Will Apple Announce "The Dividend" Tomorrow?

Tyler Durden's picture

Minutes ago Apple announced that first thing tomorrow it will "host a conference call to announce the outcome of the Company’s discussions concerning its cash balance. Apple® will not be providing an update on the current quarter nor will any topics be discussed other than cash." As a reminder, Apple has just about 100 billion in cash. Everyone expects a dividend. So what happens when everyone finally gets what they have been expecting for so long? Will it mean the end of the growth phase and the advent of the "MSFT" anti-growth curve? Also, which bank will claim the commission for advising Apple on how to spend a cash amount that while nearly a third of Greek GDP, is less than half of the US February budget deficit (in other words, Apple could fund just 12 days of the US spending burn rate in February)? Finally, was the pre-election administration at all involved in the making of this decision - remember the company was expected to announce a cash-related decision a month ago, and nothing happened. Why now? All shall be revealed tomorrow at 9 am.

From the press release:

WHAT: Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO, and Peter Oppenheimer, Apple’s CFO, will host a conference call to announce the outcome of the Company’s discussions concerning its cash balance. Apple® will not be providing an update on the current quarter nor will any topics be discussed other than cash.

WHERE: Via conference call. The dial-in number for press is (877) 616-0063 (toll-free) or (719) 219-0041. Please enter confirmation code 592016.

WHEN: Monday, March 19, 2012 at 6:00 a.m. PDT/9:00 a.m. EDT

REBROADCAST: The conference call will be available as a continuous rebroadcast beginning Monday, March 19 at 9:00 a.m. PDT/12:00 p.m. EDT through Monday, April 2 at 9:00 a.m. PDT/12:00 p.m. EDT. The dial-in number for the rebroadcast is (888) 203-1112 (toll-free) or (719) 457-0820. Please enter confirmation code 6274937.

WEBCAST: Apple will provide live audio streaming of its conference call using Apple’s industry-leading QuickTime® multimedia software. The live webcast will begin at 6:00 a.m. PDT on March 19, 2012 at www.apple.com/quicktime/qtv/call31912 and will also be available for replay for approximately two weeks thereafter. The webcast is available on any iPhone®, iPad®, iPod touch® or any Mac® or PC running QuickTime 6 or later. If you do not have QuickTime installed on your Windows PC, it is available at www.apple.com/quicktime.

This recording is the property of Apple and protected by U.S. copyright law and international treaties. Any reproduction or distribution is strictly prohibited without prior written approval from Apple. Please contact Apple Public Relations or Investor Relations with any questions.

Apple designs Macs, the best personal computers in the world, along with OS X, iLife, iWork and professional software. Apple leads the digital music revolution with its iPods and iTunes online store. Apple has reinvented the mobile phone with its revolutionary iPhone and App Store, and is defining the future of mobile media and computing devices with iPad.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
knukles's picture

Just when will it be recognized by the authorities, God's of Man's Secular Souls that MFST and Apple are fucking public utilities?

sIewie the pi-rat's picture

Emancipation Proclamation 2.0


If AAPL is the smartest and best run company in the world, why are they sitting on 100 bill in cash? Oh yeah, there is no inflation.  Great move. So smart. 

WonderDawg's picture

Or, they see no safe place to invest it? Companies don't sit on cash in a growth environment, they invest it. So what does that say about the economic climate?

ffart's picture

You really want apple and MSFT to be government monpolies? Have fun getting that i-Brain implant illegally removed when it causes you to lose bowel control every 5 minutes.

SloMoe's picture

Apple needs to hold onto that cash, in anticipation of their 2017 restructuring...

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Great, push it higher, this market needs more juice right?

Tsar Pointless's picture

Well, I for one will be anxiously letting my fingers do the walking...NOT!

BTW - tomorrow marks Day 1109 since the March 6, 2009 market "bottom". You know 3+6=9 and 2+9=11, too, right?

Just. Sayin'.

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Meh. It's a bit of a stretch. But I've seen crazy things happen so anything goes

bluestaq's picture

Yeah crazy does happen.  Did you notice that day 1078 from the 3-6-9 SPX 666 bottom was the day the $6TRIL in "fake" US bonds were found in Switzerland, also the day the ECB approved the Greek bond swap.  1078 x .618(golden ratio) = 666 

Racer's picture

a body needs more than apple juice to keep it alive and well

Zero Govt's picture

you've got the wrong apple there Racer ...this is a capital 'A' for Apple, not apple

HungrySeagull's picture

As long as the dentist is tapping on the teeth and not Apple all is well.

Racer's picture

"this is a capital 'A' for Apple, not apple"

I downgraded it

Azwethinkweiz's picture

What will Apple do with their cash? Will they buy/announce:

A. Dividend.

B. Treasury Bonds.

C. Silver bitchez!

qqqqtrader's picture

d. Buy Microsoft then sell it to China for $0.01 on the dollar.

urbanelf's picture

My prediction: All shareholders get a $100 iTunes gift certificate.

Goldilocks's picture

Non applicable: Don't spend it all in one place.

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Lol. Probably has expiration and blackout days.

Zero Govt's picture


i'd like some :)  


Piranhanoia's picture

Announce acquisitions.

junkyardjack's picture

Starting with Visa.  iPhone is now your credit card

greensnacks's picture

Starting with Netflix, giving them access to tv makers, gaming consoles and other devices that would make launching the next gen iTV easier. Oh and a dividend.

infiniti's picture

When MSFT announced their $3/share special dividend in July 2004, the stock opened up 5.5% the next trading day then weakened through the day to finish +1.5%. Within 1 month it was down 5%. It then drifted around until about 15 days before it went ex (11/15/2004), the stock ramped 7% through 11/14. Following the ex date, the stock went into decline, falling 11% through mid-march 2005.


If you bought on the ex-date and held through Friday, you're up 2.7% per year on price appreciation and dividends increase the annualized return to 4.6%. Had you purchased MSFT 7 years prior to the ex-date, you earned 9.5% per year through the ex date.




knukles's picture

If you're interested in ex-dates, I can give you mine's phone number.  Have your health care directive in order before you call her.  Reminds me of the line "She's a predator masquerading as a house pet."  

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Reminds me of the old PSA: don't put your d*ck in crazy.

Cone of Uncertainty's picture

Preferred Dividend, and you heard it here first, from the fucking Cone.

knukles's picture

Ya know, the other day I'm sitting at a light and in the car next to me is this lady, probably in her mid 40's and pretty good looking.  (Geessshhh)  And she's yacking away on her iPhone.  No big deal.  Everybody in CA has to pass their drivers exam with a phone in one hand, a latte in the other and if female, holding an open container of fingernail polish upright at the same time. 
So she swaps the phone to her left hand and starts petting her dog with her right.  Well, maybe not petting because he's sitting in the passenger seat and I can't see her hand, but the dog's looking at me and's got this really happy goffy look on it's face, eyes crossed kinda rolled back, tongue hanging out, breathing hard, slobbering all over and I'm wondering what section of the CA Driver's Manual that's in and if I can help out with instructions any way.
Fuck Apple's dividend.

HungrySeagull's picture

GTF away from that target.

Car Jackers, robbers, rapists dog nappers etc.

Stay off the "X" and you will live.

ixus's picture

They'll buy one of the TV/Media companies to give them a leg into the TV market. Simples.


knukles's picture

iThink iGotta take an iDump

iMean seriously.....

Sudden Debt's picture


Dr. Engali's picture

If they announce a dividend the momos are going to shit their pants. Apple will be admitting they are out of growth ideas.

Sudden Debt's picture

Have you seen what they are planning to do with the logo?!
That's where their iconic power lies! And they are going to change it!

Dr. Engali's picture

No I haven't. I'll have to check it out.

knukles's picture

Ya know, the more I think about it, the more I wonder out loud what's more important; whether that lady at the stop light might play with my Marley and Me or that fucking iDon'tknowwhat dividend?

Goldilocks's picture

Lady (sp?) wonders...


David Bowie - Little Wonder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOoNyjj_ESg (4:18)

shuckster's picture

Rumor has it the dividend will be a whopping $2 per share

Zero Govt's picture

rumour is it'll be a better return than US taxpayers will get from the Presidents green investments


chancee's picture

Apple has to do something to counter how poorly the ipad 3's are selling and how everyone is complaining the screens are yellow.

knukles's picture

Fuck they want? They're made in Asia for Christ's sake

nmewn's picture

Hah!...the rokes on rem I'm rolor blind!!!

HungrySeagull's picture

Thats iDope talking.

Either that or everyone is hepatitis.

Everybodys All American's picture

Dividends are going to be taxed out of existence in 2013. Get it while you can.