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What Should Jon Corzine's Hedge Fund Be Named?
Since over the past five years hedge funds are better known for coming up with ingenious names, than for actually outperforming the market (recall that "the aggregate hedge fund index is now significantly underperforming the S&P 500 (from both the top in 2007 and the lows in 2009"), we hereby wish to do the Honorable Jon Corzine a favor, and save him the money he would otherwise spend on an expensive naming consultant, by offering up the creative services of our audience in conjuring the name for his future hedge fund. So dear ZH readers, take it away, although keep in mind Long-Term Capital Vaporization LP appears to already have been taken by a patent troll (soon to be likely sued by YHOO).
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Bendover Capital
LOPM Fund , as in "Losing Other People's Money"
Ow My Balls, LLC
Counterparty Capital, LLC
Corzine'sReallyAwesomePlan...
STCM, Short Term Capital Mismanagement
"We treat your money like it's our very own"
Infinite Asset Rehypothecation Management
Celente Gold & Corzine Fund
FMG Fund, aka the Fleecing More Goyim Fund
Extraterrestrials-into thin-Air Fund
Janet Tavakoli Explains Why Jon Corzine Is Guilty
TENTACLE FUND LP
Jon Corzine Is The Load His Mother Should Have Swallowed Fund, LP
Stigmata, LLC
Short Term Capital Mismanagement Fund
Declining Assets Fund
Motto: Let a Pro lose your money
==========
Genius topic, Tyler, Folks coming out of the woodwork to post on this. Can't wait for Banzais take...
One Night Stand Fund
I'll Fuck you and never call you back.
or
The You Didn't Build That, But I Did Take Your Money Fund.
If you ask where your money went?
Answer: If you had money here, you didn't bring it here. The goverment did that and now JPMorgan has it.
Criminal Metal Enterprises
Democrat Party Campagin Slush Fund
The Black Pearl Trading Company
Kiddie Pool Partners - happily commingling client funds in the same pool since 1997
or
Gorbachev Partners Ltd. - tear down that wall (between client and firm funds)
Tarpit Capital Reduction Fund
Reckless Crapshoot
Shameless Partners
Audacity Unlimited
New Low
Ephemeral Capital
The Fund's ads during the Sunday morning pundit shows ("Browbeat the Man in the Suit, with David Brinkley") will license Leonard Cohen's Everybody Knows and MC Hammer's Can't Touch This.
MOM Capital
Master Of Muppets
- Pullin Your Strings -
Sino Capital
Black Swan Capital: "We Fly by Night."
ISBIL Capital (I Should Be In Leavenworth)
Leverage-On-Leverage Fund, or LOL
Social Security
The Campaign to Re-elect
"Gi' me yo mahney"
Skull Fucker Muppet Management, LP
"Sound fiscal advice, integrity you can trust"
Lawyers, Gun's and Money LLC.
Rotting from the head on down.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-Xfti7qtT0&feature=g-logo-xit
JUST THE TIP, LLP.
CATS
Capital Asset Transfer Scam
FC Capital - Fabulous Corzine
DDDDC, LLP (for him, anyway)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHcKkBWR4Mk&feature=related
Give Me Yo Money Bitchez, LLP.
Jim Henson Productions.
Griftopia Short-Term Capital Mis-Management
ReHypothecation Capital LLP
Sans Fiduciary Officium
"Corzini Capital" Cudda Been Secretary of Treasury, wasnt enough FRAUD
Dont worry they owe me
Roma Gypsy Tri Monte Capital
Corzined Capital Mismanagement
Not cool to laugh this much on a train.
That said, if each of you that's posted (5 pages, or about 700 so far I recon) COMPLAINED TO SOMEONE, in writing, he'd be in prison by the end of the year.
Do something, m.f.!
I see some Deeeeeeuuuuuuuooooooossssshhhhhhh gave u a thumbs down, but he/she is probably right. It would not make any difference. Nice thought though. I'll throw ya a +1
One Voice Management
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA-eWdHdiRA
RDF-Riding Dirty Fund
Tickle Me El Mo-money! Trust LLC
I'd follow along the footsteps of GE "we bring good things to life" and go with something simple like Corzine LLP "above the law and beyond prosecution"
BOFTBOFABCAMF Fund
BEND OVER FOR THE BIG ONE FROM A BIG CRONY AND MISSING FUNDS FUND
Long Term Capital Displacement
Dooh Nibor Asset Management - Specializing in inverse Robin Hood trades
or how about....
Chase Manhattan Depository
Black Hole Unobtanium Fund
how about 'the LATE jon corzine' hedge fund....
Whywouldanyonegiveme Capital
Holder's Homie
Heads I Win, Tails JPM Gets It All
Corzine, Madoff & Milken Red Ink Inc. Corpse
Sucker Me II
M.O.C.B
Money over custormers bitchez.
Slip, Trip, and Skip fund.
The BOB fund.
Bend
Over
Bitchez
I'm surprised that Corzine hasn't bought that original poster and put it on his wall so he can have a good laugh every morning.
The JPM & NYPD Pension Slush Fund
JAWASS MONEY
The Boardwalk Empire Fund
Tulip Turds
Boris Karloff hedge fund.
"Pull the string!"
Now You See It Now You Don't, the NYSINYD fund.
Pain Capital
What is the prize in this stupid contest? A free subscription to ZeroHedge?
OFA Partners.
Obamney for America
"It Is What It Is" LLC
more suggestions...
Whiskey Tango Fund
SSD Company
Best LIttle Whorehouse in the USA! - "We'll fuck you good!"
Fool Me Twice LP
- Brought to you by www.MoneyForNothingTheMovie.org
oh duh, here's the perfect name: ChutzPAC
Blackhole.LLP
Go Fuck Yourselves, Bitches LLP
FHF - Fuggghetabout it Hedge Fund.
Deposit your cash and forget about it, dumbass.
I vote for the:
We've got Beards Trust us with your Money.
WGBTUM.
Wugtum. Think of the children won't you?
We Strive To Fuck You Capital Management
The Human Fund
A.IG (And ..... It's Gone).
Rehypothecations 'R Us
I hope no one else entered this before me. The thread is getting too big, too fast, to tell.
C.R.E.A.M.
Corzine Rapes Everything Around Muppets
h/t WU TANG financial
http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/tw2ltp/chappelle-s-show-wu-tang...
Dewy, Cheetum and Howe.
FUMUPPONZ
the come on you enjoyed it as much as I did, don't kid yourself fund
The George Bush, you can't get fooled me again fund
Too Legit To Quit L.L.C.
Another One Bites The Dust Fund
CCCCM
Corzine Campaign Contribution Capital Management
My first thought was "Black Hole Event Horizon II", but it looks like other ZH-ers posted similar entries. Runners-up might include:
- Heisenberg Uncertainty Fund (amount and location of funds can't be simultaneously known)
- Social Security Trust Fund
- Corzine 3X TVIX
- Muppet Maelstrom
- Petty Cash
Help Me Somebody Fund
Al & John's Carbon Credit Exchange Bureau
WHERES MY FUCKING MONEY? jon
ohh and
prison bike,
THE PRESIDENTIAL FUND.
H.T.G.T.
Here Today
Gone Tommorow
or
BOA
BendOverAgain
FDIC
Fiat Deposit Incineration Corporation
A. L. Fund
(Anal Leakage)
Get Corz-holed Fund
Ponzi Reloaded LLC
Sphincter Associates LLP.
Cayman Island Getaway Sweepstakes
Honey Badger Zero Return Aggressive Pyramid Fund
Scumsucking Piece of Fucking Shit
We Are Corrupt and You Better Like It!
the felonious embezzlement fund
Facebook.
Ben Dover Capital
Disappearing, Inc.
The JOHN Fund -
Now go work your corner, Bitch, and bring it all back to me. Oth wise, I beat yo Ho ass and snitch to OBammy! An you will get a fuckin' disease!
FORWARD SOVIET!
Financial Sodomy, Inc.
HCMA
Holder
Covers
My
Ass
This is nothing.
Just wait to see Obama's "pardon" list this Christmas....
HDQ
Hung Drawn and Quartered like the bastard should be !
How about if Phil Gramm is walking around free, so'me.
Pardon Fund LLC
Black Hole Investment Fund... where all of your money goes in, but never comes out having collapsed into the singularity of sovereign debt.
STCM
Short Term Capital Management
Presidential Bundler Immunity Fund, LLC dba Senatorial Govener's Trust
CMM
Corzine Muppet Management
LOCM
Lack of capital management
LYCM
Lost Your Capital Management
Regional Obamacare Funded Liabilities - Fund (Managing partners: dr. Amschel Quicksand, and dr. Larry Sinkhole)
FUX Redux
or
MEH (Magnanimous Eric Holder)
B-Cubed Capital Management ("Barack Bails Bundlers" Capital Management)
Crony Capital Management
Rehypothicated Capital
Missing Funds LLP
Obama Reelection Campaign
J. Corzine Mother F'd Ass Management
*Specializes in making levered contrarian bets on extra loose and veiny dragging on the floor MILF's.
On second thought... I just insulted wonderful hard working MILFs of all sorts there. Sorry :S
Please don't buy into the fund and send hate e-mails to jcorzine@JCMFASSMGMT.xxx
The Secretary Fund
JC Pennys.
I don't want to do this, but Jamie says I still owe him a billion and change. Jamie scares me. If I don't try to pay him back he's going to make me wear a red dress and lipstick and go to some Oklahoma cattle auction where the ranchers will get to bid on me. I don't remember fucking ranchers, only farmers. Holy shit, I'm a dead man.
OR
ITAT (It Takes a Thief...here's the 1970 opening title: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKT_hWv_fbQ
I like it!
I can't wait for this asshole to spend some of his money on this little venture...What a douche....
High-Grade Structured Credit Enhanced Leveraged Municipal Collateralized Tranche Derivative High-Frequency Hide-the-Salami Fund (Footnotes 1, 2)
Footnote 1. Corzine added, “I simply do not know where the money is, or why the accounts have not been reconciled to date. I do not know which accounts are unreconciled or whether the unreconciled accounts were or were not subject to the segregation rules.”
Footnote 2. Corzine said, “There were an extraordinary number of transactions during MF Global’s last few days, and I do not know, for example, whether there were operational errors at MF Global or elsewhere, or whether banks and counterparties have held onto funds that should rightfully have been returned to MF Global.”
Soetero Sinkhole LLC
"Welcome Infidels"
I wonder if loud-mouth Celente has the balls to do a little personal payback on Corzine? Street justice behind a couple of 10mm Double tap HPs?
Above the Law Asset Management
CMM: Corzine Magic Management
Its no trick, your funds really do disappear.
I thought your italicized comment in the article is the best.... "Take It Away"
Descriptive,informative, accurate.
Kinda like Tiger... even the guys he plays with don't like him very much. Must be kinda unnerving, always wondering what they really think of him.
(Put that three putt -vaporized money- right out of your mind)
JJ
W.H.O.R.E.
(World Organisation for Rehypothicated Equity)
'The world's oldest fund'
Orificia
Orificia
I am the way the truth and the light. My sons, we must prepare for the end times...come to me and all will be well. We must keep our money from the zionist lizard bankers. please visit my page to learn the truth
http://www.angelfire.com/ca6/timespiral/ufo.html
I just hope the job after that is pitchfork tester - on the receiving end!
As they say in Texas: "Someone get me a rope!"
Ice Teel Ure Assets (ITUA)
Chutzpa Inc.
Benover Hanover
MADOFF PARTNERS Limited .
Hear what Ann Barnhardt from Barnhardt Capital Management has to say about Hypothithication
http://youtu.be/JZMuOrpHn54