Elon Musk Named Time's "Person Of The Year" For 2021

Tyler Durden's Photo
by Tyler Durden
Monday, Dec 13, 2021 - 08:50 AM

It seems like Elon Musk's image, from a PR standpoint, has finally hit escape velocity from all of the "questionable" things Musk has done over the last decade. 

That's because the very same man who once faked an $80 billion buyout bid for his own public company - and who recently has sold $10 billion worth of stock in Tesla, which is in the midst of a broad NHTSA investigation over its Autopilot feature which may or may not ever wind up existing as promised (and as paid for) - has just been named Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" for 2021.

"The richest man in the world does not own a house and has recently been selling off his fortune," Time crows about Musk in their reasoning, talking about "selling off his fortune" like he's giving away his money instead of cashing out of mysteriously overpriced Tesla stock.

"He tosses satellites into orbit and harnesses the sun; he drives a car he created that uses no gas and barely needs a driver," Time continues.

Apparently, Time also didn't catch any recent videos of Teslas on Autopilot. Nor do they seem to understand that Tesla is in the midst of a sprawling 750,000+ vehicle federal investigation into Autopilot by the NHTSA. 

Time continues: "With a flick of his finger, the stock market soars or swoons." Yes, another name for that could be market manipulation, right? 

"An army of devotees hangs on his every utterance. He dreams of Mars as he bestrides Earth, square-jawed and indomitable. Lately, Elon Musk also likes to live-tweet his poops," the magazine wrote. We swear this is Time's actual writeup on why Musk is their "Person of the Year".

In the second paragraph of their reasoning for making Musk their "Person of the Year", they again reference the fact that Musk live tweets while taking a shit:

“Just dropping some friends off at the pool,” the 50-year-old zillionaire informed his 66 million Twitter followers on the evening of Nov. 29, having previously advised that at least half his tweets were “made on a porcelain throne.” After an interval—21 minutes, if you must know—an update: “Splish splash.”

“Sometimes I do hit some resonant notes with respect to humor,” Musk told Time. “But you know, not all jokes land.”

"Musk has spent a lifetime defying the haters; now, it seems, he’s finally in position to put them in their place," Time continued. They called 2021 the "year of Elon Unbound".

Later in their reasoning, Time even seems to backhandedly admit that it isn't how Musk is going to be remembered that's important, it's the fact that he's going to be remembered:

As Shakespeare observed in Julius Caesar, it’s far easier to be remembered for doing evil than doing good. How many will leave a mark on the world—much less the universe—for their contributions rather than their crimes? A few short years ago, Musk was roundly mocked as a crazy con artist on the verge of going broke. Now this shy South African with Asperger’s syndrome, who escaped a brutal childhood and overcame personal tragedy, bends governments and industry to the force of his ambition.

Robert Zubrin, founder of the Mars Society, who met Musk in 2001, told Time: “He is a humanist—not in the sense of being a nice person, because he isn’t."

He concluded about Musk: “Great leaders become incapable of hearing criticism. Why did Napoleon fail in Russia? Because every time before, he had succeeded. Plenty of French generals were saying, ‘Why don’t we just take Poland and be good?’ But every time in the past, the people who urged caution had been wrong.”

If you think you can hold down your breakfast while watching a 12 minute video of Time employees praising Musk, you can watch their video here