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Your Taxpayer Dollars At Work: The Police Get An Upgrade For Close "Restless Native" Encounters

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Just in case America's debt slaves, who as of today can congratulate themselves on a brand spanking new 16 handle in front of the 12 zeroes that frame their public debt obligation, did not have enough to celebrate, here is what happens when the local Police station also wants to celebrate something brand spanking new: in this case the new and improved SWAT-H vehicle. This is merely the latest and greatest entrant in the "gentrification"-vehicles that taxpayer dollars are buying in order to be more effectively suppressed as one after another pillar of this country's democracy is taken down. And, for your viewing pleasure, here are the highest crime rate regions that will likely get their 'fair' share of attention from this perriwinkle-blue camper-van of enforced docility.

The Heat-Armor SWAT-H in all its glory...

 

and where it will be deployed - possibly... (via Neighborhood Scout)

 

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Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:10 | 2761870 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Of course, hollow points alone wont kill enough americans!

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:20 | 2761919 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

<cough><cough>IED<cough><sputter><cough>.

Ahem.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:22 | 2761925 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

My Barrett 50cal would eat that POS alive.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:31 | 2761955 SemperFord
SemperFord's picture

Speical ammo would be hard to find no? What about some sort of flammable substance to light those tires...

 

Edit: Dont know if you mean to disable the vehicle or hypothetically penetrate the cabin as I don't know how tank like it is.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:44 | 2762014 JohnG
JohnG's picture

 

 

1) 5 gallons of gas - check

2) Zippo lighter - check

3) Roasted swat team - checkmate.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:47 | 2762029 JohnG
Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:51 | 2762042 davinci7_gis
davinci7_gis's picture

Countdown to the police state in 5...4...3...2...

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:56 | 2762061 Michael
Michael's picture

Question to capitalists;

How much do you think the Clint Eastwood RNC prop Chair would go for on EBAY?

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:02 | 2762086 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Secret Formula with special sauce:

 

1 Molotov Cocktail + 1 match = Krispie Critters!

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:04 | 2762089 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

WTF?  No scoop?

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:35 | 2762105 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I am not interested in this vehicle and why would I be?

p.s. I've heard bizarre rumors that shit's about to get real in Fruitport.

 

-Sent from my FBI-tracked-for-absolutely-no-reasonable-or-articulable-suspicion iPhone-

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:36 | 2762223 Bolweevil
Bolweevil's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tB_uWQOw1j4

armored since 2010. they wheel it out for Christmas parades.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:13 | 2762398 Think for yourself
Think for yourself's picture

I've always wondered why I do not hear *cough*cocktail fans*cough*  discussing the merits of *ahem*potato-projecting contrivances.*ahem*

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:22 | 2762437 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

What no curb feelers, chrome 24s or spinners for that urban camo look?  But that LRAD can sure pump out some solid bass.

IEDs coming to America?

 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:27 | 2762458 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Well, the good news is that the bond holders who paid for that probably will end up taking  90% of it in the shorts.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 20:12 | 2762659 Element
Element's picture

My guess is these fucked-up thug bastards are a bit bored after Iraq and want some of their old toys back.  Drive along and hear some dude with his boom-box up loud?  Simple!  Pop, pop a couple of Mk19s on to his porch then get on the 700watt loud-hailer;

"Turn your fucking shit DOWN you fucking offal-bag! Next one goes up your precious civilian taxpaying-muppet poop-shute!".

The military undustrial (not a typo) not-so-complex, should be happy to sell to both sides, right? ... as it usually does?  Therefore, boom-box guy booms their box with an RPG, to give the remaining fascist arseholes a sense of purpose to relieve their boredom.

</#MERIKA_WINNING!>

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 21:03 | 2762830 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

my 1st thought...

"more boy toys"

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 20:19 | 2762676 Element
Element's picture

It should be pointed out that "HEAT" is in fact an acronym;

High-Explosive-Anti-Tank

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_explosive_anti-tank_warhead

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 20:20 | 2762686 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

...and perhaps Fiesta.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:02 | 2762353 saturn
saturn's picture

"There is no scoop."

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:44 | 2762513 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Or a Dillion Aero M-134 Mini-gun on top?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYNbaYL-puQ&feature=related

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:33 | 2762206 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Homemade napalm filling,laundry detergent and gas improves the coctail.

Plus it blocks the windows.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 07:02 | 2763747 fajensen
fajensen's picture

Nah - No point in adding things that will not add calories to the fuel: 5-10% Polystyrene for sticky nastiness, perhaps complemented with about 5% Aluminium powder (everything by weight), now *that* mixture will burn rather nicely!

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 10:11 | 2764278 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Read history of Molotov, he's fucking bastard. With Ribbentrop split Poland and Czech, with Stalin, starve 4M Ukranians.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:09 | 2762109 Midas
Midas's picture

Michael--

Thanks for posting on EVERY topic.  I appreciate it.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:55 | 2762289 Michael
Michael's picture

Oh, you like Million Dollar Booger better?

How to stop a car – spike strips, electromagnetic pulses and the SQUID

http://blogs.howstuffworks.com/2009/03/18/how-to-stop-a-car-spike-strips-electromagnetic-pulses-and-the-squid/

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 02:04 | 2763487 i-dog
i-dog's picture

 

"Oh, you like Million Dollar Booger better?"

Get fucked! You've made 200 posts pimping for Obomber in just 2 weeks! MDB = just 30 [annoying] posts, on various topics, in the same period.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:19 | 2762426 Michael
Michael's picture

I'm willing to bid $50,000 on The Chair. Anybody know who owns it?

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:01 | 2762342 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

@davinci7,

 

1.....0, end game, point, set, and match, it is over

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:28 | 2762178 bdc63
bdc63's picture

hmmmm ... 3 questions:

 

1. anybody know what dealerships will be carrying them?

2. how much do you have to put down?

3. do a leather package and a navigation system cost extra?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 00:29 | 2763333 optimator
optimator's picture

Ask the salesman to use the rebate as your down payment and first chance have it checked for a locator device.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 23:46 | 2763248 X86BSD
X86BSD's picture

Thermite is easy as hell to make, and it burns through anything. Good luck when that coffin becomes imobile and some little guy hops up on the hatch with a bucket of homeade thermite and burns the enemies alive.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 06:40 | 2763725 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

but, as the video itself announces, this information may be inappropriate for some users.  the determination of that status is unclear.

http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Fv%3Dqq_l5KBliYI

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:32 | 2761961 redpill
redpill's picture

Which is precisely why you should take note when so-called defenders of the 2nd amendment are willing to acquiesce on limitations on assault weapon ownership and only advocate for us peasants to be able to own .22 pistols.

The uncomfortable squirming truth that the status quo hates to acknowledge is that the 2nd amendment does not exist for home defense or hunting.  It's in the Constitution so that the citizenry can overthrow the government if it violates the social contract.

 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:51 | 2762041 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

Protection from rogue governments and the totalitarian dynamic.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:54 | 2762055 Slewburger
Slewburger's picture

Notice the color choice, UN blue.... coincidence I'm sure.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:58 | 2762074 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

Good catch! I missed that.....

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:26 | 2762124 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

jew blue baby I <3 you...

~~~

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d4/Flag_of_Israel.svg

Here's prolly a look at the SWAT TEAM inside...

"Drones for law enforcement are being developed with the creation of the Talon SWAT/MP that can be configured with a multitude of weaponry. Some include a multi-shot TASER, LRAD, 40mm grenade launcher, and a 12-gage shotgun.

An earlier version of Talon, developed for the Israeli Defense Forces and the Israeli Ministry of Defense’s Directorate of Defense, was of the VIPeR series that were equipped with a 9 mm mini-Uzi with scope and pointer, or grenade launcher."

Shoot to Kill: Autonomous Robots Developed By DARPA Will Not Question Orders

http://www.activistpost.com/2012/09/shoot-to-kill-autonomous-robots.html

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:08 | 2762367 saturn
Tue, 09/04/2012 - 21:35 | 2762934 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

That color is named "Soothing Blue" so you know it's friendly.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:40 | 2761998 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

Chicago is gonna be PISSED. What do they have to do to crack the top 10??

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:51 | 2762036 mr1963
mr1963's picture

Go into Neighborhood Scout, change the search criteria to "Densly Urban" under setting. Three "Neighborhoods" in Chicago crack the top ten...

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:54 | 2762054 drink or die
drink or die's picture

Didn't they stop officially reporting their violent crime stats, which is why they aren't on most lists?

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:23 | 2762381 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

If you're not doing anything wrong*, there's no reason to worry and this is not a big deal. (/sarc)

 

*Wrong is a highly subjective word subject to change with or without a whimsical & arbitrary moment's notice.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:09 | 2762382 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

IEDs bitchz.  

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 07:11 | 2763765 Bogdog
Bogdog's picture

we have our eyes on you.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:23 | 2761930 hannah
hannah's picture

leave a plate of donuts in the street in front of this puppy, let the cops jump out to eat them, then steal it. works every time.

 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:11 | 2762116 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I've got a Groupon for that.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:40 | 2762244 Zeroexperience2010
Zeroexperience2010's picture

Yep, flat bottom, meaning no deflection of the blast from the driver cell, the britts took a long time to understand this in Afg.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 20:06 | 2762639 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Your iPhail UDID just got flagged by the FBI, and redistributed by AntiSec.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 20:08 | 2762642 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Are those tires holding AIR?  Naaawwwwww............

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 01:04 | 2763398 Andre
Andre's picture

Think again. That's an MRAP, looks like a Cougar.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MRAP

 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:23 | 2761923 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

This looks absolutely awesome. Only lame uptight libertarians would be upset that our government is purchasing such a cool new armoured vehicle. This truck looks perfect for breaking up crowds of nerdy libertarians whining about the “first amendment” or whiny war protestors crying about non-intervention. This is a smart purchase by our police force. I’m impressed. 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:24 | 2761935 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

Will it meet Obama's new MPG standards  ?

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:36 | 2761982 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

I uses 4 chevy volt power systems -- and goes 5 blocks on a charge.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:50 | 2762034 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I'm pretty sure this one is quoted in GPM vs. MPG.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 20:30 | 2762724 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

no, its still mpg=murders per gallon...

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:29 | 2762123 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

“The single message Chevrolet communicated this summer was ‘confidence’ and it rang true with customers when they saw how our product lineup is being transformed,” said Kurt McNeil, vice president of U.S. sales operations. “All four of our brands are building momentum behind new products so we’re very well positioned* as the economy continues to slowly improve.”

*GM's inventory increased from 663,439 on July 31, 2012 to 687,354 on August 31, 2012.

 

 

ADVERTISEMENT

__________________________________

There has never been a better time
to buy or lease a new GM!

Hurry now to your nearest GM dealer
before inventories increase even more!

2013 GM Yukon Denali AWD
403 HP
13 CTY / 18 HWY

Nicely equipped for only
$67,185

 

Tax, title, armor, run-flat tires, sheeple guards, and weapon ports additional.
E85 certified to run on mix of 15% people food , 85% MENA blood.
Guranteed to contain at least 12 cup holders.
On*Star tracking and cabin recording included free for 6 months,
then you pay to be tracked and recorded.
 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:13 | 2762401 saturn
saturn's picture

DebtBrOther = FraudBrOther

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:12 | 2761937 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Yes it does look absolutely spiffing MDB ...it's that ugly, oppressive thug behind every soft, pandering socialist mask isn't it?

"Hope & Change" everyone can believe in from the 'man of the people' socialist, Barry Bumma

dunno why socialists always end up as deranged thugs oppressing the people and wrecking economies that they're promising to bring the land of milk and honey to ...any ideas dipshit?

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:33 | 2762194 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

Except this has zero to do with socialism. This will be used in the war on drugs, at least initially.

The militarization of the police force, and the civil war that drug prohibition represents, is supported by republicans.

Republicans are Team SWAT. And democrats are no better.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 00:49 | 2763358 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

the "War on Drugs" has seen the slaughter of Govt forces every month of every year of every decade 

the slaughter of Govt forces is so complete the drugs industry even manages to provide their product in every 'high security' (cough) prison in America and Europe

if the Govt cannot secure their prisons from drugs they're smoking something way too strong to think they can control substances in wider society

Govt failure piles on top of Govt ineptness piles on top of Govt farce stretching back decades

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:26 | 2761938 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Prolly made in China............

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:28 | 2761951 fuu
fuu's picture

Douche.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:33 | 2762491 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

In the Philipines when Marcos minions came for their guns, many wrapped them up and buried them.  Of course, the Communist revolutionaries up in the mountains never turned theirs in and so remained a thorn in the side of the dictator.  

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:36 | 2761983 True.North
True.North's picture

Your name implies you work in finance, but there's no way you're with a serious institution, given the amount of time and effort you waste on rebutting Tyler.

On the article -- this spending is absolutely ridiculous. Fire the people who ordered this and return it. There are about 3 cities in this country that could justify this type of urban assault vehicle, and none of them are on this list.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 00:23 | 2763324 optimator
optimator's picture

If they wanted to save money they could probably get 50 used BTR 60 for the price of one of those, and they'd even have two more tires and room for more troo, er, cops.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:42 | 2762005 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

I am increasingly convinced that MDB is baiting. I see MDB guffawing over his beer. He neither espouses his beliefs nor has an agenda other than to raise hackles. He is nothing more or less than a comedian for his own enjoyment. In this particular case I am certain that on some level the deployment of this device horrifies him, even if it may also make him feel safer in some other senario.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 20:30 | 2762706 clymer
clymer's picture

<blink>How very perceptive of you</blink>

 

(friggin lack of html tags available makes it hard to make this more more annoying)

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 22:25 | 2763040 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

And that, my good friend, is why I don't bother reading 'it'.

 

When you see an MDB post, as soon as you recognize it:  Down arrow, scroll down to next comment.  Don't waste your time reading his crap.  What possible good can come from it? 

 

I've skipped over his last 20 or 30 posts, and my neurons thank me for it.

 

It's called trolling, and the whole purpose is to either jack the thread, or, as you observed, to serve 'it's' own twisted needs.  Why bother?

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 14:33 | 2765340 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

Lighten up, I find MDB funny. He's just funnin...

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:01 | 2762084 Dr. Kenneth Noi...
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture

Needs more whale penis leather.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 21:42 | 2762949 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The supple whale penis leather that the seats are trimmed with comes from whale brisks.

"Just the tip," so to speak.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:03 | 2762088 Zap Powerz
Zap Powerz's picture

I add an "/s" after reading your posts.

They become much more agreeable that way.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:15 | 2762131 SomebodySpecial
SomebodySpecial's picture

Only need a /s for those people who can't tell the difference...and there is plenty of us here on ZH.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:06 | 2762097 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Sarcasm a 9.5 out of 10 on the dripping scale.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 02:55 | 2763540 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Yeah douche...just like you smart purchase of Fuckbook.....you oughta be lovin the shit out of it at.....what's it now clown...17?

Keeeeeeep grabbing that fucking dagger.....

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:13 | 2762122 ChanceIs
ChanceIs's picture

You guys have it all wrong.  One quick look at the company's webpage shows that these puppies are manufactured in Chicago.  This is nothing but one last piece of pork before a new administration comes in.

As far as torching the things go - that was my first thought.  Everybody beat me to the punch.  I understand that at the battle of Kursk, the Russians found that the German Tiger Tank was especially vulnerable to a little gasoline thrown in the exhaust stacks.  You can stop bullets, but sooner or later the heat will come inside, then you have boiled frogs.  Those tires sure will burn fast and then you can't move.  Nah.  I wouldn't get in one of those.  Something with steel treads maybe.  Tanks can drive over parked cars.  I don't thinl that puppy can match up.

I noticed that the number 1 deployment spot was Arlington, VA.  I used to live there.  I am a little confused.  There are large immigrant pockets, but I don't think they would get too violent.  There is also massive welath.  I think this a case more of protecting wealth than maximizing capital goods against potential threats.  Stated differently, a misallocation of resources.  Of course it is an easy ride from Arlington into the city/White House. 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:30 | 2762192 midtowng
midtowng's picture

I want mine in red.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 20:22 | 2762693 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

As an indicator of the manly men deployed in these vehicles, they should all be painted in bright prancing pink.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:32 | 2762201 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

Too bad our OWN TROOPS in cesspools like Mogadishu didn't have vehicles like this one.  (sorry for the flashback...I watched Blackhawk Down a couple of weeks ago)

Now...if thugs in East LA decide to pull innocent people out of their cars to smash their heads with bricks, we'll see if the Periwinkle Patrol shows up.   If it does...I'll cheer for the calvary, but I'll bet we don't see it used in that situation.   We'll probably see it used to ram the wall out of a house of someone who's suspected of growing in excess of 20 grams of pot (i.e. creating competition for the drug cartels - which can't be allowed) or perhaps an elderly couple who refuses to leave their home after the debt masters lent them $160,000 for a place that was really worth $90,000.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:25 | 2762445 Obadiah
Obadiah's picture

Hey those are FORD superduty rearview mirrors.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 21:10 | 2762844 LongBalls
LongBalls's picture

The most disgusting part of this whole abortion is that the American citizens are paying for their own tryanny!

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 22:14 | 2763020 killallthefiat
killallthefiat's picture

I was reading on the Stamp Act today.  Americans would not tolerate laws/taxes back then that would only serve to increase their own servitude. 

 

Americans will punch you in the face if you look at them the wrong way, but will argue left vs. right if you take 1/3 of their money each week.  Boy, TPTB have done a number on us

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:14 | 2761873 NewWorldOrange
NewWorldOrange's picture

"vehicles that taxpayer dollars are buying in order to be more effectively suppressed as one after another pillar of this country's democracy are taken down."

this country's REPUBLIC are taken down

Democracy is alive and well in America, and serving the elites very well. It's a big part of the problem since most voters are idiots. At this point we'd be better off with a dictator, if the right guy. It could help. A continuation of the current "democracy" sure as hell won't. Most voters aren't waking up but getting stupider by the day.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:12 | 2761883 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Looks like a pork oven to me.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:18 | 2761911 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Is this an analogy?

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:21 | 2761922 Juan Wild
Juan Wild's picture

bbq time!

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:32 | 2761969 seek
seek's picture

I don't think so. I think he's refering to the fact that such vehicles succumb to gasoline (and/or thermite) pretty quickly.

Another way to look at it is how well do you thing one vehicle like this would fare in the middle of, say, the Rodney King riots in LA?

 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:39 | 2761994 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture

 

Good grief! It's just another car.

 

Nobody in the US establishment can think outside the 'Ford-Chevy-Chrysler' box. Gotta put gas in it and store it somewhere.

 

I'm sure some stupid rapper has already bought one ...

 

 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:56 | 2762060 greensnacks
greensnacks's picture

.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:08 | 2762103 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

By the look of the headlights I'd say it's a Ford Super Duty.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:54 | 2762035 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

I have a Cat D11 that says that blue thing will be the ducks nuts for cleaning off the dirty tracks.

Think "Pressed Ham"

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 20:49 | 2762747 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Oven?  Plug the holes and I'll turn it into a smoker.  Baby back ribs with dry rub Memphis style - MMMM....

or Texas Beef Brisket in a "perriwinkle-blue camper-van of enforced docility."

"Brisket is the national food of the Republic of Texas and a whole brisket is a great excuse for a party. A whole barbecue beef brisket is a huge clod of cow that can come off the pit almost black, looking more like a meteorite than a meal. But it is not burnt, and beneath the crust is the most tender, juicy, smoky meat. If you cook it right. And that's a BIG IF." - Meathead - http://www.amazingribs.com/recipes/beef/texas_brisket.html

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:13 | 2761886 mjorden
mjorden's picture

AH F*CK, I LIVE IN SAN ANTONIO.

 

 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:12 | 2762389 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

don't mess with Texas, eh.

As the Montgomery County Sheriff's Office gears up to employ an unmanned helicopter to hunt criminals and find missing persons, civil liberties advocates are concerned about the spy in the sky used for policing.

Chief Deputy Randy McDaniel of the sheriff's office said the $300,000 ShadowHawk drone - purchased from Vanguard Defense Industries with federal homeland security grant funds - will take to the air in the coming months to provide another tool in the law enforcement arsenal.

http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/Texas-civil-libertarians...

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 02:23 | 2763513 i-dog
i-dog's picture

 

"and find missing persons"

Ahhh ... finally, someone is about to go looking for Jon Corzine!

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:14 | 2761889 Darkness
Darkness's picture

Didn't Texas want to succeed from the union? Ironic how three are going to be "placed" there... 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:36 | 2761985 Rainman
Rainman's picture

and all the rest are headed to Compton

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:58 | 2762073 El Tuco
El Tuco's picture

They are going to need more than this piece of shit if they plan on using it in Texas.

Seriously, this peace of shit wouldn't survive 1 hour in Detroit without being stripped down to the frame and the occupants eaten alive.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 23:56 | 2763261 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

I grew up in the "D".

My brothers and I were some of the last white folk in history to swim in the Cooley High pool.

We would have this thing stripped and standing on Coke bottles, bunch of gang shit written on the sides ... before someone came and hauled it away for scrap. I know some Chaldean dudes with a massive scrap yard / chop shop in the city.

Monster Hakim's Truck and Tow.

They would make quick work of this.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 22:06 | 2763002 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

Texas already 'succeeds' compared to the Union, now if we'll just up and secede like we promised...

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:14 | 2761890 Cheyenne
Cheyenne's picture

That's nothing. Check out at Tampa's plebe-crusher:

http://www.homelandsecuritynewswire.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/s...

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:14 | 2761891 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Won't work against a mob of pitchfork and rope carrying angry Americans.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:44 | 2762264 Dugald
Dugald's picture

First problem.....

        You don't have enough angry Americans.....!

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:43 | 2762541 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

just wait.... a bit.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 00:23 | 2763297 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

 

You can help the process along, AND perhaps help make a conservative voter here and there in the process.

How?

Well, if you are a business owner,

FIRE EVERY FUCKING LIBERAL / SOCIALIST IN YOUR COMPANY.  

Put Them All Out to Pasture. Every single one. On The street.

Make Them Live By The Policies and Politicians They Support.

Make up some bullshit (can't afford them any longer) but get them out.

Spend a week arriving early. Park to the side and wait for the Obama decals to drive past. Note who gets out. Make a list.

Chances are good they are worthless pieces of shit not accomplishing much except sucking the system dry anyhow.

When enough liberals are without work and their lives are even more miserable then they are now, you will see change.

[LATE ADDITION: Then hire conservatives. They will bust their asses, are likely well educated and will take a sense of pride in their job.]

 

 

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 02:31 | 2763518 i-dog
i-dog's picture

Reminds of when my brother would get on the PA in his business and announce: "Attention all non-smokers! A smoker is about to light up, so would all non-smokers kindly leave the building and assemble in the courtyard."

Ahhh ... the good old days....

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 06:27 | 2763710 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

First problem.....

You don't have enough angry Americans.....!

----------------------

That's for sure. It would take a lot of 'Americans' to take down that car. A lot of them.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:14 | 2761894 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

The DHS Lezbo Hit Squad bought over 1 billion rounds of ammunition.  All kinds of calibers, too: .40, .45, 12G, .556, you name it. They're certainly preparing for something, the fight into which they've been trying to push us for quite some time is only part of the picture.  I would venture they'll also be funnelling some of this ammo to their Al Qeada buddies in Syria, or wherever else their phony, CIA fueled middle east revolutions end up next. Chances are there's 7.62x39 ammo in there to feed all those AKs.

If the fight happens here, hopefully Police and Military will refuse to go along with it--aside from the ones who thought Fallujah was "bad fucking ass"--it'll be a nasty, terrible, crippling mess.  All of this brought on by banker tyranny, the swelling, bloated, vampiritic ponzi pyramid, and the crazy control freaks so entirely sold out to the system that they're absolutely, hoplessly, insane.

Maybe some of that ammo is earmarked for the civilian brown shirt force Obama wanted that'll be "just as powerful, just as strong" as the US Military.  In my opinion, this asshat has no intention of relinquishing command.  Election fraud, false flag terror, whatever means neccessary to achieve the goal. They're not above staging a fake attack on a shopping mall, a Gymboree, even the man himself in order to blame it on gun owners and white people in order to light off a nice, fat, bloody conflict while store shelves go barren and fat EBT card wasteoids actually have to move their bodies in order to survive.

If I'm wrong and Romney is inserted into the Captain's chair, most of the Fox News crowd will go back to sleep, think the NDAA and TSA are A-Okay, and they'll stand down, return to hating The Scary Turban People, and slap a bunch of useless slave labour-built shit on their credit cards.

Maybe I'll run down to DHS Motors and grab one of these for myself. Maybe you should too.  They like having their little control freak monopoly of force.  Might have to prove them wrong one of these days.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:30 | 2761958 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Shot a Mosin Nagant (made in 1931) last weekend that used 7.62 X54R surplus ammo (Czech?). The 147 grain stuff penetrated 3/8 inch steel plating. I was amazed.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:48 | 2762017 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

the only thing you need to stop this metal turkey is some breeze blocks at all 4 corner tyres

cue frozen turkey

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:54 | 2762052 DosZap
DosZap's picture

In my opinion, this asshat has no intention of relinquishing command. Election fraud, false flag terror, whatever means neccessary to achieve the goal.

IT would have to be HUGE, as the Military boots are against him.

And more and more are finally getting home..................and speaking out.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:35 | 2762216 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

We've seen that show before. Doesn't really matter which dummy they use when the puppemaster speaks. Different voice, same writer.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:14 | 2762128 bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

All that ammo is useles if the order to fire it on American citizens is not obeyed. And it would not be. It's what makes us so different and safer than the tyrannical socialist societies of Europe.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:37 | 2762231 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

Tell that to the "shoot into the crowd and maybe we can hit the perp too" NYPD.

I don't expect much backbone out of most of our military or our militarized police, anymore than I expect it from the rest of us. Just do what you're told and nobody important will get hurt.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:53 | 2762305 ersatzteil
ersatzteil's picture

You saaaay that, but historically...not the case. McArthur and Patton cleared out a big protest of WW1 vets and their families in the 20's; Germans, Japanese and Italians were dumped in concentration camps in the early 40's...and then isolated insidents like the Kent State shooting...

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 06:31 | 2763714 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

The Police, the Military, the Justice are all middle class institutions in 'American' societies.

In 'American' class warfare, the middle class has been using the lower class as a stepping stone.

The Police in 'American' nations do not share a tear when shooting on poors to keep them where they belong.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 19:55 | 2762601 centerline
centerline's picture

There was 7.62x39 in the order.  That was one thing of the first things that caught my eye.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:15 | 2761896 Chrome Child
Chrome Child's picture

"o'er the Laaaand of the locked; and the hoooome of the incaaaaaarcerated..."

*crowd applause

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:16 | 2761897 tnfcfa
tnfcfa's picture

Yet it looks like it would get a flat if it ran over a nail.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:38 | 2761992 Dapper Dan
Dapper Dan's picture

yes and most rifle ammo will take out the front or rear differential. dont go for the tires!

paint ball the windows first, paint balls filled with grease works good.

 

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=truck+differential+covers&id=E8ACAB2B7CD5E067B2A7D0E61D4631E0E46B0422&FORM=IQFRBA

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:51 | 2762043 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Guerilla warfare Bitchez!

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:15 | 2761898 FiatGold
FiatGold's picture

Thanks the lord our troops have all that urban combat experience to max the utility out of the vehicle. Make's sense when there are hollow points on order.  Good for the NYC cops so they keep on their bellies and not have to run the perp down. DHS will have to get their order in for 350 million, that way there is one for every american.

Om a more serious note, is it really conspiracy, or just the result of war tech being rehashed as civilian police products.  

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:40 | 2762001 viahj
viahj's picture

with Obama gearing down the foreign wars, they are just opening up new sales channels for MIC equip.  why not?  if we're going to have an economic recovery, we have the extra money to burn.

/sarc

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:46 | 2762268 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

Without Defense Welfare, the national economy would grind to a halt. The U.S. is famous for building military equipment that's completely impractical and often unworkable, at the cost of billion$ per unit.

This is just more example of the change from an extroverted war machine to an introverted war machine.

Most of this stuff will never be called upon for actual duty, but merely for parades, TV shows and pictures in magazines and websites. And on those occasions when some numbnuts actually tries to use it, it will fail dramatically and embarrassingly.

But it allows lots of people in lots of congressional districts to have government entitled jobs. People who would otherwise be unemployable by normal companies creating actual things that people in the real economy might desire.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 20:30 | 2762723 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

"Most of this stuff will never be called upon for actual duty, but merely for parades,"

Right, and these parades will be on May 1st!

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:16 | 2761899 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

What are those two pipes sticking out the front on the driver's side?

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:19 | 2761909 youngman
youngman's picture

Donut Holders....

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:56 | 2762067 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Each holds a Dunkin' Dozen.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:28 | 2761948 stiler
stiler's picture

those are for spreading the joy.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:30 | 2761959 fuu
fuu's picture

They look like door rams, you can see the handles.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:35 | 2761975 10mm
10mm's picture

For your surf poles.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:43 | 2762010 hannah
hannah's picture

'serf' poles more like it...

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:55 | 2762058 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

the 2 pipes are tear-gas launchers

no worries, stand on the roof and pour a cocktail of superglue (freezes windscreen wipers) and paint (blinds the porkies) onto the windscreen

meanwhile your mate appears with fake handgrenades at the front of said vehicle and 2 seconds before you pour the blackout cocktail mix he waves them at the driver and lodges them in the pipes

you now have a blind pig that won't shoot its bacon

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 21:19 | 2762874 jumbo maverick
jumbo maverick's picture

You could find out how long and wide the tailpipe is from manufacturers literature. Make a wooden rod similar to an old civil war ramrod. At one end you wire tie a couple t shirts and put grease all over the shirts.
Get behind that truck, slam the ramrod in all the way and kick the end of it with your boot as far up into the tailpipe as you can.

In a little bit the truck won't go anywhere and it has to be abandoned.

This is a $2 solution to disable a several thousand dollar heavy vehicle.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:53 | 2762047 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Those are t-shirt launchers...you really need to get out to more sporting events.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:16 | 2761901 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Still doesn't come close to the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle that francis_sawyer cruises around in...

~~~

http://www.cloudster.com/sets&vehicles/Stripes/UrbanAssaultVehicleTop.htm

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:17 | 2761902 fuu
fuu's picture

"OMG the quarterback is toast!"

Nothing on their site mentions how it handles fire.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:17 | 2761905 BandGap
BandGap's picture

OK, Fruitport, Michigan should not be on anyone's list and I have no idea why it is on this one. Unless they are going to suppress rioting blueberry and celery farmers that has to be a glitch.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:18 | 2761908 ShankyS
ShankyS's picture

Armored pillboxes, just what we need to restore the calm. the more the better, right? This place is well on its way to FUBAR if not there already. 

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:44 | 2761991 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Potato tailpipe does not work. http://community.discovery.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/7501919888/m/631190483...

Looks vulnerable to blinding with oil paint water balloons or christmas ornaments though. And as you say, the cocktails.  And if it ran over a bunch of barbed wire and got that tangled in the suspension, should immobilize it.  Four gun ports left side, same right side and 2 rear, so not defenseless. Immobilize and it would need to dismount or call for backup.

To launch water balloons from a distance: cut off the bottom of a clorox bottle, attach surgical tubing left and right, pull back on the handle and scan your sector.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 18:49 | 2762290 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

XitSam said:

Potato tailpipe does not work.

http://community.discovery.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/7501919888/m/63119048301

True, but potatoes in the tailpipe (like four or five of them) can work.

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/769/if-you-shove-a-potato-in-a-...

Also, if you're doing this as a prank, try this helpful hint: prepare the potatoes ahead of time using a long spike nail to bore a hole through the center of each potato lengthwise. When done correctly, this will create sufficient back pressure to cause the engine to run roughly and eventually stall. The small hole through the potatoes will allow the pressure to dissipate eventually, allowing the car to be started again and renewing the cycle of merriment.

Looks vulnerable to blinding with oil paint water balloons or christmas ornaments though.

Another alternative to achieve the same effect would be small glass jars filled with gorilla glue, hurled with sufficient force to break the jars against the vehicle glass.

Wed, 09/05/2012 - 02:57 | 2763542 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Just park cars arounds it and they cant open the doors.....all on a hot summer day ;-)

Fri, 09/21/2012 - 13:48 | 2818637 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Late I know, but there's a top hatch.  But props for thinking outside of the box.

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:52 | 2761913 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

This is so stupid, even if the stated purpose for an armored vehicle is to fight off the zombies.   

To give you an example of putting-guns-in-the-provinces, in 1962, as part of the pacification program in Vietnam, the US and its corrupt minions in Saigon armed the countryside provincial militas with M-16's and other arms.   

The VC found that raiding, or, easier, buying those guns, from the militia, was much less of a hassel than ordering them from Amazon.com in Hanoi, and waiting weeks for the guns to be carried south.    Putting weapons in the countryside in a civil disturbance pours kerosene on a bonfire.    

So in the revolution, the po'd locals go to the polizi armory and ask their brother-in-law where the keys are.   At the end of a shotgun.  

Tue, 09/04/2012 - 17:25 | 2761914 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

Wow, Thats a nice truck. That color is simply gorgeous. Who makes that behemoth?

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