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Locked-Down Americans Fatter-Than-Ever As Krispy Kreme Unveils 'Free-Donuts-For-The-Vaxxed' Promo

Tyler Durden's Photo
by Tyler Durden
Monday, Mar 22, 2021 - 04:40 PM

Let's hope Krispy Kreme is working on a vaccine for diabetes, because it's latest promotion isn't exactly a net-positive for the public welfare.

The donut-maker has announced that, starting Monday, anybody who presents proof of vaccination at any Krispy Kreme location can receive one free glazed donut per visit.

"Krispy Kreme is finding ways to be sweet as the U.S. continues to scale COVID-19 vaccinations. To show our support for those who choose to get vaccinated, starting Monday, 3/22, anyone who shows their COVID-19 Vaccination Record Card will receive a free Original Glazed® doughnut."

In a Q&A published on its website, the company explained that the offer is valid for every individual with a valid Vaccination Record card. Individuals are limited to one donut, but the offer can be redeemed once per day. Meaning anybody who receives the COVID vaccine can swing by for a free glazed doughnut every day between now and the end of the year. The company promised that staff wouldn't try to record or document any customer's vaccination information.

There is one catch, though: the offer is only valid at participating US locations. Though Krispy Kreme also offered a link for customers to complain about any unanticipated difficulties in receiving their free doughnuts.

What if an individual doesn't want to get vaccinated? Well, they can participate in another, much more limited, promotion. Here's what Krispy Kreme said:

"We understand that choosing to receive the COVID-19 vaccine is a highly personal decision. We advise all employees and guests to consult with their healthcare provider regarding whether to obtain a COVID-19 vaccination and which vaccine to receive after reviewing the available information. If you have made the personal decision to not receive the COVID vaccine, please visit us on Mondays, 3/29/21 – 5/24/21, to receive a free Original Glazed® doughnut and a medium brewed coffee to get your week off to a good start."

Judging by the response on social media, the promotion has already succeeded in generating "buzz". Though many joked that Krispy Kreme was trying to swap one public health crisis for another.

It's not like Americans aren't already suffering from rampant weight gain after a year of being largely confined to their homes and barred from gyms.

A recent poll from the American Psychological Association found that some 42% of U.S. adults reported packing on undesired weight since the start of the pandemic.

The poll found that adults who reported undesired weight gain packed on an average 29 pounds during the pandemic.

All of which could not be more ironic as the mitigation policies chosen by 'the smartest people in the room' - i.e. locking us all in our homes to evade a virus that leaves 99.7% of us unharmed - has actually increased the likelihood of Americans' dying if they are infected by COVID (obesity is among the most causal comorbidity for severe COVID cases).

But, that's "science" and you wouldn't understand..

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