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What Was Not Said During Jamie Dimon's Media PR Campaign

Tyler Durden's picture


Today's Meet The Press PR damage control campaign orchestrated on behalf of Jamie Dimon by the fawning press was just another attempt at redirection, in which a faux contrite Jamie Dimon promises that as a result of being '100% wrong' about his prior "Tempest in a Teapot" description of the Bruno Iksil debacle, he has learned his lesson, and in tried and true American fashion deserves a second chance. The rest was filler. What was not said is that the entire business model of the modern US banking edifice, where due to the Net Interest Margin limitations imposed by ZIRP, is one of prop trading as being a glorified hedge fund is the only way the banks can generate a rate of return above their cost of capital.

  • What was also not said was the glaring lies by Blythe Masters from a month ago who swore up and down to CNBC that JPM does not engage in prop trading: "We have offsetting positions. We have no stake in whether prices rise or decline"
  • What was also not said is that contrary to "conventional wisdom" where a few prop traders have been sacked (most likely due to not taking enough risk) prop trading is alive and well across Wall Street, even if it has been largely rebranded as 'flow trading' - just as the high freaks are scrambling to come up with a new name for HFT because that will make all the difference.
  • What was also not said, nor discussed, is why anyone would trust or invest in these money center banks when their balance sheets are so opaque, even their apparently clueless CEOs flip-flop within a month on what is really happening, with accounting standards so poor, that nobody can figure out what they are investing in, and why Mark-to-Market is still halted (Aren't banks finally quote unquote healthy?).
  • Finally, the most important thing not said, was Glass-Steagall, the one law whose overturning allowed the commingling of deposits and hedge fund activity courtesy of Gramm-Leach-Bliley, hilarious called the Financial Services Modernization Act of 1999. If America is to have even a remote hope of returning to normalcy, Glass-Steagall has to be reinstated. Which is why nobody brought it up on MTP: neither the anchor who is accountable to an organization which needs the status quo for advertising revenues, nor the hungry for TV exposure senator, nor the DCF-expert access journalist. Nobody.

Luckily America's population - at least the part which realizes that nothing has changed for the better, and that fundamentally things have continued deteriorating, especially when removing the central planners' crutches - is becoming increasingly more educated and realizes just how much it is being lied to by prominent bankers, on prime time TV, in a process that further destroys any residual credibility of the status quo. And for those curious what happens when the last ounce of faith in a failing system disappears, we have one word: Europe.


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Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:50 | 2421797 cristo
cristo's picture

I just heard a rumor over the grapevine regarding bankruptcy of attorneys being brought into meetings RE JPM.. I cannot tell you if this rumor is true.. We will find out on Sunday.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:55 | 2421812 knukles
knukles's picture

Oh Really!?!?!?!?!

Which one of thier counterparties went belly on whom that have a bazillion dollar CDS claim and are wooried about recovery?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:31 | 2422486 slewie-the-pi-rat
slewie-the-pi-rat's picture

Meet the Press

nah, more like

 Meet the Fcking Monkey hosted by monkey man himself and his cast of chimps

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 01:19 | 2422791 monoloco
monoloco's picture

"Fawning press", no shit, Friday on Bloomberg was like a fucking Jamie Dimon love fest as they paraded out one apologist after another.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:18 | 2421873 HD
HD's picture

Never gonna happen. JPM will be around long after mushroom clouds dominate the skyline and zombie Jamie will be feasting on glowing cockroaches.


Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:50 | 2421964 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I don't see how you could be wrong.  Jamie need only pick up the phone and order up a few billion more from The Bernank.  Yes, super-size it, problem solved.  Oh yes, and don't forget that the replacement money will be counted as income to JPM which will end up in bonus checks in no time.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:01 | 2421989 Joe The Plumber
Joe The Plumber's picture

JPM was the Fed before the Fed was the Fed

And still is

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:27 | 2422067 HD
Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:54 | 2422256 Deathtothecreature
Deathtothecreature's picture

Nicely Done

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:45 | 2422436 Rahm
Rahm's picture

A few billion from the berank won't help this one... not this time.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:12 | 2422286 AmCockerSpaniel
AmCockerSpaniel's picture

It does not have to come to that. It's the MSM that is the weak link. Get them off the money take, and back to looking out for the people. That would really be half the battle. No corrupted MSM, and then no more mind control of the voters.

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 20:42 | 2425369 yomama91274
yomama91274's picture

Really tough to understand these commentators with Jamie Dimon's dick in their mouths.


Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:59 | 2421802 Cursive
Cursive's picture

I refuse to waste my time watching any of this crap (but thankful ZH does it for me and for posterity).  Skip the filler and go straight for the killer -- ZeroHedge.


ZeroHedge: (n.) The financial media's 800 pound gorilla with a chainsaw for a penis.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:58 | 2421827 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Let er' rip baby.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:16 | 2421866 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Tyler Durden: [to the police chief] Hi. You're going to call off your rigorous investigation. You're going to publicly state that there is no underground group. Or... these guys are going to take your balls. They're going to send one to the New York Times, one to the LA Times press-release style. Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not... fuck with us.

As far as Tyler's excellent current post. That douchebag anchor (David Gregory) is married to a very high level executive at Fanny/Freddy. Everybody talks their book. and is tripple dipping.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:20 | 2421880 HD
HD's picture

I would not want to meet Mrs. 800 pound gorilla...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:51 | 2421803 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Nothing Yanks like more that a story of the "king of WS"  falling from grace and his redemption.

Now if Janie Dimon found god, as part of his "second chance" they would crown him president and king of the world tomorrow.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:57 | 2421817 Cursive
Cursive's picture


It's not just Yanks, but - like everything - we do it harder and greater than anybody else.  There is very little moderation in the American character. 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:04 | 2421836 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture


But yanks are particularily enamoured of those who as part of their redemption tour find god. 

Look at "W" is like as soon as someone has found the "lord" nothing counts prior to that finding.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:24 | 2421889 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Religion is cheaper than dope.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:55 | 2421969 malikai
malikai's picture

I beg to differ.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:24 | 2422404 Drachma
Drachma's picture

Not for religious addicts.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:29 | 2422079 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

Redemption is practically required for anyone in the public eye. If you're a politician who screwed up, you find Jesus. If you're a movie star who screwed up, you go into rehab.

The American public is especially entertained by religious celebrities who fall from grace and then make a tearful, televised plea for absolution. Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker come to mind, but there have been many others.

Q: Why did they spell their last name with two K's?

A: Because three would have been too obvious.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:32 | 2422326 Mayer Amschel R...
Mayer Amschel Rothschild's picture

That's God with a capital G; get that straight you heathen Cunts.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:22 | 2422638 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

"Paris is well worth a Mass" - sorry, the French beat us to that redemptive tactic some time ago.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:59 | 2421820 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

They already have Warren and former IMFer Johnson asking for resignation as part of the pretend control demolition of TBTF.

This strikes me as a make-over attempt so the public can have the illusion of a victory.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:07 | 2421849 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

LOL @ Janie Dimon

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:55 | 2422737 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Lizzy sez:

Now if Janie Dimon found god, as part of his "second chance" they would crown him president and king of the world tomorrow.


Naw lizzy - he wouldn't want to take the pay cut.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:53 | 2421807 QuickDraw007
QuickDraw007's picture

Day Trading Rules To Live By

At Stock Legends we want our followers to be as profitable as possible so we took the time to put together some basic day trading rules for you to follow. We hope that you will use these day trading rules to assist you in your trading to become more profitable trader. Don't just read these day trading rules once, feel free to visit often so the day trading rules are fresh in your brain before the trading day starts. Live these day trading rules, don't just read them.

Read the rest of the article right here:

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:03 | 2421838 brewing
brewing's picture

fling your poo much...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:30 | 2421903 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

Your site is rubbish for housewives.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:53 | 2421810 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

That smug looking cocksucker....he better have body guards cause something bad is bound to happen to him and his kind very soon...
I'm just telling ya....

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:27 | 2421894 Joe The Plumber
Joe The Plumber's picture

And on an unrelated topic a basic sniperscope and mossin nagant rifle combo can be had for around two hundred bucks. A 440 case of russian surplus ammo is about a hundred bucks

7.62 X 54 is a very nice rifle round

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:03 | 2421991 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

Useful info....cheers

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:24 | 2421813 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Glass-Steagall too arcane for our modernized world. As is honesty and accountability....

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:55 | 2421814 QuickDraw007
QuickDraw007's picture

Great article..  It is going to be very hard for us as a country to break apart the Good Ol Boys club that we are seeing presently in the upper echlon..

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:42 | 2421947 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

    They're self-destructing on their [TBTF's] own! For God's sake - Chinas' CB is now in a race to the bottom with the FRB [ZIRP] to see who can print faster and deeper to maintain the illusive 'Hegemony Crown'. The rest of the globe knows what's happening with Americas' Fiat, except 'We the People", with Basel III being trashed here, and a`broad,... staring down from the Great Wall? 

     I'll put my fiat on China with 1.5bn ppl., which by the way if we turned the clock backwards are perhaps in the 3rd or top-half of the 4th inning of a 'obsolete-hard-to-let-go' 19th & mid 20th century american industrial age. Ironically, the U.S. service sector that now makes up ~75% of growth will soon metastasize into the entire exported economy.

      The 'Good-ol-Boys' never left the country, they were always 'Loyalist", wearing a two-sided hat!

Ps. Fantastic Post Tyler,   Thankyou :-)) 














Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:58 | 2421821 Cursive
Cursive's picture

This all reminds me of the great skit in "Chicago."  Even if you don't like musicals or Richard Gere, please watch this.  Sums up the media better than anything:

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 15:58 | 2421825 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:13 | 2422026 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

  Fee Jon Corzine!

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 00:05 | 2422747 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Bumper Sticker of the Month!

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 07:27 | 2423034 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Teapot Dome(s)

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:00 | 2421830 W10321303
W10321303's picture

He forgot to say...."As long as I have Mr. Bo Jangles in my ass pocket, I can be the BIGGEST fraud in the world"

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:01 | 2421832 resurger
resurger's picture

MF Morgan 

JP Global

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:04 | 2421837 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

Jamie Dimon will renew his faith in Jesus and run for president on a constitutional promise to pass an amendment that defines marriage as a relationship between male and female homo sapiens. His prime concern is some female getting a license to marry her male dog. When he announces, all will forget his crimes against western civilization.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:05 | 2421840 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Fuck the Lobbyists , Banks and the SEC. Hang the bitchezz and their families.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:05 | 2421845 reinhardt
Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:05 | 2421847 rebelscum1967
rebelscum1967's picture

ZH bringin' the monkeyhammer for the Mourge! Live long and prosper ZH. 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:07 | 2421848 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture

I agree with sentiment towards big banks taking huge positions IFF taxpayers get stuck with the bill. But regulations are made by politicians who have their agendas and don't really care about the economy. My fear is that they will screw it up AGAIN! Dodd-Frank is idiotic legislation and needs to be undone and done CORRECTLY this time. We know what to do.

Just don't over react. And letting Socialist nitwits like Trumka and Warren drive regualtion is insane.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:26 | 2421897 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Total reset or total fail. Screw anything in between

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:08 | 2422186 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

uh....judging the pathological, suicidal and scatalogical way the bankster fuckers have conducted themselves over the last decades, there is no such thing as "too much" regualtion. That is, unless you like watching the financial world go up in flames on a routine basis, with you getting the bill.

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 15:37 | 2424673 imbrbing
imbrbing's picture

You can't regulate evil, they will always find another loophole to crawl through.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:10 | 2421856 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Every week, there is a new normal.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:13 | 2421861 Loukanika the r...
Loukanika the riot dog's picture

This was starting to unravel a month ago and reported here. See

ZH on top again!!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:17 | 2421872 veyron
veyron's picture

TECHNICALLY blythe said that there was no prop trading in the silver markets, and this situation didn't explicitly involved prop trading in the silver market.

Let's definitively force her into a corner and admit she lied.  Calling her a liar too early makes us look like boys who cried wolf

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:00 | 2422366 pacu44
pacu44's picture

Yet, the next black swann that may take down the whole fucking thing...


Got Silver?




Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:19 | 2421876 ableman28
ableman28's picture

The author of this article pinpoints exactly a key moment that helped make the financial catastrophe of the 2008 possible.  The repeal of Glass-Steagal was a law originally enacted during the depression by lawmakes eager to avoid having greed monkey hammer BOTH the economy and the society again.  Look well at the names attached to the sponsors of this bill and note the prime driver Phil Gramm a one time Democrat (when Republicans couldn't get elected in the south because Lincoln was a Republican-no kidding) who came out as a Republican later in his career as it fit more truly his conservative values.  

Note where Mr. Gramm, having left the house of representatives, makes his living theses days; Vice Chairman of UBS AG Investment Bank.  Curiously Gramm was for awhile also cochair of John Mcain's 2008 Presidential campaign.

Mr. Gramm's views of the populace suffering under the ill effects of a financial meltdown he helped make possible are well known and easily found on the internet.  His belief that ordinary people are whiner's in a society too often coddled by government and their own cushy expectations rather than willing to confront the hard knock reality of a survival of the fitessed world he seems to prefer is typical of how those on top view those struggling on the bottom. Especially when they are partly responsible for making the experience at the bottom worse.


Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:05 | 2421960 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

Phil Gramm's wife Wendy, was employed by ENRON during the "LoopHole Debacle"!

Ref:   "Phil Gramm, UBS & 2 Billion"  

Ps. Sorry, but being a forum must be googled :(

Quote: "In Sept/2011 UBS suffered a $2 Bn. loss beacause of a rogue trader". Sound familiar?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:00 | 2422267 Eternal Complainer
Eternal Complainer's picture

No surprise there. Runs in the family.
Wendy Gramm also former CFTC Chair Wendy Gramm
Who was mentioned in that CFTC admin judge retirement confessional
Judge Painter

"Futures magazine had an article last week about the retirement letter that Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) Administrative Law Judge George Painter sent announcing his retirement.

In the letter, he announces that his fellow admin judge has never awarded a case to a plaintiff in 20 years, and that he did so at the urging of former CFTC Chair Wendy Gramm.

A reminder to those of you who may be unfamiliar with this particular corporate harlot: Gramm was not only the former CFTC chair, but she was an Enron board member and wife of deregulation architect Phill Gramm, who for reasons unknown to decent society, is gainfully employed as a fluffer at UBS, helping to further besmirch the reputation of that bailed out firm.

“In a notice sent to complainants and their attorneys, Judge Painter claims that Levine told him that he had promised former CFTC Chair Wendy Gramm “that he would never rule in a complainants favor”. Painter’s notice goes on to say, “A review of his rulings will confirm that he has fulfilled his vow.”

In the notice Painter recommends the CFTC request the services of an administrative law judge to be detailed to the Commission from another regulatory agency to handle the remain cases on his docket. Painter writes, “If I simply announced my intention to retire, the seven reparation cases on my docket would be reassigned to the only other administrative law judge at the Commission, Judge Levine. This I could not do in good conscience.”

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:23 | 2422657 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Gramm was a minor tool in the repeal of Glass Steagal. It was Robert Rubin as Sec of Treasury under Bill Clinton, and Sandy Weill of Travelers / Citi at the time. 

You are either not well researched or acting as a stooge for the Rubin / Weill clique. 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:21 | 2421878 Vamp-Squid
Vamp-Squid's picture

The Masters of the Universe (Geitner, et al) have had 3 years of relative calm to unwind the montrous derivatives market and to break up these bloated TBTF's. Instead the derivatives market has expanded even more and the BAC's and JPM's have just gotten more and more bloated. The arrogance to think that it can't happen again is staggering. This may take another doubling or tripling of the Fed's balance sheet to paper this one over.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:20 | 2421881 stant
stant's picture

antiicipatory breach biatch

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:22 | 2421885 zerotohero
zerotohero's picture

What a wanker - guys like this putz deserve a kick in the nuts so hard their eye balls shoot out. KARMA BABY - do your thing.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:40 | 2421932 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

And those people who are willing to trade IG9 with hopes that they can kick the Morgue in the nuts...those people have got balls of steel...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:30 | 2421901 luna_man
luna_man's picture



Ah, just another CRIMINAL, we can't let get away!...Right?


Remember, NO PRISONERS!! 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:29 | 2421905 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Will Blythe have to lift her silver shorts now?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:24 | 2422059 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

They really wish you wouldn't peek up there...something smells.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:12 | 2422292 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

In such a fragile market, it is difficult to gauge what may be THE Black Swan that interrupts any desperately planned "unwind" of the dollar.  Hell, it doesn't even have to be anything really big anymore.   The inability to deliver physical silver is one game-ender among a thousand other cons, but I'm partial to it because it would be nice to see the "common man's currency" be the thing that blows away all the maddening hubris.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:36 | 2422329 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Hopefully, the common man has protected himself with just such a currency.

The list of potential black swan events is growing at an exponential rate isn't it?

A $2 billion loss at a bank that makes billions of profits a month shouldn't even be news if times were normal.

Where is the fluttering butterfly that will cause the tsunami?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:33 | 2421911 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

The sheer comedy is Goebbels media had to retake Dimon's original version of interview.


Jamie Dimon Retapes 'Meet the Press' Appearance


Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:23 | 2422294 AmCockerSpaniel
AmCockerSpaniel's picture

Did they pull that link/ site?..........  Disregard... I just got through

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:44 | 2422438 Day_Of_The_Tentacle
Day_Of_The_Tentacle's picture

Yeah.. something made him change his mind about disclosure in a real hurry.

I have almost no clue as to how those credit indices work, and I don't understand how the basis trade on spreads between cash bonds and CDS's work either, nor how the valuation of those contracts works so that it can affect the holders, so they are hit by margin calls. Anyways, something occured to me, that I would like some community feedback on.

I assume that the IG.9 index business is just a small piece of a bigger puzzle, where JPM has been spread betting on recovery in the US, because the index relates to corporate debt of 121 US companies.

What if JPM has also been spread betting with leverage against Portugese Bonds in a big way, possibly as a hedge on Portugese bond CDS underwritten by JPM. It was mentioned in a Bloomberg article that JPM has underwritten some 206 billion more CDS than they have bought. I am thinking that, if some of that amount relates to CDS's underwritten for Portugal and Greece, it could explain this sudden need for public "laying the groundwork for further explanation". Here is why - and it is 100% pure speculation by an idle little mind:

1) Hedgefunds have smelled blood for over a month. The last month in public, but probably before that in private. Maybe they have been biting JPMs buttocks in other areas as well.

2) 4. May. ZH wrote that the Norwegian Sovereign Wealth Fund (NSWF) had completed sale of all Portugese bonds (plus other bonds). The buyer was believed to be US hedgefunds like Dan Loebs Third Point Fund. According to the article, the Portugese bonds rallied in all of April, which would have resulted in spread bet loss, if I understand it correctly.

The NSWF has given the Eurocrats a vote of no confidence with this move. Also, they did not roll over in previous months, when there was an attempt to enforce the CACs on foreign law bonds during the the Greek debt restructure. So they have not been playing nice. The Greek debt redemption is set for 15. May, according to ZH.

3) 9. May. Mr. Dimon records the first interview, but something changes his mind, so a new tape is made on the 11. May. I don't believe that it is the trades and losses alone, because they have apparently been underway for weeks. Something else... and big... has happened.

4) 9. May. The EFSF announces that they will withhold 1 billion Euros of the bailout for Greece, because Greece will not need it until June. There was a contradiction in that this was withheld until Monday, but not needed until June??? Anyways, was this a "Fuck you and go to hell" to the NSWF with "thanks" for refusing the CAC? And/or was this the excuse used and broadcast as deliberate trigger point for an outright default and Euro exit starting on the 15. May?

5) 10. May. If so, could that explain Mr. Dimons change of heart, if he has underwritten the CDS's on Greece and possibly a lot more on Portugal. If EFSF is serious about blocking the 15. May redemption, it is bound to rock the boat seriously in Portugal and hence the need for an emergency Conference Call.

Goldman and JPM apparently had meetings with Bernanke recently. Was that about opening the spigots even harder to the European offices, whose true exposure is not reported to the US comptroller?

I do not know, and I would like to hear your views. Maybe I've got above wrong, but it sure feels like something has changed... something big has changed for real.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:41 | 2421920 Convolved Man
Convolved Man's picture

You mean, nobody asked to see the "Too Big to Fail" tattoo on his right butt cheek.

So much for investigative reporting.


Special shout-out to WB7.


Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:38 | 2421926 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

Everyone deserves a second chance, even the ones who didn't deserve the first one...

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:42 | 2421941 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

What about Bruno?   Three other JPM's get canned.  Is he still in there pitching trying to claw back his bet from the croupier?

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:56 | 2421972 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Gregory, Levin and Dimon, the newest Joo Stooges.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:29 | 2422081 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

who knew dimon was a jew

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 16:56 | 2421976 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

We were sloppy and made mistakes? LOL.

Jamie Dimon is a very bad liar.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:03 | 2421995 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

JPM bonuses are guaranteed by the usa congress and federal reserve.




[dr. evil]

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:08 | 2422010 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

Took the rant right out of me. I feel much better..

Another job well done.

Thanks ZH.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:12 | 2422018 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

When do indictments begin?

Just wait until Holder, AG hears about this. He will be fuming Mad about the lies and misrepresentations

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:13 | 2422021 fleur de lis
fleur de lis's picture

Why is that scruffy little punk Dimon still yammering about financials  and why does anyone still listen to him when he is incapable of managing a coffee wagon.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:28 | 2422073 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

The fact that he has a platform at all shows he is doing a stunning job of "managing." 

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 01:26 | 2422050 Convolved Man
Convolved Man's picture

Well, now we know if a tree falls in the derivative forest and we didn't hear it, the head ranger has to come out a tell us what happened.

From what I can gather, a relatively young CDX tree may have been damaged while being pruned and some blight may be spreading to other trees of the same species.  The tree pruner has been slightly injured, but it is too early to say whether or not he will be able to resume his duties.  The forestry service has been duly notified and stands willing and able to provide assistance and resources as needed.  This incident should have negligible impact on the sustainability and vitality of the forest.  However, tree pruning procedures may need to be reviewed.

We are encouraged to continue our daily festivities.


Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:25 | 2422058 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

next time anyone sees jamie on an elevator, make sure to yell out loud THAT IS WHY EVERYONE HATES THE BANKS !!!

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:26 | 2422070 trgfunds
trgfunds's picture

What Was Not Said During Jamie Dimon's Media PR Campaign






Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:28 | 2422076 newworldorder
newworldorder's picture

These photos remind me of the 3 monkeys parody of separate photos of monkeys covering their respective eyes, ears and mouths, with the caption of " see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil." That says it all.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:38 | 2422107 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

They should rebrand George Carlin's 7 dirty words you can't say on TV to 8, because that eighth is Glass-Steagall.  Whenever it somehow makes a brief appearence, it always illicits the same response as the other 7 words broadcast to a church group of the elderly in the 1970's. 

You'll never hear that word out of the campaigns of Moron Mitt or Bullshit Barack either. 

There's more change in the ending from your decisions in Mass Effect 3 than these 'transformational' charlatans claim to represent as a core ideal and purpose for their candidacy.

Leaders that preside over failed policies that destroy us can also be considered 'transformational', just in an inverse fashion. 

They know all the 'buzz' words, but you'd have to be flat out chasing the dragon of hopium to believe them.


Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:39 | 2422113 Arnold Ziffel
Arnold Ziffel's picture

Looks like Vanguard and State Street are Big Holders of JPM:



Sun, 05/13/2012 - 17:48 | 2422135 Thunder_Downunder
Thunder_Downunder's picture

"reinstate mark to market..."


But.. but.. That's what *caused* the financial catastrophe! 


It only takes a small crack, one minute things are fine, the next theres honesty alll over the shop, on your hands, spattering the curtains.  Do you really want a return to honest accounting? Look what it got us last time... and look how great things have been since...



Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:06 | 2422183 newworldorder
newworldorder's picture

This news program and the main stream media are the equevalent of the "ushers" of the Soylent Green movie - taking us to our financial death with pleasent music and soothing drible from the lying lips of politicians and banksters.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:30 | 2422217 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

Until these issues are rectified, you don't have to wonder about where our economy is headed.

-Mark to fantasy


-OTC Derivatives 

-Repeal of Glass Steagal

-Hidden/illegal swap lines from the Fed

-Fed putting $3T trash on its own balance sheet instead of AAA


All of these allow fraud and/or taxpayer backed gambling to contnue unabated.  Anything else babbled by the MSM should sound like nails on a chalkboard. Do not pay any attention to them. You only have so much space in your brain.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:43 | 2422238 barroter
barroter's picture

What also Dimon never said: "I"m a scumbag thief, no different than some coke addled thug busting car windows to get the change on the floor." 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:44 | 2422239 barroter
barroter's picture

What also Dimon never said: "I"m a scumbag thief, no different than some coke addled thug busting car windows to get the change on the floor." 

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 18:47 | 2422242 q99x2
q99x2's picture

He has really threatened his own life by his actions. The future is very uncertain for him Bankfeind and others because if things hit the fan people will go hunting the likes of him down as a matter of principle.

As a testimony that justice and law can be restored.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:32 | 2422320 Mayer Amschel R...
Mayer Amschel Rothschild's picture


Sun, 05/13/2012 - 19:35 | 2422328 vincent
vincent's picture

Reminds me of an infomercial.

What a joke.



Sun, 05/13/2012 - 20:30 | 2422412 Disenchanted
Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:13 | 2422468 ItsDanger
ItsDanger's picture

The fact that Dimon was on Meet the Press, a political TV show, tells you everything you need to know about whats really going on here.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:28 | 2422559 web bot
web bot's picture

There's a big part of me that's starting to not like the idea of $600 silver. I don't think the world is going to be such a nice place to live in when this hits... and its coming.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:19 | 2422634 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Yo web may not be a good place...but you will enjoy it better if you have stocked up on silver before it hits $600/oz.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:45 | 2422576 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Thank God we're not all be allowed to make mistakes costing fifty times our lifetime income and still be allowed to keep our jobs and smile on camera. Imagine where we would be if that were the case. This makes me proud of the fact that I've been fired before for much less failure.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:08 | 2422594 unununium
unununium's picture

Dimon actually referred to banking as "That Which Creates All Things."  He quite literally considers himself to be God.

How does setting up a massive toll collection apparatus on society's productive capacity somehow equate to producing?

At least we have one thing straight - we know whose "work" Blankfein is doing.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:12 | 2422610 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

Such blow-ups are inevitable, more likely today than they were in 2008.  The supposed "cure" or bandaid for the problems coming to the fore in 2008 was having the Fed and Treasury take over the markets and destroy price discovery.  That cure drove so many players out of the market that what is left is a low volume, easy-to-move, impossible-to-hedge group of markets populated by favored TBTFs who cannot move lest they drive the market away from their own position.  In other words, the cure is worse than the disease.

Since massive banks can no longer operate in this no liquidity, Fed-manipulated environment without increasing the likelihood of these types of blow-ups, then TBTFs have even less reason to exist, or be allowed to exist, then they did in 2008 (when they already had sufficient reason not to exist).

When he should have been trying to salvage his otherwise Peter-Principle'd career, Tim Geithner stuck his thumb up his arse and tried to insure his post-Treasury career by playing lapdog.

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:15 | 2422615 qiongqiong
qiongqiong's picture

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Mon, 05/14/2012 - 01:50 | 2422805 Milton Waddams
Mon, 05/14/2012 - 02:34 | 2422837 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

" Financial Services Modernization Act of 1999"

Congress seems adept at euphamisms and not much else.

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 07:11 | 2423016 highwaytoserfdom
highwaytoserfdom's picture

math chalanged  your posting of the Time breast feeding picture with Bernake and Dimon was precessious.   

Jamie has 70 T in swaps on the books and been printed reserves, dividends by FED..  TBTF is TBT(Exist).   The propagandist on CNBS are out talking Greeks picking garbage dumps.    The MSM, banking, military oligopolistic reign of terror needs trust busting.  These actions IMHO are treasonous..  To quote Jon Stewart "WTF did Martha Stewart go to jail?"

The Meet the press was total propaganda on the station where GE did the exact same trades by financing everything except US businesses.    Treason against natural law and humanity. 

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 08:47 | 2423194 Centurion9.41
Mon, 05/14/2012 - 10:42 | 2423641 Godaddy
Godaddy's picture

Not only do we need glass steagal back, but we need partnership ownership where managers have their own skin in the game. Absent making wall street no longer publicly traded companies, we need huge claw back provisions on compensation.

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