With everyone and their mother scrambling to come up with some utterly meaningless number (why is it meaningless? Because From January to March seasonal adjustments have "added" 4,477,000 jobs, [2]and the monthly error interval is 100,000) to game the headline, which algos just can't wait for to send the market soaring (on either "virtuous circle" or "More QE" signals), here is our best suggestion on how to predict what the US economy will do all the way to the Planck constant. And at a sunk cost of only $24.99 to US taxpayers for bailed out US bank strategists, we are confident that expense committee will be able to say no to these oh so very critical products for the new "alive or dead" normal.
Presenting: The Schrodinger Cat executive Decision maker:
What is it? Why nothing short of the answer to all your economic queries:
Run, do not walk, to this site, and order one right now. Make sure to use Using achyon delivery service - that wa you will have gotten it by the time you order one, just in time to predict the state of the US economy.
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Give up your free will
When decisions need to be made, sometimes there isn't a right choice. Drink coffee or tea? Hire Bob or Bob? Order pizza or Chinese? In the long run, these things don't matter. Give up your free will to the Schrödinger's Cat Executive Decision Maker
To use the Schrödinger's Cat Executive Decision Maker:
- Ask your question. Any question that can be answered in a binary fashion will do. The cat is extremely bored in the box and will listen to whatever you say. It is open to questions of an executive, legislative, or personal nature. You'll never know the answer if you don't ask.
- Slide open the door. At this point, the magic will happen and you'll see the cat flashing in flux between life and death. You'll either find this disturbing or intensely magical. We won't pass judgement on your character based on your reaction, we promise.
- See your decision solidify before you. The cat will be alive (which we interpret as a "Yes") or dead (or "No"). The almighty Schrödinger's Cat Executive Decision Maker has spoken. Go and do its bidding. Meow.
Product Specifications
- Give up your free will to a box with a cat in it
- No real kittehs were harmed in the production of this product
- To receive the answer to your most burning binary question:
- Ask your question.
- Slide open the door.
- View live or dead cat.
- Batteries: 3 AA batteries (not included)
- Dimensions: 5.5" long, 4" tall, 4" deep