Hardware As A Service: Nevada Brothel Begins Using Sex Robots, Internet-Enabled Sex Toys

Modern problems require modern solutions.

And that's why Nevada's Alien Cathouse is adapting to the technological times, according to the Daily Star. The UFO themed brothel will be soon offering up a sex robot alongside of its - well, human sex robots. 

The robot is being introduced for clients who "love rough sex", according to a Cathouse spokeswoman. 

“For clients that love rough sex it's dangerous to girls, but a sex robot can bear it,” she said.

And apparently, the human staff at the Cathouse is embracing their new electronic co-worker. 

“The Courtesans are actually excited about the additional revenue stream to Alien Cathouse, and themselves …as well as the additional opportunities that might present themselves for interested parties wanting to party with a real flesh and blood courtesan and with an AI sex robot at the same time," the spokeswoman continued. 

In addition to the sex robot, the Cathouse is also introducing teledildonics - groundbreaking new technology that allows you to do things like operate someone's butt plug, via the internet, from halfway across the world. With a country this technologically sound, it's no wonder GDP just beat estimates. 

Rod Thompson of the Cathouse said: "Alien Cathouse really [caters for] towards individuals seeking to fulfil a sexual fantasy with a porn star and we are in talks with teledildonics manufacturers in regard to having each of our suites outfitted to accommodate this technology."

He continued: “Some of the ladies are very excited about this, because they say it gives them an opportunity to give men, women or couples that chance to experience an encounter with a real courtesan at a brothel they might not normally, because of time and or distance be able to actually physically visit. We have one of our top porn star courtesans that will be the first to book a client for this experience around Halloween this month.”

Thompson also said that for virtual visits, clients would need "compatible hardware". Men are directed to use the Interactive Vibrating Masturbator for Men toy and women are directed to use a toy called OhMiBod.

In terms of cost, a Cathouse spokesperson said: “Persons interested can only discuss pricing within a legally licensed brothel, but generally speaking we have seen bookings range anywhere from as little as $1,000 to tens of thousands of dollars. The courtesans set their own prices and split the price of the booking 50/50 with our brothel.”

And the sex robot will get a salary too, according to Thompson: “If it is a sex robot [working] with courtesan, pricing legally will be negotiated within the brothel …and most likely even if it were a sex robot the brothel would follow the same guidelines in terms of money.”

Cathouse employee Stella Renée said of the new technology: "As an honest-to-goodness, flesh-and-blood, Cougar-ific Cuddle Queen I am very excited about the addition of sex-bot playtime and remote interaction options at the brothel. Expanding our technological and social stiletto-print is imperative. Adapt or die!"

She continued: "I for one am all about diversifying my portfolio of sexy services to meet the needs of my beloved clients. I'm an artist damn it!"

Sure you are.