Tyler Durden's picture

Caption Contest: The Drone Ranger

With the eponymous Johnny Depp July 4th blockbuster a total dud, now is the time to start even floppier thinking sequels. Here is one such suggestion.



Tyler Durden's picture

The Revenue Recession Of 2013

If you’ve wondered what the next recession might bring in the way of U.S. corporate earnings, you don’t have long to wait for an answer.  Analysts expect the 30 companies of the Dow Jones Industrial Average to post a meager 0.7% top line growth for the upcoming Q2 2013 reporting season.  If recent history – think all the way back to Q1 2013 – is any guide, that means we’ll actually see a decline in revenues for the just completed quarter once all the numbers are out.  And with Q1 posting an average negative 0.6% top line comparison to last year, that will constitute a “Revenue recession” for these large and generally well-managed multinationals.  If that makes you question why U.S. stocks are still up 15% on the year, look to both corporate profits (still at record highs) and the anticipation for a better second half.  Hope may not be a strategy, as the old saying goes, but it certainly moves markets.



Tyler Durden's picture

S&P Downgrades Italy From BBB+ From BBB; Full "Puffery" Statement

Just more meangingless drivel form a clueless, paid for rating agency (which recently disclosed it would plead "puffery" in its defense against the US lawsuit) now that the ECB is intent on actually lowering the EURUSD, because unlike last year, there is no (immediate) fear of redenomination risk as a result of a sliding EURUSD. Thank you Japanese carry trade.



Tyler Durden's picture

Guest Post: The Sky Is (Not) Falling: A “Little More Chicken” Tale

We live in a money paradigm. All things are delivered for money (trade). All goods are compared to money (prices). Then we live and die by our trade and the money-signals that prices give us. Stop trade, wobble the prices around, and we starve by millions. We also swim in a consumer paradigm. We work to get people halfway around the world buy our stuff so that we can buy stuff back from them. Why? If you want an apple, which is easier: to work, trade that work for money through the online banking system, have money load that apple on a tractor in New Zealand, ship it to a warehouse, a cargo ship, a truck, a store, your car, then your mouth? Or is it easier just to go in the back yard and pick one? Worried about prices? All those middle men must be paid, from New Zealand to New Hampshire. Which do you think is cheaper? Which do you think is more reliable? Which do you think tastes better?



Tyler Durden's picture

3 Year Bond Auction Sizzles, Provides Relief To Recent Collateral Shortage

As reported yesterday when we showed the very special rate that the 3 Year was trading in repo (-1.45%, same as today), many were looking to today's 3 Year auction to relieve some of the collateral shortage issues that have developed across various asset classes. And sure enough, following last month's abysmal 3 Year auction, today's pricing of $32 billion in 3 Year paper was like night and day compared to a month ago.



Tyler Durden's picture

Guest Post: Telegraphing The Turnaround In Gold

As of last Friday, gold has now fallen as much 35.4% (based on London PM fix prices) over 96 weeks. But if you're like us, you still recognize that the core reasons for investing in gold haven't changed. People who sold their gold recently made a shortsighted decision. Before too long precious metals will rebound - and probably in a big way. But when? Does history have any clues about how long we'll have to wait for that rebound?



Tyler Durden's picture

Moscow Has Some Fighting Words For John Kerry

Russia to United States (et al): "you are lying."

  • MOSCOW'S U.N. ENVOY SAYS RUSSIAN ANALYSIS INDICATES SYRIAN REBELS, NOT ARMY, CARRIED OUT ALEPPO CHEMICAL ATTACK ON MARCH 19

The ball is now in the free world's court.



Tyler Durden's picture

Exposing The Lie Behind The Nonfarm Payroll Numbers

While we have already extensively deconstructed the quality components of jobs in the US, showing first that in June 240K full time jobs were lost, even as 360K part-time jobs were "gained", and second that so far in 2013 only 130K full time jobs have been added offset by 557K part-time jobs, we had sinking suspicions that there was something off with the quantity component as well: after all, at an average monthly gain of precisely 201.8K jobs in the past six months (or in 2013), this number seemed just a little too perfect considering the Fed's implicit target of generating just over 200K jobs in a half year period before it begins tapering, which in light of declining gross issuance and less monetizable instruments, has been the Fed's goal all along. Today, courtesy of the monthly JOLTS survey we got just the confirmation we needed that, indeed, the official non-farm payroll number as per the Establishment Survey has been substantially off to the tune of a whopping 40% above what is quantitatively happening in reality.



Tyler Durden's picture

Meet America's Second Largest Employer: A Temp Agency

The Washington Examiner reports, that the second largest employer in America is Kelly Services - a temporary work provider. The company, started in 1946, serves 99% of the Fortune 100 and had revenues of $5.5bn in 2012. As The Examiner concludes, echoing our and Mr. Stockman's previous thoughts, it's a sad state of affairs for our country that the recovery, or lack thereof, is being fueled by a shift from full-time to part-time work.



Tyler Durden's picture

Snowden May Or May Not Have Accepted Venezuela Asylum Offer

Did Edward Snowden just accept a Venezuela asylum offer? He did for a few minutes following a tweet by Russian politician Alexey Pushkov, but subsequently did not after the tweet was deleted. Welcome to the New Normal age of twitter diplomacy...



Tyler Durden's picture

Kermit Krushed By Latest Stolpering As Asmussen Sends EURUSD Under 1.2800

Moments ago ECB's Asmussen had some less than jovial words for EURUSD longs. To wit via Reuters: ASMUSSEN SAYS THERE WAS UNANIMITY ON ALL DECISIONS LAST THURSDAY INCLUDING THE RATE DECISION; ASMUSSEN SAYS ECB FORWARD GUIDANCE GOES BEYOND 12 MONTHS; ECB'S ASMUSSEN SAYS IF NEEDED WE HAVE A RANGE OF STANDARD AND NON-STANDARD MEASURES WE CAN DEPLOY. And the punchline: ASMUSSEN, ASKED ON NEW LTRO, SAYS I WOULD NOT RULE OUT THIS. The intention, of course, was to crush the EURUSD now that redenomination risk is, supposedly, gone. We can't wait until said risk returns and Mario Draghi comes back urging everyone to buy, buy, buy the EURUSD. Of course, end result for those who listened to us a week ago and faded Stolper's latest EURUSD long at 1.3060, a 260 pip gain with which we close the latest Stolper fade reco.



Tyler Durden's picture

Egypt: 6 Charts And 2 Scenarios

The overthrow of President Mohamad Morsi by popular demand and supported by the army inaugurates yet another volatile episode in Egypt’s long and turbulent transition. Macro stabilisation in Egypt hinges on a swift and cohesive transition, and given the current bloodshed, that appears unlikely - which leaves Barclays 'muddle-through scenario' - where political/religious divides delay formation of civilian government - as the most likely; postponing fiscal reforms indefinitely, and undermining further the fiscal and debt sustainability of the already-troubled nation. This is a major problem, since, after all; among the main reasons behind the mass protests of 30 June were the continued deterioration in most socioeconomic indicators, faltering public services (notably provisions of fuel and electricity), rising risks of macroeconomic instability and slow progress in implementing socioeconomic and fiscal reforms over the past year.



Tyler Durden's picture

Tuesday Humor: Charting The Progression Of IMF Growth "Forecasts"

Here are the IMF's latest, and prior, forecasts presented without commentary. None is needed.



Tyler Durden's picture

Preparing For Bernanke’s Speech With A Short “Who Said It?” Quiz

In case you missed the late announcement, Ben Bernanke is scheduled to deliver a speech on Wednesday afternoon, covering the Federal Reserve Bank’s track record through its 100 year history. Presumably, he’ll also spend time defending current policies, in both prepared remarks and the question-and-answer session to follow.

In advance of what could be a market-moving talk, it seems appropriate to consider what’s been said in the past about the Fed’s policy record. I suggest seeing if you can name the source of each of the following excerpts...



Tyler Durden's picture

Japan Government To Change Inflation Calculation Ushering In Even More BOJ Liquidity

When it comes to changing the "measurement" rules in the middle of the game, nobody does it quite like Japan: in the aftermath of the Fukushima nuclear explosion, when radiation was soaring (and still is with Tritium levels just hitting a record high but who cares - Goldman partners have to earn record bonuses on the back of the irradiated island) Japan's solution was simple: double the maximum safe irradiation dosage. Done and done. Now, it is time to do the same to that other just as pesky, if somewhat less lethal indicator: inflation. Reuters reports that the Japanese government plans to adopt a different measure of inflation to the central bank's.



Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!