Can Someone Please Finally Explain What CDS Are To The Mainstream Media And The Greek Minister Of Prime

This is just getting ridiculous. First the NYT had some choice words over the weekend in describing the whole CDS fiasco, which alas did not have quite the desired effect, and now the BBC is out with a primer on SPECULATION ANALYSIS (yes, a primer), in which it has the following stunner:

Government bonds come with an insurance policy, called a credit default swap (CDS).

At this point: i) everyone has become an overnight "expert" on CDS, ii) every "expert" is patently wrong on what CDS is, iii) insane college green preachers have incorporate the word CDS to go right before harlot, and right after apocalypse, iv) "Unprincipled speculators are making billions every day by betting on a Greek default" according to Papandreou, even though the DTCC notes the net notional in Greek CDS is only $9 billion, v) the SEC is about to get involved meaning activation of WOPR can't be far behind.

Oh, and just because there was a slight shortage of idiotic broken record commentary, here comes Papandreou with more cow dung:

GREEK PM: EU UNITED, WON'T ALLOW SPECLTRS PLAY W/FX STABILITY
GREEK PM: ANTI-SPECULATION TO BE VERY HIGH ON NEXT G20 AGENDA
GREEK PM: HAD POSITIVE RESPONSE FROM OBAMA ON ANTI-SPEC STEPS
GREEK PM: EU SENDING VERY IMPORTANT SIGNAL TO MARKETS
GREEK PM: REPEATS: NOT SEEKING FINANCIAL AID, BAILOUT
GREEK PM: CAN'T ALLOW CRISIS TO CREATE WIDER INSTABILITY

Yup, the important signal is if you ever go long the dollar (better known in this case as short the euro) you will be incarcerated. Ben Bernanke wins again!

At this point we present our gift to all those who want to sound sophisticated and use the words "Credit Default Swaps" and/or "CDS" intelligently in conversation during the lunch hour on CNBC, and actually know what they are talking about, here is the bible - the JPM CDS handbook. Feel free to read it cover to cover.

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