GiaNT SQuiD SiGHTiNG NoT A HoaX...

BANZAI7 NEWS--For the second time in recent months, a giant sea creature has washed ashore in California. First it was a rare oarfish that had grown to a freakish 100-foot length. This time it was a giant squid measuring a whopping 160 feet from head to tentacle tip.

These giants look different but experts believe they share one important commonality: they both come from the waters near the Goldman Sachs Toxic Asset Plant in the Buttfuk District of Lower Manhattan.

Scientists believe that following the 2008 disaster at the Goldman Sachs Toxic Asset Plant an unknown number of trading creatures suffered genetic mutations that triggered uncontrolled growth – or “radioactive gigantism of the risk scrotum.”