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Zero Bonuses At Goldman?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In what is certainly a clear sign of the apocalypse, at least for Wall Streeters, there is now speculation that the holiest of holys, none other than Golman Sachs, may be planning to no bonuses this year following a third quarter which now everyone expects will be the worst for the company in recent history (which is to be expected with the firm's prop trading operation several crippled, although still marginally operational in various other guises). According to The Australian: "Goldman Sachs is planning to slash bonuses to almost zero amid growing expectations that the Wall Street bank is about to slide into the red for only the second time in its history. The market meltdown that began in August has hammered the revenues of all the big global investment banks. Analysts have been slashing their forecasts for Goldman's third-quarter results, due on October 18, with most now expecting it to report a loss." And don't tell Morgan Stanley this but... " Morgan Stanley, its closest rival, could also fall into the red." This means no mas dinero at Times Square-o either. Yet this is nothing compared to the media reaction when mainstream journalism figures out just how many partners and MDs at both Goldman and MS are underwater on loans they have taken out from the company itself in exchange for unvested stock struck at prices anywhere between 50 and 100% higher. Oops.

More:

Goldman's senior executives are determined to prove that the bank can continue to generate bigger returns for shareholders, despite the market turmoil.

 

They have made an internal commitment to ensure that no more than 35 per cent to 45 per cent of its revenue is paid to staff -- a lower proportion than any other Wall Street bank. The ratio of staff pay to turnover is the key metric used by analysts to determine the efficiency of an investment bank.

Cutting bonuses to the bone is one of the few tools that Goldman can use to keep the ratio under control. It has already cut salaries for its London partners and is also cutting thousands of jobs.However, its third-quarter revenues are expected to have fallen by about half compared with the second quarter, putting the ratio under pressure.

Big salaries were offered to tempt bankers to join firms such as Nomura and Barclays Capital, meaning they are now lumbered with higher fixed costs.

And if you thought #ccupyWallStreet was bad, wait until Wall Street's chief (i.e. always wrong) economists hit Detroit in #OccupyMainStreet: the natural response from Wall Street which will be clueless how to live without a 7 figure bonuses for being perpetually wrong on what America's GDP will be this or even last year.

 

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Mon, 10/03/2011 - 09:56 | 1732856 bania
bania's picture

donut holes for you!

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:20 | 1732967 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

Naturally, at Goldman "almost zero" means "still more than you make in a year".

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:25 | 1732989 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

occupy wall street is being hijacked by communists

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:31 | 1733006 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

Who cares? Any protest is better than no protest. Let the system fail. Fight for liberty, freedom, and self-governance.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 11:24 | 1733161 AchtungAffen
AchtungAffen's picture

Communists in the US? Ha! Don't make my ass laugh! You still see the hammer and sickle even on the soup? If only the US had communists, at least they would balance out the crazy right.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 09:57 | 1732861 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

ROTFLMAO at you criminals.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:30 | 1733004 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

It gets interesting when Cuomo and Bloomberg have a meeting with them to demand that they pay out huge bonuses.

The tax revenue on those bonuses are all that hold NYC and NY state budgets together.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 09:57 | 1732862 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

It's true, just confirmed. However, all employees get a complimentary 1000 troy oz gold door stopper so it all depends on how you look at it...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:03 | 1732885 Slartebartfast
Slartebartfast's picture

If and only IF they can get GLD to deliver physical.

Good luck with that boys!

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:21 | 1732969 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

Being a squid and all, they alot up their multiple sleeves.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:00 | 1732867 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

no wonder...loads of these rats are leaving GS in droves!!

Am wondering if they bargained for a joining bonus at their new jobs...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:21 | 1732975 ljag
ljag's picture

Wait a second! I thought big bonuses were essential to 'keep the best and the brightest'?

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:43 | 1733057 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

But if you promise even bigger profits...they will give you joining bonus....

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 11:39 | 1733210 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I'm wondering how much this is directed at 'keeping the best and brightest' out of jail before an election year?

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 09:59 | 1732868 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Goldman Sachs is planning to slash bonuses to almost zero...

"Almost" FTMFW!!!!!!!

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:13 | 1732924 junkyardjack
junkyardjack's picture

$35 billion is almost zero for Wall Street

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:45 | 1733045 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Didn't Liesman almost quit fucking chickens?

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 09:59 | 1732869 tim73
tim73's picture

Ha ha...New York City will be soon like Detroit except Detroit will be better off. They still manufacture something other than BS. Back to the 70's...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:36 | 1733031 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

Back to the 70's...heehee, good thing I saved all those disco records.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 09:59 | 1732870 Blorf
Blorf's picture

Executives vow to prop up stock price at expense of bonuses?  Didn't Tyler say that many of the executives took out loans against their stock/warrants when it was in the 160s?  I guess they are just eating their own now.

They should just keep looting the shareholders and take it private at 50 bucks.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:00 | 1732876 b_thunder
b_thunder's picture

Poll:  What comes next

A) TARP 2.0

B) QE 3

C) Both

 

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:03 | 1732884 mjk0259
mjk0259's picture

Both - followed by QE4 QE5 and TARP 3.0 and TARP4.0 plus Euro TARP and then Asia TARP - to be paid for by eliminating Social Security and Medicaid and compulsory "community service" from everyone.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:01 | 1732877 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

To Little, too fucking late..

I want their heads, ALL OF THEM!

Nothing less than Blood will undo what has been done.

 

POMO is the Bonus that just keeps on giving transaction fees.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 11:13 | 1733121 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

MSNBC's Dylan Ratigan on The Federal Reserve, Media Censorship, Bilderberg @ #occupywallstreet

Uploaded by on Oct 3, 2011

It's Time to GET MONEY OUT of politics. Learn more at http://www.getmoneyout.com/

Help We Are Change produce more videos like this and continue our coverage of #occupywallstreet http://www.wearechange.org/?page_id=9453

http://www.facebook.com/LukeWeAreChange
http://www.twitter.com/LukeRudkowski
http://www.WeAreChange.org

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDj52mNaUVg

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 11:23 | 1733155 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

for those of you that will not take the time to watch this..

I will say that "IF?" Dylan is real.. and not a band aide..

and he keeps pushing his agenda / amendment.. he will be having a car accident, mugging and / or heart attack and most likely all at the same time.

that is how good his idea is for us, the People.

 

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:04 | 1732888 SAME AS IT EVER WAS
SAME AS IT EVER WAS's picture

WTF? no bonus? no more money to steal? how can this be?

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:39 | 1733042 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

If you don't get a bonus for doing God's work then nobody should.  It's just being fair.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:05 | 1732889 snowball777
snowball777's picture

Good start, but we want handcuffs and hard jailtime.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:05 | 1732890 reader2010
reader2010's picture

Fuck em. Jubilee!

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:06 | 1732892 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Damn, you know shit is about to hit the fan when God doesn't pay his employees enough.  /sarc

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:08 | 1732904 lapedochild
lapedochild's picture

exactly... this is pure blasphemy!

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:06 | 1732894 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

ISM came out and we were almost green :))) me think every upward move, WILL BE SOLD!

On GS, would not surprise me to see Ukranin Hockers having a "discount day", for old times sake :)))!

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:06 | 1732895 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

I think they should receive death sentences instead

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:18 | 1732954 snowball777
snowball777's picture

They should be sentenced to cleaning every truckstop restroom in America until death...with their tongues.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:21 | 1732968 Esso
Esso's picture

Don't forget their families.

Nits make lice.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:51 | 1733081 flattrader
flattrader's picture

Yes, we must think of the children.

Won't someone think of the children?

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:07 | 1732896 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

hank paulson got three quarters of a billion tax free bitchez. they should give up bank holding company status, take the company private, and freaking prop trade 'til they drop. What's that you say? They can't do that? Oh, I see...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:07 | 1732897 tim73
tim73's picture

These traditional stock markets really do not offer anything meaningful for companies anymore. IPO costs a fortune and all those laws and rules are ridicilous to follow, needing an army of lawyers AND accountants. Usually from one of the awfully expensive big fours which together wrote those stupid laws in the first place. Good for them, bad for everybody else. 

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:07 | 1732898 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

Couldn’t happen to a less deserving bunch.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:08 | 1732899 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

But, but, how can this be?   I mean, aren't they manipulating everything and always on the right side of the trade?    LOL

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:12 | 1732917 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Yes, they are. when they lose they become a bank holding company. privatize gains, socialize losses.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:20 | 1732963 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

I agree,  the incestuous wall street/washington relationship has got to go.    But when I read some of the TPTB comments, I just LOL.    Without the deliberate and direct collusion with government (who are supposed to represent OUR interest), "TPTB" couldn't find their ass with their two hands either...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:08 | 1732900 DeadOnArrival
DeadOnArrival's picture

I'm curious to know what Bernie Madoff is thinking about all this.  We can only hope that very soon he'll have more bankster buddies coming over for more than just a visit!

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 17:58 | 1734801 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Bernie on Lloyd:

"And they call me a fucking crook..."

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:08 | 1732903 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

What?  No perp walk for GS yet?

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:08 | 1732905 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

You can tell the "expert network" takedown closed off a lot of leaks.  All the big cheaters have been blowing up without their leak pipeline.  Soros, GS, Pimpco, JPM, total suckage without inside knowledge of Fed actions.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:09 | 1732908 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

 

 

Why don't they just fire the working staff and transfer their salaries to the bonusses of the traders?

It's pretty easy:

1. Wait untill it's friday

2. Delete all access card to the building on saturday

3. Take a 2 week vacation to let the dust settle down

4. COLLECT BONUSSES!!!!

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:11 | 1732915 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Sudden Debt,
Brilliant! And very funny!

DavidC

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:09 | 1732909 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Residential fire sales coming to the Hamptons. Pigmen caravans migrating to the West. Glorious news. 

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:09 | 1732911 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Hurrah!

DavidC

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:09 | 1732912 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

So...  is this a CYA ploy to cater to populist sentiment (e.g. Bill Gross' letters) or is this the derivative of spinning plates finally losing their battle with gravity and human ability?

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:25 | 1732993 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

From a Human Capital perspective, they have created hungry beasts over there with a raging sense of entitlement, they will see more whistleblowers and employees turning on managment if they stay this course. Don't forget, the first corporate culture bomb was dropped when they started allowing and encouraging their employees to carry concealed firearms in and out of the workplace.

This tells me they have a reactionary policy towards their people and this is not going to bode well in a down or uncertain economic environment. 

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 17:56 | 1734795 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

+1... A profound and analytical question MachoMan...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:12 | 1732918 cocoablini
cocoablini's picture

Jibes with Reggies premise that Goldman is not as good at trading as everyone thinks. They trade well when they frontrun with QE but not so well when playing the casino tables like everyone else.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:13 | 1732921 Michael66
Michael66's picture

What are the Wall Street coke dealers to do?

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:16 | 1732940 tim73
tim73's picture

They go old school, start selling crack and Mac-10s...

Mon, 03/05/2012 - 08:35 | 2223514 l.hauri
l.hauri's picture

seems to be a good news. I will follow your tips.sailing yacht charter

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:13 | 1732922 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Never underestimate investment bankers' ability to pay themselves.  I'll believe it when I see it.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:16 | 1732938 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

there must be more loan loss reserves somewhere.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:14 | 1732928 tim73
tim73's picture

Since they are doing God's important work, I assume they will continue working for free :)

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:18 | 1732948 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

work, i don't think that word means what you think it means. [/inigo montoya]

 

i believe "gamble" is the proper term.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 18:02 | 1734788 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

I believe tax payer welfare ho is the proper term...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:16 | 1732941 nobusiness
nobusiness's picture

Wouldn't be suprised if Goldman went private.  could result in a 50% uptick in managements stock options and restricted stock all financed by private equity or some stupid bank.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:17 | 1732946 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Stop THis Madness!! No, THIS is where I draw the line! No bonuses at Goldman??

If that happens then we may as well all register with the Communist Party and get it over with quickly. 

No more "Greed is Good"? For a lack of a better word....

 

Bye, Bye Miss American Pie

 

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:18 | 1732955 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

this is the beginning of the decoupling from financials, the very beginning, something tells me Morgan Stanley, BAC, Shitigroup will follow their lead

hopefully prison time will follow

 

 

Fri, 03/09/2012 - 05:38 | 2238959 l.hauri
l.hauri's picture

it is true what you said. I have the same opinion. Maybe we will see updates.
timeshare for sale

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:18 | 1732958 monopoly
monopoly's picture

This is like a 3 ring circus. You never know what the next act will be like. We are green because, slightly oversold. It is the close that counts.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:21 | 1732973 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

Tyler , how does that work with the employee loans? The employee is on the hook or will it be a back door bonus if the employer swallows it.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:26 | 1732994 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

Do a Factiva search for just this topic back in late 2008, when GS plunged and partners and MDs were panicking they would have to file bankruptcy.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:22 | 1732979 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

i dont believe it..it wont happen..can't .Gsux is an economic money engine. itsa TBTF

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:23 | 1732981 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Mike Bloomberg says they make less than $40 grand.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 17:50 | 1734772 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

+1 willb7...

Bloomberg is a bankster bitch or he would not have installed himself as the term-limit-less Pope of New York City...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:25 | 1732988 PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture

Don't beleive everything yrou hear/read. Thi syear will be another record high bonus year.....

Yachts need refurbishing...

BMWs need replacing...

Mistresses' condos need remodeling..

and so on.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 17:51 | 1734782 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Cocaine and Russian hookers need to be imported...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:25 | 1732990 Lmo Mutton
Lmo Mutton's picture

What is that phrase about "il-begotten gains"?

You would be better off defying gravity.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:31 | 1733010 duckhook
duckhook's picture

This is jusy the end of the beginning  of a huge negative wealth effect.New York City area real estate will be decimated as will all high end stores,restaurants and golf clubs.

Added to the city's current finacial problems,we will have a redux of the mid 1970's,when NYC was almost bankrupt,but this time there will be a real bankruptcy or the equivalent.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:34 | 1733024 Tuco Benedicto ...
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez's picture

"Sachs is planning to slash bonuses to almost zero..."

 

Just depends on what your definition of "almost" is. 

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:40 | 1733049 oldmanofthesee
oldmanofthesee's picture

Somehow, or another, enuf tax dollars will materialize, to restore the squid's bonuses. No banker will ever be punished by any government official, the incestuous nature doesn't allow it. Oh yeah, a little eyewash for us, but nothing meaningful. We have always been screwed, and will always be screwed.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 17:47 | 1734755 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

+1 oldman...

Bullshit Barry's only economic policy:

"No Bankster Left Behind"

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:47 | 1733069 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

I've traded the Cramer-contrarian with some success in the past (MS CDS Soars As Cramer Says "Morgan Stanley Is Fine"), but in his defense he did make a prediction on the financial services firms on CNBC a couple of weeks back that isn't far off the mark from this article, saying that a very tough year was leading up to layoffs and that it might be a materially-negative contributor to unemployment stats in the fourth quarter.  We'll see (or maybe not).  And not that predicting trouble in the financial services sector was all that prophetic.  But it would be interesting to learn who gets the largest bonus at GS - those who are still employed, or those who get shown the door.  After all, HP's ousted CEO got a $13M severance while Whitman negotiated a $1M salary, notwithstanding incentives.  Maybe ZH can sleuth out the bonus details for a follow-up?

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:49 | 1733078 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

Bonuses are best kept inconspicuous when you expect a blow up and don't want to take the blame.  Who us?  We didn't even get a bonus this year.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:55 | 1733088 j0nx
j0nx's picture

But but how will they keep their best and brightest? They will leave for green pastures if they take away their bonuses...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 13:48 | 1733816 Reform1776
Reform1776's picture

Yes retaining all that "Top Talent" blindly investing OPM in the latest MOMO Ponzi does not come cheap!

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 11:48 | 1733205 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Bonuses will happen...we don't want these incredibly valuable employees going to Spanish or Portugese banks do we?  The bonuses will happen for 'competitive' reasons. 

This was the same logic that kept them from going to jail in 2009...still vomit in my mouth at the logic of 'Only the people that got us into this mess, can get us out.  We have to retain them and pay them so they don't go elsewhere.'  yack.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 11:39 | 1733212 Rentier
Rentier's picture

Best part is there will be no "oh, no bonus well then I'll just quit and go work for someone who does." for these scum working at Goldman, since there is no other jobs to go to...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 11:45 | 1733253 Joe Sixpack
Joe Sixpack's picture

Now you understand why they were giving themselves obscene bonuses in 2008-2010!

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 12:18 | 1733410 bill1102inf
bill1102inf's picture

they already were paid their bonuses

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 12:28 | 1733454 medicalstudent
medicalstudent's picture

"does that name mean they have all the gold?" - ron paul

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 13:46 | 1733806 Reform1776
Reform1776's picture

>>Zero Bonuses At Goldman?

Great, now they will be pouring into the street joining the protests!!!

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 17:43 | 1734738 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Wall Street's Plan: "Bail Out My Bonus!"
I think Goldman should fire Blank-dick-fein... as clearly the buck stops at the CEO and Charley Munger does say to "suck it up"...

The Pitfalls of Crony Capitalism
After all Timmah Jeethner's Aunt Lloyd is turning out to be the Glodmanite version of Citi's Robert "The Rube" Rubinite... another pathetic loser that always fails upward thanks to tax payer bailouts...

How 'bout Some Madoff Time for Jamie & Lloyd
Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of tax payer welfare suckin' ho's...

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 19:37 | 1735098 oogs66
oogs66's picture

is it good the crooks won't make millions ripping people off and there is more for shareholders or without getting paid millions to rip people off will there be no money for shareholders?

Tue, 10/04/2011 - 00:57 | 1736057 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

For every one Goldman MD, 100 peasant families starve.

For every partner, 1000 families.

Bullish for the poor and starving, shame on the $787b examples of diddling the public treasury and blackmail.

Hopefully gone are the two page extortion rackets dripping with former GS employees.

Wed, 10/12/2011 - 15:50 | 1766923 karmete
karmete's picture

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