CNN Offers Citizens of Hawaii Advice on How to Survive a Nuclear Attack

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Following up on last night's broadcast from deep within a nuclear fallout shelter, CNN doubled down on their fear mongering today -- offering advice to the citizens of Hawaii on how to survive on a nuclear attack. Here are the important bullet points.

Hawaii is the first US state to prepare for nuclear attack from N. Korea. Everyone CNN spoke to in Hawaii assumed that in the event of a nuclear attack, they'd all die. THIS IS NOT TRUE (fake news). N. Korea possesses a nuclear bomb like the one we dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki -- 1940s grade garbage. Tens of thousand of people die on the initial impact, but many more died of radiation poisoning. CNN reports Hawaiians have 15 minutes to 'take over' for nuclear impact, should N. Korea launch a missile towards them. Seek shelter and find out where your local nuclear bunker is located. Oh, and have 2 weeks worth of supplies to survive the nuclear holocaust.
Utterly absurd.


HamFistedIdiot Wed, 08/09/2017 - 15:24 Permalink

I used to live on the Big Island. I'd rather be there than on O'ahu where 80% of the state's population resides. But I think there are nuclear facilities at Barking Sands on Kauai too. I hope the targeting doesn't forget Zuckerberg's place, if it comes to that.

J. Peasemold G… Stackers Thu, 08/10/2017 - 19:39 Permalink

Duck and cover !Indeed Stackers, that would be the correct procedure if you had a wooden school desk handy.But at home, or in the office, I prefer the classic technique of decamping to the nearest closet, closing the door tightly, and then swiftly bending over and kissing one's ass goodbye.This of course would only be necessary if the N.K. Blancmange (Kimmy to his friends) actually had a decent delivery system and a compact enough device with enough yield to do some damage.From my reading Kimmy has recreated his Nagasaki namesake (with apologies to Kaspar Gutman) but which should more properly be christened FatBoy.A dirty old clunker for a dirty spoilt brat. Can't have the bucket and spade, and so threatens to take a radioactive dump in the sand box.Here today, Guam tomorrow. J. Peasemold Gruntfuttock

In reply to by Stackers

swmnguy HamFistedIdiot Thu, 08/10/2017 - 09:34 Permalink

Nobody in Hawaii needs to worry about Nork Nukes.  This story is being very carefully presented, in a very dishonest way.  And it's coordinated; every corporate media outlet I've seen is doing it the same way.They talk about the missiles, and then they say Li'l Kim has The Bomb.  Then they mention that according to a report from Japanese Intelligence, they believe Li'l Kim is working on "miniaturization" of a nuclear device.This means that while Li'l Kim has missiles, he doesn't have any nuclear bombs to put on them.  The nuclear bombs he has are huge and crude, like the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs.  So the entire scare about Nork Nukes is phony and made-up.  All the journalists know it or they wouldn't include the parts that completely refute the scare.  They're covering their asses for when everyone else figures out the scam, so they can say, "See, our reporting was factual.  We were merely performing a public service in detailing the potential risks."The Trump Administration can play hot-shot brinkmanship games, pretending there's a huge threat.  As usual, they're working hand in glove with the complicit media.

In reply to by HamFistedIdiot

Bay of Pigs Wed, 08/09/2017 - 15:33 Permalink

I've been in Hawaii for 20 years on the Big Island and Maui and can say without question that nobody would believe this crap coming from CNN. This type of propaganda is hysterical in nature and utterly useless nonsense. No ICBM would ever nake it near the Hawaiian Islands from NK.

NK is no threat at all. A false flag from another source is far more likely. Think 9/11.

land_of_the_few Bay of Pigs Thu, 08/10/2017 - 05:40 Permalink

Also, all the blurb about "1940s-grade Hiroshima / Nagasaki" type bombs.Yes, and the reason the US dropped them from planes was that they were too fucking big to put in a missile,(which they didn't really have either at the time). They were also prototypes that didn't fit in standard bomb racks (understatement)Check here for scale vs. actual people:Fat man:… Boy… fiberglass mockups of both bombs on Tinian with person standing in front for scale…   

In reply to by Bay of Pigs

richsob Wed, 08/09/2017 - 15:53 Permalink

I have a hard time believing Fat Boy is going to attack Guam, Hawaii or even Pulled Groin, Texas.  It would be a death warrant.  I can only imagine EVERYONE.....even the flaming liberals screaming for Trump to fry North Korea if he did that. 

HamFistedIdiot richsob Wed, 08/09/2017 - 16:10 Permalink

Such logic didn't save Saddam Hussein. CNN thinks it can pied piper the herd in whatever direction it wants. What is yellow today can be made blue tomorrow. Just wait to hear what it is acceptable to believe on the six o'clock news. Argument by authority, not reason, seems to be the name of the game. I have some family members who don't care so much about being right as they do about not straying from the herd. I think more than half of humanity functions this way. Sad.

In reply to by richsob

techpriest richsob Wed, 08/09/2017 - 23:53 Permalink

I've heard the same assessment - He may get one good shot off, and then he's done.

My view here is that Trump is trying to create a situation where he can make the NK regime feel cornered, such that they wave their one-shot gun around and become a bigger source of trouble and embarrassment for China. Also, as you said, it would scare Americans into supporting Trump, and even CNN loves Trump when he's ready to get a good war going.

In reply to by richsob

Robert Trip Wed, 08/09/2017 - 16:19 Permalink

Great Grandpa was in Nagasaki after the bomb went off.Former human beings were just shadows melted into the sidewalks and stairwells.The "survivors" suffered horribly.Great Grandpa's advice for confronting a nuclear attack is to simply walk outside and meet your Maker.

logicalman Robert Trip Thu, 08/10/2017 - 19:27 Permalink

A guy my dad used to work with was in Nagaski about a week after it was nuked.He said the thing that got to him the most was the realization that where he was standing used to be a city.The fact that it ceased to exist in a fraction of a second, he said, was beyond belief.I used to live close to the end of what was the longest runway in Europe for a long time. Burtonwood airfield was build to land B29s during WW2 and was still a US base into the 1990s. I knew that if there was a nuke attack I wouldn't feel a thing as I'd be vapourized instantly. Seemed like the best option.If there's a nuke attack, put your head between your knees and kiss your arse goodbye! 

In reply to by Robert Trip

izzee Wed, 08/09/2017 - 16:20 Permalink

On Tuesday night MSNBC's Brian Williams bluntly told his panel on the channel's flagship prime time program, The 11th Hour, that "our job tonight actually is scare people to death" over North Korea. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ not to be outdone....back in the early days Before Psycotherapy, there was a medical cure for this kind of stuff. __________________________________________________ But you CANNOT attack Paradise...Surfing Paradise Them's War Words....that imp prob can't Surf....(Charlie Don't Surf--The CLASH - that last war)

blindfaith spanish inquisition Wed, 08/09/2017 - 17:30 Permalink

  yea, well, Fuckerberg and Killison  don't care, they are above the rest of society. CNN can not be anymore SMARMY and 'base' and insulting the to leftists and still get away with it.  No wait, yes they can.Why don't these leftists realize they are being made a fool of by this ATT owned cable channel?  Why don't these leftists realize they are being trained to be Marxist?  If the left does not understand what happened to the ones NOT CHOSEN' then God help them.  Just ask the Russians, Chinese, the Venezuelans, how it work out for them. 

In reply to by spanish inquisition

ali-ali-al-qomfri Wed, 08/09/2017 - 17:21 Permalink

15 minutes;......brah, nobody moves that fast in Hawaii.concrete basements; nobody has basements, post and pier construction maybe slab on grade. (ya can't dig into blue rock much).2 weeks of food; nobody has that either, you been grocery shopping in Hawaii?