers Investing
Vanishing Value Federally Protected Fund
Normalcy Bias Capital.
Basically, being set up as a holding house for a much larger crime that money against your wishes will be transfered into. IRA, Retirement acct. 401K et al and have named Jon Corzine the CEO since he has done such a great job in the past.. Did a terrific job fleecing NJ and it doesn't stop there.
Who in their right mind would invest in this new venture? Besides a government slush fund being trasnfered to him?
Krowdog Capital
it's not like you weren't warned- fund
inlyww.
.
[KR328] Keiser Report: Frankenmarkets and Austrian Economics
http://maxkeiser.com/
PIPO Funds
Poo In - Poo Out
Would you buy a used hedge fund from this man?
Is your Hedge fund name "Used Up Capital" then?
;-)
Ass'ets Rapped Capital, LLC
Untouchable Capital LLC.
TCTP (Too Connected To Prosecute) Fund
Slogan: If it gets really bad, we'll get a bailout for ya! (I mean us...)
Dis-gusting Unlimited
LTCM - Long Term Capital Mugglement.
Plutocracy Partners
houdini fund, now you see your $$,now you don't!
The ZIRP, LURP, REVERSE QE DOUCHEWALLA POOF Fund.
Jon Cuntzine: Proprietor
Some numbered bank account in far off Europe: Transfer Agent
FYM Global - "Fuck You Muppets Global"
Try to catch-me fund
Catch-Me If-You-Can Fund Management
Try to catch-me fund
Dewey Cheatem & Howe
Sorry that's been used.
And It's Gone...
Jim Crow Capital
Where we "segregate" all accounts into ours, and give our customers the back-of-the-bus treatment...
Ponzine LLP
Hold 'Em and Fold 'Em, Inc.
CCCP LLP conscripted capital confication party
Hotel California
Auschwitz
White House Fund
Payola
STCM
Barebacked and Broke Mountain Partners LLP