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Will Apple Announce "The Dividend" Tomorrow?

Tyler Durden's picture


Minutes ago Apple announced that first thing tomorrow it will "host a conference call to announce the outcome of the Company’s discussions concerning its cash balance. Apple® will not be providing an update on the current quarter nor will any topics be discussed other than cash." As a reminder, Apple has just about 100 billion in cash. Everyone expects a dividend. So what happens when everyone finally gets what they have been expecting for so long? Will it mean the end of the growth phase and the advent of the "MSFT" anti-growth curve? Also, which bank will claim the commission for advising Apple on how to spend a cash amount that while nearly a third of Greek GDP, is less than half of the US February budget deficit (in other words, Apple could fund just 12 days of the US spending burn rate in February)? Finally, was the pre-election administration at all involved in the making of this decision - remember the company was expected to announce a cash-related decision a month ago, and nothing happened. Why now? All shall be revealed tomorrow at 9 am.

From the press release:

WHAT: Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO, and Peter Oppenheimer, Apple’s CFO, will host a conference call to announce the outcome of the Company’s discussions concerning its cash balance. Apple® will not be providing an update on the current quarter nor will any topics be discussed other than cash.

WHERE: Via conference call. The dial-in number for press is (877) 616-0063 (toll-free) or (719) 219-0041. Please enter confirmation code 592016.

WHEN: Monday, March 19, 2012 at 6:00 a.m. PDT/9:00 a.m. EDT

REBROADCAST: The conference call will be available as a continuous rebroadcast beginning Monday, March 19 at 9:00 a.m. PDT/12:00 p.m. EDT through Monday, April 2 at 9:00 a.m. PDT/12:00 p.m. EDT. The dial-in number for the rebroadcast is (888) 203-1112 (toll-free) or (719) 457-0820. Please enter confirmation code 6274937.

WEBCAST: Apple will provide live audio streaming of its conference call using Apple’s industry-leading QuickTime® multimedia software. The live webcast will begin at 6:00 a.m. PDT on March 19, 2012 at and will also be available for replay for approximately two weeks thereafter. The webcast is available on any iPhone®, iPad®, iPod touch® or any Mac® or PC running QuickTime 6 or later. If you do not have QuickTime installed on your Windows PC, it is available at

This recording is the property of Apple and protected by U.S. copyright law and international treaties. Any reproduction or distribution is strictly prohibited without prior written approval from Apple. Please contact Apple Public Relations or Investor Relations with any questions.

Apple designs Macs, the best personal computers in the world, along with OS X, iLife, iWork and professional software. Apple leads the digital music revolution with its iPods and iTunes online store. Apple has reinvented the mobile phone with its revolutionary iPhone and App Store, and is defining the future of mobile media and computing devices with iPad.


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Sun, 03/18/2012 - 18:53 | 2267942 nestle
nestle's picture


Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:01 | 2267963 knukles
knukles's picture

Just when will it be recognized by the authorities, God's of Man's Secular Souls that MFST and Apple are fucking public utilities?

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:05 | 2267973 sIewie the pi-rat
sIewie the pi-rat's picture

Emancipation Proclamation 2.0

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:22 | 2268002 SHEEPFUKKER

If AAPL is the smartest and best run company in the world, why are they sitting on 100 bill in cash? Oh yeah, there is no inflation.  Great move. So smart. 

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:05 | 2268093 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Or, they see no safe place to invest it? Companies don't sit on cash in a growth environment, they invest it. So what does that say about the economic climate?

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:45 | 2268051 ffart
ffart's picture

You really want apple and MSFT to be government monpolies? Have fun getting that i-Brain implant illegally removed when it causes you to lose bowel control every 5 minutes.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:04 | 2268092 SloMoe
SloMoe's picture

Apple needs to hold onto that cash, in anticipation of their 2017 restructuring...

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 18:53 | 2267943 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Great, push it higher, this market needs more juice right?

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 18:59 | 2267948 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Well, I for one will be anxiously letting my fingers do the walking...NOT!

BTW - tomorrow marks Day 1109 since the March 6, 2009 market "bottom". You know 3+6=9 and 2+9=11, too, right?

Just. Sayin'.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:57 | 2268078 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Meh. It's a bit of a stretch. But I've seen crazy things happen so anything goes

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 22:35 | 2268412 bluestaq
bluestaq's picture

Yeah crazy does happen.  Did you notice that day 1078 from the 3-6-9 SPX 666 bottom was the day the $6TRIL in "fake" US bonds were found in Switzerland, also the day the ECB approved the Greek bond swap.  1078 x .618(golden ratio) = 666 

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 18:56 | 2267951 Racer
Racer's picture

a body needs more than apple juice to keep it alive and well

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:49 | 2268061 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

you've got the wrong apple there Racer ...this is a capital 'A' for Apple, not apple

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:58 | 2268080 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

As long as the dentist is tapping on the teeth and not Apple all is well.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:25 | 2268127 Racer
Racer's picture

"this is a capital 'A' for Apple, not apple"

I downgraded it

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 18:56 | 2267952 Azwethinkweiz
Azwethinkweiz's picture

What will Apple do with their cash? Will they buy/announce:

A. Dividend.

B. Treasury Bonds.

C. Silver bitchez!

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:56 | 2268072 qqqqtrader
qqqqtrader's picture

d. Buy Microsoft then sell it to China for $0.01 on the dollar.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 18:56 | 2267953 urbanelf
urbanelf's picture

My prediction: All shareholders get a $100 iTunes gift certificate.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:27 | 2268015 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Non applicable: Don't spend it all in one place.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:58 | 2268081 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Lol. Probably has expiration and blackout days.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:02 | 2267967 Hulk
Hulk's picture

i-bucks !

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:37 | 2268032 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture


i'd like some :)  


Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:06 | 2267974 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Announce acquisitions.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:14 | 2268100 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

Starting with Visa.  iPhone is now your credit card

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:20 | 2268113 greensnacks
greensnacks's picture

Starting with Netflix, giving them access to tv makers, gaming consoles and other devices that would make launching the next gen iTV easier. Oh and a dividend.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:13 | 2267981 infiniti
infiniti's picture

When MSFT announced their $3/share special dividend in July 2004, the stock opened up 5.5% the next trading day then weakened through the day to finish +1.5%. Within 1 month it was down 5%. It then drifted around until about 15 days before it went ex (11/15/2004), the stock ramped 7% through 11/14. Following the ex date, the stock went into decline, falling 11% through mid-march 2005.


If you bought on the ex-date and held through Friday, you're up 2.7% per year on price appreciation and dividends increase the annualized return to 4.6%. Had you purchased MSFT 7 years prior to the ex-date, you earned 9.5% per year through the ex date.




Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:35 | 2268025 knukles
knukles's picture

If you're interested in ex-dates, I can give you mine's phone number.  Have your health care directive in order before you call her.  Reminds me of the line "She's a predator masquerading as a house pet."  

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:00 | 2268084 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Reminds me of the old PSA: don't put your d*ck in crazy.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:10 | 2267982 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

Preferred Dividend, and you heard it here first, from the fucking Cone.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:17 | 2267992 knukles
knukles's picture

Ya know, the other day I'm sitting at a light and in the car next to me is this lady, probably in her mid 40's and pretty good looking.  (Geessshhh)  And she's yacking away on her iPhone.  No big deal.  Everybody in CA has to pass their drivers exam with a phone in one hand, a latte in the other and if female, holding an open container of fingernail polish upright at the same time. 
So she swaps the phone to her left hand and starts petting her dog with her right.  Well, maybe not petting because he's sitting in the passenger seat and I can't see her hand, but the dog's looking at me and's got this really happy goffy look on it's face, eyes crossed kinda rolled back, tongue hanging out, breathing hard, slobbering all over and I'm wondering what section of the CA Driver's Manual that's in and if I can help out with instructions any way.
Fuck Apple's dividend.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 23:04 | 2268471 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

GTF away from that target.

Car Jackers, robbers, rapists dog nappers etc.

Stay off the "X" and you will live.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:15 | 2267994 ixus
ixus's picture

They'll buy one of the TV/Media companies to give them a leg into the TV market. Simples.


Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:22 | 2268006 knukles
knukles's picture

iThink iGotta take an iDump

iMean seriously.....

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:25 | 2268009 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture


Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:26 | 2268011 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

i i captain!

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:25 | 2268007 monopoly
monopoly's picture


Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:26 | 2268012 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture


Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:31 | 2268020 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

If they announce a dividend the momos are going to shit their pants. Apple will be admitting they are out of growth ideas.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:35 | 2268028 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Have you seen what they are planning to do with the logo?!
That's where their iconic power lies! And they are going to change it!

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:18 | 2268108 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

No I haven't. I'll have to check it out.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:32 | 2268021 knukles
knukles's picture

Ya know, the more I think about it, the more I wonder out loud what's more important; whether that lady at the stop light might play with my Marley and Me or that fucking iDon'tknowwhat dividend?

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:00 | 2268087 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Lady (sp?) wonders...


David Bowie - Little Wonder (4:18)

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:35 | 2268029 shuckster
shuckster's picture

Rumor has it the dividend will be a whopping $2 per share

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:47 | 2268053 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

rumour is it'll be a better return than US taxpayers will get from the Presidents green investments


Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:36 | 2268030 chancee
chancee's picture

Apple has to do something to counter how poorly the ipad 3's are selling and how everyone is complaining the screens are yellow.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:55 | 2268068 knukles
knukles's picture

Fuck they want? They're made in Asia for Christ's sake

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:03 | 2268090 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Hah!...the rokes on rem I'm rolor blind!!!

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:59 | 2268086 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

Cool story bro

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 23:05 | 2268473 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Thats iDope talking.

Either that or everyone is hepatitis.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:40 | 2268041 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Dividends are going to be taxed out of existence in 2013. Get it while you can.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:44 | 2268048 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

another Tax

the news just never gets any better from those parasitres in DC

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:44 | 2268166 greensnacks
greensnacks's picture

Yep. With escalating inflation, the government will use every tool they have to slow the money supply from draining back into the economy, including taxing dividends at higher rates.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:43 | 2268047 El
El's picture

I knew it! When Obama issued his latest executive order a few days ago, permitting government to take over businesses in times of peace or otherwise, I figured they wanted to take over Apple to grab the cash. That is why Apple is announcing how it is going to use it pre-empt Obama's takeover! LAUGHS! I've joined the conspiracy theorists. This is fun! ;)

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:45 | 2268049 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

One month ago was too soon after Jobs' electrical impulses shut off.   I like the "adminisration angle" Tyler.  Maybe Cook secretly wants to the head of the CIA, or ambassador to Malawi or somewhere.  If true, it will just continue to show how TPTB have endless ways to jack the market.


Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:49 | 2268060 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

Still no flash in the latest of iPads :()) went to an apple store yesterday, man tons of people there, haven't seen a lot of buying though just "looking" and asking questions! Will not buy anything for some time want to see iPhone 5 and what it can vs the one I have now, nr 4!

Markets are really highly overbought at these levels and kind of tilting over, apple juicing it a little more will just make shorting a lot easier, they won't part with their cash, if they do it's OVER! Would be admission of a lot of things including end of product range, margin compressions, sales stalling, etc etc, me think some sort of "dividend" and or aquisition to keep stock at certain levels, for now! Pathetic in my opinion, pot head jobs is dead, apple will go the same way, just faster!

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:51 | 2268065 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Apple will announce a 2.5 per cent annual yielding regular quarterly Dividend

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:55 | 2268069 trustee
trustee's picture

Will probably buy out supply chain and do a buyback. I highly doubt they will pay a dividend. 

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:59 | 2268074 HD
HD's picture

You guys are insane...a dividend? Ridiculous. Who comes up with this stuff?

It's obvious they will use the massive money hoard to reanimate Steve Jobs and announce a lemon scented iPhone 5. This was telegraphed by Jobs himself on his deathbed with his final words - "Oh WOW, Oh WOW, Oh WOW" as his consciousness was downloaded to the app store.

Of course, not to be outdone - other media companies will follow - as they will defrost Walt Disney and pump Red Bulls intravenously 24/7 into Rupert Murdoch.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 19:56 | 2268075 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

More IPADS and IPHONES for sale as the sheeples go broke and don;teven realize the crpa they are controlled by.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:11 | 2268097 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

The best move for AAPL would be a stock buyback.  They can keep the growth story going by not doing a dividend which will be a constant capital drain into the future and have the added bonus of signalling that they feel the stock is undervalued even at this price by acquiring shares.  The stock still trades very reasonably based on forward earnings so they are still at a discount since no one has the sort of power they do in tech right now.  I would think they'd need some sort of split eventually just to bring the per share price down but buyback would be the best method I believe.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:22 | 2268121 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

Possible but they already have fewer then 1B shars in free float, why a buy back?! Split?! Not likely, would mean hedge funds would dump en mass!
Whatever they do, it won't benefit other but themselves, I suppose!

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 23:06 | 2268475 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

I call Reverse Split for the record.

Say 6 to 1.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:59 | 2268203 Jake88
Jake88's picture

They may actually be way too smart for that.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:15 | 2268102 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

If Apple were one of the TBTF Wall Street types, they would just divide it up amongst it's emplyees as bonus money.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:24 | 2268124 Gamma735
Gamma735's picture

Appl is a bubble.  Will we hear it pop tomorrow?

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:39 | 2268147 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Apple was paying a consistent annual dividend back in the late 1980's and early 1990's when it was a far less profitable company than it is now.

All this hype about a company that is about to earn $34.00/share this year MAYBE paying a dividend just goes to show you what an absolute farce this "market" has become. And why some people refer to investors these days as "Muppets".

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:53 | 2268179 Jake88
Jake88's picture

They should use their mountain of cash to raise the pay to the child slaves in asia that manufacture their i bling.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:58 | 2268197 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

This world is pretty sad.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 20:55 | 2268192 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Anything to keep the futures from crashing tonight.  Must save blackhole at all cost.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 21:00 | 2268205 Mercury
Mercury's picture

I think AAPL says: "We're going to start buying some shit..."

And maybe a div too...

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 21:17 | 2268230 Yellowhoard
Yellowhoard's picture

There are hundreds of fund managers that are unable to invest in Apple, or any other stock, that does not pay a dividend.

ANY dividend, if only a penny, will propel the stock higher.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 21:36 | 2268283 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

Lord thy god maker of the haven and the earth maker of warmth and cold show me reason, bless me with the vision to see good by action of man his goodness.

If no goodness can be found in the actions of man show me fire and brimstone the ending of all of the actions of man.

Yes if anyone of reason and logic has the ability to end all things of man they are logic bound to end them.

If they do not then it will be up to me in 30years.


Sun, 03/18/2012 - 22:13 | 2268360 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

It doesn't matter because Goldman Sachs has already provided any pertinent information to the clients that matter.  AKA Not You.


NEW YORK (Reuters) - A person at Goldman Sachs Group Inc, who has not been identified or charged in a broad U.S. insider-trading probe, was caught on a wiretap leaking secrets about Intel Corp and Apple Inc, a lawyer for former Goldman board member Rajat Gupta said in court on Friday.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 22:24 | 2268390 Johnny Yuma
Johnny Yuma's picture

QCOM 1999... Enjoy...

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 22:49 | 2268440 BORT
BORT's picture


Sun, 03/18/2012 - 22:34 | 2268406 Artful Dodger
Artful Dodger's picture

I think Apple should buy a shitload of iPads from itself, and announce an iDividend of one iPad 3 per 10 shares owned. They could book roughly 47 billion in revenue. The "price" of the iPads would reduce their cash by half, but at a 30% margin, they'd recover 14 billion in profit, and still have over $50 billion in cash, plus imagine the revenue and EPS boost. Huge growth. Partial iPads could also be issued to shareholders for odd-10 lots, since iPads are fully fungible and also edible.

I do not think there would be any accounting issues here.

--FASB employee

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 22:39 | 2268424 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

My call was to buy puts in anticipation of a dividend.  Oh well... we'll see.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 23:01 | 2268465 AmazingLarry
AmazingLarry's picture

iDon't fucking care.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 23:40 | 2268542 optionmillionaires
optionmillionaires's picture

Dividend would mean they are going against what makes AAPL great... bucking the trend.

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 00:24 | 2268613 zebra
zebra's picture

it is quite strategic for Apple to make the announcement as the last hooray. the new ipad itself have high expectation but was quite a dud, and frankly all the improvement and progress they made are based on semiconductor manufacturing process improvement, which is available to all other competitors, and all the cheap Android or Win8 tablets will eventually catch up. The world is experiencing an Apple bubble and it will end just like all the other bubbles in the history.

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 00:29 | 2268621 zebra
zebra's picture

or maybe they would announce an iLie, a new app to confess that you lied about your quarterly report, anonymously!

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 00:51 | 2268656 shorebreak
shorebreak's picture

“I will spend my last dying breath if I need to, and I will spend every penny of Apple’s $40 billion in the bank, to right this wrong,” Jobs told [Jobs' biographer Walter Isaacson]. “I‘m going to destroy Android because it’s a stolen product. I’m willing to go to thermonuclear war on this. They are scared to death because they know they are guilty.”

Maybe Apple says tomorrow that they're going to spend as much of their $100B as necessary to beat Android to death in court?

Or, maybe they buy Yahoo *and* Microsoft, and prohibit Google Search from all Apple devices (including iPad), until Google settles on Apple's charges against it for stealing to create Android?


Mon, 03/19/2012 - 01:17 | 2268685 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

They are going to announce a hostile takeover of the Federal Reserve offering to replace the FRN with AAPL stock with the argument that the digits they print are the product of human creativity and are not produced at the expense of they come with the letter i in front.

It's the All Selling i versus the All Seeing <i>

Added bonus: The Bernanke to become a greeter at their Flagship storefront in SF

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 01:20 | 2268689 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Soup Nazi says "NO soup for jooo"

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 02:15 | 2268740 Hangfire
Hangfire's picture

Hmmmm, how many Chevy Volts will that buy?

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 03:02 | 2268771 devo
devo's picture

Isn't this priced in?

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