So, it is that time again. Our popular "Zero HedgeIntelligence" t-shirt ("On a long enough timeline the IQ of every CNBC anchor drops to zero.") is about at the end of its run. We will be removing this cherished bit of old-media history from our stores permanently on Friday. If you still want your own copy, now is the time to wander on over to the Zero Hedge Catalogue'o'Swag and grab one of the last ones. We are also phasing out the original, multi-color Zero Hedge Cap and the old logo Country Code Stickers. Thanks for all the memories, guys!
So that takes care of "out with the old," here's the "in with the new":
We scoured the world over to find a partner that would give us the quality product and flexibility of design that we needed to properly entheta our readers with the only scarlet Greek letter that will get you unceremoniously kicked out of any restaurant in which James Simons happens to be sitting at the moment of your arrival. We think you will appreciate the results, but we had some trouble with the final design.
We spent a lot of time conducting focus groups (read: accosting random friends in dark bars while drunk, and asking their opinions on the latest swag design pictured on our expansive and high-contrast iPhone screens) but couldn't get a consensus on which design would carry the day in a fair fight. So we decided to let the markets decide.
We've narrowed the next limited run of Zero Hedge specialty shirts down to two contenders:
At the moment it seems pretty clear that we will be printing on American Apparel stock. For those in the know, probably the Sheer Jersey Short Sleeve Summer T-Shirt or the Original Fine Jersey Short Sleeve T-Shirt. For the uninitiated, this means 100% sheer or fine Jersey cotton, a durable rib neckband, reinforced shoulder, double-needle bottom hem stitching... basically the best damn T-Shirt an underage American Apparel model can get nearly naked in- or that you can wear into the lobby at 85 Broad. (Triple-Word-Score for combining the underage model, the shirt and the lobby at 85 Broad).
Once we get our hot little hands on the best damn T-Shirts money can buy, the designs will be film-transferred to our presses and branded on that virgin cotton with hand-picked inks via by-hand screen-printing and heat cured finishing- a process selected for its tendency to produce brighter, higher-quality images with a strong resistance to fading. There is simply no comparing these results with the direct-print or thermal heat transfer process used by the likes of CafePress. (We still love you CafePress, and no one makes hats or coffee mugs like you guys!) Between the superior stock and image quality, we think you will be quite pleased.
So, get to voting. You've got 10 days to decide and we have to schedule the models for the shirt promo-shoots before their schedules fill up. (Classes at the local high schools start soon, you know.)