Too fucking unreal to believe

The small, mountainous Central Asian nation of Kyrgyzstan, a vital conduit for supplies to U.S. forces in Afghanistan, plunged into chaos Wednesday as thousands of protesters ransacked government buildings and riot police fired on crowds, killing dozens of people.

The unrest left the fate of the government of President Kurmanbek Bakiyev in doubt. Bakiyev has led the country since 2005 when he headed the so-called Tulip Revolution, okay I'm getting something here, faint whiffs of a long gone financial bubble which deposed autocratic leader Askar A. Akayev.

In the wake of Wednesday's violence, Bakiyev's government declared a state of emergency, even as opposition leaders claimed to have assumed power and Kyrgyzstan's border with Kazakhstan was closed.

Although officials reported that at least 40 people had been killed and 400 wounded, opposition leaders put the death toll at 100. Neither report could be verified.

The situation was being watched closely by Washington, which uses the Manas base at the airport in the capital, Bishkek, to ferry supplies in and out of Afghanistan. and keep the corporate lords of war in the USMIC supplanted..

Manas is the only remaining American base in Central Asia and is considered vital to the Afghanistan war effort. Military officials said the violence had not affected operations there.

U.S. State Department spokesman Philip J. Crowley said the base was "functioning normally" and the Obama administration was urging a peaceful resolution to the conflict. of course a peaceful resolution when it suits our needs, and war, goddamit, when it doesn't!! But read my new treatise on Nuclear proliferation if you have questions??

Kyrgyz opposition leaders have called for closure of Manas because, they say, the base could put the country at risk if the U.S. becomes involved in a military conflict with Iran. OOOOHHHH, can it be that the ignorant natives of Kyrgyzstan know something the completely informed American voter does not?? And at least twice in recent years Bakiyev has threatened to end U.S. use of the airport, but reconsidered after negotiating larger payments. Now we're getting to down to the bottom line, how about some bailout money from our good neighbors in Obamastan??

Jeffrey Mankoff, a Central Asia specialist with the Council on Foreign Relations, said he doubted the U.S. base was in jeopardy. "My instinct is that whoever is in power would be amenable to keeping the base open," he said, "as long as the price is right." That line is sweeter than a chocolate Easter bunny made in, wherever..

Last year, the Obama administration agreed to increase the annual rent payment from about $16 million to a reported $60 million. (evidently the residents of Californistan are getting plenty of job money, but we are getting shit. "This is message to you, the people of Obamastan, we need jobs too, and not just slinging hash in the mess hall for you fat, blood thirsty GI's)

Kyrgyz are secular Muslims, and Islamist sentiments do not appear to have played a role in the uprising. The protests apparently were driven by growing discontent over a recent 200% increase in heating fuel and electricity prices. (Fortunately the Krygysitan CPI is really only around 1%)

Demonstrations began Tuesday in the western city of Talas, where about 500 protesters seized a government building and took the local governor hostage. (God bless you, Kyrgies, America can put a million men and women in the streets and nothing happens)

The unrest spread Wednesday to Bishkek, where waves of angry demonstrators tried to storm the main government building known as the White House, (their name, not mine) using an armored carrier to ram its gates.

Police fired on demonstrators on Ala-Too Square, the main plaza in front of the White House, and used tear gas and water cannons to disperse the crowds. (okay, it's the 1960's, try to remember.)

Protesters fought back by throwing rocks and beating any police officers they were able to isolate and surround.

Demonstrators then stormed the parliament building and the state television and radio building and set ablaze the prosecutor general's office (just pick the name of your favorite Attorney General and insert here, and add an -stan to the name) and National Security Service building.

Looting broke out throughout the city as demonstrators ransacked supermarket complexes and set shops on fire. Demonstrators were also seen looting the house of one of Bakiyev's sons and setting it ablaze.

Bakiyev's whereabouts remained unclear. One opposition figure said he had flown to the southern city of Osh. (you can make this translation, but Crawford, Texas rings a bell)

As the violence subsided, opposition leaders began negotiations with Prime Minister Daniar Usenov, demanding Bakiyev's resignation. By late Wednesday, opposition leaders had appeared on state television to tell the nation they had formed their own government. (Obamastan!!!)

An independent radio station called Echo of Moscow reported that Akayev, now living in Russia, had urged Bakiyev to step down.

Like Georgia's Rose Revolution in 2003 and the Orange Revolution in Ukraine in 2004, the popular revolt that overthrew Akayev was fueled by widespread anger over rigged elections and a thirst for democratic change. (Stay thirsty my friends)

Since then, however, many Kyrgyz in the nation of 5 million -- a third of whom live below the poverty line -- have becoming increasingly disillusioned with Bakiyev, whom they accused of fostering the same cronyism, corruption and crackdowns on news media freedoms that characterized the Akayev era. (which will soon be replaced by self censorship)

Bakiyev, a former Soviet factory director, served as Akayev's prime minister from 2000 to 2002. Wary of alienating Akayev loyalists within the government and sparking a second revolt, Bakiyev allowed many to keep their posts. He left virtually intact the country's election commission and Supreme Court, both widely blamed for allowing the vote-rigging that led to the 2005 uprising. (Bushiyev??)

The violence Tuesday and Wednesday was preceded by Bakiyev's decision to arrest 10 opposition leaders, an apparent attempt to prevent the demonstrations on Ala-Too Square that the opposition had planned for Wednesday afternoon. (Don't you have a no-fly list? Just put the sobs on the no taxi-cab list? Come on get with it third world wannabes!!)

However, the demonstrations went on as planned, with thousands converging on Bishkek.

Elsewhere in the country, several regional governors relinquished their posts as protesters seized government buildings.

State television reported that the new opposition government is led by Roza Otunbayeva, a lawmaker and former foreign minister under Bakiyev.

meanwhile in Washington several key Senators demanded earmarks for their support in voting for the mandatory Healthcare Insurance bill. Thank you, I went two for three today, I banged Madonna last night, no wait, that's the other A-Rod...

no offense intended to the real Alex Rodriquez, who wrote this story in dead earnst. We apologize, but life in this America is really a joke, not your fault.
alex.rodriguez @latimes.com

Times staff writer Julian E. Barnes in Washington and a special correspondent in Bishkek contributed to this report. Times wire services were used in compiling this report.