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Zuckerberg Speaks (Finally) - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Prepare for an onslaught of social media buzzwords: we will have a word cloud after the speech. That said, here is a suggestion: less "disrupt" ... more "cash flow"

 

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Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:12 | 2783187 rfaze
rfaze's picture

Zuckerberg handles himself like a child...... 

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:15 | 2783196 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

zucky is nothen but a bag of tools

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:16 | 2783201 ACP
ACP's picture

That's funny, all I hear out of his mouth is a bunch of pops and buzzes.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:21 | 2783214 veyron
veyron's picture

I for one am glad to see what happened with the FB IPO ... I think it exposed a lot of the corruption behind the IPO process, and seeing the lack of "retail" participation put a smile on my face.

 

... and now my friends are talking about how CNBC does a disservice to the world :)

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:01 | 2783334 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

We'll see how good FaceBerg does going down the line as another 63% of shares are coming before year end.

Thats 1.637 BILLION SHARES

FACEBOOK LOCK-UP RELEASES:

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:24 | 2783391 Aziz
Aziz's picture

November 13th. What a day that's going to be.

 

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:21 | 2783384 frenzic
frenzic's picture

Good for them. It took them long enough though and now they are off to bask in some other MSM beacon of disinformation. Got to have that watercooler talk ready, got to fit in. Winning. Insert official ZH tag here.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:47 | 2783605 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

That fucking prick Kernan said this morning that "nobody at this station said FaceFuck was a buy". What a fucking liar. Cramer, Faber, that moronic Simon Hobbs jackoff were all jacking off on air the day of the IPO

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:23 | 2783219 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Zuckerberg has a brand new strategy to monetize the activities of the users of its free service and the users of the free services (e.g. instagram) that it is acquiring at pets.com circa-1999 valuation models.

All those Facebookers will be cash cows soon...each and every one of them.

The solution will be make up the non-monetization of users (and maybe negative-monetization soon given advertising trends) on growing volume.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:18 | 2783206 r00t61
r00t61's picture

He needs to spend some of his IPO money on a better teleprompter.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:27 | 2783229 Renewable Life
Renewable Life's picture

It's amazing how pathetic they all look compared to Steve Jobs!! Now there was a man who knew how to work a room and deliver a product!!! The rest of these dorks look like idiots!!

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:43 | 2783264 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

To be fair It is a lot easier when you actually have a product to deliver............

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:09 | 2783348 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

And to think I was on the verge of patenting and selling jars full of air. Everyone needs air to live just like food right? Should make a fortune...

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:15 | 2783371 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

You do realize that there are literally tens of millions of absolutely stupid dipshits that would buy such a product.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:25 | 2783394 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

I think Dave Berry said, 20 years ago if you told someone people would be making tons of money off bottled water, you'd just spray them with your garden hose and tell them to get off your lawn...and most of it isn't as good as most city water anyway, which in turn isn't as good as the artesian spring in my backyard, which no, I won't sell the water from.  Bitchez.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:27 | 2783403 frenzic
frenzic's picture

Bottled water comes to mind.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:47 | 2783562 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Pre-cut & washed salad in a bag has made billions for its founder.

Pre-mixed & flavored liquor in a bag is now showing monster growth.

 

Both these products sell at about a 600% price premium to the sum total of their ingredients (the automated equipment that shreds the lettuce and mixes the beverages must be quite expensive).

There's no possibility of underestimating the stupidity of the American Consumer.

Go forth and make it rain, bitchez.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 23:34 | 2784148 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

@beam me up scotty

You aren't aware of Marcel Duchamp's "Paris Air"?? I'm certain William Banzai is.

http://www.toutfait.com/unmaking_the_museum/Paris%20Air.html

 

I don't trust amyone (with my money) born after 1955 and you shouldn't either.

 

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:30 | 2783239 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

This guy is a complete flop as a CEO.

 

http://jamesturkblog.blogspot.ca/

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:40 | 2783255 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Chief executive orifice?

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:32 | 2783561 Optimusprime
Optimusprime's picture

Schmuckerberg????

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:13 | 2783192 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Monitize mobile.... Good luck with that Mark. Hahahaha

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:22 | 2783222 Daily Bail
Daily Bail's picture

Weil Says Faceplant Won't Go Below $4 Per Share

Expiring lock-ups are a bitch.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:15 | 2783197 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Pfft...  D'Italia putaz!  Non-shareholder Bearing could care less what happens to zuck.com...

Domani andiamo a Bari!  (on vacation in Italy)

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:33 | 2783424 piceridu
piceridu's picture

c'è l'ho parenti a Bari...buon viaggio

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 20:20 | 2783700 Cazzi amari
Cazzi amari's picture

Salento! .... ah...enjoy lu mare lu sule lu ientu

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:19 | 2783209 Mongo
Mongo's picture

Here is the sumary for word cloud ... "mobile mobile.. uhm.. mobile mobile... "

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:20 | 2783213 cdude
cdude's picture

Friend THIS!

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:45 | 2783277 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Convert or die, Bitchez...........  -"Uncle" Mitt Obameny-

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:50 | 2783591 Mary Wilbur
Mary Wilbur's picture

This is the funniest thing I've heard in a week. Thank you.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:27 | 2783226 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

<----Like

<----Dislike

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:29 | 2783236 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

please don't put his ugly mug on the blog.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:33 | 2783243 yogibear
yogibear's picture

 Wall Street's  poster child. Morgan bet a lot on facefart. 

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:35 | 2783246 juwes
juwes's picture

"We have 235 million people playing games monthly.  OK, that's real."

 

 

If playing video games is real, what's fake?

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:38 | 2783252 youngman
youngman's picture

When you don´t have a job and you are in your parents basement...waiting for that phone to ring......you have to do something...of course after you have jacked off ten times...

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:34 | 2783426 yt75
yt75's picture

How is that different from any other game or even reading a book, idiot, you are out of your body while doing it ?

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:37 | 2783249 youngman
youngman's picture

I just bought a new Samsung G III..it had Facebook already on it.....I  did not think much of it...but when I got back to my big computer...and logged on to Facebook...it had a map of everywhere I went.....I thought that was a little over board....

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:50 | 2783293 css1971
css1971's picture

I'm sure the CIA, FBI et al are very thankful.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:54 | 2783303 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

If FB had a map, then so did the DHS. And probably in real time, if they wanted it.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:30 | 2783412 frenzic
frenzic's picture

They do. They have.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:54 | 2783305 veyron
veyron's picture

You've left us with more questions than answers ...

 

- Why do you have a facebook account?

 

- Why did you get a Samsung G III? (as opposed to a dumbphone)

 

- Why do you log into facebook on your phone?

 

- Why aren't you clicking on those ads?

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:59 | 2783327 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

we all got that map of you too..  you spend a lot of time in the bathroom  O.o

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:40 | 2783580 Mary Wilbur
Mary Wilbur's picture

Every cell phone, whether it has a GPS device or not, constantly records your location for your wireless carrier. The different wireless carriers retain this data for however long they want and provide that information to the FBI upon request. No warrent is required.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 20:33 | 2783741 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

And that is why I haven't carried my cell phone around for the last 2 years.  I have one just in case and I usually leave it my car... a very old Motorola flip phone.  I always leave it turned off.

Everyone I see, everywhere I go, wherever I go is walking around focusing on their cellphone.  They're so zombified I don't believe the sheeple-bots could ever survive 1 minute without checking for their next text message.  

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:37 | 2783250 jldpc
jldpc's picture

dud!

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:41 | 2783257 Meesohaawnee
Meesohaawnee's picture

if you care what howdy doody says.. all i can say is get a life

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:43 | 2783263 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I'm holding him to his word that he will not sell his shares until 1 year (after the financial collapse has ocurred.)

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:43 | 2783265 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Does Zuckerberg have a chart of the Farcebook stock price on his Timeline?

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:43 | 2783266 Boondocker
Boondocker's picture

good thing he made money...ugly dude....

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:14 | 2783518 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

A real fucking douchebag.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:49 | 2783272 juwes
juwes's picture

Hating Zuckerberg is like taking away Lance Armstorng's medals, it's not going to change anyone's mind.

 

ZeroHedge comments are noise not signal.  I'm hoping they inject something ars-technica.com has done with comments, highlighting one commenter's post up top, to help readers sort through the noise with an official endoresement of a good/funny/relevant or whatever they want to highlight post for a given article.

 

This is different than a community voting system, which is always skewed towards the zerohedge active users, not necessarily the views of the operators of the site, who are the authors of and the deciders of the content of this blog.  Don't care which post zero hedge chose to highlight?  Who fucking cares.  Some of us are interested in the insights of the founders and operators of this website.

I would ask you guys to contribute to some more ideas for how to make the comments section more readable, but these requests usually amount to mitt shit.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:52 | 2783296 hannah
hannah's picture

i vote for juwes to build and pay for this great new site he is talking about...? i may be critical of some ZH contribs but it is free....and i do hate zuckerburgstein.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:57 | 2783319 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

The ZH leadership appear to enjoy the noise as noise. Some kind of old-skool BBS ethic at work there, I imagine.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:57 | 2783467 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

blah blah

 

coherent and cogent please

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:47 | 2783282 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

The zit on capitalism's arse.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:03 | 2783329 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Since Capitalism appears to have died sometime over the last 3 years I would amend that to: the zit on Capitalisms dead and rotting arse.

It's kind of a zombie thing.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:48 | 2783287 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

I know nothing about Goldman Sucks gross over-valuation

I know nothing about market mainpulation on IPO day to keep Flopbook stock above $30

I know nothing about why Flopbook shares have tanked

i know nothing.... Thank you

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:54 | 2783304 oldfruit1
oldfruit1's picture

this is a joke .. the stock is up 3% on that speech? what fucking moron would buy the stock on zuck-berg saying he would try and drive mobile business?!

there really are some fuckwits trading equities out there ..  

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:56 | 2783313 css1971
css1971's picture

The stock is going to $5,

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:59 | 2783328 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

It's that 16 yr old baby trader from MS doubling down on facefart.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:55 | 2783307 css1971
css1971's picture

Don't you understand? You should be buying shares in Facebook just to have some of Zuckerberg's awesomeness rub off on you.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:14 | 2783369 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Wheres MillionDollarBonus? He should be going all in on FB by now if he already hasn't.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:55 | 2783312 caimen garou
caimen garou's picture

if everyone that plays farm story would plant a real garden we could end world hunger!

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 21:19 | 2783852 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

we're all pretty well over-fed here in the West

how about the hungry plant a garden and sort themselves out?

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 17:57 | 2783323 Randy Goodnight
Randy Goodnight's picture

Looks like role playing in a University classroom.  Everyone is so full of themselves.  Who takes this shit seriously?

Full disclosure: I don't have a facebook account, don't use facebook and never will.  It's fun to watch the stock tank though.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:08 | 2783349 haskelslocal
haskelslocal's picture

A Suckersberg is borne every minute.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:14 | 2783368 mayhem
mayhem's picture

im going to double down some puts

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:28 | 2783407 Brazillionaire
Brazillionaire's picture

They were speaking English, right? It seemed to me that the guy was pretending to understand the questions and they were pretending to understand his answers. That's all I can figure, because none of it made any sense.

 

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 18:30 | 2783413 yt75
yt75's picture

Facebook and the discourse that goes with it is so dead and boring, truly amazing ...

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:20 | 2783536 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Jawberged, Bitchez!

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:22 | 2783539 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Pretty soon HFT's will be watching for any movement of Doucheberg's mouth muscles to frontrun.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 19:51 | 2783612 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

Buy more MDB. Its a sure thing. Report back later please

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 20:56 | 2783800 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Zuckerberg exclaims: My hoody was pulled over my eyes, give me another chance. I really didn’t understand how the retail market works..

/LOL

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 21:22 | 2783860 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

BTW

 

While you’re driving traffic to sell 3rd party information, we watch heat maps already created prior to FuckFace platform.. winks  

http://www.akamai.com/dv1

 

You look like homeless fucks who are pitching a dead Microsoft chat forum. I kept waiting for one of you to hit the ground, spread your legs and pull out a lighter to show us your new heat map. 

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 22:12 | 2783991 Yohimbo
Yohimbo's picture

FUCK You Zuckerberg and FaceBukk.

Tue, 09/11/2012 - 23:51 | 2784169 Didn't build that
Didn&#039;t build that's picture

he didn't build that.....

someone along the way gave him some help...

Wed, 09/12/2012 - 09:56 | 2785444 larz
larz's picture

geek chic is officially dead - what a douche

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