It really doesn't get any more ridiculous than Marketwatch's question du jour [4]. As for the right answer, is it:
i) because you haven't taken out a fourth mortgage on your house and bought GoPro with the proceeds
ii) because you forgot that in a market as rigged and manipulated as this one, only BTFD and BTFATH matters
iii) because hard as you try, you still can't pay your monthly rent in "confidence" terms
iv) because after losing it all on Madoff, you are wary of Ponzi schemes
v) because your name isn't Jamie Dimon
vi) all of the above
[5]
Lest someone is confused about the context, Marketwatch also helpfully explains:
[6]
Congratulations Fed: you can add "financial journalism" to "market" and all the other items you have made a mockery of.