Zuckerberg Speaks (Finally) - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Prepare for an onslaught of social media buzzwords: we will have a word cloud after the speech. That said, here is a suggestion: less "disrupt" ... more "cash flow"

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Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:12 | 2783187 rfaze
rfaze's picture

Zuckerberg handles himself like a child...... 

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:15 | 2783196 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

zucky is nothen but a bag of tools

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:16 | 2783201 ACP
ACP's picture

That's funny, all I hear out of his mouth is a bunch of pops and buzzes.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:21 | 2783214 veyron
veyron's picture

I for one am glad to see what happened with the FB IPO ... I think it exposed a lot of the corruption behind the IPO process, and seeing the lack of "retail" participation put a smile on my face.

 

... and now my friends are talking about how CNBC does a disservice to the world :)

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:01 | 2783334 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

We'll see how good FaceBerg does going down the line as another 63% of shares are coming before year end.

Thats 1.637 BILLION SHARES

FACEBOOK LOCK-UP RELEASES:

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:24 | 2783391 Aziz
Aziz's picture

November 13th. What a day that's going to be.

 

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:21 | 2783384 frenzic
frenzic's picture

Good for them. It took them long enough though and now they are off to bask in some other MSM beacon of disinformation. Got to have that watercooler talk ready, got to fit in. Winning. Insert official ZH tag here.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:47 | 2783605 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

That fucking prick Kernan said this morning that "nobody at this station said FaceFuck was a buy". What a fucking liar. Cramer, Faber, that moronic Simon Hobbs jackoff were all jacking off on air the day of the IPO

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:23 | 2783219 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Zuckerberg has a brand new strategy to monetize the activities of the users of its free service and the users of the free services (e.g. instagram) that it is acquiring at pets.com circa-1999 valuation models.

All those Facebookers will be cash cows soon...each and every one of them.

The solution will be make up the non-monetization of users (and maybe negative-monetization soon given advertising trends) on growing volume.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:18 | 2783206 r00t61
r00t61's picture

He needs to spend some of his IPO money on a better teleprompter.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:27 | 2783229 Renewable Life
Renewable Life's picture

It's amazing how pathetic they all look compared to Steve Jobs!! Now there was a man who knew how to work a room and deliver a product!!! The rest of these dorks look like idiots!!

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:43 | 2783264 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

To be fair It is a lot easier when you actually have a product to deliver............

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:09 | 2783348 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

And to think I was on the verge of patenting and selling jars full of air. Everyone needs air to live just like food right? Should make a fortune...

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:15 | 2783371 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

You do realize that there are literally tens of millions of absolutely stupid dipshits that would buy such a product.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:25 | 2783394 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

I think Dave Berry said, 20 years ago if you told someone people would be making tons of money off bottled water, you'd just spray them with your garden hose and tell them to get off your lawn...and most of it isn't as good as most city water anyway, which in turn isn't as good as the artesian spring in my backyard, which no, I won't sell the water from.  Bitchez.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:27 | 2783403 frenzic
frenzic's picture

Bottled water comes to mind.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:47 | 2783562 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Pre-cut & washed salad in a bag has made billions for its founder.

Pre-mixed & flavored liquor in a bag is now showing monster growth.

 

Both these products sell at about a 600% price premium to the sum total of their ingredients (the automated equipment that shreds the lettuce and mixes the beverages must be quite expensive).

There's no possibility of underestimating the stupidity of the American Consumer.

Go forth and make it rain, bitchez.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 23:34 | 2784148 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

@beam me up scotty

You aren't aware of Marcel Duchamp's "Paris Air"?? I'm certain William Banzai is.

http://www.toutfait.com/unmaking_the_museum/Paris%20Air.html

 

I don't trust amyone (with my money) born after 1955 and you shouldn't either.

 

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:30 | 2783239 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

This guy is a complete flop as a CEO.

 

http://jamesturkblog.blogspot.ca/

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:40 | 2783255 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Chief executive orifice?

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:32 | 2783561 Optimusprime
Optimusprime's picture

Schmuckerberg????

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:13 | 2783192 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Monitize mobile.... Good luck with that Mark. Hahahaha

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:22 | 2783222 Daily Bail
Daily Bail's picture

Weil Says Faceplant Won't Go Below $4 Per Share

Expiring lock-ups are a bitch.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:15 | 2783197 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Pfft...  D'Italia putaz!  Non-shareholder Bearing could care less what happens to zuck.com...

Domani andiamo a Bari!  (on vacation in Italy)

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:33 | 2783424 piceridu
piceridu's picture

c'è l'ho parenti a Bari...buon viaggio

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 20:20 | 2783700 Cazzi amari
Cazzi amari's picture

Salento! .... ah...enjoy lu mare lu sule lu ientu

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:19 | 2783209 Mongo
Mongo's picture

Here is the sumary for word cloud ... "mobile mobile.. uhm.. mobile mobile... "

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:20 | 2783213 cdude
cdude's picture

Friend THIS!

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:45 | 2783277 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Convert or die, Bitchez...........  -"Uncle" Mitt Obameny-

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:50 | 2783591 Mary Wilbur
Mary Wilbur's picture

This is the funniest thing I've heard in a week. Thank you.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:27 | 2783226 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

<----Like

<----Dislike

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:29 | 2783236 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

please don't put his ugly mug on the blog.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:33 | 2783243 yogibear
yogibear's picture

 Wall Street's  poster child. Morgan bet a lot on facefart. 

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:35 | 2783246 juwes
juwes's picture

"We have 235 million people playing games monthly.  OK, that's real."

 

 

If playing video games is real, what's fake?

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:38 | 2783252 youngman
youngman's picture

When you don´t have a job and you are in your parents basement...waiting for that phone to ring......you have to do something...of course after you have jacked off ten times...

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:34 | 2783426 yt75
yt75's picture

How is that different from any other game or even reading a book, idiot, you are out of your body while doing it ?

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:37 | 2783249 youngman
youngman's picture

I just bought a new Samsung G III..it had Facebook already on it.....I  did not think much of it...but when I got back to my big computer...and logged on to Facebook...it had a map of everywhere I went.....I thought that was a little over board....

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:50 | 2783293 css1971
css1971's picture

I'm sure the CIA, FBI et al are very thankful.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:54 | 2783303 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

If FB had a map, then so did the DHS. And probably in real time, if they wanted it.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:30 | 2783412 frenzic
frenzic's picture

They do. They have.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:54 | 2783305 veyron
veyron's picture

You've left us with more questions than answers ...

 

- Why do you have a facebook account?

 

- Why did you get a Samsung G III? (as opposed to a dumbphone)

 

- Why do you log into facebook on your phone?

 

- Why aren't you clicking on those ads?

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:59 | 2783327 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

we all got that map of you too..  you spend a lot of time in the bathroom  O.o

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:40 | 2783580 Mary Wilbur
Mary Wilbur's picture

Every cell phone, whether it has a GPS device or not, constantly records your location for your wireless carrier. The different wireless carriers retain this data for however long they want and provide that information to the FBI upon request. No warrent is required.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 20:33 | 2783741 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

And that is why I haven't carried my cell phone around for the last 2 years.  I have one just in case and I usually leave it my car... a very old Motorola flip phone.  I always leave it turned off.

Everyone I see, everywhere I go, wherever I go is walking around focusing on their cellphone.  They're so zombified I don't believe the sheeple-bots could ever survive 1 minute without checking for their next text message.  

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:37 | 2783250 jldpc
jldpc's picture

dud!

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:41 | 2783257 Meesohaawnee
Meesohaawnee's picture

if you care what howdy doody says.. all i can say is get a life

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:43 | 2783263 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I'm holding him to his word that he will not sell his shares until 1 year (after the financial collapse has ocurred.)

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:43 | 2783265 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Does Zuckerberg have a chart of the Farcebook stock price on his Timeline?

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:43 | 2783266 Boondocker
Boondocker's picture

good thing he made money...ugly dude....

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