Note To Rioting Americans: A Guide To Safe & Profitable Looting

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by Tyler Durden
Thursday, Jun 04, 2020 - 08:25 PM

Continuing our series of Public Service Announcements for America's rioting class (parts one and two here), tonight we are focusing on your safety.

Here’s Babylon Bee's guide on being prepared for safe and profitable rioting.


1. LOOK OUT FOR SWEET LOOT. We got purses, we got cell phones, we got cheesecake, shoes, Legos...

2. FOLLOW OTHER RIOTERS INTO STORES. If you just run into a store by yourself you might get shot.

3. HAVE A BUDDY. Those new 4K TVs are freaking heavy man.

4. STAY SAFE -- But also throw bricks at police. 

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In case you didn't realize by now, this is humor in the face of our nation's ugliness.