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Your EBT Card Has Been Denied... At The Spearmint Rhino

Tyler Durden's picture


America's welfare state is about to suffer a double whammy of epic proportions. On one hand, extended unemployment benefits are now running out at a pace of 100,000+ per week, as more and more American's lose eligibility for Komrade Samov's 99-week sponsored vacation, meaning millions of Americans heretofore sitting comfortably on their couch playing Call of Duty and collecting $400 a week will now start having to think for a change - never a good thing for any regime that relies on its electorate to be docile as drunk and fat Hindu cows. And now this: "New York would prohibit welfare recipients from spending their tax-funded benefits on cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, and strip clubs under a bill passed overwhelmingly by the state Senate on Tuesday. "I understand that people need food stamps," said Republican Sen. Thomas Libous, a Broome County Republican. "What I don't understand is why they need to go to strip clubs, buy lottery tickets, go to a 'racino' or buy alcohol." Wait, you mean you can't spend other people's money to pay for a lap dance? What crazy form of inhumane austerity is this. And isn't spending taxpayer dollars at the Spearmint Rhino one of the amendments to the post-Obama constitution? But perhaps the scariest implication is that New Yorkers actually do spend their EBT money at the Spearmint Rhino right off the card, being ripped off with the traditional 15% plastic surcharge instead of just paying cash. Now that is really stupid.

More on the "Public Assistance Integrity Act"

Libous said New York must restrict the spending by recipients whose benefits are linked to debit cards to conform to federal law. President Barack Obama signed a law in February that will require states to restrict how the cash portion of social services is spent, or lose 5 percent of Temporary Assistance to Needy Families funding. New York risks losing $125 million next year.


Others questioned the need for the restrictions, saying they were a slap at the poor.

And though this Act is far from being voted through, already the civil rights brigades are screaming bloody strip club murder:

"It's a prejudice, I think, about poor people that we are seeing represented more than any statistical or study of behavior," said Sen. Bill Perkins, a Harlem Democat and one of the few senators to vote against the measure. "If they have evidence that there's a rash of that, I'd like to see it."

Then there is the GOP response:

New York's Republican senators who led the bipartisan 56-3 vote Tuesday said New Yorkers are amazed the law allows such spending now. The law prohibits the use of food stamps to buy alcohol or tobacco products, but it's allowed under the "cash allowance" contained in the EBT cards.


"'They can do that? Are you kidding me?'" said Sen. John DeFrancisco, a Syracuse Republican, in recounting constituents' reaction. "That outrage is well placed," he said.


"Right now, under the law, you can use the cash assigned for gambling, alcohol and lottery tickets," Libous said. "We get quite a few complaints on an annual basis."


Some state officials are concerned the federal measure, and its 5-percent penalty for failure to enact restrictions, infringes on states' rights to distribute federal welfare benefits under their own rules.

Of course, since most strippers, despite their name, are not equipped with magnetic strip readers, and since most EBT cards will still dispense cash, we can't help but wonder just what is the whole logic behind the idiocy of on one hand generously handing out welfare benefits to anyone with a pulse, and in some zombified cases. without, and on the other coyly posturing for political reasons.

Either way, this sadly may mean that the time to officially short RICK has come.

It, of course, also means that soon enough the #OccupyScores crowd will be firmly in place on the main dancing area, beating their bongos in sync to Pour Some Sugar On Me.

In conclusion, what else but... My EBT.


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Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:41 | 2541231 PSEUDOLOGOI

Damn!! I was wondering why my card just got denied

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:42 | 2541233 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Can I haz bath saltz?

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:49 | 2541240 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

Im chained up in slavery-slavery-slavery

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:55 | 2541269 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

By extension, shouldn't all those politicians be barred from buying all the coke, hookers, cigars and Chivas with state monies?

If its good enough for the fucks in congress, at least the poor sap formerly employed by MF Global can have a taste.

Fucking idiot douche nozzles all around

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:08 | 2541308 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

They earn their fucking money man!  They sweat blood to get their contributions from JPM.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:20 | 2541340 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Oh boy..

That’s really going to hammer the service sector lap dance stats for the rest of the year.


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:36 | 2541418 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Don't you get it? Reagan proved that we need to shop till we at the very least drop! Without shopping the whole economy will drop. And that means buying the most frivolous, unnecesary, disposable, cheap thrills available. Shop quick shop hard!

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:49 | 2541458 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



Electronic Booty Transfer.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:07 | 2541512 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Fucking take away the EBT strip club card and watch the 85 IQ Jerry Springer crowd steal more Tide detergent.  It will fucking happen. 

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:26 | 2541554 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

The "Public Assistance Integrity Act"

Funny, elected officials in New York using the word "Integrity".....................

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:58 | 2541638 flacon
Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:42 | 2541756 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

EBT = subsidy for businesses that target the poor = keep the poor fed so they don't revolt = $200/month = vote buying by republicans (southern) and democrats (inner city) for their ignorant constituents.


right way to do this is through direct distribution of basics like butter, salt, rice, etc. not money.






Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:13 | 2541837 fourchan
fourchan's picture

the natives will be restless.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:30 | 2541898 Aziz
Aziz's picture

The rich can spend their bailout welfare at Spearmint Rhino. 

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 01:00 | 2542100 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

you mean rich likethe traders at AIG?


"AIG made more than 73 millionaires in the unit which lost so much money that it brought the firm to its knees, forcing a taxpayer bailout."



lets get back to the real issue.....corrupt wall street.

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 02:43 | 2546123 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

I bought a lot of lead and brass based precious metals (cash - not direct on card) with my 4 weeks of EBT sponsored vacation unemployment before I found another job. Smart or selfish? You decide, I'll be busy stacking.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:35 | 2541914 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Wait till they (and you) have to line up for your 5 lb. bag of government rice thrown from a FEMA truck.  Stock up on long term storage food now, while it's cheap and available.

Obamney 2012, Hasten the Collapse

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:45 | 2541944 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

everyones' booze/booty/bubble gum tax card

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:18 | 2541845 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

Contrary to the made up idiocy of you in the urban chest shaver brigade, southern repubs arent living on EBT. Whatever their misconceptions and issues, that isnt it. The mentality of the southern blue collar type is very much that if they cant earn it, they dont want it or need it- and if times get tough they will band together for as long as they need to. As a point of reality, the cost of living in the rural south is low enough that one can live decently in an area with little ot no crime on a modest income.

For some reason it just makes you lefty tards feel good to pretend it is that way.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 00:05 | 2542000 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture

Most people don't leave the county they're born in, except for vacations.

Doesn't matter if it's Dekalb or New York.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 00:17 | 2542026 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture


Top 10 states with largest % of population on food stamps

  1. DC
  2. Mississippi
  3. Tennessee
  4. New Mexico
  5. Oregan
  6. Louisiana
  7. West Virginia
  8. Michigan
  9. Kentucky
  10. South Carolina
Wed, 06/20/2012 - 00:44 | 2542071 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

In the 2010 fiscal year, $65 billion in food stamps were distributed, with an average benefit per recipient in a household of $133 per month.


AIG  received $170 billion in taxpayer bailouts after posting a loss of $61.7 billion.


corporations win.


but you know who LOVES food stamps more than the poor? Fortune 500s who service the poor.....



Wed, 06/20/2012 - 02:38 | 2542194 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



An EBT enterprising entrepreneur could open up an holistic grocery next door 2 a strip club & provide healthy eating, drinking, & inflamed joint-massage. 

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 03:47 | 2542273 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

1) Got any actual SOURCE material, not just numbers pulled from thin air and entirely unsubstantiated?

2) Got a breakdown that shows political affiliation and food stamp usage and actually proves what you say? 

Im betting the answers are no and no. You actually think that proves your claim?

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 05:36 | 2542342 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Where's "Oregan?" And, if California, which contains roughly 30% of the nation's welfare recipients didn't make the list, I'm not buying it...

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 05:57 | 2542348 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Right on, Brother!

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:46 | 2541770 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

There's nothing funny about funny money.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 09:22 | 2542839 Jethro
Jethro's picture

I am always surprised by what I learn on this site. 

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:31 | 2541576 Cursive
Cursive's picture


85?  That's generous.  Regardless of mental capacity, the Springer demimonde are the sub-68 functioning retarded.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:06 | 2541656 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture


 It's Free Swipe Yo EBT

"Keywanda is having the time of her life. Her job is raising her family of 10 children, while dealing with the drama and stress of the children's fathers. Thanks to the great state of California, Keywanda can support her lifestyle of having fun, getting "Turnt Up" and the kids can even get to eat from time to time."

Paul Krugman has suggested a stimulus package whereby the threshhold to receive EBT cards would be reduced significantly, effectively doubling the number of EBT card recipients to approximately 100 million persons, and allowing holders of EBT cards to purchase tobacco, alcohol, bath salts, and even services (such as manicures, pedicures, massages and hair weaves). The other portion of the Krugman Stimulus & Financial Hole Digging Act of 2012 would call for the United States to offer and sell 22 trillion USD worth of treasuries in order to fund the 'Defending Against A Hostile Uranus Invasion Program,' whereby each U.S. household would be provided with plasma and particle ray guns, along with enough radiation resistant material to encapsulate their homes with.


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:28 | 2541887 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

If you recommend dropping cash from a helicopter, you are laughed at.  If you give a long winded rationale for more EBT cards, you get a Nobel prize.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 04:07 | 2542291 geekgrrl
geekgrrl's picture

"the Krugman Stimulus & Financial Hole Digging Act of 2012"

This is very funny, and all too true. How does that saying go again? ... "If you find yourself digging a hole, the best course of action is to stop digging!

Edit: The linked video is "currently unavailable."

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:31 | 2541577 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

Poor choice of EBT song. This one is much better...


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:36 | 2541585 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:07 | 2541664 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Conrad, sorry about posting a link to the same song.

FWIW, I did link the 'clean' version.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:20 | 2541704 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

No worries fellow tube inhabitant. Here's to hoping more people see it and indulge. And here's to doubly so hoping ZH sees it fit to include in the article on an update :D

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 00:00 | 2541938 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Damn! If she had a Platinum version of that card she could go to the head of the security line at Pearson Airport now....

I could never understand why they named my favorite 'ocracy' after my least favorite Disney character...


Fri, 08/17/2012 - 22:20 | 2716002 rambo1028
rambo1028's picture

You warned me.... should have heeded it....

After I paid my bills today, I have $100 to live this week. I have a 30 minute commute (car gets 31 mpg), daughters lunch $3/day, and we only have meat for two meals... hope to god I don't see an EBT while I am at the store tomorrow with my change bag. I might just find my breaking point.

On a more positive note, at least my state has some restrictions. They do not allow the purchase of any hot food items. I used to think that was a bad idea. My rationale was that if their gas and/or electric is shut off they wouldn't be able to have any hot meals for their kids. After watching that video, I realize that the way I used my assistance when I had it is much, much different than how some use it. So now I am glad for the restrictions.

What a world, what a world...

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 01:01 | 2542102 SheHunter
SheHunter's picture

..."Shop quick shop hard".. Nice word play there CE.  Like it.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 00:54 | 2542086 Born-Again Bankster
Born-Again Bankster's picture

I don't believe this article has anything to do with unemployment benefits, but rather welfare checks.  Last I heard, most of the unemployment checks were physical and unable to be restricted after cashed or deposited into an insolvent bank. 

A brief aside:  I think this site would be more beneficial to everyone if, instead of just pumping physical metal purchases and hyper-inflation scenarios, it also played devil's advocate and suggested what it thought a printing press central banking system would do next other than ignite a catastrophe.   There just seems to be so little respect given to the ability of the mainstream media to sway the masses and/or the politicians to appease the sheeple that the "doomsday" scenario is painted as an inevitability here on ZH.  There's almost always more can kicking.  I simply think you are undersestimating the ignorance of the masses as it pertains to these issues and the lengths TPTB will go to keep the ponzi alive.


And enough with this Graham Summers guy...plllleaase!

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 01:20 | 2542127 aldante
aldante's picture


Wed, 06/20/2012 - 09:22 | 2542838 ParaZite
ParaZite's picture

Slavery would imply that some hard manual work was being done. 

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 22:24 | 2716006 rambo1028
rambo1028's picture

Oh it is being done.... by whom was not clear....

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:15 | 2541332 Waffen
Waffen's picture

"My EBT, my EBT, Eating good, potato chips"

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:34 | 2541582 Cursive
Cursive's picture


I believe that you and I understand the intended levity of this "song," but I can't help but think that good men died to create this worthless society.  All for naught....

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:42 | 2541602 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

For thousands of years good men have been dying because they believed a load of bullshit from some self-appointed leaders and their publicists.  It was nearly always all for naught.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:52 | 2541784 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

define "good"


EBT collecting dumbasses who fund local businesses which happen to sell alcohol, so that the business owner can send his kids to college is not necessarily "bad" if you look at the big picture.


compare EBT abusers to those like Romney and Bush BORN with millions who want to ensalve you even more.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:29 | 2541888 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Moochelle Obama is the biggest EBT abuser in the US.   Living for free in WH (section 8 at it's finest), free food at the WH (no need to go to Safeway and swipe her card), free transportation (govt. limos, planes, etc...), the best healthcare (no visits to the free clinic for her and the kids), need I continue??

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 00:41 | 2542062 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture must be poor.

yes point fingers at someone while ignoring the white elephant in the room.....



Do you want to compare michelle obama to the lives of ditzy hedge fund manager wives or hollywood whores?

how about that heather mills gold digger who got $50,000,000?

How about kobe bryant's gold digger wife who wanted $75,000,000?


Turn on the TV, if you really want to see freeloaders getting rich off of backs of others.

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 22:27 | 2716010 rambo1028
rambo1028's picture

Although you sometimes irritate me aldo.... you do make me think.... so +1 for that

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:19 | 2541352 Waffen
Waffen's picture

The banks get money for free. Fiat paper is a joke, why not just give each American $100,000 a week, let this charade end as it should.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:29 | 2541392 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

+1 for the comment and two thumbs up for the boobs

The next time some dickbag claims 'deficits don't matter', the '$100,000 for each warm body' stimulus should be beat into their smug-fugly faces.

Fucking morons

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:47 | 2541615 PC Load Letter
PC Load Letter's picture

I'd rather see the money go to strippers then propping up insolvent banks. At least they are contributing to society

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:43 | 2541761 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

didn't you watch inside job?


bankers do spend money on strippers....actually they go even deeper....prostitutes.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:23 | 2541867 Spider55
Spider55's picture

Right, having more welfare babies

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 22:30 | 2716012 rambo1028
rambo1028's picture

Party of the century in the USA! Would definitely increase tourism...

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:39 | 2541424 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

don't worry, soon to be app for the ipod and the "cube" that connects to the ipod to swipe your gov benefits to that fav stripper of yours.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:41 | 2541432 Hard Assets
Hard Assets's picture

Nice panties !

Is she pregrant?

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:56 | 2541477 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Where does she keep the card swipe thing-a-ma-jig?

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:44 | 2541606 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

She's (it's) a robot.  There's a nearly hidden slot between her legs.  Ain't technology wunnerful?

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:50 | 2541958 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Let's just say it's a "lip-reader" - and not on the face!

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:56 | 2541479 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Forget the panties. =)

I had a hard time reading the article. However, I think People will find a way to trade on EBT because there is plenty of ways to swipe cards such as on Cell Phones and such that are equipped with a card reader.

If the gal is preggo, and your EBT is bad, you could pay for the lapdance with say... baby formula bought and paid for with your EBT.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:38 | 2541751 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture



Nope, that's perfect female form right there  ...about as good as my avatar I would say.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:26 | 2541876 Spider55
Spider55's picture

Yes with

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:46 | 2541609 TeMpTeK
TeMpTeK's picture

What No camel Toe either?


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:58 | 2541797 LongBalls
LongBalls's picture

I can't get past the photo long enough to read the article. Damn I love women!!! How could any man be into da' frank n beans? I'll never get it. And thank God for that.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:20 | 2541856 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

And thank you for changing your avatar!

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:28 | 2541885 Spider55
Spider55's picture

She is a drag queen, look closer between the legs

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:42 | 2541931 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Hope & Chains while illegal alien Obama and RINO Fidel Rubio want more amnesty.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 01:48 | 2542153 putaipan
putaipan's picture

oh snap!

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 07:59 | 2542483 midtowng
midtowng's picture

This law will have the same effect as preventing the poor from buying yachts, pro baseball teams, and senators.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:45 | 2541232 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

enter... Black Market for SNAP cards... In other news... "SPEARMINT RHINOS BITCHEZ!"

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:49 | 2541243 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I've been in line at stores and had someone ask me if I could buy their stuff in trade for their snap credits.

"It's an even trade!"  I was told.

And no, I did not trade my paper for credits.  Funny because there was a point when I didn't think it could get worse than using funny money.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:48 | 2541248 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

50 cents on the dollar exch rate for SNAP cards.

The government is stupid and so populist in their thinking and their behavior.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:51 | 2541254 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

The government?  The same government that has "hired" Central Banks to issue the supply of "money"?

Really Lizzy, who is the idiot here?  The government, the economists and bankers, or the people that allow these two regemes to run their world?

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:20 | 2541350 BitingTruth
BitingTruth's picture

Well Said.  I love the name too.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:40 | 2541431 SeattleBruce
SeattleBruce's picture

This didn't happen overnight.  The solution will take a while to coalesce.  Certainly longer than we'd like.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:52 | 2541256 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

no doubts on all of the above...

40 oz. Olde English High Gravity ought to command a premium...

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:58 | 2541274 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

SNAP cards are backed by the extractable amount of Steele Reserve from the Kwik-E-Mart mines

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:24 | 2541371 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:58 | 2541488 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

This is good info.  After my 6 figure severence and other hot to trot assets fail I look forward to this fun and apparently quite musical money.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:13 | 2541527 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Better start stakin out your terrain now... It's quite territorial in that part of town...

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 22:40 | 2716022 rambo1028
rambo1028's picture

Eff you.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:57 | 2541482 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

I rather keep the 40 ounce silver thank you.

At least I managed to flee the land of 20/20.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:54 | 2541262 bdc63
bdc63's picture

"50 cents on the dollar exchange rate for SNAP cards"

... sounds like the kind of business JPM might be interested in -- I'll give Dimon a call and see if he wants a piece of the action ...

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:07 | 2541304 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

While you're on the phone with him, whisper- "g u i l l o t i n e" .


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:48 | 2541618 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

I think JPM is in the SNAP card business.  They get a fee for each swipe.  Who knows who gets the card balances that are never used.  Ask Jamie.  It might be a substantial sum.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:59 | 2541277 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

50 cent (or less) on the "snap dollar" has been the motto of the pusherman since... well... the snap card. 

The other economy. 

I'm willing to bet >30% of social-security checks in the big city go to the pusherman too for predatory drug lending.


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:52 | 2541259 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

Black Market? Racist much?

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:02 | 2541289 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

didn't think of that until you just brought it up... Thanks for bringing it back to the forefront of everyone's attention...

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:09 | 2541311 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

I think most tend to NOT think about it anymore. It's a foregone conclusion.


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:09 | 2541310 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Blackmarket -- da hood be one big ass market.

It be rayciss.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:59 | 2541489 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

The kind of ass you need to take a bus and a train to get around to the good side.

At least these little wee ones are still able to perform without danger of heart failure.

If the wee ones were not allowed to work at the Rhino, the Mammys at the Project can put on something for you.

Better bring sufficient drink to ease the shock on your eyes and brain.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:42 | 2541234 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

No Bitches, Bitchez..


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:42 | 2541235 bdc63
bdc63's picture

file this one under "you just can't make this stuff up"

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:50 | 2541252 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

A dollar spent is a dollar spent.

I don't give a shit if they buy food, booze, or overpriced booze at a strip club.

How many dumbasses are actually buying the requirements for a meal, and fuck you organic food tools because you pay twice as much for nothing but the word.

And why should any of you idiot fucks care if your tax dollars go to food or booze? It's still leaving your hands and going into someone elses.


Pass all the fucking laws you want, no way around what I just wrote.



Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:01 | 2541286 bdc63
bdc63's picture

Uhm ... I think the "anger management" seminar at the YMCA starts at about 8pm ... just say'in ...

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:03 | 2541294 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Marla Singer is going to be at 'testicular cancer', just so you know...

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:20 | 2541360 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Also, their (YMCA) soda machine will accept your EBT, Mr. Foil.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:16 | 2541690 forexskin
forexskin's picture

*snif - snifFFF* trav? is that trav7777?

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 01:43 | 2542145 Taffy Lewis
Taffy Lewis's picture


No, gully just seems to be a dick whereas Trav777 used to piss people off by saying sensible things such as that if you stuff the United States with 3rd world people then you will end up with a 3rd world country.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:06 | 2541301 nmewn
nmewn's picture

So, uh, Gully...anything you want to splain about how you spend your free time and how its paid for? ;-)

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:21 | 2541546 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Well he definitely isn't spending his money on his meds.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:21 | 2541853 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

It's hurtful to restrain a man's trade like that.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:14 | 2541331 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Gully Foyle you need help but in the meantime use that food stamp card and buy yourself a few grams of gold.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:24 | 2541870 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

If the personality shift that guy has undergone is any indicator, I dont think it was grams of gold.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:18 | 2541344 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

"And why should any of you idiot fucks care if your tax dollars go to food or booze? It's still leaving your hands and going into someone elses."

Well, a lot of those SNAPPERS have youngins.

Think about the children...

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:22 | 2541862 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

The booze and the "chillun" are not exactly independent phenomena.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:42 | 2541435 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture


Pass all the fucking laws you want, no way around what I just wrote."

You just made a good case for less regulation.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:04 | 2541813 harleyjohn45
harleyjohn45's picture

Forget EBT cards and go back to commodities.  Beans, Flour, Salt meat, cheese, Etc.  People on assistance had to go down and pick them up in person.  Now that would be a sight to behold.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:25 | 2541874 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

As well as less of a "system".

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 01:32 | 2542137 knukles
knukles's picture


or more eugenics....

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:01 | 2541496 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Organic means to fertilize with the pile of composted shit.

At least we become REAL friendly if you purchased that kind of crops from me.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:51 | 2541255 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

Isn't ZH the repository for that file already? I swear not an hour or two goes by without me reading ZH and thinking that.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:43 | 2541237 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:44 | 2541238 Shameful
Shameful's picture

This is an outrage! Booze and strippers are some of the only local industries left in the US, buy American! Strippers, both receiving and giving "stimulus".

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:59 | 2541641 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

it's all going to the asian strippers.   its easier to swipe yer card in their horizontal box.

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 07:59 | 2542484 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

Horizontal?  I thought it was vertical 

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 04:01 | 2542295 Isotope
Isotope's picture

"When it gets down to it — talking trade balances here — once we've brain-drained all our technology into other countries, once things have evened out, they're making cars in Bolivia and microwave ovens in Tadzhikistan and selling them here — once our edge in natural resources has been made irrelevant by giant Hong Kong ships and dirigibles that can ship North Dakota all the way to New Zealand for a nickel — once the Invisible Hand has taken away all those historical inequities and smeared them out into a broad global layer of what a Pakistani brickmaker would consider to be prosperity — y'know what? There's only four things we do better than anyone else:
microcode (software)
high-speed pizza delivery"

-Neal Stephenson "Snow Crash"

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:45 | 2541241 Calvin Jones an...
Calvin Jones and the 13th Apostle's picture

Is there really a Spearmint Rhino in NYC now?  I know they are all over the Los Angeles(and SoCal) area, but I didn't know they've come to the East Coast.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:08 | 2541307 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

I was so sure that "Spearmint Rhino" referred to a deviant sexual practice that I was almost afraid to Google it. But Wikipedia ( claims that the name "is not a codename or reference to anything." What a disappointment.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:27 | 2541565 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I hear you. I've done that before when somebody referred to a lemon party. I made the mistake of googling that.... I have never been right since.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:06 | 2541817 Jena
Jena's picture

you too?

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:09 | 2541823 pods
pods's picture

Well whatever you do, do NOT google Dirty Sanchez.

Or Santorum.

Shit, when you put them together do you get a Rubio?


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:24 | 2541871 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Throw in Palin and you got tubgirl.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:03 | 2541653 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Yer thinking of the experiment rhino.  I googled it and have felt sheepish ever since.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 22:44 | 2541764 macktheknife
macktheknife's picture

Trust me on this one , for pure style points the deviant sexual practice titled "Jelly Donut" takes the cake for the perfect blend of misogyny and visual imagery.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:27 | 2541880 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

"not a codename or reference"

Yeah....not phallic in the least. LOL

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:02 | 2541500 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

You would be surprised at what managed to make it to the other coast.

In my time all you needed was a large sign at the door warning that if you are easily offended by Adult etc etc etc...

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:47 | 2541244 Animal Cracker
Animal Cracker's picture

Fucking tyrants.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:38 | 2541339 itstippy
itstippy's picture

The tyrants want to take our dignity!  If we can't use our EBT cards to score booze & smokes & play the Wild Cherries machine at the tittie bar, what good are they?  What, we're supposed buy Pampers and wheat bread and fucking 2% milk with them?  Fuck that shit!  They're treating us like second-class citizens. Total disrespect.   

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 04:36 | 2542318 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

the poor aren't always without us, walrus without mercy

Total Eclipse of the Heart - YouTube

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:39 | 2541920 TrulyBelieving
TrulyBelieving's picture

When one considers the culture created for people like the 'EBT man' it's easy to actually feel sorry for him. He is not much more than a grown-up child, still depending on someone else for everything, never experiencing the struggles of life, learning do despise things like working, being responsible for himself and family. But on the other hand you have the enablers, statist politicians that profit from taking from the deserving and giving to the underserving. In essence creating this corrupting culture that is the ruin of nations. Those are the tyrants you speak of and hate.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:48 | 2541247 AmenRa
AmenRa's picture

No alcohol? The NY Senate might need to install bullet proof everything.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:05 | 2541298 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Yeah ~ the 18th Amendment worked out real well too... Got a lotta cool gangster movies out of it in the end...

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:51 | 2541250 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

People who have enough dole money to spend on strippers have another source of income.  ODB lives forever!!!

They've got it down to an art in the UK literally, GLC Jobcentre "at the jobcentre life's a laugh they give you free money for your autograph"

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:50 | 2541253 Dr.Vannostrand
Dr.Vannostrand's picture

Off to the Tropical Lei! Will they still accept SNAP @ Royal Spa and Massage? I need my "theraputic massage" after Ben the Powerbottom speaks tomorrow.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:52 | 2541258 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 When they "BAN" sugar based drinks and soda, in my "Baskin Robbins" give me a call!  My Local Bar/Strip joint is just fine! / sarc

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:53 | 2541263 The Proletariat
The Proletariat's picture

Gas, grass, or ass....nobody rides for free

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:56 | 2541273 Dr.Vannostrand
Dr.Vannostrand's picture

K-DEE Baby!

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 21:03 | 2541503 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Gas is easily managed when you dont have a job and grass can be mowed by a snot faced brat for 5 bucks and ass is somewhat more challenging as you get on in years.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:06 | 2541819 mjk0259
mjk0259's picture

Where do you find these kids that will cut your grass for $5? More like $50 for tiny lawn where I live.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:34 | 2541913 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Marijuana Bonsai...where FTD meets DEA.

You should be able to get a decent "1/4 acre" for that these days; move out of the sticks! ;)

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 02:02 | 2542170 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

The kind that are working for the Landscaper. He cuts the land now. I don't bother going outside much anymore.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:32 | 2541904 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Cleetus doesn't have any grass or money for gas, but he wants to know if you want 10W40 or P12 grit.


Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:53 | 2541266 Timmay
Timmay's picture

COD is the shit.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:54 | 2541268 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

Are YOU ready for a zombie attack?

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 23:35 | 2541918 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Sure, who are we attacking?

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:55 | 2541271 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Where's his Cape?

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 20:25 | 2541275 Colonel
Colonel's picture

Nanny state for the proles.

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