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Which Limited Run Shirt Will You Buy?


So, it is that time again. Our popular "Zero HedgeIntelligence" t-shirt ("On a long enough timeline the IQ of every CNBC anchor drops to zero.") is about at the end of its run. We will be removing this cherished bit of old-media history from our stores permanently on Friday. If you still want your own copy, now is the time to wander on over to the Zero Hedge Catalogue'o'Swag and grab one of the last ones.  We are also phasing out the original, multi-color Zero Hedge Cap and the old logo Country Code Stickers.  Thanks for all the memories, guys!

So that takes care of "out with the old," here's the "in with the new":

We scoured the world over to find a partner that would give us the quality product and flexibility of design that we needed to properly entheta our readers with the only scarlet Greek letter that will get you unceremoniously kicked out of any restaurant in which James Simons happens to be sitting at the moment of your arrival. We think you will appreciate the results, but we had some trouble with the final design.

We spent a lot of time conducting focus groups (read: accosting random friends in dark bars while drunk, and asking their opinions on the latest swag design pictured on our expansive and high-contrast iPhone screens) but couldn't get a consensus on which design would carry the day in a fair fight. So we decided to let the markets decide.

We've narrowed the next limited run of Zero Hedge specialty shirts down to two contenders:


Black Swan


American Dream



At the moment it seems pretty clear that we will be printing on American Apparel stock.  For those in the know, probably the Sheer Jersey Short Sleeve Summer T-Shirt or the Original Fine Jersey Short Sleeve T-Shirt.  For the uninitiated, this means 100% sheer or fine Jersey cotton, a durable rib neckband, reinforced shoulder, double-needle bottom hem stitching... basically the best damn T-Shirt an underage American Apparel model can get nearly naked in- or that you can wear into the lobby at 85 Broad.  (Triple-Word-Score for combining the underage model, the shirt and the lobby at 85 Broad).

Once we get our hot little hands on the best damn T-Shirts money can buy, the designs will be film-transferred to our presses and branded on that virgin cotton with hand-picked inks via by-hand screen-printing and heat cured finishing- a process selected for its tendency to produce brighter, higher-quality images with a strong resistance to fading.  There is simply no comparing these results with the direct-print or thermal heat transfer process used by the likes of CafePress.  (We still love you CafePress, and no one makes hats or coffee mugs like you guys!)  Between the superior stock and image quality, we think you will be quite pleased.

So, get to voting.  You've got 10 days to decide and we have to schedule the models for the shirt promo-shoots before their schedules fill up.  (Classes at the local high schools start soon, you know.)


- advertisements -

Thu, 08/13/2009 - 00:00 | 34985 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I concur with several other posters. Can we get a 'Classic' design t-shirt with just the picture/emblem you have at the top right corner of the site?

"0 Zerohedge | On a long enough timeline the survival rate of everyone drops to zero."

Perhaps that picture on the breast, and/or perhaps as a larger print on the back of a t-shirt.

Thanks Marla,
Keep up the great work!

Thu, 08/13/2009 - 02:25 | 35024 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Why not put both Swan and dream On? Hey, swan can be in front and dream in back, or vice versa. On second thought, put the dream onto and under the rear end of swan.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 21:56 | 34894 Ruth
Ruth's picture

How much does the autographed versions go for?

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 21:35 | 34874 fivethousandove...
fivethousandoverlibor's picture

Really?  Are we really voting on T-shirts?  What is happening to this blog?

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 21:29 | 34863 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Something about the swan doesn't look quite right. Neck too thick, head too big for the body. It's supposed to be a swan, not a long-necked duck. e.g. c.f. this one which has an almost identical profile

And it just looks like an advert for a Western Australian radio station or DJ anyway.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 20:19 | 34772 climacus
climacus's picture

Can we get an official looking zerohedge coffee mug please? The Digital Dickweed mug is a little too deep for my co-workers and are making their heads explode.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 20:16 | 34767 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture


What's with switching the A and the B for the vote?
The blog is getting buttery.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 19:24 | 34701 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Under Ni-Ju-Bashi swim four swans ... Mated pairs ... 2 white & 2 black. ... The daring can go out in the morning and feed them. They prefer slices of bread, torn up, & tossed into the moat. Only once a year the people are allowed to cross the bridge. (Once upon a time, the land in front of the moat was the most expensive in the world. ... Now, after two lost decades, the land values have dropped by half.) ... Recovery may come, but it is still a long way off. ... But the swans still swim & the bridge is still guarded.

So, who among you has seen the bridge. ... And how many of you has ever crossed it?

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 19:23 | 34700 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Under Ni-Ju-Bashi swim four swans ... Mated pairs ... 2 white & 2 black. ... The daring can go out in the morning and feed them. They prefer slices of bread, torn up, & tossed into the moat. Only once a year the people are allowed to cross the bridge. (Once upon a time, the land in front of the moat was the most expensive in the world. ... Now, after two lost decades, the land values have dropped by half.) ... Recovery may come, but it is still a long way off. ... But the swans still swim & the bridge is still guarded.

So, who among you has seen the bridge. ... And how many of you has ever crossed it?

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 18:52 | 34674 cwd42
cwd42's picture

count me with crowd wanting simple shirt...ZH logo w/-273 would be kewl

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 18:48 | 34668 anonymike
anonymike's picture

I voted for the black swan, but will only buy one if it has a pocket.


Wed, 08/12/2009 - 18:42 | 34661 Missing_Link
Missing_Link's picture

Strange that the survey has A as swan and B as dream, while the results page has them opposite.  Marla, are you sure these are being counted correctly?

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 18:41 | 34660 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture


Please just start charging for site access (or to see the posts 24 hrs earlier than non-members).

You're degrading your site with this junior-varsity bakesale-style fundraising.

I think you'd be surprised by how many readers would pay for premium access.


Wed, 08/12/2009 - 18:35 | 34650 Anonymous
Wed, 08/12/2009 - 21:32 | 34868 fivethousandove...
fivethousandoverlibor's picture

Astounding.  Well done. 

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 19:44 | 34730 deadhead
deadhead's picture

34650...nice move! I saw that floating around several months ago and it is genuinely hysterical.....that would be one hell of a shirt.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 18:56 | 34677 Missing_Link
Missing_Link's picture


Wed, 08/12/2009 - 18:13 | 34625 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I'b buy one that said, Black Dream. American Swan.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 18:11 | 34621 TumblingDice
TumblingDice's picture

I really don't understand the black swan concept. To me it seems like all it says is "crazy shit happens" or "models aren't always right" or "there are unexpected events sometimes." So I'm not getting that one since I take all that as a given anyway, but the American Dream I'll think about.

The only reservation I have is that a fellow consumer of alcohol in an establishment might interpret the shirt to mean that I hope they/we get srewed. Of course in reality the shirt mostly represents the hope of failure of the robber barrons but I fear that the message that will show will be one of schadenfreude over the misery of the 401k holding population.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:53 | 34616 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I suggest a new shirt:

In Gold We Trust w/the "L" crossed out and superimposed over Bernanke's face.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:46 | 34607 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Can we have option C - just plain old Zero Hedge log and maybe the log text in the front or vice versa

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:37 | 34594 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

I was hoping Zero Hedge would have picked up my cursing fish saying, "Banks Suck".

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:19 | 34574 whacked
whacked's picture



My dyslexia proving a real problem.


Are they ar$e about?


What about PayPal from cafe for us out of towners?

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:41 | 34602 VegasBD
VegasBD's picture

same here, i had to read it twice. i suppose the A. vs B. swap is on purpose? Kinda like the CAPTCHAs that require one digit for two digit answers?

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:15 | 34570 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I want one that says 'the guerrilla terrorist of the financial services industry'

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:14 | 34568 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Now that's a shirt I would buy.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:14 | 34567 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Take the American Dream logo and put it on the back of the t-shirt.

Take the ZH logo and put it on the upper left side of the front of the t-shirt.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:10 | 34563 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Pleeez stop posting sh*t like this on the blog. Pretty pleez......

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:13 | 34566 Quantum Noise
Quantum Noise's picture

sure, just make sure your contribution is big enough to keep the servers going. Oh, and make sure marla doesn't run out of cigarettes. As for tyler, I don't know what he's on. Judging after his productivity I doubt he only runs on coffee.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:37 | 34593 VegasBD
VegasBD's picture

i wish i was half as productive  in my life as TD is at his blog hobby

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:10 | 34558 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Can we just have a plain shirt with nothing but the ZH Logo on the front and back? I think this would afford the wearer a ready-made opportunity to respond to the inevitable 'What's that?' inquiries with an elucidating diatribe on the manifest failings of our current monetary policy and thereby contribute to the general level of awareness in re all things financial and corrupt.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:08 | 34556 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Hey guys, how bout ty and marla's fight club pic, I'd like that....hum? trademark interference? I'd love one of both. Can't you make the black swan look a little sick and diseased or something? lol

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:07 | 34553 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I've always been partial to this t-shirt logo...

Any chance?

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:06 | 34550 Quantum Noise
Quantum Noise's picture

Hey Marla, how about we unleash the creativity of the space monkeys and we have a contest who designs the best T-shirt? Many space monkeys seem pretty creative judging after their posts, why not have them come up with some ideas? Heck, even a black T with the 50 most hilarious avatars would look great.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 20:59 | 34819 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Superimpose the the swan onto the bar graph. In an abstract way, the curve of the swan's body kinda tracks with the line on the graph.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:01 | 34541 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

what does the 273 mean. i keep up with this blog pretty well, but i am lost on that.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:08 | 34555 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

-273 is absolute zero, where theoretically all motion will cease.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:05 | 34548 -273
-273's picture

-273 is absolute zero. 0 k on the kelvin scale. We worked on the design with ZH.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:10 | 34559 Quantum Noise
Quantum Noise's picture

It is actually 273.15. That 0.15 difference seems small, but for the physicists who study Bose-Einstein Condensation it is huge, since they're dealing with micro and even nano Kelvins.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:38 | 34597 VegasBD
VegasBD's picture

did not know that! thanx for the fyi. gonna get me some free drinks by quizzing my bartender

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:01 | 34539 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

"Paulson pissed on my face - TD"

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 16:58 | 34533 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

put a zerohedge logo on the sleeve of the black swan

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:51 | 34613 matthylland
matthylland's picture

I second that

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 16:56 | 34526 Quantum Noise
Quantum Noise's picture

I hope the black swan tee is for girls only. Otherwise it would be pretty lame on an adult male. For the AD tee you should put some words above or below the graph... something along "Got 401k?".

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:39 | 34599 VegasBD
VegasBD's picture

Got Originality?

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 16:55 | 34523 Arm
Arm's picture

Hi Marla.  I kind of like the -273 plain logo t's better.  Do you also get a revenue share from those?

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 16:57 | 34529 Quantum Noise
Quantum Noise's picture

It's for the kids, man... I mean servers!

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 16:55 | 34521 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Both are ghey. How about a regular tshirt with "zerohedge" on it so that I can wear it to work?

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:00 | 34537 djchill2
djchill2's picture

Yep...this guy has the right idea...straight up....zerohedge....I' m in for that.

Wed, 08/12/2009 - 17:29 | 34583 Veteran
Veteran's picture

Word is bond.  symbol in front, zerohedge in type on back. 

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