Your EBT Card Has Been Denied... At The Spearmint Rhino

Tyler Durden's picture

America's welfare state is about to suffer a double whammy of epic proportions. On one hand, extended unemployment benefits are now running out at a pace of 100,000+ per week, as more and more American's lose eligibility for Komrade Samov's 99-week sponsored vacation, meaning millions of Americans heretofore sitting comfortably on their couch playing Call of Duty and collecting $400 a week will now start having to think for a change - never a good thing for any regime that relies on its electorate to be docile as drunk and fat Hindu cows. And now this: "New York would prohibit welfare recipients from spending their tax-funded benefits on cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, and strip clubs under a bill passed overwhelmingly by the state Senate on Tuesday. "I understand that people need food stamps," said Republican Sen. Thomas Libous, a Broome County Republican. "What I don't understand is why they need to go to strip clubs, buy lottery tickets, go to a 'racino' or buy alcohol." Wait, you mean you can't spend other people's money to pay for a lap dance? What crazy form of inhumane austerity is this. And isn't spending taxpayer dollars at the Spearmint Rhino one of the amendments to the post-Obama constitution? But perhaps the scariest implication is that New Yorkers actually do spend their EBT money at the Spearmint Rhino right off the card, being ripped off with the traditional 15% plastic surcharge instead of just paying cash. Now that is really stupid.

More on the "Public Assistance Integrity Act"

Libous said New York must restrict the spending by recipients whose benefits are linked to debit cards to conform to federal law. President Barack Obama signed a law in February that will require states to restrict how the cash portion of social services is spent, or lose 5 percent of Temporary Assistance to Needy Families funding. New York risks losing $125 million next year.


Others questioned the need for the restrictions, saying they were a slap at the poor.

And though this Act is far from being voted through, already the civil rights brigades are screaming bloody strip club murder:

"It's a prejudice, I think, about poor people that we are seeing represented more than any statistical or study of behavior," said Sen. Bill Perkins, a Harlem Democat and one of the few senators to vote against the measure. "If they have evidence that there's a rash of that, I'd like to see it."

Then there is the GOP response:

New York's Republican senators who led the bipartisan 56-3 vote Tuesday said New Yorkers are amazed the law allows such spending now. The law prohibits the use of food stamps to buy alcohol or tobacco products, but it's allowed under the "cash allowance" contained in the EBT cards.


"'They can do that? Are you kidding me?'" said Sen. John DeFrancisco, a Syracuse Republican, in recounting constituents' reaction. "That outrage is well placed," he said.


"Right now, under the law, you can use the cash assigned for gambling, alcohol and lottery tickets," Libous said. "We get quite a few complaints on an annual basis."


Some state officials are concerned the federal measure, and its 5-percent penalty for failure to enact restrictions, infringes on states' rights to distribute federal welfare benefits under their own rules.

Of course, since most strippers, despite their name, are not equipped with magnetic strip readers, and since most EBT cards will still dispense cash, we can't help but wonder just what is the whole logic behind the idiocy of on one hand generously handing out welfare benefits to anyone with a pulse, and in some zombified cases. without, and on the other coyly posturing for political reasons.

Either way, this sadly may mean that the time to officially short RICK has come.

It, of course, also means that soon enough the #OccupyScores crowd will be firmly in place on the main dancing area, beating their bongos in sync to Pour Some Sugar On Me.

In conclusion, what else but... My EBT.

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Damn!! I was wondering why my card just got denied

SilverTree's picture

Im chained up in slavery-slavery-slavery

ghengis86's picture

By extension, shouldn't all those politicians be barred from buying all the coke, hookers, cigars and Chivas with state monies?

If its good enough for the fucks in congress, at least the poor sap formerly employed by MF Global can have a taste.

Fucking idiot douche nozzles all around

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

They earn their fucking money man!  They sweat blood to get their contributions from JPM.

Manthong's picture

Oh boy..

That’s really going to hammer the service sector lap dance stats for the rest of the year.


Caviar Emptor's picture

Don't you get it? Reagan proved that we need to shop till we at the very least drop! Without shopping the whole economy will drop. And that means buying the most frivolous, unnecesary, disposable, cheap thrills available. Shop quick shop hard!

The Big Ching-aso's picture



Electronic Booty Transfer.

economics9698's picture

Fucking take away the EBT strip club card and watch the 85 IQ Jerry Springer crowd steal more Tide detergent.  It will fucking happen. 

ihedgemyhedges's picture

The "Public Assistance Integrity Act"

Funny, elected officials in New York using the word "Integrity".....................

AldousHuxley's picture

EBT = subsidy for businesses that target the poor = keep the poor fed so they don't revolt = $200/month = vote buying by republicans (southern) and democrats (inner city) for their ignorant constituents.


right way to do this is through direct distribution of basics like butter, salt, rice, etc. not money.






fourchan's picture

the natives will be restless.

Aziz's picture

The rich can spend their bailout welfare at Spearmint Rhino. 

AldousHuxley's picture

you mean rich likethe traders at AIG?


"AIG made more than 73 millionaires in the unit which lost so much money that it brought the firm to its knees, forcing a taxpayer bailout."



lets get back to the real issue.....corrupt wall street.

12ToothAssassin's picture

I bought a lot of lead and brass based precious metals (cash - not direct on card) with my 4 weeks of EBT sponsored vacation unemployment before I found another job. Smart or selfish? You decide, I'll be busy stacking.

FEDbuster's picture

Wait till they (and you) have to line up for your 5 lb. bag of government rice thrown from a FEMA truck.  Stock up on long term storage food now, while it's cheap and available.

Obamney 2012, Hasten the Collapse

DaveyJones's picture

everyones' booze/booty/bubble gum tax card

Lednbrass's picture

Contrary to the made up idiocy of you in the urban chest shaver brigade, southern repubs arent living on EBT. Whatever their misconceptions and issues, that isnt it. The mentality of the southern blue collar type is very much that if they cant earn it, they dont want it or need it- and if times get tough they will band together for as long as they need to. As a point of reality, the cost of living in the rural south is low enough that one can live decently in an area with little ot no crime on a modest income.

For some reason it just makes you lefty tards feel good to pretend it is that way.

LowProfile's picture

Most people don't leave the county they're born in, except for vacations.

Doesn't matter if it's Dekalb or New York.

AldousHuxley's picture


Top 10 states with largest % of population on food stamps

  1. DC
  2. Mississippi
  3. Tennessee
  4. New Mexico
  5. Oregan
  6. Louisiana
  7. West Virginia
  8. Michigan
  9. Kentucky
  10. South Carolina
AldousHuxley's picture

In the 2010 fiscal year, $65 billion in food stamps were distributed, with an average benefit per recipient in a household of $133 per month.


AIG  received $170 billion in taxpayer bailouts after posting a loss of $61.7 billion.


corporations win.


but you know who LOVES food stamps more than the poor? Fortune 500s who service the poor.....



The Big Ching-aso's picture



An EBT enterprising entrepreneur could open up an holistic grocery next door 2 a strip club & provide healthy eating, drinking, & inflamed joint-massage. 

Lednbrass's picture

1) Got any actual SOURCE material, not just numbers pulled from thin air and entirely unsubstantiated?

2) Got a breakdown that shows political affiliation and food stamp usage and actually proves what you say? 

Im betting the answers are no and no. You actually think that proves your claim?

Normalcy Bias's picture

Where's "Oregan?" And, if California, which contains roughly 30% of the nation's welfare recipients didn't make the list, I'm not buying it...

SilverIsKing's picture

There's nothing funny about funny money.

Jethro's picture

I am always surprised by what I learn on this site. 

Cursive's picture


85?  That's generous.  Regardless of mental capacity, the Springer demimonde are the sub-68 functioning retarded.

TruthInSunshine's picture


 It's Free Swipe Yo EBT

"Keywanda is having the time of her life. Her job is raising her family of 10 children, while dealing with the drama and stress of the children's fathers. Thanks to the great state of California, Keywanda can support her lifestyle of having fun, getting "Turnt Up" and the kids can even get to eat from time to time."

Paul Krugman has suggested a stimulus package whereby the threshhold to receive EBT cards would be reduced significantly, effectively doubling the number of EBT card recipients to approximately 100 million persons, and allowing holders of EBT cards to purchase tobacco, alcohol, bath salts, and even services (such as manicures, pedicures, massages and hair weaves). The other portion of the Krugman Stimulus & Financial Hole Digging Act of 2012 would call for the United States to offer and sell 22 trillion USD worth of treasuries in order to fund the 'Defending Against A Hostile Uranus Invasion Program,' whereby each U.S. household would be provided with plasma and particle ray guns, along with enough radiation resistant material to encapsulate their homes with.


Dr. No's picture

If you recommend dropping cash from a helicopter, you are laughed at.  If you give a long winded rationale for more EBT cards, you get a Nobel prize.

geekgrrl's picture

"the Krugman Stimulus & Financial Hole Digging Act of 2012"

This is very funny, and all too true. How does that saying go again? ... "If you find yourself digging a hole, the best course of action is to stop digging!

Edit: The linked video is "currently unavailable."

Conrad Murray's picture

Poor choice of EBT song. This one is much better...


TruthInSunshine's picture

Conrad, sorry about posting a link to the same song.

FWIW, I did link the 'clean' version.

Conrad Murray's picture

No worries fellow tube inhabitant. Here's to hoping more people see it and indulge. And here's to doubly so hoping ZH sees it fit to include in the article on an update :D

palmereldritch's picture

Damn! If she had a Platinum version of that card she could go to the head of the security line at Pearson Airport now....

I could never understand why they named my favorite 'ocracy' after my least favorite Disney character...


rambo1028's picture

You warned me.... should have heeded it....

After I paid my bills today, I have $100 to live this week. I have a 30 minute commute (car gets 31 mpg), daughters lunch $3/day, and we only have meat for two meals... hope to god I don't see an EBT while I am at the store tomorrow with my change bag. I might just find my breaking point.

On a more positive note, at least my state has some restrictions. They do not allow the purchase of any hot food items. I used to think that was a bad idea. My rationale was that if their gas and/or electric is shut off they wouldn't be able to have any hot meals for their kids. After watching that video, I realize that the way I used my assistance when I had it is much, much different than how some use it. So now I am glad for the restrictions.

What a world, what a world...

SheHunter's picture

..."Shop quick shop hard".. Nice word play there CE.  Like it.

Born-Again Bankster's picture

I don't believe this article has anything to do with unemployment benefits, but rather welfare checks.  Last I heard, most of the unemployment checks were physical and unable to be restricted after cashed or deposited into an insolvent bank. 

A brief aside:  I think this site would be more beneficial to everyone if, instead of just pumping physical metal purchases and hyper-inflation scenarios, it also played devil's advocate and suggested what it thought a printing press central banking system would do next other than ignite a catastrophe.   There just seems to be so little respect given to the ability of the mainstream media to sway the masses and/or the politicians to appease the sheeple that the "doomsday" scenario is painted as an inevitability here on ZH.  There's almost always more can kicking.  I simply think you are undersestimating the ignorance of the masses as it pertains to these issues and the lengths TPTB will go to keep the ponzi alive.


And enough with this Graham Summers guy...plllleaase!

ParaZite's picture

Slavery would imply that some hard manual work was being done. 

rambo1028's picture

Oh it is being done.... by whom was not clear....

Waffen's picture

"My EBT, my EBT, Eating good, potato chips"

Cursive's picture


I believe that you and I understand the intended levity of this "song," but I can't help but think that good men died to create this worthless society.  All for naught....

FeralSerf's picture

For thousands of years good men have been dying because they believed a load of bullshit from some self-appointed leaders and their publicists.  It was nearly always all for naught.

AldousHuxley's picture

define "good"


EBT collecting dumbasses who fund local businesses which happen to sell alcohol, so that the business owner can send his kids to college is not necessarily "bad" if you look at the big picture.


compare EBT abusers to those like Romney and Bush BORN with millions who want to ensalve you even more.

FEDbuster's picture

Moochelle Obama is the biggest EBT abuser in the US.   Living for free in WH (section 8 at it's finest), free food at the WH (no need to go to Safeway and swipe her card), free transportation (govt. limos, planes, etc...), the best healthcare (no visits to the free clinic for her and the kids), need I continue??

AldousHuxley's picture must be poor.

yes point fingers at someone while ignoring the white elephant in the room.....



Do you want to compare michelle obama to the lives of ditzy hedge fund manager wives or hollywood whores?

how about that heather mills gold digger who got $50,000,000?

How about kobe bryant's gold digger wife who wanted $75,000,000?


Turn on the TV, if you really want to see freeloaders getting rich off of backs of others.

rambo1028's picture

Although you sometimes irritate me aldo.... you do make me think.... so +1 for that