Your EBT Card Has Been Denied... At The Spearmint Rhino

Tyler Durden's picture

America's welfare state is about to suffer a double whammy of epic proportions. On one hand, extended unemployment benefits are now running out at a pace of 100,000+ per week, as more and more American's lose eligibility for Komrade Samov's 99-week sponsored vacation, meaning millions of Americans heretofore sitting comfortably on their couch playing Call of Duty and collecting $400 a week will now start having to think for a change - never a good thing for any regime that relies on its electorate to be docile as drunk and fat Hindu cows. And now this: "New York would prohibit welfare recipients from spending their tax-funded benefits on cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, and strip clubs under a bill passed overwhelmingly by the state Senate on Tuesday. "I understand that people need food stamps," said Republican Sen. Thomas Libous, a Broome County Republican. "What I don't understand is why they need to go to strip clubs, buy lottery tickets, go to a 'racino' or buy alcohol." Wait, you mean you can't spend other people's money to pay for a lap dance? What crazy form of inhumane austerity is this. And isn't spending taxpayer dollars at the Spearmint Rhino one of the amendments to the post-Obama constitution? But perhaps the scariest implication is that New Yorkers actually do spend their EBT money at the Spearmint Rhino right off the card, being ripped off with the traditional 15% plastic surcharge instead of just paying cash. Now that is really stupid.

More on the "Public Assistance Integrity Act"

Libous said New York must restrict the spending by recipients whose benefits are linked to debit cards to conform to federal law. President Barack Obama signed a law in February that will require states to restrict how the cash portion of social services is spent, or lose 5 percent of Temporary Assistance to Needy Families funding. New York risks losing $125 million next year.

 

Others questioned the need for the restrictions, saying they were a slap at the poor.

And though this Act is far from being voted through, already the civil rights brigades are screaming bloody strip club murder:

"It's a prejudice, I think, about poor people that we are seeing represented more than any statistical or study of behavior," said Sen. Bill Perkins, a Harlem Democat and one of the few senators to vote against the measure. "If they have evidence that there's a rash of that, I'd like to see it."

Then there is the GOP response:

New York's Republican senators who led the bipartisan 56-3 vote Tuesday said New Yorkers are amazed the law allows such spending now. The law prohibits the use of food stamps to buy alcohol or tobacco products, but it's allowed under the "cash allowance" contained in the EBT cards.

 

"'They can do that? Are you kidding me?'" said Sen. John DeFrancisco, a Syracuse Republican, in recounting constituents' reaction. "That outrage is well placed," he said.

 

"Right now, under the law, you can use the cash assigned for gambling, alcohol and lottery tickets," Libous said. "We get quite a few complaints on an annual basis."

 

Some state officials are concerned the federal measure, and its 5-percent penalty for failure to enact restrictions, infringes on states' rights to distribute federal welfare benefits under their own rules.

Of course, since most strippers, despite their name, are not equipped with magnetic strip readers, and since most EBT cards will still dispense cash, we can't help but wonder just what is the whole logic behind the idiocy of on one hand generously handing out welfare benefits to anyone with a pulse, and in some zombified cases. without, and on the other coyly posturing for political reasons.

Either way, this sadly may mean that the time to officially short RICK has come.

It, of course, also means that soon enough the #OccupyScores crowd will be firmly in place on the main dancing area, beating their bongos in sync to Pour Some Sugar On Me.

In conclusion, what else but... My EBT.