We aren't quite sure what it means when it takes close proximity to Suze Orman to make Shelia Bair look properly medicated on television. Nor are we sure it was the best idea to put the manic "internationally acclaimed personal finance expert" in a series of FDIC confidence booster spots, but it does certainly make for outstanding entertainment during FDIC week here on Zero Hedge. We highly recommend watching the following spots (or just relying on our adjacent Zero Hedge FDIC InstaSummaries™):
"Shoebox" ("Please, please, stop taking money out of banks on our troubled list on Thursdays.")
"Penny" ("We will never, ever, ever run out of money. Seriously. No, really. Why are you laughing?")
"EDIE" ("$100,000$250,000 may be what Congress intended, but structuring will get you much, much more.")
"Nobody" ("Our reputation as a large and uncaring government entity is totally unfounded. We love you (long time).")
"Escondites" ("For our distinguished Latin American depositors, laundering narcodollars that we would much prefer stay in domestic banks just now is not necessary at the present time. Also, Suze Orman'sJulie Stav's wardrobe can be purchased at fine retailers in Caracas, Mexico City and Laredo.")
"Mattress" ("For fuck's sake. We discussed this already. Stop running the banks, damnit.")
We don't know about you, but we feel more confident already.